Hero and Monster

Reader, writer, gamer, Pathfinder, dog owner, amateur photographer. Carbon-based, three dimesional human being. I'm also at heroes-and-monsters.tumblr.com

[apolladay]

Which nonessential kitchen appliance do you use most frequently?

* air fryer

* blender

* coffee maker

* grill

* juicer

* mixer

* pressure cooker/instapot

* rice cooker

* toaster/toaster oven

* vacuum sealer

* something else

* see results

“Non essential” here meaning items that aren’t heavily used for standard day to day cooking (like stoves, microwaves, refrigerators, etc.)

Which nonessential kitchen appliance do you use most frequently?

air fryer

blender

coffee maker

grill

juicer

mixer

pressure cooker/instapot

rice cooker

toaster/toaster oven

vacuum sealer

something else

see results

Voting ended onMay 24

“Non essential” here meaning items that aren’t heavily used for standard day to day cooking (like stoves, microwaves, refrigerators, etc.)

[fourdiagnosesinatrenchcoat]

In what context is a coffee maker non essential

How else do you make coffee? How is a microwave essential and a coffee maker is not?

[galadriel1010]

Caffettieria?

[jordisstigander]

Not everyone drinks coffee...

[riverfortune]

The toaster oven beat out the rice cooker by a very narrow margin. Both get a lot of use in our house.

Coffee here is made with an electric kettle and pour over device because only one person drinks it.

[song-of-the-spheres]

I'm re-reading the Vorkosigan Saga for the first time in a long time (I think it's been maybe 15 years since I read the earlier books) and I remembered how much I liked them, but I forgot how feral they made me. sorry to anyone in my general orbit for the next 12-14 months.

Lois McMaster Bujold really did go: here have space opera shenanigans paired with an exploration of societal upheaval and intergenerational trauma, told from the perspective of a family composed entirely of people who are deeply unhinged. A+, no notes.

[asterwild]

if i can be a little self-indulgent for a sec i think this muskrat is the most delightful rodent i've ever drawn and i do want you to all look at them again

[sapphosewrites]

I've probably watched too much Leverage, because a man in campus cop uniform came in to ask questions about our box office safe today and my boss let him in and gave him all the info he wanted, no questions asked, and all I could think is that we are horrifically easy to con

[sapphosewrites]

Yes, guy with a toolbelt who says he's the plumber here to fix our known leak, please have unrestricted access to our basement directly below the box office.

If this were Leverage he would be drilling through the floor right now

[kajaono]

Maybe he is? Have you checked?

[sapphosewrites]

No, although I did check the organizational ID of the British woman who came in to do a last minute film shoot on the second floor, bringing with her an equipment cart large enough to hide a person in.

[sapphosewrites]

So it turns out that there is, indeed, money missing from the safe.

[gayvampyr]

are you squeamish about needles?

yes

yes but only shots/injections (not IVs)

yes but only of IVs (not injections)

no

nuance

Voting ended onMay 23

[salmonella-destroyer-of-worlds]

Actual roman epitaph for a dog

[disgruntled-foreign-patriarch]

humans are the same

[mornington-the-crescent]

[bedlamsbard]

I’ve seen this one doing the rounds a few times (and it makes me cry every time I see it), but was curious about the original Latin text, so I did some digging: it’s a shortened version of CIL 10, 00659, a tombstone from Salernum (modern Salerno, Italy). (source; CIL is the Corpus Inscriptionum Latinarum).

Portaui lacrimis madidus te, nostra catella,

     Quod feci lustris laetior ante tribus.

Ergo mihi, Patrice, iam non dabis oscula mille

     Nec poteris collo grata cubare meo.

Tristis marmorea posui te sede merentem

     Et iunxi semper manib(us) ipse meis

Morib(us) argutis hominem simulare paratam,

     Perdidimus quales hei mihi delicias.

Tu, dulcis Patrice, nostras attingere mensas

    Consueras, gremio poscere blanda cibos,

Lambere tu calicem lingua rapiente solebas,

     Quem tibi saepe meae sustinuere manus,

Accipere et lassum cauda gaudente frequenter

And here’s my translation:

Wet with tears I have carried you, our little (female) dog, just as I did in happier times fifteen years earlier (lit. “three periods of five years).  For myself, Patrice, now you will not give me a thousand kisses nor will you be able to lie lovingly around/against my neck.  I have sorrowfully placed you, merit-worthy, in a marble tomb and I have joined you always to myself in death, as by your cleverness you matched a human.  Alas, we lost such pleasures for myself!  You, sweet Patrice, were accustomed to join us at our table, to beg charmingly for food (while sitting in our) laps.  You were in the habit of greedily licking our cups with your tongue, which my hands often held for you.  Frequently and joyfully (you) receive a weary one with your (wagging) tail...

tl;dr: this dog was named Patrice and was very, very loved.  (another translation with some glossing of the text.)

[red-faced-wolf-deactivated20251]

[ospreyonthemoon]

It's the fact she's joined to them in death, it's the fact that she sat in her owner's arms and ate their food. That he held the cups down for her to drink from....

Hundreds of years and we still know she was loved. We still know how she liked to sleep. All these years!! Loving dogs is the same!!!!

[thaylepo]

gonna point out too that 15 years is an INSANELY long lifespan for a dog in ancient Rome. This dog was both well loved and well cared for to have lived so long. Obvs there's going to be some statistical overlap with ancient dogs with loving epitaphs having longer lifespans, but in a world without modern vetrinary science or medicine, no canine vaccines, and no nutritionally formulated dog food, this Roman's beloved pooch exceeded even the average pet dog lifespan today.

[salmonella-destroyer-of-worlds]

Actual roman epitaph for a dog

[disgruntled-foreign-patriarch]

humans are the same

[mornington-the-crescent]

[bedlamsbard]

I’ve seen this one doing the rounds a few times (and it makes me cry every time I see it), but was curious about the original Latin text, so I did some digging: it’s a shortened version of CIL 10, 00659, a tombstone from Salernum (modern Salerno, Italy). (source; CIL is the Corpus Inscriptionum Latinarum).

Portaui lacrimis madidus te, nostra catella,

     Quod feci lustris laetior ante tribus.

Ergo mihi, Patrice, iam non dabis oscula mille

     Nec poteris collo grata cubare meo.

Tristis marmorea posui te sede merentem

     Et iunxi semper manib(us) ipse meis

Morib(us) argutis hominem simulare paratam,

     Perdidimus quales hei mihi delicias.

Tu, dulcis Patrice, nostras attingere mensas

    Consueras, gremio poscere blanda cibos,

Lambere tu calicem lingua rapiente solebas,

     Quem tibi saepe meae sustinuere manus,

Accipere et lassum cauda gaudente frequenter

And here’s my translation:

Wet with tears I have carried you, our little (female) dog, just as I did in happier times fifteen years earlier (lit. “three periods of five years).  For myself, Patrice, now you will not give me a thousand kisses nor will you be able to lie lovingly around/against my neck.  I have sorrowfully placed you, merit-worthy, in a marble tomb and I have joined you always to myself in death, as by your cleverness you matched a human.  Alas, we lost such pleasures for myself!  You, sweet Patrice, were accustomed to join us at our table, to beg charmingly for food (while sitting in our) laps.  You were in the habit of greedily licking our cups with your tongue, which my hands often held for you.  Frequently and joyfully (you) receive a weary one with your (wagging) tail...

tl;dr: this dog was named Patrice and was very, very loved.  (another translation with some glossing of the text.)

[red-faced-wolf-deactivated20251]

[ospreyonthemoon]

It's the fact she's joined to them in death, it's the fact that she sat in her owner's arms and ate their food. That he held the cups down for her to drink from....

Hundreds of years and we still know she was loved. We still know how she liked to sleep. All these years!! Loving dogs is the same!!!!

[thaylepo]

gonna point out too that 15 years is an INSANELY long lifespan for a dog in ancient Rome. This dog was both well loved and well cared for to have lived so long. Obvs there's going to be some statistical overlap with ancient dogs with loving epitaphs having longer lifespans, but in a world without modern vetrinary science or medicine, no canine vaccines, and no nutritionally formulated dog food, this Roman's beloved pooch exceeded even the average pet dog lifespan today.

[butt-rice]

i wish there was a way to say "you're right, but this is really ineffective and even counterproductive messaging to anyone who doesn't already agree with you" without sounding like an asshole

[shittymoviedetails]

In The Departed (2006), Matt Damon and Mark Wahlberg play two different characters— a subtle nod to them being two different actors, despite my wife being unable to tell them apart on the first viewing of the movie.

[dunsalien]

op this is the funniest post you’ve made yet

[brightlotusmoon]

[riverfortune]

I sent this to my husband, as I am also face blind for white men (The Godfather was a confusing watch) and he sent this back:

Apparently the photo contains Matt Damon and Leonardo de Caprio.

Huh. Who knew? Not me. All white men look the same.

[neverniko101]

How would you show affection to your mutuals if you were a cat?

[jkottke]

The United States Disappeared Tracker is “tracking persons politically arrested, detained, or disappeared by the Trump regime since March 9, 2025”.

[chiaroscuro-pneuma]

Why do we say “disappeared”, not “kidnapped”, “abducted”, etc.? It makes it sound similar to “unalive” for killed.

[natalieironside]

??? That’s just what the jargon is. That’s what the jargon’s been for decades. That’s what it’s called.

[kaleb-reblogs]

its quite literally 1984, iirc

[natalieironside]

So it’s at least 77 years old, and has been used in this way for at least 77 years

[riverfortune]

"Disappeared" is a useful term because it covers multiple potential scenarios. Were these people kidnapped? Forced to flee? Murdered?

We don't know.

All we know is they are gone. We can't use a certain word when their fate is uncertain.

[riverlarking]

free museum trips are wasted on unappreciative middle schoolers. let me go

[targetedknowledge]

[draconym]

Me: Fuck, the paper towels I want are on the top shelf.

The Sir David Attenborough That Lives In My Brain: Being smaller-than-average presents an added challenge to foraging ... but necessity is the mother of invention. A little creativity turns a baguette into a tool, and voilà--

(paper towel roll falls on my face)

Sir David Attenborough, pleasantly: Success.

[itseasytoremember]

would you rather be able to

understand (read, write and speak fluently) any human language (dead or alive)

teleport (guaranteed safely) anywhere on earth

Voting ended onMay 9

[riverfortune]

Help! The book series I have been listening to on Libby has 8 more books in it but my library doesn't have any of them! 😭😭😭

[nonlynear]

what even is the theme for this year’s met

[nonlynear]

Perfectly nonsensical. I hope someone goes balls swangin

[mini-wrants]

[riverfortune]

Look I know this is a joke post but if you want a real answer here is a 40 minute YouTube video about it.