[riversidecacti]

okay hold on is that....

yup thats the im sad dead inside shirt

[riversidecacti]

clearer shot from the ap

[starofhisheart]

Happy pride to those 5 seconds where Charlie Swan thought Jacob was coming out to him in the most insane way possible

[catnippackets]

I extremely don't understand whenever someone who's mentally ill and unmedicated is like "I'm afraid to go on medication because what if I can't feel good without the meds?" YOU ALREADY DON'T FEEL GOOD WITHOUT THEM. THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT OF TAKING THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE

[orathearsonman]

i love game changer because the most incomprehensible bits will come outta there and i just know im NEVER going to be able to explain “Sepia tone. I’m gonna kill him so much. Al Pacino” to ANYONE

[the-irreverend]

And stay safe everyone!

[animentality]

[arrowandaxe]

[bee-in-your-binnet]

Coyotes trying their damndest to get domesticated

[vampirezogar]

Anyone else fuck with individual songs? Who is the artist? I dunno. What album is it from? Shut up. What year was it released? *tim allen grunt* What's the title of the track? Fuck you. But it goes like this: *poorly memorized chorus*

I love that song. Do not ask me anything about it.

[monsieurenjlolras]

This is your regularly scheduled reminder that "Life finds a way" is about the dinosaurs becoming transgender

[machinesonmute-deactivated20210]

the temptation every time there’s heavy rainfall to just go out on the street and

[vangogh-vanhoe]

[greenmossloveisreal1998iloveyou]

you should be addicted to shutting the fuck up

You wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid

[whyenn-reader]

[nonlynear]

bear with me. but also twink with me and otter with me. happy pride month on planet earth baby

[bumblebeebats]

Why is it that every time I google something like "Are olives poisonous to cats" the top results are always like "Fun fact: Cats are carnivores! This means that they eat meat. There is no reason to include olives in a cat's diet. You should feed your cat cat food, which is dry or wet food especially designed for cats. You can purchase this at a store." like is there a single person alive on the planet who's googled "Are blueberry muffins safe for cats" because they're planning on switching their cat to a muffin-only diet??? No, I'm asking because the little bastard somehow popped open the packet while I was putting away the groceries and dragged one under the couch before I could react and now I need to know if I should call the after-hours vet. "Cats should not eat spaghetti." NO SHIT, SHERLOCK!!!! "Try to keep human food away from cats." i live in a studio apartment with a completely silent and permanently hungry apex predator who has the intelligence of a toddler and the desperate Machiavellian cunning of a creature who spent his formative months on the streets. He can already open doors and he is this 👌 close to learning how to open the microwave. He is stronger than me and covered in knives. So im gonna do my best but for the moment i just need you to tell me whether this yoghurt is going to kill my son y/n

[spectralhauntings]

I've been using the pet poison hotline's poison list cause it has a search function. It also tells you whether something is mildly, moderately, or severely toxic which can be very handy! It doesn't contain like everything but it might be a good place to start, it also includes plants for fellow houseplant lovers <3

Explore Pet Poison Helpline®s vast knowledge on poisons by reviewing our pet poison list. Explore our top 10 poison and holiday poison lists

[halondrus]

oh me? I lost my penis when I ignored the "Don't touch the machinery" sign. you know how it is

[halondrus]

you all hate me and my penis. I mean penisnt

[halondrus]

I made the mistake of looking at this while taking an order over the headset at work and started laughing really hard and had to gather myself for a second and my coworkers kept trying to look at my phone to see what I was laughing at

[halondrus]

nearly ran a redlight thinking about >penis ripped off by penis gnomes on my way home from work

[virtualgirladvance]

putting this post on every machine from now on thank you

[official-penis-posts]

Penwas :(

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

once my friend made a drink he called turpentine that tasted like every worst college night out rolled into one and felt like getting whacked in the head with a hammer, and I woke up in my own apartment with my phone wallet keys clothes and absolutely zero memory of the night before, and when I checked my watch I'd walked over 60k steps.

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

60k steps in the middle of the night in heels for reasons entirely unknown to me. what was I doing. where did I go. where did I come from. cotton eye joe. or whatever.

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

people are theorizing what happened so here's what I know:

the club we went to closed at 2am and 45kish steps were after 2am, meaning I wasn't still dancing at the club. we got there at 11:30pm. I don't know when we left.

none of us had any charges on our cards or venmos after getting into the club and none of us were missing cash

we all woke up with all our things and no injuries except some bruises (to be expected from a night out)

I woke up smelling like salt water which would make me think I'd ended up in the ocean(??) except my hair was still straight, none of my things were water damaged, and I was completely dry

from our camera rolls we know we were all together until around 4am, but not where we were because they're all too dark to see, which is fucking weird because we live in a city with tons of lights all night

I didn't wake my roommates up when coming home, managed to take out my contacts, cooked mac n cheese, and passed out on the living room floor

me and everyone else who'd been wearing heels had crazy blisters

my friend found a bunch of rocks in his pockets

two of my guy friends were wearing each other's shirts when they woke up (in their separate apartments)

we all got back to our apartments around 6am which we know for a fact because we all texted pictures of ourselves being home safe to the group chat, so being unbelievably hammered didn't stop us from having enough common sense to make sure we were all okay

if we'd been able to sherlock holmes together what happened it'd just be a funny night out but the fact we all have no fucking clue means we have conspiracy theories about it. and we don't let my friend make turpentine anymore.

[crazyneutral]

OP went dancing with the 12 dancing princesses pass it on

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

everyone go home this guy solved it

[sobcat]

people who do a PhD are running from something

[thestrawberrydreams]

Inclusive language is for everyone!!

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Their boyfriend is their partner why is this hard to understand

[korben600]

Also, “partner” is just a good word? It implies an equal relationship where both of your work together in pursuit of something, whether that be life goals or just having fun together.

It’s a good word. People should use it more.

[transgender-rex]

[theswampghost]

you should NOT be at the club. you should be in the streets, june 5th, 1832, paris france. you should be building a barricade