Suicidal ideation is weird. Cause you think god I want to kill myself, but you’d never do it.
But then everything just keeps eating you, that want becomes more and more, a constant echo in your ear, a despairing mantra
Then you hear about people who have jomped off of the Golden Gate Bridge and lived, how the instant they left the railing they regretted it. Wished to take it back, but couldn’t.
Does that mean suicidal ideation has such a thin fine line between actually commuting suicide that you could commit the act while still holding the notion you’d never do it.
To disassociate so heavily for a few minutes maybe an hour, to only come back to your senses the second it’s too late. To only come back to nothing but the regret you feel in those last moments.
