Intermediate instructions

@tehamelie

Humanist philosopher dispensing lessons from her lonely mountaintop. Writer, autistic, transgender. Too much in love with all humankind to get involved in a relationship. If I block you, it is probably because I'd rather rub shit in my eyes than subject them to your lies. Definitely an Antifa ringleader and American pretending to be Swedish.

11.1K posts

Reanimator: "Why can't I quit you?" *reanimates you again* "The vicious cycle of necromancy" *sob*

Well and truly absurd humans are space orcs proposal - human and earth life in general are some of the only beings in the universe that can't perceive math. Every other race doesn't have math or numbers because that would be like if we had to invent an unbelievable complicated system to describe the state of experiencing visible light or sound. Everyone everywhere except humans has got a "math organ" and numbers are tangible physical things that can be measured, except measurements are completely foreign to everyone because those are described by numbers which are simply a sense we lack and had to create for ourselves.

Every other race thinks of us as similar to highly intelligent, blind cave salamanders who have learned to develop a horrific party trick where they turn the sense of sight into a nuclear bomb.

Hmm like if the standard for other species is like being a uncultured plebian faking it at a wine tasting without having any language to describe the variances if they can even perceive them. "This planet's diamater is. . .tasty." "This amount of water is. . .fruity? Maybe a little too salt?" The greatest physicists can come up with and make use of precise terms for the subtle difference in terroir in the distance to their moon at apogee and perigee. But then they argue forever about even trying to translate these experiences between different cultures. And then humans are like "that heavy vintage of c doesn't evoke any feelings but we calculate it to ~300,000 km/second in vacuum" and boom

Or like you're a human chilling on an aircraft carrier when suddenly a nuclear powered submarine driven by star nosed moles surfaces and you have to explain what the sun is in ten seconds or they launch their devastating scent based weapons of mass destruction.

Well and truly absurd humans are space orcs proposal - human and earth life in general are some of the only beings in the universe that can't perceive math. Every other race doesn't have math or numbers because that would be like if we had to invent an unbelievable complicated system to describe the state of experiencing visible light or sound. Everyone everywhere except humans has got a "math organ" and numbers are tangible physical things that can be measured, except measurements are completely foreign to everyone because those are described by numbers which are simply a sense we lack and had to create for ourselves.

Every other race thinks of us as similar to highly intelligent, blind cave salamanders who have learned to develop a horrific party trick where they turn the sense of sight into a nuclear bomb.

Hmm like if the standard for other species is like being a uncultured plebian faking it at a wine tasting without having any language to describe the variances if they can even perceive them. "This planet's diamater is. . .tasty." "This amount of water is. . .fruity? Maybe a little too salt?" The greatest physicists can come up with and make use of precise terms for the subtle difference in terroir in the distance to their moon at apogee and perigee. But then they argue forever about even trying to translate these experiences between different cultures. And then humans are like "that heavy vintage of c doesn't evoke any feelings but we calculate it to ~300,000 km/second in vacuum" and boom

A Fascist Party member has been fired due to suspicion of possessing CSA images - child porn, as the news call it. About two months before Sweden's national elections. So quaint to see a conservative party act like they respect the rule of law or care about their public image.

Which option would you find the more harrowingly inappropriate for your gravestone?

A URL that takes a web browser to your memorial website

A QR code that does the same

Go to bed grandma, online compatible graves is the future

Voting ended on11h

Maybe it's a Facebook page? On one hand it may never go offline, but on the other Mark Zuckerberg will get to use your corpse to sell ads and invade everyone's privacy.

Maybe I should get tehamelie.tumblr.com on mine and then when tumblr finally dies it'll be like my second death for the nones of people in my life who reads my blog. (Haha as if I can ever afford any tombstone.)

Or do you think the graveyards offer to host your page as part of the grave deal? I mean I'm not finding out what these QR codes do cause the graveyard doesn't have wifi so my phone has no internet. (And cause I assume any given QR code is going to give me malware.)

You'd be like someone putting the title of a movie that only existed on silver nitrate film on your gravestone in 1980 - after the two major fires of 1978 that destroyed 4000 km of film. Yes, picture a movie title on a gravestone, as a reference to something that does not exist in living memory. That's what your Internet link is almost certainly going to be. Like I read the other day over 35% of all websites from before 2014 are gone forever. We've proved how fickle the web is as a storage medium. Pretty weird way to mark your place of eternal rest I think.

Pretty strong results here, but let's try one more time to get some spread.

it’s really interesting how the guys that fight against paying child support the hardest are the ones that could afford to do it. these dudes will quit their well paying salaried job with benefits just to avoid their pay getting docked and potentially going to reimburse the mother of their child for buying their kid new shoes. they’ll leave their child without health insurance and work under the table jobs because they really hate their child and former S/O that much.

men who have been conditioned to believe that having kids and caring for them is somehow emasculating

they swear it is a man’s role to provide and protect but they’re going out of their way to deprive and endanger

That provide and protect stuff is really subordinate to being the boss of everyone in their family's life.

‘Nuclear Family Month’ is so funny as a concept. I have never seen a nuclear family worth celebrating.

not even ... simp sons?

they’re not a nuclear family though, Graggle lives with them

And they have three kids. That's stretching the definition, you need exactly two parents and two kids to a house to maximize consumption per person.

Which option would you find the more harrowingly inappropriate for your gravestone?

A URL that takes a web browser to your memorial website

A QR code that does the same

Go to bed grandma, online compatible graves is the future

Voting ended on11h

Maybe it's a Facebook page? On one hand it may never go offline, but on the other Mark Zuckerberg will get to use your corpse to sell ads and invade everyone's privacy.

Maybe I should get tehamelie.tumblr.com on mine and then when tumblr finally dies it'll be like my second death for the nones of people in my life who reads my blog. (Haha as if I can ever afford any tombstone.)

Or do you think the graveyards offer to host your page as part of the grave deal? I mean I'm not finding out what these QR codes do cause the graveyard doesn't have wifi so my phone has no internet. (And cause I assume any given QR code is going to give me malware.)

You'd be like someone putting the title of a movie that only existed on silver nitrate film on your gravestone in 1980 - after the two major fires of 1978 that destroyed 4000 km of film. Yes, picture a movie title on a gravestone, as a reference to something that does not exist in living memory. That's what your Internet link is almost certainly going to be. Like I read the other day over 35% of all websites from before 2014 are gone forever. We've proved how fickle the web is as a storage medium. Pretty weird way to mark your place of eternal rest I think.

‘Nuclear Family Month’ is so funny as a concept. I have never seen a nuclear family worth celebrating.

DMV Line Appreciation Month. National Root Canal Month.

Considering the nuclear family was invented by marketers in the 1950s, an apt comparison would be Pepsi Month

Which option would you find the more harrowingly inappropriate for your gravestone?

A URL that takes a web browser to your memorial website

A QR code that does the same

Go to bed grandma, online compatible graves is the future

Voting ended on11h

Maybe it's a Facebook page? On one hand it may never go offline, but on the other Mark Zuckerberg will get to use your corpse to sell ads and invade everyone's privacy.

Maybe I should get tehamelie.tumblr.com on mine and then when tumblr finally dies it'll be like my second death for the nones of people in my life who reads my blog. (Haha as if I can ever afford any tombstone.)

Or do you think the graveyards offer to host your page as part of the grave deal? I mean I'm not finding out what these QR codes do cause the graveyard doesn't have wifi so my phone has no internet. (And cause I assume any given QR code is going to give me malware.)

You'd be like someone putting the title of a movie that only existed on silver nitrate film on your gravestone in 1980 - after the two major fires of 1978 that destroyed 4000 km of film. Yes, picture a movie title on a gravestone, as a reference to something that does not exist in living memory. That's what your Internet link is almost certainly going to be. Like I read the other day over 35% of all websites from before 2014 are gone forever. We've proved how fickle the web is as a storage medium. Pretty weird way to mark your place of eternal rest I think.

Project Hail Mary (2026)

You know Rocky's name for Grace isn't just short, it's fairly atonal, almost guttural. In my headcanon it's equivalent to like *fart noise*.

(Yes in the book it's the word for "grace" but that's the book.)

Which option would you find the more harrowingly inappropriate for your gravestone?

A URL that takes a web browser to your memorial website

A QR code that does the same

Go to bed grandma, online compatible graves is the future

Voting ended on11h

Maybe it's a Facebook page? On one hand it may never go offline, but on the other Mark Zuckerberg will get to use your corpse to sell ads and invade everyone's privacy.

Maybe I should get tehamelie.tumblr.com on mine and then when tumblr finally dies it'll be like my second death for the nones of people in my life who reads my blog. (Haha as if I can ever afford any tombstone.)

Or do you think the graveyards offer to host your page as part of the grave deal? I mean I'm not finding out what these QR codes do cause the graveyard doesn't have wifi so my phone has no internet. (And cause I assume any given QR code is going to give me malware.)

Which option would you find the more harrowingly inappropriate for your gravestone?

A URL that takes a web browser to your memorial website

A QR code that does the same

Go to bed grandma, online compatible graves is the future

Voting ended on11h

Maybe it's a Facebook page? On one hand it may never go offline, but on the other Mark Zuckerberg will get to use your corpse to sell ads and invade everyone's privacy.

Maybe I should get tehamelie.tumblr.com on mine and then when tumblr finally dies it'll be like my second death for the nones of people in my life who reads my blog. (Haha as if I can ever afford any tombstone.)

(1965)

How does he even walk

tough but fair

Which option would you find the more harrowingly inappropriate for your gravestone?

A URL that takes a web browser to your memorial website

A QR code that does the same

Go to bed grandma, online compatible graves is the future

Voting ended on11h

Maybe it's a Facebook page? On one hand it may never go offline, but on the other Mark Zuckerberg will get to use your corpse to sell ads and invade everyone's privacy.

My grandma just called and, among other things, said “You have hips. That’s good! Men like hips!” and then she interrupted herself to say “Women like hips. People of your preferred gender like hips. I can never remember” And I was like “Thanks grandma! My preferred gender is none of them, no thanks.” and she was like “Okay, no one will comment on your hips!” very self satisfied, like “aha, I have figured it out” I think like half her grandkids are some variety of not-straight and she can’t always remember which is which but she is the epitome of like “she’s a little confused, but she’s got the spirit!”

Update: I gave it some thought and my estimate was wrong. Of the grandkids that are out, it’s 1/3, not ½

I told my grandma that I’d told my friends about what she said and that some of y’all had said you wished she was your grandma, and she said “Well, you can never have too many grandkids!” So like…consider her your honorary grandma* I guess? *if you want an honorary grandma, that is

Update on my grandma: I told her my hair was standing up, but instead of straight line it was diagonal and she said “That’s okay, you’ve never been straight!” and then laughed so hard at her own joke I thought she was going to drop the phone

Happy almost pride month! Have my confused-but-supportive grandma!

An update: my grandma just called me to ask if I knew it was pride month

Happy pride month!!

My grandpa would have to go down the list of his four children and five grandchildren in order of age until he remembered your name, I don't know if that's a normal amount of confused, he did have pronounced dementia some 25 years later, but grandma sounds less confused than that

Intermediate instructions @tehamelie - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag