Fifty Shades Of F*ucked ;)

We don’t know what we’re doing, if you know what we’re doing please tell us 1$ reward

[roommateriot]

I’d just like to put this out there, you ever get so stressed that your nightmares aren’t even scary anymore? I mean I just woke up from the most messed up nightmare I’ve had in a while, falling through wooden floors that were cutting me up bad repeatedly and you wanna know all that was going through my head during that? “Who built these things this cannot be up to code” AND I WAS BLEEDING OUT FALLING THROUGH FLOORS AND I DID NOT CARE ABOUT THAT I CARED ABOUT THE BUILDING SAFETY CODES.

[roommateriot]

On Christmas break, we are aware that the world is freakin out over covid and all its jazz and STAY INSIDE CHILDREN YOULL GET THE VID and LIMIT YOUR CIRCLES YOULL GET THE VID, sir/ma’am’s/they’s of the world I LIVE WITH 2 GROWN ASS MEN (well 20 year olds so older toddlers) who love to drink and go out and have fun, now I am living here while on my break and during this time have I left the house? No only once last week to get groceries, what did I test positive for while the other two dingbats tested negative for today? COVID WTF WHY MUST YOU TARGET ME? WHY COULDNT YOU HAVE SHOWN UP DURING EXAMS WTF

[roommateriot]

Okay so anytime something slightly inconveniences me I respond in one of these ways:

1. “start a RIOT” (literally anytime)

2. “You shall be smited” (objects or annoying people)

3. “Commit arson” or “arson, arson is the answer” (say this casually)

4. “HOW fucking diddly dare you” (objects)

5. Excuse you (directed at objects most times)

Please don’t actually commit arson

[roommateriot]

Due to it becoming final exams season we need a liiiiittle something to keep moral up, and so the beginning to the prank war

[roommateriot]

ITS COLDER THAN THE DAMN ICEAGE AND WETTER OUTSIDE THAN I MAKE YOUR GIRL-

… I MEAN WETTER THAN WATER OUTSIDE

[animatedtext]

[roommateriot]

This is a good morning affirmation I do believe

[roommateriot]

Quick update of some of our new favorite sticky notes

[roommateriot]

Do you ever just have that intense feeling of just the essentials of a keyboard smash? Like I’m not sad or angry I just feel FHANDVDJDA and then you look at it and it’s not quite right so you change it to FJSHROSDHNDJWUDHR

Yeah

[roommateriot]

Ohhhohohohohohohohohoho OHHHHHHH

WELL WELL WELL WĘŁL WÊŁL

<insert annoying ass lovely person I’d lightly bonk in the head with a chair>

“Is a hole in the ground” ;)

[roommateriot]

As a university student (or college student for the Americans here) there will be a storm coming where we are, and it will be a DOOSEY of a storm. Now I’m not sure exactly how badly it will hit us but we are excited as this means for most of us: BEST SLEEP EVER!!! However to those who will not in fact have the BEST SLEEP EVER!!! there are things you can do to keep calm:

1. Prepare the lights because I know you have some form of LEDs or fairy lights

2. GRAB THEM SNACKS because the weather will be miserable but we don’t have to be

3. Pre charge your electronics for idk movies?

4. OH DOWNLOAD SOME MOVIES

5. Get your blankets and create a comfy space and make sure your window is shut because I forgot one night and woke up to my favorite tarot cards SOAKED UP LIKE FNSJHDHEKE SPONGES

Be safe, storms suck, and if you’re in my building feel free to pop on over 👍

[roommateriot]

I have one thing to say and just one thing.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAÀÁÁAAAAAAÆAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAÀÂAAAÅAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Thank you

[roommateriot]

Live purely by whether the pug says it’s a bones day or not and, if the sun is shining through the clouds. Plus we got shiny rocks and a porcelain lizard to pray to for good exam marks. It’s fine, ITS FINE, ItS FiNe.

[roommateriot]

Feelin like a spider in a web but each string anchoring me down to stability is slowing flipping out because a dumbass bird decided to dive bomb it :|

[roommateriot]

Things in our dorm rooms that just make sense;

1. The strange black stains in the sink

2. The perfect circle burnt into the carpet In Emma’s room

3. The strange white stain in Jess’s room

4. The dressers are behind the door

5. Strange ceiling stains (no idea how that happened)

6. Our note wall

7.our red flag list

8. Our tiny bathroom shelf that doesn’t hold anything :’)

[roommateriot]

Woke up and it is indeed a nope today

[roommateriot]

We keep a post it note wall in our bathroom for just random thoughts, here’s some of our favorites