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pairing: bucky barnes x avenger!reader
summary: you think it’s nothing—just a one-off, a fluke—when bucky softens at the sight of a baby in your arms during a cookout. but then it keeps happening. babies at airports. babies on recon. babies in vending machine ads. and every time, he looks at you like you’re the answer to a question he hasn’t asked out loud yet. he starts carrying gum “in case someone’s kid gets fussy on a flight,” stares too long at tiny boots in store windows, and once, unironically, asks if your hypothetical child would like goats. you’re not dating. officially. no one knows. but you’ve been sharing a bed for months and he makes you tea without asking and you’re starting to have dreams about pacifiers. he’s subtle about it. until he’s not. until he’s standing at a target, holding a baby hat like it cracked his ribs open, and says he wants a family—with you. not someday. now.
word count: 10.7k
content warnings: 18+ mdni, fem!reader, piv, oral (f! receiving), soft dom bucky, light bdsm undertones, bucky barnes being whipped (he gets the baby fever first let's bffr), kind of feral bucky, you think you guys are in a situationship when he's fully looking at baby registries, nipple play, yearning, angst, dirty talk, praise, overstimulation, self-induced angst, multiple orgasms, talks of pregnancy and starting a family, marathon sex, riding, fingering, body worship, size kink, bucky picks the reader up, he talks you through it, breeding kink, unprotected sex, creampie
notes: this is the most unhinged, feral thing i've ever written. i hope you enjoy!
The baby gets handed to you like a bread basket.
No warning, no instruction manual. Just, “Here, can you hold her for a sec?” from someone—one of the off-duty OXE staff maybe, or someone’s civilian cousin. You don’t catch a name, just a flurry of motion, and then—
She’s in your arms.
Somehow, between the last debrief and the next recon drop, a grill appeared in the Watchtower's rooftop patio, along with several folding chairs, a cooler full of Avengers-branded soda, and one slightly charred volleyball. You suspect Val had something to do with it. Some psychological team-building exercise disguised as a cookout.
Either way, you’re here.
She’s maybe seven months old, squishy-cheeked and furrow-browed, in a tiny Sentry onesie. Her hair is an indecisive wisp of something light brown, fine and floaty like thistle down, and her eyes—heavy-lidded, contemplative—regard you as though you’re a particularly uninspiring segment of the Discovery Channel.
“She’s—uh,” you say, because your brain’s buffering. “Hi?”
“Hey,” you say again, dumbly.
Next to you, Bucky lowers his beer so slowly it’s like watching a magic trick. He blinks once, then again, like he’s not sure you’re real or the baby is. Possibly both.
“What—why—did you steal a baby?” he asks.
“She was just handed to me.”
You shift, trying to get comfortable. She’s a solid little thing, warm like a fresh loaf of bread, and her hand is currently fisting your collar with alarming purpose. Your shirt stretches under the assault.
Bucky’s still staring. You can feel it—like a sunlamp trained directly at your temple. His mouth is parted slightly. One finger taps against the side of his bottle, rhythmically, unconsciously.
“She’s fine,” you say. “I’m holding her fine, right?”
“Yeah. No, yeah. You look—good.”
You glance at him. His eyes snap up to yours, then away again, like they touched something they weren’t supposed to. The tips of his ears are pink.
You almost say something—tease him, maybe—but the baby chooses that moment to yawn, a full-body, jaw-cracking affair. She snuggles closer into your chest, small cheek pressing into the fabric of your shirt, and suddenly it’s less funny.
Bucky tilts his head, unreadable. “She trusts you already.”
“She’s a baby,” you say, trying to shrug it off. “She trusts anyone with a pulse.”
“No. She knows,” he says, like it’s a settled fact. His gaze lingers on the place where her fingers clutch your shirt, and then—slowly—drifts back to your face.
You feel that look all the way down your spine.
The barbecue hums around you—low, uneven, weirdly domestic for a group like this. Someone’s burned the corn on the grill again (probably Walker, judging by the smoke and the defensive muttering). Yelena’s holding court by the picnic table, sunglasses perched on her head, force-feeding Bob the world’s most questionable potato salad and narrating it like a cooking show. Alexei’s seated in a folding chair two sizes too small, already shirtless and red-faced, beer in hand, yelling something about meat science. Ava is off to the side, calmly reading the nutrition label on a bag of marshmallows like it might be a coded message.
But you and Bucky are caught in this little bubble. A stillness between the beats. The baby, breathing softly. Bucky, watching you like the moment means something more than he’s prepared to admit.
She shifts in your arms. Grunts. You adjust your hold, and Bucky makes a small, strangled noise.
“She good?” you ask.
“She’s—she’s got a strong neck,” he says, as though that’s a compliment. Then, after a second. “You’re really good with her.”
“You’ve seen me hold her for thirty seconds.”
“Still.”
You hold his gaze a beat longer than you should. It’s soft, something unguarded in it. You remember, vaguely, hearing Steve say once that Bucky used to watch people the way most men look at stars. Like there was something miraculous in the simple fact of their existence.
You think maybe you’re beginning to understand what he meant.
“She wants you,” you say, mostly to break the tension. The baby is reaching now, hands grasping toward the collar of Bucky’s henley like she’s on a tiny mission.
He stiffens. “She what?”
“She’s targeting you. Consider it payback for all that glaring you did at the diaper bag earlier.”
“I wasn’t glaring,” he says. “I was…assessing.”
You arch an eyebrow. “Well, she’s assessing you back. Here. Take her.”
You don’t give him a choice. You shift the baby into his arms, and despite all his protesting, he takes her like he’s afraid she’ll break—gently, like someone handed him a fragile truth.
For a moment, he just stands there—awkward, tense, unsure. His left arm, the vibranium one, catches the light in hard, gleaming lines. But then she sighs, her head lolls toward his shoulder, and his body reacts before his mind does—he cradles her closer, shifts to support her neck, leans in slightly like he’s listening to her breathe.
A hush settles around you.
“She’s warm,” he murmurs.
“That’s a good sign. You’d know if she was cold. Babies are very vocal about injustice.”
His eyes don’t leave the baby’s face. Those eyes—stormcloud blue, too old for his face, always a little wary—are softened now. They flick across her tiny features like he’s reading scripture. Absorbed. He sways just slightly, unconsciously, like some long-dormant instinct is waking up in his bones. “She’s got little eyelashes,” he says, like it’s the strangest thing he’s ever seen.
“She’ll grow into them,” you say softly. “It happens.”
He’s silent a long time. The baby squeaks in her sleep and tugs at the collar of his shirt.
“She’s… safe,” he says, the word delicate on his tongue. “You can feel it, can’t you? Like the whole world isn’t so bad. Just—quiet, for once.”
Your chest aches.
He glances at you then, and for a split second, he looks completely vulnerable. Like there’s something perched just behind his teeth that he doesn’t know how to say.
You step closer. Not enough to touch. Just enough for proximity to pass as intimacy.
“Bucky.”
He doesn’t look away from you.
“I think you’d be good at it,” you say quietly. “The whole dad thing.”
You watch the thought settle on him—slow and heavy, like snowfall. He blinks, once. Breathes in, shallow. His jaw shifts, like he might say something and doesn’t. And then—
“I’d want you there,” he says.
It’s not casual. Not joking. Just... real. A plain sentence, stripped of armor.
You freeze. The baby exhales against your collarbone like she’s aware of the moment and giving it space. Bucky, for his part, looks like he’s just handed you something delicate and possibly flammable.
“Oh,” you say, brilliant as ever.
And he nods. That’s it. A small thing. But he looks weirdly shell-shocked by the admission, like he’d surprised himself saying it aloud. Like he hadn’t even meant to. His smile comes after, slow and stunned and slightly lopsided—almost sheepish, as if he's staring straight at the sun and can’t quite believe it’s warm.
Then her parent’s voice breaks through, all cheerful gratitude. “Hey—thanks! I just needed a sec.”
You watch Bucky blink back into the moment, his hands reluctant as they ease from the baby’s back. He doesn’t quite give her up at first. His fingers linger on the edge of her onesie like they’re memorizing the feel of it. When he does let go, it’s too slow to be casual.
Just like that, the baby’s gone. The space she took up in your arms feels heavier now that it’s empty.
You glance sideways. So does he. But you don’t quite meet in the middle.
Instead, you reach for a napkin and hand it over wordlessly. He accepts it like it’s a diplomatic gesture, dabbing at the drool spot on his shoulder with a sort of distraction.
“She liked you,” you offer, voice quieter than you meant it to be.
His lips quirk. A ghost of a grin. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
There’s a silence after that—longer than it needs to be. Not uncomfortable, just... spacious. Like it’s waiting for someone to step into it. Neither of you do.
Then Bucky clears his throat. “Wanna go in on a pack of bibs?”
You blink. “What?”
He shrugs, suddenly preoccupied with smoothing the napkin along his leg. “Just—you know. For next time.”
You almost laugh. You want to. But something in your chest goes soft instead.
“Yeah,” you say. “Sure. Next time.”
.
Everyone else calls you “the new Avengers.” Valentina prefers to call you just "the Avengers," like saying it with enough fake reverence will make people forget it started as a Hail Mary branding ploy and ended with supernatural darkness swallowing half of New York.
You still call it the Thunderbolts in your head. Not out of loyalty. Just because it fits better.
Technically, you weren’t supposed to be on the roster. Neither was Bucky. He was busy playing congressman—pressed suits, policy meetings, public appearances where he looked like he’d rather be fighting a bear. He wasn’t exactly thrilled about the job, but it was penance, or progress, or both, depending on who you asked. You’d been benched too, in a less official capacity. Tactical reassignment, they said, which is just HR speak for “we don’t know what to do with you yet.”
But then Bob Reynolds cracked in half like a cosmic wishbone. And everything went sideways.
They needed people who could navigate pocket dimensions without losing their minds. People who wouldn’t balk at the Void whispering their worst memories back to them in surround sound. People who could get in and out of a childhood bedroom that wasn't theirs, and still say the right thing.
You and Bucky, for better or worse, fit the bill.
Yelena vouched for you. You’d worked a few ops together—low-profile, high-risk, the kind of assignments that didn’t end up in press releases. Bucky came with his own résumé, mostly consisting of grim nods and trauma credentials.
So now you’re here. In a Watchtower with folding chairs and lunchboxes with your face on them. With a new badge and a code name you didn’t pick. With Bob, whose grip on sanity is improving in inches. With Ava, who can barely look at light too long without phasing through it. With Alexei, who’s taken to shirtless speeches and the New Avengers merch like a religion. With Walker, who somehow thinks this is a promotion.
And Bucky.
You don’t talk about what you are.
There’s no label. No neat little term to slot yourselves under, no status update or whispered confession over pillowcases. No one’s dared to say the word “relationship,” and yet you’ve brushed your teeth side by side, curled instinctively toward each other in sleep, passed cups of coffee back and forth like currency. You’ve learned each other’s silences. Memorized the geography of old scars. He knows how you like your eggs. You know when his silence means don’t ask and when it means please.
It’s not nothing. It never was.
You’re just not telling the others. Not because you’re ashamed—god, no—but because it’s yours. And because once the world knows something, it stops being sacred. It becomes strategy. Becomes leverage. People like Valentina will smile too wide and call it a liability. Alexei will make a crass joke. Walker will ask for details.
It’s easier this way. Quieter. Unnamed, it can’t be ruined.
And besides—you don’t even know what to call it. What to call him, when it’s three a.m. and he’s tucked behind you in bed, breath warm against your neck, arm slung around your waist like he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it.
Bucky’s not a man who rushes things. He moves like he’s learned the cost of wanting too much. And you—you’ve never let someone all the way in without already picturing the exit wound.
But moments like earlier—when he held that baby like she was breakable and looked at you like you were the answer to a question he hadn’t meant to ask—they’re getting harder to ignore.
You don’t think about it. Not actively.
You just… catalog. Silently. Like a squirrel with emotional acorns.
.
It’s past midnight when you find him again in the kitchen.
You knew he’d be here. You always do.
There’s leftover risotto on the stove and a mostly full bottle of red wine on the counter. He’s sitting at the tiny table like it’s a church pew—hunched a little, fork in hand, bare feet braced on the cold tile floor. His hoodie is soft with age, sleeves shoved up to his elbows, and the vibranium arm glints under the light. His hair’s still damp from the shower.
He looks up when you pad in—doesn’t startle, doesn’t flinch. Just finds you with those soft, sleep-starved eyes like he’s been waiting for you. “You’re up.”
“So are you,” you say, sliding into the chair across from him. “Could smell garlic from my room.”
“I put more cheese in it this time,” he says, with the quiet pride of a man who’s learned domesticity through stubborn practice and YouTube videos.
You reach for the wine, pouring yourself half a glass. The silence between you is familiar. Easy. It’s the kind that grows roots.
“Bad dream?” you ask.
“Yeah,” he says.
You nod. You don’t ask about it.
Instead, “You always this good at risotto?”
“First one was basically wallpaper paste,” he admits. “Sam said it was fine. His sister actually cried.”
You snort, half-choked on your sip. “Cried?”
“She got emotional. Said she saw God in a grain of arborio.”
You’re still grinning when he pushes the pot toward you with a silent offer. You help yourself, spooning some into a mismatched bowl. It’s warm. Comforting. Rich with butter and—yeah, definitely more cheese.
This—this is your favorite version of him. Not the soldier. Not the team lead or the briefing-room strategist. Just Bucky. Tired and soft-eyed in the kitchen, humming low when he stirs a pot. Still, in a way that feels rare.
You think about the baby again from earlier. About the way he looked at her. How his whole body went still, but his eyes went soft, like he’s seeing something he misses but can’t remember.
You stir your wine with a finger. Casual. Not casual at all.
“I’ve been thinking,” you start, mostly just to fill the space. “Weird day, huh?”
His brow ticks up, a silent question.
“That baby,” you say. “She just… latched on. Like I was made of Velcro.”
There’s a beat.
“She liked you,” he says. Quietly. Not teasing. Just honest.
You huff a small laugh, not quite hearing the undertone. “She drooled on me. That’s practically a proposal.”
But he doesn’t smile.
He’s looking at you the same way he looked at the baby—still, like something cracked open and never quite resealed. You miss it entirely. Instead, you sip your wine and stretch your legs beneath the table, toes brushing his. “But, I mean, you held her like a pro. Natural instincts, huh?”
His gaze lingers on you for a moment more before dropping to his bowl. He stirs it aimlessly, the motion absent.
“I used to think I’d have a bunch.”
That surprises you, but he keeps going.
He smiles a little, faint and crooked. “Back when I was just some punk from Brooklyn. Thought I’d get married. Have a couple kids. A porch swing. You know. The American Dream.”
“What changed?” you ask, voice gentler than you meant.
He shrugs. “Everything. Time. Who I became.”
You nod slowly. Try not to let your chest cave in.
“Rebecca used to say I’d be a good dad,” he adds. “She said I was good with her dolls.”
“Your sister?”
He nods. There’s a glow in his eyes now—faint, faraway. “She was eight years younger. I helped raise her, after my ma got sick. Used to walk her to school, do her hair. She liked braids. I wasn’t good at ‘em, but I tried.”
You try to picture it—Bucky, hair slicked back, hands clumsy with a brush, coaxing bows into place on a giggling child’s head.
Your lips twitch. “Braids?”
“Bad ones.” He finally glances at you, mouth quirking faintly. “She called ‘em ‘buckle braids.’ Said they looked like seatbelts.”
You laugh, unexpected. He ducks his head, a little embarrassed, but you miss the way his eyes stay on you too long.
“She’s still alive, isn’t she?” you ask softly.
He nods. “We talk. It’s… complicated. A lotta years between us now.”
There’s another pause.
You don’t fill it. You just watch him, lit gold by the stovetop light, swirling his water like it’s something stronger. He looks far away in that moment—not guarded, not distracted, just... elsewhere. Like his mind is somewhere quieter, and he’s trying to remember how it felt to live there.
He looks like a man trying to remember a life that feels more like a dream.
You think about the look on his face earlier, when that baby yawned and curled into your chest. How he’d watched like he couldn’t quite breathe. Like he’d seen something he wanted and couldn’t name. And yeah—okay—it tugged at something in you too, sure. But not like it did to him. He’s still in it. Still holding on to the ghost of that moment with both hands, even now.
You look at him—soft in a hoodie and bathed in golden light, cheeks pink from wine and warmth and maybe something else—and your chest twists with something slow and awful. The kind of ache that leaves no bruise.
And still. You push your bowl toward him and say, “Okay, fine. I’ll admit it. This is good.”
He snorts, low. “Told you. Not totally helpless.”
“Mm,” you hum. “Jury’s still out.”
But your smile lingers, even as your heart doesn’t know where to settle.
You don’t talk about babies again. Not directly.
But when you both stand to rinse the dishes, you brush past him and say, “For the record… I bet you’d nail braids now.”
And his ears go pink.
You pretend not to see. Because if you do—if you look too closely—you might not be able to keep pretending you don’t know what all of this means.
.
“I want ten of my babies. Obviously.” Ava dips a fry into mustard with the kind of grim determination usually reserved for defusing bombs. “Different thing.”
You’re all at the diner again. It started as a joke—something Walker demanded once after a particularly grim mission, swearing by the restorative power of bacon and drip coffee—and somehow, it stuck. Now it’s tradition: post-debrief pancakes, a rotating cast of bruises and black eyes crowding into a corner booth that’s definitely too small. No one’s sure when it became sacred, but no one skips it, either.
The baby talk started again—somehow inevitably—because of the mission.
A standard evac turned sideways. Smoke, rubble, a collapsed stairwell. Someone heard crying. Alexei went full Terminator through a wall. And when the dust cleared, there he was—coughing soot and holding a six-month-old like it was a live grenade. The baby didn’t even cry. Just blinked and drooled and grabbed Alexei’s nose like he owed him money.
It should’ve been a footnote in the mission report. It turned into a full-on debate about parental instincts, fight-or-flight hormones, and who would actually survive trying to raise a baby while doing this job.
From there, it was only a matter of time before Ava declared her hypothetical soccer team of spawn with a kind of detached confidence that suggested she’d already drawn up the chore wheel.
You nod in reluctant agreement, as if that’s a normal sentence to hear over diner food at 9 a.m. on a Thursday. “Different thing,” you echo, like that explains anything.
There’s a pause filled only with the faint sizzle of a kitchen grill and the shriek of someone’s child two booths over. You’re content to let the silence stretch, to keep spooning eggs into your mouth like a sane person, until John leans back. His arm stretches across the vinyl booth with the exaggerated flair of a man who thinks he’s charming. He tilts his head toward you like he’s about to ask for a kiss, and then drops the bomb.
“What about you? Ever think about having kids?”
Your fork pauses mid-scramble. You blink. Once, then again, slower. The question isn’t new—it’s just never been aimed quite so directly at your throat before.
And somewhere in your mind, like a coin dropping into a well, you hear Bucky’s voice again.
“I used to think I’d have a bunch.”
The memory curls in your chest like a secret.
“Sure,” you say finally, and it comes out like a shrug in sentence form. “Sounds like fun. You know. In a nightmarish, identity-altering kind of way.”
John grins like you’ve handed him a gift. “Hey, I know a guy if you’re interested.”
“Oh?" you deadpan, already regretting it.
“Banked some before deployment, real clean record, full medical—”
There’s a sound beside you. Ceramic on laminate. Not a crash—more of a punctuation mark. You glance over.
Bucky’s hand rests on his coffee cup like he’s trying to stop it from shivering apart. The cup’s rim taps against the table once, sharp and accidental. His face doesn’t move. Doesn’t look at you, or at John. He stares into the coffee like it’s a black hole that might finally suck him in, if he just glares hard enough.
Walker doesn’t notice. Or pretends not to, which is maybe worse.
You shift slightly, angle your body just enough to catch Bucky’s profile. Not his eyes—he’s not giving you that. But you see the muscle ticking in his jaw, the way his thumb presses against the handle like it’s either that or throwing the cup against the wall. He breathes, chest pounding and heavy, like he’s counting to ten. Like ten isn’t enough.
And you—idiot that you are—you feel it too. That low, aching pull at the thought of him with that baby. How natural he’d been. How soft his voice had gone. And how, for one weird, echoing second, you’d let yourself imagine it. Not just him with a child. But him with yours.
(It’s a thought you shouldn't let live, but it does anyway—burrows in, sharp and hungry. He’d be such a good father. Steady hands, steady voice, a tenderness in him that most people never get to see. You’d watched it spark to life like muscle memory, something old and unforgotten.
And then, because your brain is a traitor, the thought tilts—what it would feel like to give him that. To give him that child. Not some hypothetical future, not a vague maybe someday. You. Him.
That kind of closeness. That kind of permanence.
The weight of him over you, inside you, something rough and completely undoing. It knocks the air from your lungs before you can even feel it coming.
You imagine his voice rough and low—you’d look so fuckin’ good like this, he’d murmur, hands spreading over your stomach, already possessive. Full of me. Mine. You imagine his mouth, soft stubble between your thighs, saying let me make you a mom, like it’s the last sane thought in his head.
And you—well, now you're sitting in a diner booth trying to pretend you didn’t just think the words “let me make you a mom” while someone’s child screams three feet away. You’re not proud. You are, in fact, actively praying for death. Or coffee. Whichever comes first.
So you do what you do best. You pivot.)
“Anyway,” you say, louder now, aiming your voice like a dart at Walker’s oblivious skull. Making sure your voice is light enough to convey that there isn't a world that it would ever happen with him. “Let me know if your guy offers a bulk discount. I’ll take two or three. Maybe four if they come pre-housebroken.”
John laughs. “First five are free. They just start billing you in sleep and soul erosion.”
Bucky finally moves. Not much. Just enough to slide the cup an inch back toward the middle of his placemat, like maybe now it’s safe. Like maybe no one noticed.
You’d like to kick John under the table. Just enough to shut him up. Just enough to let Bucky breathe.
Instead, you swirl your fork through yolk and wait for someone else to speak. Hope to someone out there that this whole baby thing will be put to rest.
.
But that day was just the start.
You don’t know if something cracked open in the universe or if Bucky secretly bartered a piece of his soul to a baby-loving deity in exchange for emotional clarity, but suddenly—it’s like the planet has been overrun. Babies. Everywhere. Strollers, carriers, those ridiculous kangaroo pouches. Toddlers with juice mustaches and light-up shoes. Infants in tiny sunglasses.
Worse, you’re always with him when it happens.
It starts innocently enough. You’re on stakeout. The intel turns out to be garbage—no targets, no movement, just an empty building and a guy who might’ve been Hydra or might’ve just been bad at directions. You’re about to call it when Bucky… stops walking.
No explanation. Just freezes on the sidewalk.
You turn, squinting. “What? You see something?”
And then you hear it. A laugh. Tiny. High-pitched. Pure. You scan the street and there it is: a baby in a stroller, arms flailing with chaotic joy, pink beanie slipping sideways on her round little head. Her mom is pushing her like it’s just a Tuesday. But Bucky—he crouches. Hands on his knees. Watching like he’s stumbled across the Ark of the Covenant.
“That’s a good laugh,” he mutters, almost worshipful. “That’s… like a top-tier laugh.”
You blink. “You ranking baby laughs now?”
He doesn’t answer. Just keeps watching. Like the baby might do it again. Like he’s rooting for her.
You nudge him with your elbow. “Want me to get you a ringtone?”
He says nothing. His silence is telling.
Then it escalates.
Buenos Aires. Late afternoon. The heat’s syrupy, everything sunstruck and slightly too bright. You’re waiting for the decryption key to finish running—loitering under a chipped awning while the team fans out down the block, pretending to be tourists. You’re halfway through a warm soda and reading something in Spanish when Bucky drifts up beside you.
You don’t look at him. You’ve learned not to. He does this thing sometimes—leans in close enough for his shoulder to brush yours, says nothing at all, and just exists like a slow-burn fire you’re pretending not to feel.
This time, it’s worse. He gestures toward a store window. Shoes. Not just any shoes—tiny tactical boots, scaled down like someone was kitting out the junior division of the Avengers. Rugged soles, reinforced stitching, little laces that look too delicate for real fieldwork but too precise to be anything but serious gear. They’re absurd. They’re perfect.
“You think they make those in toddler size 5?”
You turn. Slowly. Give him the full weight of your skepticism. “Planning to outfit your own baby militia?”
He shrugs. Casual. Easy. Too easy. “Just wondering. Hypothetically.”
But then his eyes flick toward you—just for a beat. Like he’s measuring something. Like he’s waiting for a reaction you don’t know you’re giving.
You keep walking. Pretend not to feel your heart skip unevenly.
And it becomes a pattern. A weird, creeping, almost endearing pattern. You’re raiding safehouses, rerouting encrypted intel, shaking a tail in Prague, and somehow Bucky is the one lingering in front of vending machines, pointing at squeezable yogurt pouches like they’re alien tech.
“These have the little resealable caps,” he says, deadpan. “For babies, I think. Smart.”
You blink. “You want one?”
“No,” he says, looking thoughtful. “Just—clever design. Kid-friendly.”
You stare. He shrugs. Again. It’s becoming suspicious. Too real.
.
Later, it’s dark. Safehouse. Everyone asleep or pretending to be. You and Bucky are curled in the guest room that’s technically yours but hasn’t been solo occupancy in weeks.
He’s already touching you before your brain catches up. Warm fingers ghosting under your shirt, calloused and rough, sliding over your ribs like he’s taking inventory of your soft places. You’re breathing shallowly before he even kisses you, your body already recognizing this as surrender.
There was a time when you thought Bucky would be a gentleman.
Reserved. Polite. Old-world chivalry repackaged in tactical black. You’d imagined he was probably hesitant in bed, at first. The type to ask twice, maybe three times, before putting his hands anywhere remotely close to where you’d actually want them. You thought he’d kiss softly. Whisper his affections like prayer. You thought—foolishly—that his stillness was quiet.
It’s not.
It’s restraint. Caged hunger. A man constantly one flick away from wrecking you completely.
Because Bucky doesn’t fuck like a soldier. Or a hero. He fucks like a man starved. Like he’s spent entire decades in lockdown with nothing but the memory of heat, and you’re the only warmth he’s ever wanted. He’s filthy in the way that makes your ears ring. Filthy in the way he moans your name when he’s too far gone to realize he’s saying it out loud.
Filthy in the way he says please.
That’s the worst part. The please.
Please kiss me, sweetheart. Please, let me stay in a little longer. Please, don’t stop. Please, I’ll be good. Please, have my ki—You gasp. He hasn't said that last part. You can't entertain that.
“Remember that time in Bolivia?” he murmurs, more statement than question, voice a gruff rasp against your throat. “When I fucked you against the wall and I had to put my hand against your mouth, because—Jesus—because you were being too loud?”
You tried to open your mouth. You usually have some sort of witty remark. But tonight his hand is trembling a little, and your chest’s too full of ache to joke.
"We can't do that here, sweetheart. I need you to stay quiet for me. Can you do that without my help?"
It’s always like this—a little desperate, a little unhinged. Like you both know it can’t mean what it means and keep doing it anyway. A nightly game of chicken with the truth.
Your legs spread, obscene, filthy, and soaked—giving him just the right view. He ducks down underneath in a flash, tongue swiping out before he does so, the pink flesh needy and hungry. The flutter of his eyelashes as he takes you in and wraps your legs around his face.
And when he pushes his tongue inside you, it’s slow. Not teasing. Not lazy. Like he’s trying to stay—inside you, with you, in the moment.
Your hands are in his hair, your legs wrapped tight around his head, and then—midway through a breath, a moan, a whisper of his name—his hand slides up.
Spreads across your stomach.
Not rough. Not possessive.
Settled.
Just—there.
Like he’s holding a thought.
His thumb traces one slow arc across your skin. Then another. Circling your navel like he’s drawing a map. Or casting a spell. You don’t even register it until his breath stutters.
You freeze—just for a second—but he doesn’t stop moving. Doesn’t stop looking at you, either. You look down and his eyes are dark, wide, wrecked. Like he’s trying to rein it in. Like he’s already failing.
“Jesus,” he murmurs, half-strangled, pulling away from your cunt long enough for you to see the long, shimmering streak that connects his mouth to you. “You’d—fuck, you’d look so perfect like this.”
You blink down at him, too far gone to process. “Like what?”
He doesn’t answer. Just looks at you—like he wants to say it. Like the words are climbing up his throat and he’s fighting to keep them down. He presses a kiss to your thigh instead, then to your core, mouth hot and desperate.
“Sorry,” he breathes. “I just—”
You’re not stupid.
But you are, maybe, willfully stupid. Denial’s easier than everything else. Safer. You pull his head closer instead, scratch at his hair, drag him deeper into your legs feels like you're trying to climb out of your own skin.
Come inside me, come inside me, the thought, intrusive and loud and irrational, echoes in your head, even as he wrenches your first orgasm of the night from you. You watch as he licks up the remnants from between your legs, then the way his tongue darts out to catch the streaks around his stubble.
And you think, with a sense of finality, that you're fucking doomed.
.
It doesn’t help that the rest of the team is starting to notice. Yelena’s not subtle—she’s taken to raising her brows whenever you and Bucky so much as walk in the same direction. Alexei hums under his breath sometimes, low and vaguely ominous, usually something about “strong bloodlines” or “resilient genetics,” just loud enough to make your skin prickle. Even Val, smug and sharp-eyed, had that moment last week where she looked between the two of you, then at the empty supply room, and muttered, “Better not be rearranging furniture in there.”
The thing is—you and him have always been subtle. Always toeing the line but never stepping over.
Except now, lately, that subtlety is starting to unravel. Not in big ways, but in increments. A slip of tone. A lingering look. The way he doesn’t bother disguising the softness in his voice when he says your name. It’s like he’s decided—quietly, firmly, permanently—that you’re it. And he’s just waiting for you to catch up.
It’s in the little things.
He starts carrying gum in his pocket “in case someone’s kid gets antsy on a flight.” He asks if the noise-canceling headphones in your shared gear bag might work for toddlers. He watches you when you pick up a fallen pacifier at a rest stop, eyes going all soft at your hands, like he’s imprinting something in his head he doesn’t quite understand.
Then, during a recon op, he nudges you awake after you dozed off in the back of a surveillance van. “You sleep like a baby,” he says quietly.
You think he means it as a compliment, but your heart flips and your brain short-circuits, and you spend the rest of the mission wondering if he’s trying to tell you something or if you’re going insane.
(You do not, in fact, sleep like a baby. You drooled on the armrest. He said nothing.)
Weeks pass. Missions blur. The baby sightings continue like clockwork. You start to brace for them. For Bucky’s inevitable sighs. For the way his expression slips into something almost wistful.
You’re trained to read microexpressions. He should know this. You see it—the way his jaw softens, the way his shoulders fall just enough to say I want this. Not now, maybe. But someday.
And more terrifying: the way he keeps looking at you. Like you’re part of that someday.
And God—how could he?
How could he look at you like that?
You’re good at the quiet things. The watching, the stitching-up. The banter. The fight, when you have to. But you’ve never known what it means to build something that doesn’t involve exit strategies or a go-bag tucked under the bed.
Bucky… he deserves someone solid. Someone who’s not half a shadow. Who’d instinctively know how to hold a baby without second-guessing. Who’d have a laugh that sounded like Sunday mornings, and hands that were always warm. Someone who could braid a child’s hair without worrying they’d pull too hard. Someone kind. Someone permanent.
Not someone like you.
You’re not sure if he even sees the difference. You’re not sure if he knows he’s dreaming with his eyes open when he looks at you like that.
But you do.
You just pretend it doesn’t mean anything. Because if it does—if he’s looking at you like he already knows, like he’s already chosen—
Well.
You’re not ready for that kind of fallout.
Not yet.
.
The worst—by far—is the petting zoo in Nebraska.
You’re there under completely fabricated cover identities. Something about an eco-terrorist cell operating out of an adjacent farm-to-table cheese shop. You’ve both got sunglasses and fake names and those little earwig communicators that make you feel like you’re in Mission Impossible. You’re trying to be inconspicuous.
But then you pass the small animal enclosure.
There’s a toddler up ahead, perched on her dad’s shoulders like a giggling parrot. She squeals—delighted—at the sight of the baby goats, then gets lowered gently down so she can feed them through the fence. Her little fingers curl around the bars, one of the goats licks her hand, and she lets out a laugh so pure and shrill and untouched by the horrors of modern living that it actually makes your chest hurt.
You don’t even register it at first—just the absence of footsteps beside you. Then you glance back.
He’s standing there, completely still, like he’s been struck by divine intervention. Like that baby goat and that toddler just rewired something deep in his old brain. His expression is unguarded in a way that makes your stomach tilt. Soft and stunned.
He doesn't even pretend to be focused on the mission anymore.
And then—then—he turns to you. The most serious he's ever been. Eyes locked on yours.
“Do you think ours would like goats?”
You nearly choke on your lemonade. Actually choke. You cough once, twice, like your lungs are trying to escape your body. “What?”
And it’s not just the question—it’s the way he says it. Our kid. Not flippant. Not ironic. Not followed by a wink or a smirk or even a shy smile. Just fact.
“I said,” he repeats, casually, clearly, like it’s the most normal thing in the world, “hypothetically, would our kid be into goats.”
You just stare at him. You’ve stopped trying to be cool about this. The number of times he’s said our baby with absolute, unsettling conviction has reached what can only be described as a statistically significant trend.
“I don’t know, Bucky,” you say, rubbing your temples. “I think most hypothetical babies are goat neutral until proven otherwise.”
He hums. Actually hums, like he’s storing that away. “Makes sense. We'll have to test it early. Build a baseline.”
“Stop,” you say, pointing a finger at him like that might restore order to the universe. “You’re not serious.”
His eyes flick to yours. And there’s no twinkle there. No smile. Just this steady, almost stubborn kind of affection—so open it knocks the wind out of you.
"You said I’d be good at it,” he says, voice low, so only you can hear. “The whole dad thing.”
You open your mouth. Then close it. Then open it again like a very confused fish. Because you remember saying it. You remember the patio, the way the baby curled into his chest. The kitchen, the risotto, the late hour and the way he’d talked about braiding Rebecca’s hair. You remember the quiet ache in your chest, the one that’s back now, curling tighter.
And you don’t know what the hell to say. You really don’t. Because he’s looking at you like he’s already imagined the whole damn life and decided it was worth every scar. Like he’s already picked out the parts of himself he wants to give a kid—the kindness, the patience, the rebuilt softness—and buried the rest.
So you make a joke. Mask it. Swallow the quake in your throat and reach for levity like it’s body armor.
“Well, if the goat thing doesn’t work out, we can always try hamsters,” you say. “Low stakes. Contained mess. Give Yelena's little guy a friend.”
The goat bleats behind you. Bucky doesn’t flinch. Just watches you like he's still waiting for an answer—a real answer—that you're not sure how to give.
You move on.
.
It finally breaks in a Target.
Of course it does.
You’re on a supply run for the team. Technically, this is all mission prep and there's assistants for things like this—med supplies, energy bars, razors, weird thermal socks Yelena swears by—but somehow, somewhere between the bottled water and the electrolyte tablets, you and Bucky wander into the wrong aisle.
Not wrong like “accidental.” Wrong like fate’s playing dirty.
Now you’re standing in front of an endcap display you definitely didn’t mean to find, and there it is. Tucked between pastel swaddles and soft-textured washcloths, like a landmine in the wrong aisle—a tiny cotton baby hat, pale blue with little stitched ears.
It’s nothing. Just a hat.
But Bucky’s staring at it like it cracked his ribs open.
“Hey,” you murmur, stepping closer. “You okay?”
He doesn’t answer.
Just reaches out and picks it up. Turns it over in his hands slowly, like it’s something fragile. Like it might vanish if he isn’t cautious enough. His thumb brushes over the tag. He squints at it like he’s trying to make sense of the fibers. His jaw’s set hard, but there’s something in the line of his shoulders—something tired.
“Bucky,” you say again, gentler this time.
He doesn’t look at you. “Did you know their heads are soft?” His voice is quiet. “Babies. Their skulls don’t even come together for a while. You have to be real careful.”
You blink. “Have you… been reading about this?”
He swallows, shrugs. “I don't know. I just—I see stuff. I look it up.” He sets the hat down too fast. It doesn’t bounce. It just flattens there on the shelf like it’s watching him back.
You don’t speak. Neither does he. You just stand there for a second, like the air’s been drained from the aisle.
There’s a baby crying somewhere in another aisle—high-pitched and sputtering. A lull, then a hiccuping wail. A mother murmurs something gentle in response. The sound floats over the shelves and then disappears.
Eventually, you both walk.
Wordless. Past rows of seasonal candy wrapped in rustling orange plastic. Discount school supplies. Travel-sized deodorant and decorative lint rollers. Your cart is still half full, but you don’t look at it. Your eyes keep tracking him instead. His steps are slower than usual, like each one is being dragged out of him. His shoulders slope in that particular way you’ve started to recognize—like he’s still holding that hat in his mind, apprehensive and afraid.
The automatic doors swish open and spill you into the afternoon like you’ve been exiled.
Outside, the parking lot’s too bright. The sun glares off windshields and the pavement radiates that late-summer kind of heat—baked rubber and exhaust fumes and burnt asphalt. A shopping cart wheel squeals in the distance, sharp and whiny. The plastic Target bags crackle like they’re judging you.
You lean against the car. It’s hot through your shirt. The silence settles again—heavier now. Thicker. Like it’s pressing into your ribcage and asking for something neither of you are sure you’re ready to give.
You look at him. Not just glance—look.
He’s standing with his back half-turned, metal hand flexing and unflexing at his side, like he’s trying to let something out but doesn’t trust what’ll happen if he does. His vibranium arm glints in the sunlight—charcoal black veined with gold, all matte finish and unforgiving elegance. It doesn’t belong here, not really. Not in this mundane little parking lot, not against a backdrop of SUVs and clearance bins.
But neither does he.
You let the silence stretch a little longer. Let the heat sweat on your back, the wind tousle your hair, the tension between you wind tighter like thread pulled taut.
Then, finally, like you’re testing a live wire. “What’re you thinking about?”
He breathes in slow. Shaky.
And then, finally, he speaks—voice soft, too soft for someone built to survive war. “Do you have any guesses?”
That’s new.
You blink. Look down at your shoes. Your reflection warps in the car door.
“I don’t want to guess wrong,” you say. Even though you know fully well.
He huffs something between a sigh and a laugh. It’s not bitter. Just… tired. Then he gestures loosely, not at anything in particular. Just out. Broadly. Helplessly.
“We keep running into this,” he says, quieter now. “Not just here. Everywhere. At the grocery store. On recon. That billboard downtown with the giggling baby and the diaper brand we’ll never have enough time to run and grab from the store. That kid last week with the tiny shoes, remember that one?”
You do. You remember too well.
“There was this moment,” he continues, voice cracking, not looking at you yet, “when I saw that kid—and I thought, he’s going to walk into your arms someday. And I realized—I already want that."
He’s pacing now, one hand on his hip, the other dragging through his hair like he’s trying to pull something out of his skull. The sleeve of his hoodie is shoved up to the elbow. His dog tags are visible. His metal hand flexes open and closed like he needs something to grab onto.
“I just couldn't stop thinking about it.” He laughs, breathless and small. “Which is stupid, right? I mean—look at me. Who the hell am I to want something like that?”
“Bucky…” You trail off. Because he deserves it. He deserved all of it and you want to give him everything.
“But this? You?” he says again, shaking his head like he still can’t believe he has to say it out loud. “This isn’t hollow. This is wanting. Real wanting. Not some half-dead echo of need or distraction or—God—forgiveness. I don’t want you because I think you’re gonna fix something in me. Or because I think this’ll be easy. I want you because it’s you.”
His eyes find yours again—steady, burning.
“Because when I think about a future without you in it, it feels wrong. Like my bones know it. Like every damn instinct I’ve got wants to drag me back to wherever you are and just—stay.”
Your throat tightens. He presses on.
“And don’t get it twisted—I see you. I see the way you move through missions. The way you think six steps ahead, the way you take hits like they’re nothing and still check on everyone else first. You’re not some fragile thing I wanna put behind glass. You’re steel. You’re tougher than half the people I’ve fought beside. You don’t need anyone. Hell, you don’t need me.”
He steps forward. Lowers his voice.
“But I want to be needed by you. I want to be the guy who gets to hold you when the world’s too loud. I want us. A home. A baby—maybe two. One of ‘em likes goats. I don't know. Maybe we argue about preschool names and you yell at me for lettin’ them eat cereal off the floor. You're the person I want to be a disaster in front of at 3 a.m. because our hypothetical child won’t sleep unless you sing that dumb Fleetwood Mac song—”
“Fleetwood Mac isn’t dumb.”
“See? That’s exactly the tone you’d use,” he says, as if that proves a point.
You blink hard. Your chest aches in that quiet, painful way reserved for things that are almost too good to believe.
“And I’ve been trying to be subtle,” he says, a rough laugh in his throat. “Pointing at strollers like a moron. Buying those damn pouches with the resealable caps. I kept hopin’ maybe you’d see it. Maybe you’d say somethin’ first. I didn’t wanna scare you off. I know what we’ve been through. What you’ve been through.”
He looks down for a second, then back at you—gentle now, gentler than you’ve ever seen him.
“But I’ll wait. As long as you need. I’m not going anywhere. And if you’re scared? Good. Me too. Means we’re not makin’ this decision with our eyes closed. But don’t pretend it’s not real. Don’t tell me I’m imagining this, because I know what this feels like. I’ve spent too long not feeling anything to mistake this for anything else.”
His vibranium hand curls into a loose fist at his side. Not clenched. Just steady. Anchored.
“I want this. With you. All of it. Even the hard parts. Especially those. I want the missions and the night shifts and the baby who won’t stop crying and the mess and the fear and the way you look at me like I might still be good. I want all of that, and I want it with you.”
And there it is again—that feeling like your ribs are about to crack open from the pressure of it all. From the weight of being seen this clearly. This completely.
You step closer, close enough now that the heat from him leaks into your skin. You stare up at him, eyes burning.
“You really want all that with me?”
He nods. “More than I’ve ever wanted anything.”
“And you’re really not afraid I’ll mess it up?”
His smile is small, pained—like he’s trying to hold it together with fraying thread. “You’ll mess it up. So will I. We’ll accidentally teach them to swear. Maybe we let Alexei babysit and they come back speaking fluent Russian and craving vodka. I’ll still want you. Even when we’re sleep-deprived and overwhelmed and knee-deep in goldfish crackers. Especially then.”
Your voice cracks open without warning. Raw. Bare.
“Bucky—what the hell am I supposed to say to top that?”
“You don’t have to say anything,” he says softly, hand cupping your cheek with the kind of conviction that makes your knees go weak. “Just… don’t walk away. Don’t—God, please—don’t say no. Not to this. Not to me.”
You nuzzle closer into his hand. Your voice, when it comes, is paper thin. “You really think I’d say no to goat-loving, minivan driving Bucky Barnes?”
His mouth twitches. “You making fun of me?”
You smile. You’re shaking a little. “Only a little.”
He laughs, and it’s a real one—wet around the edges, but honest.
And that—God. That lands like a sucker punch.
You take a breath. Step closer. Your heart is a drumbeat in your ears but your voice—your voice is iron and sunrise. “Okay. Let’s say, hypothetically, we make our first one now. What then?”
Bucky’s entire body stills.
Like he’s been hit center mass—not by a bullet, but by possibility. Like your words cracked open a vault somewhere deep in him and he’s still trying to process what came out. His breath hitches. His brows lift just slightly. You can almost see it—each implication of what you just said unfurling in real time: first one, meaning more than one. Meaning permanence. Meaning forever.
His eyes go wide—like, really wide. Like he’s just been handed the Infinity Gauntlet and told to babysit it. His mouth opens, then closes again. Then opens. A soft, stunned “Now?” escapes.
You nod, never been more sure of anything in your life. “Yes. Now.”
And it’s like a switch flips. Whatever gears were turning in his head just snap into place, and then he’s grabbing you—gently, desperately—and kissing you like he hasn't kissed you thousands of times before. It’s all hands and breath and something that tastes like joy, wild and uncontainable. You laugh into it, half-giddy, half-overwhelmed, and then someone leans out of a passing minivan and honks.
You both jump. Bucky flips the guy off without looking. “Keep driving, asshole!”
You’re laughing so hard your ribs hurt, and you have to clutch his arm just to stay upright. He looks at you like you’ve personally realigned his entire future.
Then it’s a race. You barely make it through the parking lot without tripping over yourselves, bumping shoulders and brushing hands and laughing like lunatics. Bucky opens the car door for you like he’s being timed for a rescue op, and the moment your ass hits the passenger seat, his hand is on your thigh—firm, possessive, fingers warm even through the denim.
He doesn’t even pretend to drive normally. The car peels out like you’re being chased, tires screeching as he swerves onto the freeway with all the caution of a man on fire.
His other hand clenches the wheel, knuckles pale. “You sure you’re not gonna regret it?” he asks, voice low, like it’s been scraped out of him. Like he’s terrified this is a dream and one wrong word will wake him up.
You glance over. He’s flushed down to his collar, eyes flicking from the road to your face and back like he can’t decide which is more dangerous. You’re smiling so wide it hurts your cheeks.
“If you keep asking questions like that,” you murmur, “I might pull you over and climb on top of you right here.”
He chokes. Visibly swerves. “You—you’re not joking.”
“I am, Bucky. We're at a fucking Target.”
He lets out a groan like it physically pains him. “You’re evil.”
You lean your head back against the seat, breathless with laughter. But then you glance sideways and—yeah. That look on his face? That’s love. That’s a man about to commit several felonies in your name.
“I’m gonna treat you so fuckin’ good,” he mutters, almost to himself. “Gonna make you feel safe and spoiled and full of me. Gonna worship you every damn night. You don’t even know.”
“Oh, I know,” you say, suddenly a little breathless. His grip on your thigh tightens, just for a second.
His foot presses harder on the gas.
The car hums like it’s picking up on the tension. Bucky’s jaw is set, eyes dark, every red light a personal affront to his timeline. At one point he actually mutters “no” at a yellow light and runs it anyway. Another person flips both of you off until they squint and see who's in the car. Bucky doesn’t blink.
When the Watchtower finally comes into view, he exhales like he’s just crossed a finish line. The tires screech again as he parks, but you barely register it. Because the second the engine cuts, he turns to you, all flushed cheeks and unholy devotion, and whispers, “Upstairs. Now.”
And then—
He lifts you like it’s muscle memory, like your body belongs there, bracketed against him. Your legs wrap around his waist. Somehow, some way, he finds the bedroom with barely a glance, kicks the door shut behind him, and lays you down like you’re breakable.
Not fragile. Important.
He hovers above you for a beat, breath uneven, gaze raking over your face like it’s the first time he’s really let himself look. Like he’s memorizing this—just in case the world tilts sideways again.
He bends down, his voice rasping against your mouth. “You still sure about this?”
You pull him back to you by the waistband of his jeans. “I said I wanted all of it. The house. The minivans. The goats. I meant it.”
Something in him loosens. Not all the way, not yet—but enough to soften his edges. He exhales through his nose and kisses you like it’s a vow, mouth warm and open and aching. His hands find your thighs, settle there like they’ve always known the shape of you. Thumbs brushing slow circles like he’s grounding himself on your skin.
You kiss him back with everything you’ve got, fingers fisting in the fabric of his shirt—and when you tug, it’s not subtle.
And you tug at his shirt again. “Bucky—”
“No, just—let me—” He peels it off over his head in one fluid motion, and fuck. You’ve seen him shirtless before. Dozens of times. Training sessions. Medical checks. Casual Sundays in sweatpants.
But not with the full breadth of him laid bare, chest heaving, dog tags glinting faintly in the low light. Thick, ropey muscle, that deep ridge where his hip cuts in and disappears under the waistband of his jeans. He’s massive. Bigger than you can ever brace for. Every inch of him looks carved from the kind of strength that short-circuits your higher brain function.
And it hits you, all at once, how strong he really is.
Not just tactical, not just capable—but superhuman. The kind of strength that could lift a car or crush a man’s throat or pick you up like you weigh nothing. You’ve felt it before—in combat, in sparring, in those accidental brushes where he’d catch your wrist or hoist you clear of an explosion.
You’re trying to keep it together—you are—but then he grins. That slow, crooked, devastating thing like he knows exactly what he’s doing to you. “You’re staring,” he murmurs, voice gone husky with amusement.
You shoot back, “So are you.”
“Yeah,” he says, and steps in, close enough that his chest brushes yours, heat radiating off him like a furnace. “Difference is, I’m about to do something about it.”
Your mouth goes dry. Your brain attempts a witty reply and fails spectacularly. So you shove at his shoulder with mock offense, and he grabs your wrists—gently, easily—and pins them to the mattress above your head.
Oh.
It’s nothing. No pressure, no real force. But it reminds you. Reminds you exactly what he’s capable of. How easily he could break you. How he never has.
“Could hold you like this forever,” he murmurs. “You’d let me, wouldn’t you?”
You squirm beneath him, flushed and wrecked and undone.
“You’re so goddamn beautiful,” he breathes, dragging his nose down your throat. “I could carry you around all day. Pick you up, fuck you against a wall, against a table, hell, the fridge, if I wanted.”
You gasp, and his grip tightens—just enough to feel it.
"I need to get you ready first," He pulls back slightly, meets your eyes. “That okay?”
You nod. Hard. “Yes. Fuck, yes.”
His stubble rubs along your neck, your collarbones, until he pauses at your chest, nuzzling one of your nipples with his eyes closed. His tongue darts out, sucking and pulling at the sensitive muscle, more for his sake than for yours.
There's a graze of his teeth—then, his other hand comes to meet your other breast, ever the multi-tasker. He murmurs your name, once, twice, the sound vibrating low against your skin.
You don't know how long he stays like that, in that blissful purgatory, his leg, between your legs, just barely giving you the stimulation you need, until his mouth, his beautiful, beautiful mouth, gets faster, more greedy, and the leg you're grinding against pushes deeper against you—
"Come for me, sweetheart."
It's like fucking fireworks. You cum with a groan, eyes closed shut, whining low and deep and overwhelmed.
When you come to, vision returning to you in hazes, you look at him through fluttering lashes, the way he strokes his cock in front of you. Painfully hard, red, and weeping, but it's his words that make you short-circuit next.
“You’re gonna let me put a baby in you, huh?”
Your breath catches.
He kisses you before you can answer—deep and consuming and hungry—and when he pulls back, there’s a look in his eyes you’ve never seen before. Something molten. Something fierce.
“Been thinkin’ about something else too,” he confesses, dragging his mouth along your jaw. “You, round with my kid. All soft and happy. Maybe bossin’ me around with that look you get when you’re pretending not to care.”
The words stick—and it's all the warning you get before he's slotting his cock in between your cunt, slipping inside of you.
His hand settles on your stomach, low and possessive. He presses his palm there like he’s already claiming it. Like he’s asking permission to fill it. You can feel it, the pressure delicious, as his thrusts get messier, less controlled. The room's filled with the sound of it, groaning and snapping and skin slapping together.
“I’ll be good,” he says, voice cracking. “I’ll be so good. You’ll never have to lift a finger. I’ll make breakfast. I’ll learn lullabies. I’ll paint the damn nursery if you want me to.”
You moan, high and helpless. “Keep talking.”
He thrusts—deep, slow, intentional. “I’ll hold your hand through the appointments. Rub your back when it hurts. Run to the store at 3 a.m. for pickles, or chocolate, or whatever the hell you need—”
Then, his hand–the metal one—moves between you, lower and lower until his thumb's hovering right over your clit, pinching and squeezing and rolling it, and you have to fight every cell inside of you not to cum right then and there, even while he's looking at you and saying everything so, so goddamn perfectly.
You clench around him, once, twice, like a vice grip that's desperate for him to feel just the way he makes you feel.
“Jesus,” he breathes. “You’re so—fuck, I just wanna—” He shakes his head, then mutters against your collarbone, “Don't do that, not yet, I'll cum."
“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” you whisper. "I just wanna–oh god—show you how thankful I am."
His hips rock against yours.
“You wanna thank me?” he pants, jaw trembling as he fights to hold on. “Then do it with an ultrasound. Let me hear it. Let me see it.”
You whimper, wrecked by the words alone.
“Say it,” he demands, but softer now. Frantic and obsessed. “Tell me you want it too. Tell me you want to keep me forever.”
“I do,” you gasp. “I do—God, Bucky, I do—”
Then he shifts, pushing himself deeper inside, and one brutal thrust later, raking his hands across your abdomen, you gasp. Shuddering, shaking like a leaf, finishing in his arms so hard that you nearly twist out of his grasp.
Seconds later, Bucky spills into you, and you can feel the precise moment he throbs inside you, warmth filling you up, up, up, and you can fill the drip of his cum spilling out from the sheer volume of it. You've never felt so full.
When you try to get up, he stops you with a gentle pull against your waist. He buries his face in your neck. “Need you to stay still,” he growls, words slurred, “make sure it takes.”
And who were you to say no to that?
You're tangled up in him, hours later. Or maybe minutes. Time’s a blur. The sheets are kicked halfway down the bed, your leg slung over his hip, the air still thick with heat and something heavier. Sweeter. Like gravity finally decided to show up and drag you straight into the future.
Bucky’s arm is around your waist, metal plates cool against your damp skin, the weight of him grounding. He’s curled slightly, head bowed like he can’t stop looking at you. His fingers draw mindless, absent circles on your belly—like the thought never left him. Like it’s only just beginning.
Neither of you says anything for a long time.
And then, quietly, “You okay?”
You nod, not trusting your voice. Your heart’s still hammering like a warning bell and a love song. “You?”
He huffs a laugh into your shoulder. Presses a kiss there. Then another, softer. His voice is hoarse when he finally answers. “I’ve never been this okay.”
There’s a pause. You don’t fill it. You just watch as his thumb drags slow and soft across your stomach again, like he’s memorizing the shape of possibility.
“I can see it,” he murmurs. “Not just a kid. Our kid. One that frowns like you and kicks like me. One who’s smart, and stubborn, and throws food at Walker's head during holidays.”
You snort softly. “You think we’d raise a kid that obnoxious?”
His grin is lazy and real, eyes bright with something so big it makes your chest ache. “I hope so.”
You stare at the ceiling for a beat. Let the words sink in. Let the idea grow legs.
Then you roll closer, press your palm over the hand that’s still stroking your belly.
You whisper it this time. Fragile. Hopeful. “You think this’ll do it?”
Bucky shudders—actually shudders—and shifts to kiss your jaw, your cheek, your mouth like it’s a prayer.
“Sweetheart,” he says, low and wrecked, “I’ll do it again. And again. All night, if that’s what it takes.”
You don’t hear it all at once. It comes in fragments, in passing whispers that you almost ignore until one name pulls everything into focus.
“—Sectumsempra—”
“—blood everywhere—”
“—Malfoy’s in the hospital wing—”
“—something wrong with his memory—”
Your heart drops so violently it feels like you’ve missed a step on a staircase, and before you’ve even processed the rest, you’re already moving, pushing past people in the corridor, ignoring the annoyed looks and muttered complaints. None of it matters. Only one thing does.
Draco.
By the time you reach the hospital wing, your breathing is uneven and your hands are trembling, though you’re not sure whether it’s from the running or the fear clawing its way up your throat. You slow just before entering, instinctively, as if part of you already knows that whatever waits inside will change everything.
Madam Pomfrey’s voice reaches you before you see her, low and tense in a way you’ve never heard before. “The physical wounds are healing well, but the spell, combined with the shock, has affected his mind. Memory loss is not uncommon in cases like this, but I cannot say how extensive it is or whether it will return fully.”
You feel cold all at once.
“…he may not remember certain people,” she continues, and something inside you fractures quietly, irreversibly.
You don’t wait to hear more. You step inside.
He’s lying there, pale even by his standards, bandages stark against his skin, his hair slightly dishevelled in a way that would have annoyed him before. For a moment, relief floods you simply because he’s alive, because he’s breathing, because he’s still here. You move closer without thinking, drawn to him in that way you always have been, your fingers lifting as if to take his hand.
“Don’t.”
The word is sharp enough to make you flinch, you freeze. His eyes are open, fixed on you with a cold, assessing look that you haven’t seen in months, not since before everything between you changed.
“Who are you?” he asks, his voice flat, almost irritated.
It shouldn’t hurt this much. You knew, you heard what Pomfrey said, you prepared yourself as much as anyone could, but nothing prepares you for the complete absence of recognition in his gaze.
“It’s me,” you say, and even to your own ears, your voice sounds fragile.
His frown deepens, and when you instinctively reach again, he pulls his hand away as if your touch is something unpleasant. “That doesn’t answer the question.”
Your throat tightens. You want to say it—you want to tell him everything, remind him, force the truth back into place—but the way he’s looking at you makes the words die before they can form.
“I’m just someone from school,” you manage instead.
He studies you for a moment longer, something flickering behind his eyes, and for a split second, you think—hope—that something might surface.
But then his expression shifts into something all too familiar.
“Right,” he says slowly. “You’re that half-blood.”
It feels like being struck.
You don’t remember leaving the hospital wing, only that you’re suddenly in the corridor again, the noise of students washing over you as if nothing has changed, as if your world hasn’t just tilted off its axis.
The days that follow are worse in a quieter way.
You don’t go back to see him. You tell yourself it’s because he needs time, because forcing yourself into his life when he doesn’t remember you would only make things harder, but the truth is simpler and far more painful: you can’t bear the way he looked at you.
Still, you hear about him constantly. You can’t escape it.
“He’s basically the same as before,” someone says near you in the Great Hall.
“Honestly, it’s like the past year never happened,” another adds.
“He called a Hufflepuff girl ‘filthy’ yesterday, proper Malfoy again.”
You sit there, staring down at your untouched plate, the words echoing in your mind.
Proper Malfoy.
As if the version of him who laughed with you in quiet corners, who hesitated before taking your hand in public but did it anyway, who whispered confessions into your hair late at night—that version had never really existed. The first time he directs it at you, you think you’re prepared; spoiler alert, you're not !
You nearly walk into him in the corridor, your thoughts too loud, your awareness too dulled, and you step back quickly. “Sorry.”
He looks at you with that same detached irritation. “Watch where you’re going.”
There’s a moment—a small, fragile pause—where something in his gaze lingers, like recognition trying to break through.
Then it vanishes.
“Honestly,” he mutters, his lip curling slightly, “you’d think half-bloods would at least try not to be completely insufferable.”
The words are precise, practiced, like they’ve been worn smooth from repetition.
You nod once, because anything else might break you open right there in the hallway. “Right.”
And you walk away.
He doesn’t see the way your hands shake, but something unsettles him all the same. He can’t name it, only that there’s a strange, unwelcome tightness in his chest that lingers long after you’ve gone.
Sleep becomes something distant, something you can’t quite reach no matter how exhausted you feel. Every time you close your eyes, memories press in too close, too vivid: his voice softer than anyone else ever hears it; the careful way he used to hold you; the quiet confession he once made like it cost him everything: “I don’t believe any of it when I’m with you.” Now he does. And he doesn’t even know what he’s lost.
It’s what drives you to the Astronomy Tower, night after night, because it’s the only place that feels far enough away from everything else, from everyone who looks at you like you’re imagining things when you say he used to be different.
You sit on the cold stone, pulling your knees in, pressing your sleeve against your mouth to muffle the sound as your composure finally cracks. You try to be quiet, as if that might make it hurt less, but the tears come anyway, slow and steady.
You don’t hear the door open behind you.
Draco doesn’t expect anyone to be there. The tower has always been his place, even if he can’t fully explain why, just that something about it feels familiar, grounding.
So when he sees you there, curled in on yourself, shoulders trembling, something inside him shifts uncomfortably.
“…What’s wrong, half-breed?” he asks, the insult automatic, a shield he doesn’t even realise he’s using.
You go still before slowly straightening, wiping at your face as you stand. When you turn, your expression is composed, almost cold, but your eyes betray you.
“Nothing, Malfoy.”
Your voice is distant, stripped of anything soft, and the absence of it unsettles him more than your tears did.
You brush past him, your shoulder knocking lightly against his. “Move.”
He does, almost instinctively, and you disappear down the staircase without another word.
He remains where he is, staring at the space you left behind, a strange, unfamiliar ache settling in his chest.
That wasn’t right.
None of that felt right.
The feeling doesn’t go away.
If anything, it worsens.
He starts noticing you without meaning to, drawn to you in ways that irritate him because they make no sense. He watches you laugh with others and feels something sharp twist inside him, hears your voice across a room and finds himself listening for it without understanding why.
And every time he says something cruel, every time he leans into the version of himself that feels expected, something in him recoils afterward, leaving behind a hollow discomfort he can’t shake.
It comes in flashes, too brief to grasp—laughter that doesn’t feel mocking, a voice that sounds like yours but softer, closer, saying his name like it matters. The images vanish before he can fully see them, leaving only the impression that they were important.
That he’s missing something.
That he’s missing someone.
When he finds you at the Astronomy Tower again, it feels inevitable.
You don’t turn this time when he approaches, as if you’ve already decided he isn’t worth acknowledging.
“Why do you keep coming here?” he asks, though the question feels strange even as he says it, as if he’s intruding on something that used to belong to both of you.
“It’s none of your business,” you reply quietly.
He steps closer despite himself. “You’re crying again.”
“I’m not.”
“You are.”
You let out a hollow laugh, shaking your head slightly. “Brilliant observation.”
Something in your tone—flat, tired, devoid of anything that once might have been warmth—grates against him.
“Did someone—”
“Stop,” you cut in, turning sharply to face him. “Just stop pretending like you care.”
The accusation lands harder than he expects, and he falters. “I don’t—”
“Exactly,” you say, your voice cracking despite your effort to keep it steady. “You don’t.”
Silence falls between you, heavy and suffocating.
“You used to,” you whisper before you can stop yourself.
He stiffens. “…What?”
You shake your head, already regretting it. “Forget it.”
“No,” he says, more firmly now, stepping closer. “You don’t get to say that and then walk away. What did you mean?”
You let out a shaky breath, the fight draining out of you all at once. “We were together.”
The words hang there, impossible to take back.
He stares at you, disbelief etched into every line of his face. “That’s not possible.”
“Because I’m a half-blood?” you ask quietly.
He doesn’t answer, and the silence is louder than any insult.
You nod once, tears slipping free. “Right.”
You turn to leave, needing distance before you break completely, but this time his hand closes around your wrist, stopping you.
The touch is hesitant, almost unsure, as if even he doesn’t fully understand why he’s doing it.
“I don’t understand,” he says, his voice lower now, stripped of its earlier sharpness.
“Join the club.”
“No,” he insists, his grip tightening just slightly. “I mean… I don’t understand why this feels like I’m losing something I don’t even remember having.”
Your breath catches.
“Because you are,” you whisper.
He goes still, something shifting behind his eyes as another fragment surfaces; your hand in his, your head resting against his shoulder, a quiet moment that feels more real than anything else he can recall.
“I don’t remember you,” he admits, the words rough.
“I know.”
“But I remember… how it felt,” he continues, his gaze searching yours. “Or at least...something like it.”
Your chest aches. “That’s not the same.”
“No,” he agrees softly. “It isn’t.”
There’s a pause, fragile and uncertain, before he lifts his free hand and hesitates, as if asking permission without words, before brushing a tear from your cheek.
The touch is gentle, instinctive.
Familiar.
“I want to,” he says quietly. “I want to remember. Or… feel it again.” He said it such a childlike voice, unsure and hesitant to rebel against his pureblooded beliefs for the second time.
Your heart stutters painfully at that.
“You hurt me,” you whisper.
“I know.”
“You forgot me.”
“I didn’t choose to.”
“That doesn’t make it easier.”
“I know,” he says again, but this time it doesn’t feel empty. It feels like something he means, even if he doesn’t fully understand why.
You don’t realise how close you’ve moved until there’s barely any space left between you, the tension thick, fragile, ready to shatter.
“I don’t remember loving you,” he says, his voice barely above a breath.
"But I think I still do,” he adds.
Everything in you stills. The kiss that follows is hesitant, uncertain, like stepping onto unfamiliar ground that somehow feels known all the same. It’s not the same as before (you can feel that)b ut there’s something there, something real, something that lingers even as memory fails.
When he pulls back, his forehead rests lightly against yours, his breath unsteady.
“I’m sorry,” he murmurs.
You close your eyes, letting the words settle.
“I know.”
And for the first time since you heard his name whispered in the corridor...it doesn’t feel like the end.
Bucky Barnes x reader (cuddle for warmth, friends to lovers)
Snow wasn’t supposed to be part of the mission. Switzerland, yes, mountains, altitude, a little cold, but not this. Not a storm that swallowed the sky whole and turned the world into nothing but blinding white. You could barely even see ten feet ahead of you, your breath sharp in your lungs as the freezing wind cut through every layer you had. “Visibility’s gone,” you called, though it felt useless; the storm seemed louder than your voice.
Ahead, Bucky didn’t stop immediately. He rarely did. He just kept moving, steady and relentless, like he could outwalk the weather itself. Then, finally, he turned, eyes narrowing slightly as he took in the conditions. The wind tearing at his clothes.
“We keep moving,” he said.
“And walk straight off a cliff?” you shot back, your patience thinning with the temperature. “We need shelter.”
There was a pause, brief, but telling. Bucky wasn’t used to stopping. But even he could see it now; the storm had turned too dangerous to carry on.
“…Fine,” he said. “We find cover.”
That was as close to agreement as you ever got.
The cold crept in slowly at first, almost unnoticeable beneath the adrenaline. Then it settled deeper; first it spread into your fingers, then your legs, then your chest, until finally every step felt heavier than the last. You stumbled once, your boot catching in the snow, and before you could even react, Bucky’s hand was on your arm, steadying you.
“Focus,” he said.
“I am,” you muttered, though your voice lacked its usual bite. “I just can’t feel my hands.”
His grip tightened for a second, not that you could feel it. “Stay close.”
You didn’t argue.
That alone would’ve surprised him, if he’d had the energy to think about it.
The cabin appeared like something unreal: half-buried in snow, tucked between the trees like it had been waiting for you. You almost thought you’d imagined it until Bucky reached it first, forcing the door open against the wind.
Inside, the silence hit just as hard as the storm. No warmth. No fire. Just still, frozen air, but hey, it was shelter, and that was more than enough.
You stumbled in after him, shutting the door quickly, cutting off the roar of the wind. For a moment, neither of you spoke. You just stood there, catching your breath, the quiet settling heavy between you.
“…We got lucky,” you said eventually.
“We don’t rely on luck,” he replied automatically, already scanning the room.
You almost smiled at that, but it faded quickly as another shiver ran through you, stronger this time, harder to ignore.
Bucky noticed immediately; it was hard to miss the aggressive shakes coming from your body.
“You’re shaking.”
“I’m fine.”
“You’re not.”
“I said—” Your voice caught slightly, betraying you, “—I’m fine.”
He stepped closer then, his gaze sharper now, more focused on you than the room. “You’re freezing.”
You let out a weak breath that might’ve been a laugh. “We’re in a snowstorm, Barnes. What gave it away?”
But he didn’t react to the sarcasm this time. His attention dropped briefly to your hands, your posture, and the way you tried (and failed) to balance your weight.
“…We need heat,” he said.
“There’s nothing here,” you replied. “No firewood, no power.”
A beat passed.
"Then we share body heat.”
You blinked, caught off guard. “…Seriously?”
“It’s survival,” he said simply. “Hypothermia doesn’t wait.”
You knew that. You did. Still, you hesitated.
“We don’t have to talk,” he added, softer now. “Just...stay warm.”
Something about that made it easier to nod.
“…Fine.”
At first, it was awkward. You sat beside each other, close but not quite touching, like there was still some invisible boundary neither of you had crossed before. But then another shiver hit you, sharp and uncontrollable, and Bucky didn’t hesitate anymore.
He moved closer, one arm pulling you in until your side pressed against his chest. His hold was firm, steady, and grounding in a way that surprised you. You tensed for half a second but didn’t pull away; the heat coming from him was too nice to reject.
“This is weird,” you muttered.
“Yeah,” he agreed quietly.
But neither of you moved.
"How are you so freaking warm? Curse that super serum," you grumbled under your breath, feeling a silent huff escape Bucky.
The warmth came slowly, seeping through layers, through hesitation, through whatever distance had always existed between you. Your breathing steadied first, then your hands stopped shaking so violently. At some point, your head ended up resting against his shoulder - you weren’t sure when, and he didn’t comment on it.
“You're a stubborn ass,” he said after a while, his voice low in the quiet.
You frowned slightly. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means you don’t stop, even when you should.”
You tilted your head just enough to glance at him. “And you do?”
“This isn't about me.”
His grip tightened slightly, not enough to hurt, just enough to be felt. The silence that followed wasn’t uncomfortable anymore. It felt… full. Different, even. Like something had shifted without either of you saying it outright.
“You could’ve left me,” you said eventually, your voice softer now.
His response was immediate. “No.”
“You didn’t even think about it.”
“I don’t leave people behind.”
You exhaled slowly. “You left Clint behind on the last mission; why do you think I'm here and he isn't. ”
His gaze dropped to you then, something unreadable flickering there.
“Because you're one of the few people who isn't cautious around me, who makes me feel like I can be myself," he said.
You didn’t know what to do with that, so you didn’t try. You just stayed there, letting the warmth settle deeper, letting the moment stretch a little longer than it probably should have.
By the time the storm began to quiet outside, the distance between you was gone. Not just physically, something had changed
When you finally pulled away, it felt wrong. Too cold. Too empty.
Neither of you moved toward the door right away.
Because stepping outside meant going back to the silence, to distance, to whatever this had been before.
And for the first time since you’d met Bucky Barnes, neither of you seemed ready for that.
The field had always felt like something out of a dream.
It stretched endlessly, a sea of soft colour; lavenders, whites, and yellows swaying gently beneath a warm, honeyed sky. You lay on your back in the middle of it, fingers threaded lazily through the stems, the scent of summer thick and sweet in the air.
Beside you, Fred Weasley was unusually quiet.
That should’ve been your first clue.
You turned your head slightly, watching him from the corner of your eye. “You’re thinking,” you said.
He scoffed. “I always think.”
“Not like this,” you teased. “This is dangerous thinking. This is ‘Fred Weasley is about to do something ridiculous’ thinking.”
He grinned at that, rolling onto his side to face you. “You wound me.”
“I know you,” you replied simply.
For a moment, neither of you spoke. The wind whispered through the flowers, brushing against your skin, lifting strands of your hair across your face. Fred reached out absentmindedly, tucking them behind your ear, his fingers lingering just a second longer than necessary.
It made your chest tighten, just a little.
“You ever think about it?” he asked suddenly.
“Think about what?”
“The future,” he said. “After all this.”
You huffed softly, staring up at the sky again. “Constantly. It’s how I survive all this.”
He nodded, gaze tracing your features like he was memorising them. “Yeah. Me too.”
A pause.
Then, before you could ask anything else, he sat up abruptly, pushing himself onto one knee.
You blinked.
“…Fred?”
He ran a hand through his hair, suddenly looking far less composed than you’d ever seen him. “Right. Okay. So - hypothetically - ”
You were already laughing. “Oh no.”
“Don’t laugh,” he said, though his lips twitched. “This is serious.”
“You’re kneeling in a field of flowers saying ‘hypothetically,’ Fred, I physically cannot take you seriously right now.”
“Just, give me a second, yeah?”
You sat up too, propping yourself up on your hands, watching him with a soft, amused expression.
He took a breath.
Then another.
“Marry me.”
Silence.
The wind seemed to still. The world narrowed to just him, his freckled, earnest eyes brighter than you’d ever seen them, like this moment mattered more than anything.
Your heart stumbled.
“…Fred.”
“I know,” he rushed. “Timing is...objectively terrible. There’s a war, and we’re both a bit preoccupied with not dying, and I don’t even have a proper ring—though I could make one, actually, George and I—”
You reached out, grabbing his hand.
He stopped immediately.
You were smiling, but your eyes were shining with something deeper beneath the teasing.
“Silly idiot,” you murmured.
His expression faltered. “That’s not exactly the response I was-”
“I’ll marry you,” you said softly.
He froze.
“Just… after the war,” you added, squeezing his hand. “When everything’s over. When we actually get a future to start.”
Hope flickered across his face.
“Yeah?” he asked quietly.
“Yeah,” you whispered. “After the war.”
He let out a breath, something almost disbelieving, before breaking into a grin so wide it made your chest ache.
“Brilliant,” he said, dropping down beside you again, pulling you into him. “That gives me time to plan a proper proposal. This one was clearly lacking.”
“Oh, absolutely terrible,” you agreed, resting your head against his shoulder. “No ring, no speech, very disappointing. Solid 3/10 I reckon.”
“Oi,” he nudged you. “I said ‘marry me.’ Straight to the point. Efficient.”
“Romantic as ever.”
He pressed a quick kiss to your temple. “You love it.”
“I do.”
You lay there together as the sun dipped lower, painting the sky in soft gold and rose. His fingers intertwined with yours, warm and certain, like a promise neither of you doubted.
The future felt real there.
Possible.
Yours.
But they never got their happy ending.
Because when the war came, it took more than it gave.
And in the end, death did them part.
And when she visited that same field years later, she found it dead, decayed. As if Fred took all the joy and beauty of this world with him.
Bucky Barnes x Reader
Blurb : You photograph the aftermath. He prevents the next one.
Bucky Barnes has always been protective — maybe too much so. You just thought it was love. But the lines between devotion and darkness blur when your work starts colliding with his secrets.
Tropes: dark romance, secret identity, moral ambiguity, lovers and liars, “I’d burn the world for you”, angst with tenderness, power couple energy
He watches you from the kitchen doorway as you scrub the smell of another night’s work off your hands, the faint trace of metallic tang that never seems to wash away. You look tired, your smile weaker than it used to be, but when you lift your camera bag and glance up at him, that soft spark lights again behind your eyes.
“Rough night?” he asks.
You hum an answer, trying not to think about the scene; about the alleyway, the blood, the victim’s watch still ticking. “They’re getting bolder,” you mutter, “like they don’t even care anymore.”
Bucky’s jaw flexes. They. You always say it like that.
And every time, something darker coils in his chest, the thought that he could stop them, that he has.
He steps closer, pressing a kiss to your temple. “You shouldn’t have to see things like that.”
You laugh softly, hollow but sweet. “Someone’s gotta make sense of the mess.”
If only you knew how many messes he’d already cleaned up for you.
Later that night, you develop photos in the dim red light of your home studio, unaware that Bucky’s gone. The faint click of your camera shutter echoes through the room, rhythmic, familiar, comforting.
But across the city, he moves through the dark like a ghost.
He knows the name of the man who hurt that girl in your latest case. He knows where he hides, what he’s done, what he’ll do again if someone doesn’t intervene.
He doesn’t think about what happens after. Only that you’ll sleep easier knowing justice is served.
When he returns, the first thing he hears is the gentle hum of your music, the faint laughter spilling from your lips as you talk to yourself about the perfect shot. He leans against the doorway again, watching; that same camera that captures tragedy now aimed at a vase of flowers, light streaming in just right.
“You’re home late,” you tease, turning to him. “Out saving the world?”
“Something like that,” he says.
You cross the room, slip your hands into his. They’re warm — warmer than they should be. “You’re shaking,” you whisper. “Everything okay?”
He looks down at you, guilt and longing at war in his eyes. “I just—sometimes I wish I could take it all away for you.”
You smile, leaning up to kiss him. “You already do.”
And in that moment, he decides not to tell you. Not about the men who won’t be found, the names that won’t reach your crime scenes.
Because love, to him, has always been something worth sinning for.
John “Soap” MacTavish x reader
Blurb : You never meant for the one night to happen. But when an undercover op forces you and Soap to play the part of a married couple—just weeks after you discover you’re pregnant—it becomes harder to keep the line between pretend and reality. Especially when Soap’s easy grin fades to something sharper, more dangerous, every time another man looks your way.
You’d sworn to yourself that the one night meant nothing.
Alcohol, adrenaline, and Soap’s maddening smirk—that’s all it was. At least, that’s what you’ve told yourself every night since. But the faint sickness in the mornings and the test hidden in the bottom of your rucksack told you otherwise.
Pregnant.
With Soap’s child.
And he had no idea.
When Laswell pulled you into the briefing room and laid out the assignment, your stomach plummeted. Deep cover, infiltrating a trafficking syndicate suspected of supplying arms to Makarov’s network. Easy enough—except your entry was through a “married couple” persona. And the “husband” chosen for you?
Soap.
You glanced at him across the table, his grin already tugging at the corner of his mouth as if he found the whole thing amusing.
“Guess we’re takin’ the honeymoon before the weddin’, aye?” he quipped, elbow nudging you lightly.
Your throat tightened. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
He wasn’t.
The first days undercover weren’t unbearable. Soap played the part of doting husband far too well, his arm slung across your shoulders, his hand sliding to your lower back in crowded rooms. Every time he did it, your pulse betrayed you.
But his affection wasn’t confined to the job. It lingered, even when you weren’t in public. When the mission-day ended, he’d still toss himself on the hotel bed beside you, legs brushing yours, fingers drumming against your wrist like he had every right to touch you.
And then there was the jealousy.
The first time you noticed, it was small. A target associate leaned too close at a dinner, his hand ghosting over yours while pouring wine. Soap’s jaw tightened, his smile all teeth. Later, when you returned to your room, his words were edged steel.
“You enjoy lettin’ him paw at you like that?”
Your head snapped up. “It was for the cover, Johnny. You know that.”
He stepped closer, chest brushing yours, voice dropping low. “Cover or not, he touches you again, I’ll break his fuckin’ hand.”
You should’ve laughed. Should’ve told him he was being ridiculous. But the heat in his eyes pinned you, and something inside you twisted—fear, desire, guilt, all tangled together.
The mission dragged on. Nights blurred into mornings, tension coiling tighter. Soap’s protectiveness grew sharper, more possessive, until it wasn’t just about cover anymore. He watched you too closely, pulled you too near, spoke too harshly when someone else so much as glanced your way.
And you—damn it, you let him. Because when his hand closed around yours in public, it wasn’t just acting anymore. Because every time he called you “wife,” some traitorous part of you wished it were real.
But you couldn’t tell him. Not when the truth—the baby—would unravel everything.
Until the night you snapped.
You’d just returned from a meeting, Soap storming ahead, his shoulders wound tight.
“You were laughin’ with him,” he muttered, accent thick with restrained anger. “Laughin’ like he was—” He cut himself off, fists flexing.
“Jesus, Soap, it was a mission dinner. I wasn’t exactly swooning into his lap!”
He turned then, eyes burning. “Aye, but you could’ve fooled me.”
You froze, chest tightening. “What is your problem?”
“My problem—” He stalked closer, voice raw. “—is that I can’t stand watchin’ anyone else touch what’s mine.”
Silence. The words hung heavy in the air.
Your breath stuttered, heart hammering. “Yours?”
His chest rose and fell, his usual bravado stripped away. “Aye. Mine. Always fuckin’ has been.”
For a moment, you couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t think. And then it spilled out—the truth you’d been holding, trembling on your lips.
“Johnny… I’m pregnant.”
The world went still. His expression flickered, shock, disbelief, then something darker, deeper, breaking through.
“…mine?” His voice cracked.
You nodded, tears burning your eyes. “Yours.”
And for the first time, Soap didn’t smile. He just stepped forward, gathering you against his chest with a desperation that stole the air from your lungs.
“Jesus Christ, lass,” he whispered into your hair, voice shaking. “You should’ve told me.”
Your hands were fisted in his shirt, clinging like the world was about to collapse. “I didn’t know how.”
He pulled back just enough to meet your gaze, eyes fierce and tender all at once. “You think I’d ever let you go through this alone? You think I wouldn’t tear the fuckin’ world apart for you?”
And in that moment, there was no cover, no mission. Just the man who’d always been yours—even when neither of you would admit it.
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