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@hollandersrozy
katie ☉ 25 ☉ hudcon + hollanov down ☉
reheats: 16 ☉ rereads: heated rivalry (2) the long game (2)
maybe just a little too obsessed with this show of gay hockey players.
i tend to do some character studies, smut/fluff excerpts, loads of reblogs. i make edits on tiktok @ frxserwife
my main is @prettystylinson so likes/follows may come from there!
discord server
before dick and kisses
after dick and kisses
from 😾 to 🙂: an ilya rozanov guide to keeping your shane happy
after dick no kisses
Wyatt Hayes noticing that notorious ladies man Ilya Rozanov added a fancy ring to his necklace:
His tomato🍅
a short au idea where shane goes to visit his girlfriend by surprise because he was on a work trip and when he knocks on her door it takes a while to swing open, and when it finally does he’s face to face with a half-naked man he’s never seen before and his girlfriend appears behind him and turns all apologetic and starts crying when she notices shane at the door and starts saying it’s not what it looks like and begging for forgiveness, but shane just stands there barely listening, only having eyes for the guy who’s leaning against the doorframe looking completely unbothered, smirking like he’s actually enjoying the whole scene, and it makes shane so mad, so he pulls his hand away from his ex’s grip, breaks up with her, and leaves. he goes straight to his car but doesn’t turn the engine on, just leans his forehead against the steering wheel and stays there for like fifteen minutes, until he hears someone knock on his window and looks up and it’s the guy, so he rolls the window down and snaps “what do you want?”and the guy goes “i didn’t know she had a boyfriend” and shane’s like “so what?” and the guy, smirking just like before, goes “if i knew she had a boyfriend who looked like you, i would’ve been chasing you instead of her” and shane’s thinking this situation is absurd (and secretly pleased) and just asks “what the fuck is your problem?” and the guy goes “my problem is that i clearly chose the wrong one, now you can help me correct it, right?” and he winks at shane, who just flips him off, rolls up the window, and drives away. later shane is at a bar telling what happened to his friends when someone slides into the booth next to him and it’s the guy and his friend rose goes “shane, this is ilya, he’s the guy i met at the painting class and was telling you that you two would be great friends” and shane is sitting there horrified and speechless while ilya gives him that same satisfied smirk and goes “oh shane, we’re definitely going to be GREAT friends” and now shane is truly fucked
okay walk with me. it wasn’t part of rose’s plan for ilya and shane to meet like that, because she’d already arranged with the rest of the friend group to introduce the two of them since they’re sure shane is gay and they all hated his ex-girlfriend. when rose met ilya in art class she thought she’d hit the jackpot, she had this simple plan to befriend the hot russian guy and introduce him to her potentially gay friend and they’d fall in love. turns out the plan worked even better than expected because the russian guy simply cut the ex-girlfriend out of the picture and met shane, killing two birds with one stone. now it’s just a matter of convincing shane that ilya is a good catch and they’d be perfect together. convincing ilya isn’t the hard part since he clearly wants to get shane into his bed, but shane is stubborn so it’ll take some time for him to come around. she just didn’t count on ilya being even more stubborn and persistent, when he has a goal he goes all the way to achieve it and that goal fortunately is shane hollander. so ilya will just need some time to convince shane to sleep with him and a little less time to keep shane in his bed, and even less time for the two of them to truly fall in love since the chemistry and attraction are clearly there. and poor oblivious shane, he has no idea that there’s a massive plot against him to get him to sleep with the russian who was the reason he was cheated on. in the end ilya was destined to shane in a way or another.
shane (a little tipsy) being cornered by a few fans at a bar one night and they ask him what’s the best thing about coming out, expecting him to say something motivating like self-expression and liberation and shane just goes
“i don’t know, probably that i can have ilya’s photos on my phone now :).”
and the whole of non bigot hockey twt just fucking crash out and montreal metros and crowell gets burned at the stake
These tags are my fave
During the post-cottage era when Ilya's still playing for Boston, Shane sends Ilya a text one night that's just like "Are you alone?"
And Ilya is like "No I'm out for drinks with the guys. Did you not see that we won, Hollander?"
And Shane texts back like "Of course I saw, that's why I'm texting." Then a few seconds later: "Download this app right now. Be discreet." with an app store link. And Ilya texts back like '??? 🤨 Shane, have you been hacked?'
And Shane is like 'Just download the fucking app, asshole. This is your reward. Username is Jane2481. Fucking HURRY.'
And when Ilya follows the link and finds out that it's the app that controls a vibrating butt plug, he nearly blacks out at the table before disappearing for a suspiciously long smoke break.
@zouisalmightie Aaahh no why would you apologise for leaving this masterpiece in the tags. Holy shitttt
Goddd the idea of Ilya being able to hear allll of it but not speaking to him. Just communicating what he wants from Shane through what he does with the plug until Shane gets it. Making Shane work for it in more ways than just making pretty noises for Ilya. Adding something of a puzzle to it. He knows Shane likes a challenge, and a challenge it's possible to win, and he creates one for him. Hottttt.
Have we considered that between Ilya Slavanov and Mr. Autism 3000 this is probably how they look to the outside world even when they're as happy as can be 😭
i tried making a contrapuntal poem for hollanov, which can be read 3 ways: shane’s side alone, ilya’s side alone, or both sides together. inspired by the long game.
ilya wakes up in the middle of the night arching hard, horny as hell and just wishing to do a quickie and fall back asleep with his husband in his arms. so he reaches for shane and finds nothing, just empty sheets. and he gets up all groggy and confused looking around for his husband who is nowhere to be found in their room, not even a light from the en suite. so he leaves the bed and starts wandering around their house looking for him. he sees the light on in the office and walks toward it and finds his husband sitting there in his chair wearing only his black boxers and his glasses and ilya’s brain just short circuits “he wants to kill me” ilya thinks and then shane looks up from his laptop to ilya “oh, my love, did i wake you up?” while reaching his hands out for ilya to pull him into his lap “you did, i can’t sleep without you, sweetheart” and shane just snorts “oh my poor husband can’t sleep without his body pillow” shane says while caressing ilya’s arms “the best body pillow. what you doing?” Ilya asks looking to shane’s laptop and to the amount of paper on the desk “oh i forgot to look at some contracts mom sent me and i couldn’t sleep till i sort this out” shane replies kissing ilya’s shoulder “it’s going to take long?” ilya asks pouting while hiding his face in the crock of shane’s neck “i don’t know actually” shane replies and ilya groans “shane i woke up cus i’m horny as hell and wanted to be inside you” he whines “you still can, we can cockwarm while i sort my moms paper and then you can fuck me however you want” shane replies and ilya stand up so quickly he almost fall and shane laughs with how eager his husband is just so he can be inside him. and they do the cockwarming, and they fuck in the office, and one more time in the bedroom and ilya sleeps like a baby completely worn out and tangled up in his husband
Rolex invites Shane to the Royal Box at Wimbledon again and this time Shane accepts because Rolex specifically asked if he could bring his husband as well and fuck yes he can and together Ilya and Shane are ready to serve so much cunt. They both get dressed in some sharp, elevated summer suits, Ilya in Versace and Shane in Gucci, the dramatic sunglasses & the bitchiest, judgiest mogging are ON, they mirror each other as they cross their legs; occasionally they're holding hands or sit with Ilya's arm around Shanes waist, they are the epitome of power husbands & this is their playground. Do they have one clue what is going on on the court? Of course not. That doesn't stop them from having a fabulous time showing off each other. They know they steal the limelight looking as devastating as they do, together. Turns out these dreadful PR appointments are actually incredible fun when you have your husband/best friend/soulmate with you and Shane can't imagine how he ever did this without Ilya.
Now picture this, occasionally they whisper into each other's ears, sometimes its just sweet nothings and sometimes it's some devastating chirps about tennis, and each time a precious smile breaks through, only for each other, but it drives the photographers wild.
(afterwards, Ilya is excited to have the perfect summer with Shane where they fuck their way across europe)
Yuna showing Ilya photos of little baby Shane and they get to a photo of a naked two year old Shane grinning at the camera, shirt held up in his triumphant chubby fist. Yuna smiles and tells him how hard it was to keep clothes on Shane and that he’d rip them off whenever they weren’t looking. Without thinking Ilya says “so not much has changed, huh?” and then freezes because he can’t believe he just said that in front of his boyfriend’s mom until Yuna laughs so hard she spills her wine.
Concept:
Ilya does love seeing old photos of Shane. Fat Baby Shane™ in all his forms, toddler Shane in his little hockey gear, Shane in elementary school with a big missing-teeth smile, Shane blowing out the candles on his 10th birthday, Shane holding up his brand new driver's license at 16. The list goes on.
One day Yuna finds an old disposable camera. The expiration date on it says 2009. She tells Shane about it; it might have some old photos from his graduation on it or something. She'd gotten a digital camera around that time so she can't remember what she used this one for. Shane is pretty indifferent about it.
Yuna sends the camera off to some company that still develops old camera film. It's about 15 years old at this point, though, so whatever is on it might not even develop correctly.
A few weeks later Shane and Ilya are over for dinner. Yuna tells them she got the photos back and they actually turned out ok. She hands over the stack of 10 photos. Shane rolls his eyes, but Ilya grabs the photos and starts flipping through them. The first two look like they are from some school event; there's Shane surrounded by similarly aged kids in an auditorium. There's one of the three of them on Thanksgiving that year and another of the three of them with Yuna's parents at the same dinner. Two of David asleep on the couch with the family dog clearly taken on different days. One of a Christmas tree in the Hollander's living room. The next two are Shane on the ice in a rink that Ilya recognizes as the one in Regina. The one from their first World Juniors Tournament.
And Ilya freezes. The last photo in the stack is a close-up of Shane. He's in a white hoodie with a black coat over it. He has on a dark green beanie and he's standing next to the door to the rink. He's smiling for the camera and his freckles are crinkled near his eyes. It's the Shane that so awkwardly and so confidently introduced himself to Ilya the first time they met. The Shane that had tried so hard to talk to Ilya then. The Shane that Ilya could admit to himself now that he'd had a bit of a crush on already. His Shane.
His Shane was getting blurry as tears filled his eyes.
yeah yeah yeah fuck-drunk shane but have we considered fuck-drunk ilya maybe shane rode him into next sunday or maybe ilya was just so lost in the sauce he got a little stupid about it so afterwards he just lies on the bed with little cartoon hearts floating around his head and giggling to himself because Wow he just loves shane so much and he feels so good and floaty but they have things to do today and ilya is in charge of the shopping cart but he keeps driving into things and if shane didn’t have good reflexes there would have been a flood in the wine section and he keeps pawing at shane and leaning into him and he hasn’t heard a word of what he’s said the last half an hour because his face is just too pretty and he’s having a hard time multitasking at the moment
shane and rose at a lunch catch up and rose is complaining because she stopped taking birth control so now she has to use condoms all the time and shane says something like i’m so glad i can’t get pregnant because i love when ilya…and then promptly stops himself when he realizes what he was about to admit and rose is like you just told me so much about your sex life that i didn’t need to know, please keep going
Someone asking Luca after Shane's first season as AC on the Centaurs: "So, is it difficult with basically three captains, especially if two of them are married that must be hard to get used to.
And Luca and the other rookies being like, oh you mean the Dad-Trifecta? it's the best thing that has ever happened to us.
You loose your skates or you need help with paperwork or you're just feeling kinda sad and need a dad hug - you go Bood. he will grill you some chicken and go speak to Coach for you. You call him or Cassie if you're sick and they will pick you up and deposit you on the floor with Milo and you are their baby now. I'm 23 years old but that's my dad tho
If you're having trouble with other players, or if you're in like, a crisis? Mama Bear Ilya, will 100% get arrested for any of us and/or pick you up from the middle of nowhere any time of night. You wanna ragebait other players? He has the perception of a God and can tell from one look when a players second wife will leave him. He can also tell when you're feeling like shit mentally and he will pick you up take you to Harris farm and make you dog walk with him while throwing sweets at you. Holmberg got high sticked the other week Ilya spent like, 2 hours going through the guys Instagram with us while wine drunk and ripping his entire life to pieces with us.
and Shane? He will come early to practice for you, he will tell me things wrong with my playing I didn't know EXISTED. Boyle was in a slump Hollander turned up at our house with a fucking smoothie get your ass out of bed we're going to the rink and he will completely pull apart your playing style with such precision that's it's beautiful to watch and I'm not even mad about it. Roz will be giving a fucking captains speech about how we can do better next week and he'll fucking pipe up in the corner going, well we will if Lapointe improves his footwork Coach, we're gonna be staying late on Saturday and Wiebe is like, sounds good Hollander like COACH you can't Agree For Me and he'll just go, Shane Hollander is giving you a private lesson I don't care what you're doing cancel it
Cliff can't believe he didn't figure it out sooner. The strange move to Ottawa. How happy he's been. And most damming of all, "Jane", it fucking rhymes!
He watches a highlight reel of Ilya celebrating with his line and realizes he's just going to have to accept it.
Ilya was in love with Zane Boodram.
