Dossier on object ANo.0-8/8-RX

✶ blog about the life of a mentally ill creature ✶ mental health advocate ✶

[rreflectedx]

Case No. O (a.k.a. welcoming post)

My serial number is ANo.0-8/8-RX, but you can just call me RX. My most used nickname is Reflection/Reflexia/Ref. I'm going to write here about my life as a walking mental illness, occasionally talking about things that are important to me or just yapping about a new hyperfixation of mine...

Pronouns: it/its > lu/lun > avoiding pronouns.

Alterhuman id: voidkin, Al-kin, lunarkin.

Queer id: polyamorous (have a fiancée) agender oriented bold stripe aroace (caedromantic and aegosexual + fictoromantic and fictosexual).

Self-diagnosed: C-PTSD, polyfragmented modular DID, schizotypal disorder, cluster b PD (mixed), BDD, dermatillomania, maladaptive daydreaming, ADHD, dyslexia and other learning/processing difficulties, paraphilic disorder(s).

Still researching, so can't be sure about: bipolar disorder (I or II type).

I'm mentally and cognitively disabled, inclusionist, pro/com/darkshipper and selfshipper, pro kink, pro para and pro endo. Also, keep in mind I don't support radqueers, trans-ID, pro contact, radfems and TERFs.

I won't list all types of people/blogs I don't want to interact with, but I'm not open to discussions that are meant to become an argument. I have any right to ignore, block or answer harshly if I get attacked for my disorders/identities/opinions etc.

My tiktok account with edits: reflectedx

List of hashtags (will be updating):

#info — important information about the blog you should know before getting into

#personal — some more personal things, for those who are interested in me as a person

#dark chocolate fic — info about a powco AU fic I'm gonna write

[unheardoracle]

I love characters who are like "I'm a terrible person" but when you look closer it's more like

"I adapted to survive something and now I don't know how to stop being that version of myself."

[rreflectedx]

So, English isn't my first language. I'll just pin this pic.

(Sometimes, I'm still ashamed of my grammatical mistakes and small vocabulary tho)

[rreflectedx]

Powco is goated, so I'm gonna write a fanfic

Okay, so I've seen people shipping Jinx and Silco a lot and their dynamic in the original universe probably gave motivation to ship Powder and Silco in the AU from s2e7, too.

I find this dynamic kind of boring because of AU Silco who I don't really like as much as original Silco for several reasons. One of them is that I love man freaky and troubled. But I love AU Powder, like, A LOT, so...

Powder + Original Silco make my brain itch in all the right places despite their pairing being kind of cliché "Good girl/Bad guy" but I don't mind well-written clichés. That's why I'm gonna write a fic about AU where my babies can be together!

Basically, it's an AU where everything went just like in the AU in s2e7 BUT with one detail changed: Silco never read the letter or was never able to forgive Vander despite the letter. Therefore, he became a criminal and a chembaron, dissatisfied with the fact that Zaun never actually became independent and stayed on good terms with Piltover after many years of oppression.

While political conflict between Silco and Vander flares up yet again, Powder meets Silco on the street, not knowing who the man is but falling in love with him at first sight, feeling deeply ashamed of her desires.

The fic will be called "Dark chocolate" because of the song that reminds me about their gentle and complex dynamic. "Even if you're scum and filth, lose yourself in me. You're sourness, I'm sweetness, we're dark chocolate". It's not English, so I'll make up my mind on whether should I pin it somewhere or not later. However, I think this song perfectly describes their relationship.

I don't really have much time due to work and my other interests and projects but I promise, one day I definitely gonna write it...

[polyfrag-culture-is]

polyfrag culture is being so fragmented that you basically act as a singlet, and being treated like youre fake for it

.

[kimoneko]

Shoutout to anyone who's openly proship on TikTok 😭😭😭 I know y'all get the WORST comments in existence

[frenchpresswriter]

PowCo I drew for Three-Fold Utopian Dream by @elizaviento✨ Still one of my favourite Jilco fics I’ve ever read 😌

[hammersanvil]

Jinx and Silco - by noctyssa

[system32sys-hub]

the lack of discussion about polyfragmented systems, especially very very big polyfragmented systems, is honestly really disappointing. like yeah we made that post about folks with infinite members and such but that is the only time we've seen something like that.

when all you see about your existence is how annoying or difficult or unmanageable it must be, it gets grating. we have NEVER seen a polyfrag post get anywhere close to our amount of members, because apparently anything over 1,500 is completely unmentionable. and even then, polyfragmented medians, spiritual systems, or people who have always been polyfrag are just not talked about.

our most modest estimate is that we have 100,000 members. our more accurate estimate is probably around 500,000. and there is systems who are WAY larger than this, somebody reading this is probably pushing the concept of infinity to a newfound limit!

outside of community spaces, the medical journals about polyfragmentation are so clinical, exclusive, and honestly inaccurate a lot of the time. there's more to multiplicity than just hosts and protectors and persecutors and fully-fledged people who can still somehow be boiled down to a convenient, palatable archetype. (i have thoughts on roles but that will be another post)

so many systems don't or can't have defined or consistent roles, origins, identities, internal communication, switches, structure, innerworlds, amnesia, opinions, etc (or have these things at all!!!) and expecting polyfrag systems to fit into the already narrow and stigmatized definition of what you think a system should be is honestly just plain screwed up.

this is messy and there's a lot more i want to say, but mecfs is kicking my ass, so...

to very large polyfragmented systems: please talk about your experiences. tag rambling highly encouraged!!!

[rreflectedx]

I can't help but feel incredibly stupid whenever I'm being slow or don't know something. I have a lot of processing issues, wasn't socialized properly, have little motivation to learn about what people call "general knowledge" and I'm just basically cognitively disabled.

It's expected for me to um not be able to understand things as fast as others but my narcissistic ass can't get over it. I constantly feel like the most stupid person that could possibly exist on the Earth.

[its-not-fate-its-destiny]

Fandoms stopped being a fun escape from reality when people started spreading the belief that you should prioritize purity over pleasure and the art you create must be a reflection of your moral standards at all times.

[rreflectedx]

TW: narcissistic and histrionic rant/vent

Being narcissistic means never actually enjoying your hobbies or interests because you can't be happy and content unless you're the best of the best. As a result, you constantly try to do better than last time which makes everything you might've even liked doing a fucking race that drains life out of you. And now you want to give up on it completely because you don't see progress big enough.

Add histrionic traits to this and you'll end up in mental breakdown in no time, if you don't get tons of feedback RIGHT NOW in THIS EXACT MOMENT because you worked so hard on something, so people would have "wow" reaction you don't eventually get.

I'd be happy to get death threats under my edits if it meant I'd get more recognition atp.

[proshipclefairy]

YES I JERK OFF TO FICTIONAL CHARACTERS GETTING RAPED OR GROOMED OR MAIMED!!! DEAL WITH IT!!! THEY ARENT REALLL!!! OH MY GOSH!!! IT DOESNT MATTER!!!

[rreflectedx]

work sucks

[proship-froggo]

Fandoms have a serious problem with how creators are being treated these days.

Fandom creators spend hours of their free time to create something to make fandom thrive...for free and for the love of the game.

And what do they get? A wholeass heap of fuck all. No reblogs, no comments, no nothing. And people are surprised that creators are dropping out left, right, and centre??

"Why is there no long fic anymore?" "Why did my favourite writer stop?" "Why is my favourite artist not posting anymore?"

I implore you to ask yourself: "What's the last thing I did to support my fandom? Does my favourite creator know they are my favourite? When was the last time I left a comment under something?"

[house-of-mirrors]

Post about increasingly niche stuff that nobody follows you for and barely has a tumblr presence NOW

[house-of-mirrors]

That indie game no one else has played. That show from the 1980s that isn't big in the pop culture osmosis. Your deep dive into Tudor history. A liveblog of your experience learning C++. Your welding skills. Post all of it. This is your house

[mfimthestraightestshota]

*someone follows me*

Me: Oh cool! Let's see their blog!

*watches their dni list*

"DNI PROFIC DNI PROSHIP DNI PROKINK IF YOU ARE ANY OF THESE YOU'RE A DISGUSTING AND PERVERTED SOUL AND I HOPE YOU DIE AND YOU DESERVE TO BE SKINNED ALIVE"