Relationship Reflections

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I'd still want only YOU, if I could have ANYBODY.

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Overcoming heartbreak is impossible. I think we get through it but I don't think we overcome it. People say just let go and move on. You are just torturing yourself. You can't make someone love you. It's true. I have loved and not been loved in return and have been loved but not shared the same feelings. I understand that "hope" will not change anything. There is love or there isn't. It can not be forced. When you know a person has been awful and don't deserve your love but you love them anyway. It just means your intentions and heart is pure. It's not their fault they don't feel the same way and it doesn't make them bad. Journaling has helped and I believe there is a story forthcoming. I will have a book that shares those letters and the many things I have learned in this journey.

[runningtochange]

You tell me you aren't for me and I need to move on. Then when you haven't seen me in ten days are angry with me. I want to be in your life daily but you shut me out. My heart says hold on and my head says let go. So torn!

[runningtochange]

A person has to care to get upset. Indifference is a lack of care.

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Yes, I still love you. You broke my heart to pieces. My head says its time to let go and move. My heart still picks up the phone and sends messages. My heart still breaks over your one word answers. My head says I'm a sucker for punishment and stupid. My heart says "Have Hope".

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I wish I had never met you. The pain I feel from having loved you, only to learn I mean nothing crushes my soul.

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I don't understand why God would let me fall so deeply in love with and not let me keep you.

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I will always love you. My heart beats and my body hums for you and you only and always.

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When I close my eyes, I see your smile and my heart grows warm, then my eyes start to leak. I miss you.

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I've learned that when you focus on the pain you cry. When you focus on the love and great memories you smile. We need pur smiles to move on. Let go of the pain. Keep smiling.

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How does one even connect anymore? My heart is broken and I feel like I will either burst into tears or am as cold as ice!

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I woke up so broken. Knowing I need to let you go because you chose someone else. I know I wasn't your choice but you were mine. I feel so shattered and the tears won't stop. How do I put you out of my mind? How?

[runningtochange]

We can't give up, love is worth fighting for.

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I don't want anything you have. I want all that you are. I want you. All of you.

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You are so close yet that path back to you feels like a million miles. I would run the distance, if you asked me too.

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Giving you space to enjoy life without me, is like giving a friend a puppy and telling them they can't love it.

My broken heart

[runningtochange]

You Get What You Focus On

I look back on where I was and its not in line with where we should have been together. You were in my thoughts daily, but I was in my own world, and you weren’t apart of it. I kept pushing forward, saying when this is done, then I can give us all my attention. While you were getting your attention from someone else. I didn’t quit loving you, I just didn’t show you how much you meant to me. Now you are married to someone else and the regret I feel weighs on me so heavily my heart still hurts and its been a year and a half already. Letting go is the hardest thing to do.