a recollection of an event that never happened
i remember reading in bed… it was late at night, of course you know that. i couldn’t get into any rhythm with the book. that had been happening a lot, i’m tempted to think that it was related to what was coming. in any case, reading had ceased being a passion and had become something I did to fall asleep.
i remember the apartment and how much i hated it. a studio that cost me enough to keep from enjoying my life. no nights out for me in those days. just work , work, work at a crap job and come home to a crap apartment to eat crap food fresh from the crap microwave.
anyway, i’m getting sidetracked. so i’m a reading this book in a futile attempt to keep my mind stimulated and instead it knocks me out like i did rounds with the heavyweight champ of the world and i’m sleeping an hour, hour and a half, when i hear murph meowing like he’s in heat… you know if dude cats could go into heat. it’s a long drawling banshee-cry of a meow that i’ve never heard before. it yanks me from my sleep instantly.
he’s in the fireplace, which had been bricked-up decades before, whenever the building had been converted into apartments. he’s staring directly at me, and he’s got a frantic look about him and he belts out another one of those cringe-inducing yowlers.
‘shut-up you little bastard, you’ll wake up the neighbors’ or something to that effect i problably said. of course he answers with another to spite me. and yes, in my lonely and beleaguered state i often did talk to my cat. it just happens i guess. he was kind of like my roomie that i affectionately called little bastard. i suppose i became one of those crazy cat dudes.
anyway, i knew something wasn’t right. his skittishness was contagious. i picked him up and set him on the bed next to me and he immediately jumped off and made his way under the small writing desk that i never used. he was looking around like he could sense something. i’d heard about how animals can sense things we can’t and i thought immediately that there was some type of evil spirit in the room with us. i honestly remember thinking if my apartment becoming was haunted was grounds for me to break my lease.
he yowled again and ran over to the door as if wanted out of the apartment. one of my junkie neighbors from downstairs yelled something incomprehensible. fucking idiots.
i didn’t do anything. i just gave up and lay down, thinking about how things were all fucked up. the seemingly endless loop of self-loathing , fear of the future and silent desperation that seemed to take over the record player in my head. the kind of thoughts that keep you up all night. the kind of thoughts that give you rings under your eyes. the kind of thoughts that make you hate the world all the more. i felt completely defeated. dead-end job. squalid and probably haunted apartment. no booze to make it all more tolerable. and now even murph wasn’t safe from the lameness of my world. he was going schizo right in front of me and i felt powerless to do anything.
he kept yowling until i couldn’t take it anymore, and i ran up to the door and flung it open.
it wasn’t my proudest moment, i admit.
i immediately regretted it. i stepped out into the hall and saw him there looking back at me.
‘here murph’ i called out, trying to get him back. he just turned and ran off on me. shit. as i watched him run off something snapped inside me and brought me out of my tragic self-pitying mood. i was determined to get him back and take him to the all night vet and find out what was wrong, i mean, he was my roomie, right? i wasn’t going to just give up.
i ran towards the back door of the building. the door was completely busted up and kicked in from one of the junkies psychotic rage episodes. murph had gotten out. he was waiting at the bottom of the stairs and ran off when he saw me. little bastard.
i chased him down to a ditch in the back alley. the city was putting in a new drainage pipe. they had dug the trench and was in the process of laying down the pipe. murph was sitting there next to the drainage pipe, yowling.
‘come here, you little bastard.’ i said.
he yowled in response staring me dead in the eyes, ‘you come here, you little bastard!’
i mean, he didn’t really say that. but i knew that’s what he was saying to me, and for a split second i got the sense that he wasn’t just my cat but he was my better and he was looking out for me. i jumped into the ditch.
and that’s when it happened. the biggest earthquake to ever hit the city. so strong that it knocked me on my ass and prevented me from getting up until it spent itself out. so strong that it leveled 80% of the buildings in the city. including the junkie/drug dealer HQ that was my apartment. a pile of rubble and dust was all that was left of that mess.
little bastard. good looking out.
