I am but a swan

nvm

[cabanaken]

[black-to-the-bones-deactivated2]

Dead ass scary. Society taught men to behave like this. We need to do something.

[elaxisfae]

Plus did anyone peep how these messages were only sent within a 1.5 hour time frame? Like in less than two hours dude had a whole nervous breakdown because he didn’t get a follow-back 🙄

[blackness-by-your-side]

this

[dondaario]

so if in the soulmate au the very first words your soulmate ever says to you are tattooed somewhere on your body since the day you are born imagine having something like ‘man I cant believe dumbledore died’ tattooed on you. imagine being spoiled for a book series that doesnt even exist yet. imagine worrying about this dumbledore guy your whole childhood while not knowing who he is. imagine knowing dumbledore dies before jk rowling even thinks about it.

[adramofpoison]

Everybody go home, this is my favorite soulmate au

[littlelions101]

So you finally find your soulmate. After years of knowing that dumbledore dies and the entire franchise being ruined, you find him. You’re in the theatre, dumbledore is dead and you hear it. ‘Man I can’t believe dumbledore died’ by a guy walking right by you and in you’re rage you shout ‘You! You’re the one!’ The guy stops, looks at you, his own arm to read the words, then back at you and he says, “That’s not really how I imagined that being said”

[siriuslyymoonyy]

It got better

[tootsieboy-deactivated20171122]

You ever look at a girl like “she can’t be real”

[leezlog]

poetry

[bassiter]

while looking up 1950s slang, i found the phrase “come on snake, let’s rattle,” which has 2 meanings: asking someone to dance, and challenging someone to a fight

and. hhhooooooooo boy does that fact have some Potential

[steampunkepsilon]

Invite your crush to the dance floor, but instead they just fuckin deck you

[writerswritecompany]

[agnesmontague]

red, pink, or white roses? strawberry, chocolate, or vanilla? pumps, flats, or sneakers? daffodils, daisies, or lilies? pizza, sushi, or burgers? rubies, sapphires, or diamonds? 

[zsnes]

hi welcome to five guys would you like some peanuts? some fucking peanuts?

[calikushchicana]

[straightgirls]

Is it just me or is the “body positive” movement not working? Like at all?

[nada-mal]

Other people have said this before/better, but the problem was presenting all women as beautiful as opposed to eliminating the need for women to be beautiful

[wine-and-queer-deactivated20180]

It’s not working because the focus is STILL on trying to view yourself as attractive no matter how you look, instead of (as stated above) eliminating the need to feel “attractive.“

The body positive movement SHOULD be focused on bodily autonomy and taking care of your health. The best way to be “positive” toward your body is to treat it well, not by repeating some “I am beautiful” mantra over and over. You don’t have to be pretty. You don’t have to see yourself as pretty. Others don’t have to see you as pretty. PRETTY IS NOT IMPORTANT. Pretty is not your worth. You exist for you, not for anyone else’s gaze.

[ithelpstodream]

how to tip

[trekkie-lover]

If you do this get the fuck off my blog

[snowconelostinthesauce]

Please understand that they gave a 33% tip, in cash instead of on a card, to increase the odds that the server could keep all of it.

[fatale-distraction]

What they mean by ‘taxation is theft’ is that servers are taxed on the ASSUMPTION that they will be tipped. If they don’t make those tips, they get taxed on them anyway. It is literally theft. By leaving cash and not writing it on the receipt, they’ve allowed the server the option of quietly slipping that 20 into their pocket and therefore not being taxed on it.

[neurodivergent-crow]

i worry that the zero is painful to see so instead of that i write “cash” and tip at least 20% (usually more) and they can claim i left them a penny and slip that 10 into their pocket

fuck taxing the income of people struggling to get by

[theoffensivemomma]

As a former server, DO NOT WRITE CASH IF YOU INTEND TO TIP IN CASH AND DO NOT LEAVE THE TIP ON THE TABLE!!!!!

Bosses of the not so great kind will see the receipt, I guarantee it, and will demand all of your cash tips from the night so THEY can determine what is appropriate for you to take home.

Write the zero, then wait. Wait for the server to come back then HAND THEM the cash. Make sure they know the tip was cash and that’s why there’s a zero.

This is the absolute best way to ensure that your server gets the most out of your tipping.

[neurodivergent-crow]

USEFUL!!!! I didn’t know this!!

[eggtrolls]

god I’m absolutely going to hell I’m sorry guys 

I was at my friend’s engagement party yesterday and everyone was about to do cheers with these nasty ass shots of blue tequila but I don’t drink and I especially do not drink tequila, blue or otherwise, so I grabbed a piece of bread from the basket on the table and just tapped it against people’s glasses like it was a legitimate beverage instead of a wheat byproduct 

and one of my friends was like ‘ho what in god’s name are you doing’ 

and I didn’t know how to say I would rather slice of my own foot than drink tequila so I just held my bread up and said ‘I’m toasting’ 

and in that moment I felt my soul descend directly into the eighteenth circle of hell

[trevenanl-deactivated20200913]

I saw a guy with a “Smart Phones Make Dumb People” bumper sticker talking on a Samsung Galaxy as he drove down the highway, and honestly I haven’t seen modern art in motion like that in my entire millennial life

[kimbbearlyold]

why dont humans have a specific noise that means “there are bees here lets leave immediately” why are elephants more advanced than us

[thebaconsandwichofregret]

we do have a specific noise, it sounds like this:

“there are bees here lets leave immediately”

[loboflaco-deactivated20221016]

It would be peaches if ya’ll could muster up the effort to support all trans men of color and not just the rail-thin, pastel hair, feminine, infantalized, white *~soft trans boys~* that think they’re something revolutionary for wearing a goddamn flower in their hair. Support masculine trans guys of color, androgynous trans guys of color, disabled trans guys of color, fat trans guys of color, religious trans guys of color, gay trans guys of color, bi trans guys of color, straight trans guys of color, poor trans guys of color, like… the subset of white trans boys ya’ll choose to support over trans men of color is transparent as fuck