Funniest bitch in the lunchroom

29, she/her. Lost access to the old blog so...here's a new one I guess writing blog: peasomm

[machetelanding]

[husbandcinnamon]

y’all on the west coast know that nobody else calls them that right

[mssjynx]

t- they’re called zooper doopers??? huh??

[firstaidquarters-deactivated202]

THE FOCK IS A ZOOPER DOOPER THAT’S AN OTTER POP

[mssjynx]

nO WE CALL THEM ZOOPER DOOPERS N THEYRE THE BEST FAKIN SUMMER ICYPOLE

[boffumdeez]

they’re literally just ice pops what the fuck are you two talking about

[tobiguous]

i call them iced lollies, what the hell is a zooper dooper

[jacketslutjayse]

Oh my god this is even worse. Yall out here ssaying otter pop and zooper dooper with a straight face AND insisting ur right?

[philly-punks-and-skins]

A fucking what now?

[coat]

BITCH THEYRE FREEZIES!!!!

[whereserpentswalk]

Here in New York it’s just called an ice.

[ovineweaver]

DO YOU ALL FUCKING MEAN POPSICLES???? WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU COMING UP WITH EUPHEMISMS FOR POPSICLES.

[virovirokun-has-adhd]

who put a zooper dooper on my dash and then insisted it was called anything but a zooper dooper.

[wwhore]

?. The humble freeze pop ??

[elfgrove]

I think your name for the frozen tube popsicle is entirely a case of a combination of region and income access to the different brand names that all made the same basic product concept.

Y'all are just calling them by the brands names your grew up with.

Otter Pops

Zooper Dooper

Freezies

Freeze® Pops = Glick’s Freeze Pops/Fun Pops (Freeze Pops)/Mr. Freeze (Freezepops)/Slush Puppie Squeezee (Freezalicious Pops)

Squeezee = Slush Puppie Squeezee (Freezalicous Pops)

Ice Pops = Pop Ice/Fla Vor Ice (Ice Pops)

Before anyone tries to go the Otter Pops example says “original”, that’s for the flavor mix in the box. Squeezee says “original” too. I have no clue which came first and there’s more brands than these.

Going by subtitles on the boxes, Ice Pop or Freeze Pop is probably the generic term.

[nadjasnandor]

consuming media like

[what-even-is-thiss]

Yeah I saw the lovecraftian horrors and didn’t succumb to madness. What- no I’m not a cultist, James. For Christ’s sake. What you’re forgetting my friend is that HP Lovecraft wasn’t a flexible man. His brain simply wasn’t stretchy enough to take it all in. I however, have short term memory issues. Flexibility is the name of the game when you can’t remember if you ate lunch or not. What’s the size of the universe? Big. You knew that already, James. Come on now. You don’t need to witness the terrifying ocean at the base of the entirety of reality itself to know that. Pass the brandy.

[what-even-is-thiss]

You must imagine the character I’ve created here wearing a suit and a monocle, by the way.

[thesilvertophat]

During a Eldritch Horrors based tabletop RPG my character was a young dandy who wasn't particularly interested in all this monster mystery stuff but his father (my brother's character) was a researcher who WAS very into it, so Bertie went along to make sure the old man didn't get into too much trouble. It was your average Eldritch Horrors RPG in that you don't make your characters with the expectation that they will survive for very long, both the game itself and the genre are very intent on turning your characters inside out, driving them insane, and blowing them up in no particular order.

The thing was, everything in this nightmare hellscape just seemed to keep coming up Bertie because the man was too stupid to realize what genre he was in. Every time he had to roll for a sanity check whenever he saw something crazy, the dice treated him so well that he just... didn't get it. Gee that sure is a funny costume. There's something wrong with that dog. These mean guys in stupid hats are trying to hurt that young lady, we can't have that! I had not built him this way, his intelligence stats weren't even that bad, random chance just made it so that this man was living a scooby doo adventure while everyone else was being consumed by The Horrors. The final straw was at the end of an adventure when Bertie escaped from the cultist headquarters by breaking out through the mansion's front window on a motorcycle with a hot rescued sacrificial maiden clinging to his back and leading the cultists on a merry chase through the hedge maze while the other adventurers escaped. His sanity score? HIGHER than when the adventure had begun. He had found the whole experience quite thrilling and felt very good about life in general! Bertie retired from adventuring to marry the maiden he rescued and care for his aging father and delight and bemuse his friends at the gentleman's club with stories of his 'wacky' adventures. I didn't want to risk breaking his ridiculous lucky streak.

[birdplushie]

"it's not that deep" START DIGGING!!

[magn-animously]

DIG

[14-opossums-in-a-trenchcoat]

DIG

[buriedunderyourmum]

DIG

[hannisconfused]

DIG

[kitsunesakii]

DIG

[yourlocalfandomfriendo]

DIG

[apple-notplural]

DIG

[vivitur-moritur]

DIG

[spacecat24-7]

DIG

[chub-froggy]

DIG

[thatghostthateatspeople]

DIG

[krowbreaker]

DIG

[spid-the-spider]

DIG

[annabelle--cane]

DIG

[yellow-faerie]

DIG

[vampiraptor]

[philosopherking1887]

OOPS TOO DEEP

[tanadrin]

So one of the things that can apparently contribute to kidney issues in cats is if they eat too much dry food and don't drink enough water; cats are adapted to get a lot of their water from their food since they're originally desert animals, and might not get enough water if they don't eat wet food. Unfortunately, Dozy won't eat wet food no matter what; she categorically refuses to touch the stuff. So a few months ago, we were looking for ways to get Dozy more fluids, and my wife noticed at the pet store a cat drink--basically meat broth with some floaty bits in--that was low-protein and meant for cats with kidney issues. So we figured, worth a try, right?

Great news: she loved it. Super tasty apparently. Great success. Along with the kidney-sensitive treats we found, it was a nice way to supplement her diet. Unforseen long-term consequence though: she loved it so much she began demanding it throughout the day. Like, would come up to us and meow, and meow, and meow, and not stop, until we got up, went to the kitchen, and got her some cat drink.

And by doing so on demand, we have unfortunately created a monster: no matter what we are doing at home, Dozy knows that if she sits next to you and meows, 1) you know what she wants, and 2) you know that she will not stop until you get it for her now. And when you do get it, she gets extremely excited. She will bum rush the kitchen door as you enter. She will run around your feet as you open the can. She will let out the creakiest, crunchiest, most nails-on-the-chalkboard meow you've ever heard if she thinks you're not going fast enough.

I do not begrudge her this. It is gratifying to care for a creature whose most ardent desires are so simple that it is this easy to fulfill them. But I am a little sad, because I know in my heart that I have never loved any comestible as much as she loves this cat drink. She has a pleasure of a purity and intensity that I will never know.

[the creacher in question]

[danatron1]

Hi real quick does anyone have the cat gif that goes like this

[sir-josh-of-art-deactivated2024]

Found and saved one from this very hellsite:

[virtuevistavalley]

You're lying to me. That's a squid

[crazygnomenclature]

Just need a look under the hood.

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[crazygnomenclature]

I see this sign so often

[importantcatpics]

[keepyourmouthshutandyourmindopen]

Need one more to unlock the door

[romanceyourdemons]

whenever i look into a historical monarch who doesn’t get talked about much and is just kind of a blank spot in my understanding of the historical narrative, 95% of the time what i find is pure white hot blistering capability. a pencil pusher for the ages. a 39 year reign with no more than three hours of sleep a night. there aren’t any good stories from his reign because he systematically caught and stopped all catastrophic good stories before they could start. you shrimply must respect it

[important-cat-pics]

[effbombmom]

hero cat fights the power

[beardedmrbean]

Periscope up

[birds-in-posts]

Green heron (Butorides virescens)

[flareonfloof]

birds have secret bones we're not allowed to know about

[amarvelousplace-atempsideblog]

[sivavakkiyar]

Perry Bible Fellowship

[headspace-hotel]

I haven't seen this in like a decade

[william-snekspeare]

This is so real

[pixellangel]

HOLD ON I HAVE A GIF FOR THIS

[pixellangel]

yes ive been waiting for my moment

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

so what you're gonna do is you're gonna trim the top off a bulb of garlic, using the knife's edge to take off the tip of every individual clove, that's important. you're gonna place the garlic face-up in a square of tinfoil, drizzle with olive oil, wrap completely in foil, place in baking tray, repeat with a copious amount of garlic bulbs. you're gonna put that baking tray in an oven set to 375-400°F, for 30-50 minutes, until soft and browned. you're gonna toast some good bread, slather generously with butter and honey, maybe a tiny lil bit o' salt. and then. you're gonna SQUEEZE. OUT. THAT. ROASTED GARLIC. onto the butter honey toast. and you're gonna eat it. food stolen directly from the plate of the gods. that's what you're gonna do.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

the garlic. it beckons you

[thesweetestsupervillains]

It occurs to me that "1920s gangster doing a cooking show while holding you at gunpoint" is an untapped market.

We've had normal cooking shows. Now we need period piece cooking shows in character.

[lizzystuffsthings]

I would watch 14 seasons of this!

[glorious-spoon]

spent forty-five minutes today helping an 87yo woman who does not own a computer or a cell phone try to set up an email account so that she could then set up a second account in order to access benefits. went with protonmail, because they don't require 2fa, but it turns out that while you can still make a protonmail account without authentication you can no longer use it to create OTHER accounts without it, and the benefits page she needed to get to required both an email and a cell phone to create an account anyway. asked if she wanted to try going in person to see if someone there could help her, and she said that she had, and they'd directed her to the website. she tried signing up with her landline, but of course that didn't work because you can't do SMS authentication that way. finally ended up writing up detailed instructions for how to log in and authenticate her account so she can drive to her severely disabled daughter's house forty minutes away because that's the only person she knows and trusts who has both a cell phone and a computer.

anyway i fucking hate mandatory 2fa and i think the people responsible for it should have to spend a year navigating their lives with no cell phone and no internet access beyond the public library pcs. fuck.

[bogleech]

I said a bit ago that "I Am Frankelda" (Mexico's first feature length stop motion film) is better than all the laika and tim burton movies it gets compared to and I mean it, have a clip and screenshots

These two characters are good guys (not a spoiler) and you will love them:

[anti-parent]

teamwork makes the dream work. and dreamwork. makes shrek

[anti-parent]

fantastic. i love it. i posted this after my wife said it yesterday and as i was doing it i was like "this can't be an original thought. as soon as i hit post someone's going to say 'you stole this from a tweet from 2014' and i'll say 'no, i stole it from my beautiful wife.'"