Kristen Applebees is a blorbo 2026

Penelope | Adult 

[zinesbycee]

(nods sagely) (nods basily) (nods rosemarily) (nods saltly) (nods star anisely)

[trying-trying2lyk]

i love writing out numbers and then putting them in parentheses like "one (1)" even when i dont need to i think its funny

[justatiredlittlesnail]

[icantspellthings]

Top 3 things people love insisting they don't have despite it being impossible

Pronouns

An accent

Bias

[star-mom-selkie]

happy pride month

[teaboot]

My mom likes to tell me about how when I was a little kid riding public transport with her I'd always smile and giggle and chat with weird old ladies who smelled like cat pee and homeless folks and strangers dressed in bizarre outfits but any time a tidy and respectable businessman in a suit and tie waved at me I'd immediately clam up, and she takes a great deal of pride in my supposed inherentability to clock personalities but the truth is I do vaguely remember those bus rides, and it was never about the clothes or the hair or the smell, but more because everyone "strange" asked interesting questions and listened to what I had to say and seemed to think about what I said while the neat and tidy and rigid folks only ever acted like they were going through the motions, which was boring as hell and also pretty annoying

[teaboot]

Well-to-do finance manager with tidy shoes: "Why hello, sweetheart. Can you say 'hi'? Aren't you cute. Are you on a trip with your mom?"

4 year old me: why must we do this

Fantastic old woman in the leopard print coat: "Why yes, my tooth IS real silver! Nobody ever asks me that. Do you like cats?"

4 year old me, suddenly paying attention: Finally, A Person Of Intellect

[cheaphalloweencostume]

Patagonia is posting notes app social media half-added apologies over their lawsuit 😭😭😭

[cheaphalloweencostume]

i mean. i’ll always side with the human over the company anyway. but these are markedly different

[cheaphalloweencostume]

guys, she can keep performing, she just has to cow to the brand and give up her identity and redesign all her shit despite the fact that they’re both named after a geographical region! the brand simply MUST have first dibs and then the human can live her little life or whatever!! why are you guys so excited to suck corporate boot? am i going fucking crazy? again?

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

[radriotgrrrl-deactivated2025050]

i have zero empathy for little boys being misogynists. i was a kid too, but my focus was towards drawing and reading, not hating on minorities.

[unsentimentaltranslator]

“they’re children!” so are the girls they terrorise

[ladywintersmith]

I have started calling it "monkey see monkey do misogyny" not because these little shits aren't a danger to other children but because I'm so sick of people reacting like "he's too young to truly MEAN it" and I don't care because I'm not worried about his immortal soul or whatever. I care about the girls who have to hear the exact same words in the exact same order as a grown man who hates them, in class. And then be expected to concentrate on long division.

[kittyit]

"As my mother once said: The boys throw stones at the frogs in jest.

But the frogs die in earnest."

- Joanna Russ, The Female Man

[orteil42]

given the current climate this pride especially i feel i must mention that i love my trans friends, i stand with trans people in the fight against transphobic legislation and those who would enforce it, and this blog is not a good place for you to be if you do not vibe with that

[orcboxer]

honestly "oracle that nobody believes" is such a solid trope. imagine trying to convince anybody in 2006 what the next two decades was gonna look like

[curioscurio]

If you were able to vote in 2016 this is actually what it felt like trying to tell your family about why donald trump would not make a good president

[weepylucifer]

there's something just amazing about john gaius being all "i saved the world, but not for me", blatantly riffing off of lord of the rings, which no one will ever call him on, bc he's the only person who remembers lord of the rings. to make matters worse better more, he's not even quoting the book. he's quoting the movie. so lame, you think, and then you remember where the movies were filmed and about the hobbit tax and the maōri stuntpeople who only ever got to play "evil ugly" orcs and easterlings and all of that and oh boy it's all connected here isn't it

but it also is unambiguously hilarious of him to compare himself to frodo. it's like if frodo set out to destroy sauron but orcs kept trying to arrest the fellowship and call him a charlatan on the middle earth news or whatever and also halfway through he gets hit up by gondor and they tell him that denethor just died and they need him to use the ring to reanimate his corpse and he just does it. and in the end frodo loses it and destroys all of middle earth except sauron who runs away on a spaceship

[weepylucifer]

wait hold up i'm back. i was going to be all "how dare you stand where he stood" but then i remembered what actually happened, famously, to frodo: he failed at the last step. he claimed the ring. (he just was lucky gollum happened to be there and disaster was averted.) he tried very hard, but in the end, he just couldn't do what he'd set out to do. sure yeah i can maybe see how jod would relate to that

[katakaluptastrophy]

Perhaps also relevant:

Gollum's last moments before descending under the Misty Mountains:

After Frodo begins experiencing possessiveness for the Ring:

And John, and C— and N—'s wedding:

[gaybuttfuckzone]

[anarchohannibalism]

this video sends me every time. the lip syncing. the source material. iconic

[runby2]

I reblogged this one time and someone else who reblogged it from me tagged it with #violence

[godlessondheimite]

In 2026, the chicest thing a gay actor can do is never explicitly come out as gay but also make it abundantly clear that he is. Coming out is too modern. Staying closeted is too old fashioned. But this method merges contemporary freedom with Old Hollywood glamour and allure, and it weeds out the dumbest people who truly don’t get it. I call it the Pascal Method.

[nobodys-odyssey]

Taylor Swift does this

[godlessondheimite]

no she doesn’t

[nobodys-odyssey]

You clearly don't go here or to queer history and signaling, or both, enough to have this conversation and I'm not going to explain it to you. You could have asked questions, you could have done even a modicum of research. You didn't and you made yourself look ignorant. Goodbye.

[sanjipussyindulgence]

[manuciruja]

awww the like button turns into a rainbow when you press it! that's so cute...hey staff what's with all the trans women you keep nuking?

[manuciruja]

i think we should be ridiculing them more for this. you don't get to try and go all "queer website" when your staff likes to go on nuking sprees targeting the trans fem users

[smadsel]

would be remiss not to mention that the rainbow notably straight up just removed the trans flag colors from it. like they’re gone. it’s the progress flag minus the trans flag colors.

[smadsel]

that’s not the whole flag, now is it

[manuciruja]

hey staff what the fuck

[villainessbian]

hey staff don't you think you're being too on-the-nose

[shrodingers-catgirl]

HEY STAFF DONT YOU THINK YOU'RE BEING TOO ON-THE-NOSE

[tobiasbones]

The other day i bought this yarn cause that’s obviously the trans flag, and I just saw that this colour is called ‘life’! I’m gonna cry

[phantomrose96]

I think it's funny world-building how like, so at the center of Life we've got Water. Arguably The most important resource. Colorless transparent substance that molds to any container and we die without it and quickly. And all organic functions of society hinge on its availability. Could fight a ton of wars over this thing.

And well beyond organic life, modern society's great human invention is the Electronic Magic. Our greatest minds invented the Electronic Magic and it sends information around the world instantly. Our infrastructure our economy our modern life, minute by minute by minute, hinges on utilizing the great Lighting Technology.

BUT ☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️ DO NOT. DO NOT EVER. get the magical Elixir Substance of Life and Living and Healing, Water, IN the Electronic Device. The water keeps you alive critically but it KILLS the Electronic Device instantly and catastrophically. This Says something.

[parkerposey]

I feel like a horse with no name is probably the best song in the world. Not even my Favorite song just the best

[parkerposey]

He’s literally just telling it like it is

[brennan-lee-mother]

The physical comedy this episode was fucking insane. Anna chasing Demi around, Anna going into the wheel, Demi flopping to the ground like a rag doll and of course the medieval torture Josh was experiencing