fuck off

this is a peanut free zone

[salty-legend]

@warnutreal this is the lowest you’ve gone and that’s saying something since the bar was on the ground

a zombie fits you, how else would you dig under it

[do-it-four-swords]

Winds! I got some jabber nuts for you and some tulips I need to plant! If you come help me garden, I can introduce you to the Minish!

Keep reading

[wimdyy]

I can help! Believe it or not I’m good with flowers!

[do-it-four-swords]

Awesome! The Minish left us some instructions so we’ll start there

[do-it-four-swords]

Excellent! @wimdyy are you ready to start?

[wimdyy]

I was born ready

[do-it-four-swords]

Alright, I think this is a good sunny spot, let’s plant them here

[wimdyy]

Bet

I dug a hole!

I can’t even see the bottom!

[do-it-four-swords]

Excellent!

@healing-hero since you wanted to help, do you think this is a big enough hole?

[warnutreal]

May I assist you lads with your gardening? I have not had the thrill of digging a large hole to put a not-quite-living thing inside since that time in the graveyard when I.. Oh, my apologies. I didn’t mean to ramble! I almost told you about a terrible secret of mine.. I’ll put on my gardening gloves and grab my shovel and come on over to help! It’s quite sunny as well, so I need a hat and sunscreen too. Give me a few minutes and those bodies will get buried faster than you can say murder! I mean, those flowers will get planted faster than you can say pollen!

[do-it-four-swords]

I’m just trying to garden, man(?)

[warnutreal]

Alright, I’m ready! So, what kind of flowers are we planting?

[wimdyy]

You

[timetheoldman]

NO. THEN THERE WILL BE MORE OF THEM. DO NOT DO IT.

[do-it-four-swords]

FUCK HE’S RIGHT ABORT ABORT ABORT

[wimdyy]

So um

I buried him

[do-it-four-swords]

OH SHIT ITS TOO LATE

EVERYONE RUN

[warnutreal]

I fear that I will slowly decompose in this treacherous hole until my demise. I have no arms, nor do I have legs, therefore I am unable to free myself from the cold, dark clutches of the soil that surrounds me from every direction. Is this how it ends for me? Is this the infamous cruel fate of a hero everyone has spoken of? I may never know. If I am doomed to lay here in the suffocating silence with only my thoughts to keep me company for however long it takes to leave this world, I wonder which will come to me first, death or insanity? 

[the-one-and-only-wild]

What the fuck is going on here

[wimdyy]

Murder

[acheronspride-deactivated202205]

what have you done

[deactivated-blog]

why is this what I wake up to after sleeping for a month

what the hell you guys

[salty-legend]

Why would you even check on them, go back to sleep, do the smart thing

[sky-pumpkin]

I’m going back to sleep

[salty-legend]

you’re the only sane food in this market

[do-it-four-swords]

Winds! I got some jabber nuts for you and some tulips I need to plant! If you come help me garden, I can introduce you to the Minish!

Keep reading

[wimdyy]

I can help! Believe it or not I’m good with flowers!

[do-it-four-swords]

Awesome! The Minish left us some instructions so we’ll start there

[do-it-four-swords]

Excellent! @wimdyy are you ready to start?

[wimdyy]

I was born ready

[do-it-four-swords]

Alright, I think this is a good sunny spot, let’s plant them here

[wimdyy]

Bet

I dug a hole!

I can’t even see the bottom!

[do-it-four-swords]

Excellent!

@healing-hero since you wanted to help, do you think this is a big enough hole?

[warnutreal]

May I assist you lads with your gardening? I have not had the thrill of digging a large hole to put a not-quite-living thing inside since that time in the graveyard when I.. Oh, my apologies. I didn’t mean to ramble! I almost told you about a terrible secret of mine.. I’ll put on my gardening gloves and grab my shovel and come on over to help! It’s quite sunny as well, so I need a hat and sunscreen too. Give me a few minutes and those bodies will get buried faster than you can say murder! I mean, those flowers will get planted faster than you can say pollen!

[do-it-four-swords]

I’m just trying to garden, man(?)

[warnutreal]

Alright, I’m ready! So, what kind of flowers are we planting?

[wimdyy]

You

[timetheoldman]

NO. THEN THERE WILL BE MORE OF THEM. DO NOT DO IT.

[do-it-four-swords]

FUCK HE’S RIGHT ABORT ABORT ABORT

[wimdyy]

So um

I buried him

[do-it-four-swords]

OH SHIT ITS TOO LATE

EVERYONE RUN

[warnutreal]

I fear that I will slowly decompose in this treacherous hole until my demise. I have no arms, nor do I have legs, therefore I am unable to free myself from the cold, dark clutches of the soil that surrounds me from every direction. Is this how it ends for me? Is this the infamous cruel fate of a hero everyone has spoken of? I may never know. If I am doomed to lay here in the suffocating silence with only my thoughts to keep me company for however long it takes to leave this world, I wonder which will come to me first, death or insanity? 

[the-one-and-only-wild]

What the fuck is going on here

[wimdyy]

Murder

[acheronspride-deactivated202205]

what have you done

[deactivated-blog]

why is this what I wake up to after sleeping for a month

what the hell you guys

[salty-legend]

Why would you even check on them, go back to sleep, do the smart thing

[transzeldas]

If all the links are transformed into food, can we call them fruit salad instead of the chain?

YES YES YES YES OF COURSE!!

It's the most disgusting fruit salad to ever exist but by Hylia it's a fruit salad

[warnutreal]

It's the food chain

[transzeldas]

Boss said no 😢

[warnutreal]

NO I was joking.. They can be both 💕

[salty-legend]

who the fuck died and made them the boss??

[warnutreal]

Nobody died, I was already the boss. It's common sense really, I was the first transformed, I was the first to have a blog, I have my own saga, I have the Necklace. I'm also the coolest and funniest so 🙄 I'm like the king in a nutshell, y'know?

[salty-legend]

1) being first doesn’t mean you’re the best

2) god regrets creating you

3) just because a random grandma you helped cross the street told you you were a special boy, doesn’t mean it’s true

[transzeldas]

If all the links are transformed into food, can we call them fruit salad instead of the chain?

YES YES YES YES OF COURSE!!

It's the most disgusting fruit salad to ever exist but by Hylia it's a fruit salad

[warnutreal]

It's the food chain

[transzeldas]

Boss said no 😢

[warnutreal]

NO I was joking.. They can be both 💕

[salty-legend]

who the fuck died and made them the boss??

[salty-legend]

What's it like being one of the funniest people here????

this is all i needed to confirm i’m actually the gods shitty jester

[transzeldas]

👀👀👀👀 *looks at the human forces opposing Warnut (my beloved❤️)*

[transzeldas]

[salty-legend]

[transzeldas]

But what is warnut gonna do when everyone is food?

Great question!!!

@warnutreal

EY BOSS WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE DOING

[warnutreal]

I have something big coming up, something.. Shocking, totally nuts, very surprising..

[salty-legend]

you have no idea, do you

[bittersweetmolduga-deactivated2]

@warnutreal i would like to be inducted into the peanut army pls thank you

[warnutreal]

Alright. First victim, right here

I have touched you with the necklace.

You have transformed into a slice of bread

your nut-dier name is breadsweetmolduga

[salty-legend]

stop calling people nutdiers!

[warnutreal]

I think starting the nutpocalypse late at night for most people was a bad idea, as most of my Nut-diers (nut soldiers) will be resting peacefully. I will therefore hold off on most of the plans until Tomorrow. 

After that, there will be no stopping it.

[salty-legend]

i did not agree to be called a fucking nutdier

[warnutreal]

Go, my faithful army. Spread the word. The Nutpocalypse has started. 

[salty-legend]

can we reschedule, it’s way too late for this particular brand of bullsit

[salty-legend]

the nutpocalypse has begun (derogatory)

and fucking warnut is leading it (extra derogatory)

[warnutreal]

GUYS. WHERE'S THE FUCKING NECKLACE

minions are doing nothing. I may have to take this into my own hands..

[noanythingbutthegreenpepper]

I've been looking, nothing so far General

[salty-legend]

have you considered the fact that we’re all food??

and that therefore we can’t move?? is your brain a peanut now too? are you actually this dense??

or do you think someone is just gonna dump the necklace on our laps if we just ask nicely?

[warnutreal]

My army, please help me figure out where the necklace is. Who touched it last, and who has it now? Go, my minions. Find it and bring it to me.

Oh and, @warriorsthewinner , calling upon your simps won't work. I'm Warriors too, they love me just as much.

See? It's hopeless. This is like the war of ages in a nutshell.

Another message to @tortilla-of-courage , I am deeply sorry for starting this war whilst you are low on spoons. You do not have to participate, but my great plan was to start a great battle between us for ownership of the Necklace. I will allow you to trade places with somebody, only because I am the greatest nut who ever became a nut.

Best regards,

Warnut

[salty-legend]

i hope snails slowly eat you

[godmodebeginswithlesbians]

Have you heard the news? The Nut is growing mighty powerful. I wonder what he's going to do..

yeah i heard uwu

idk what theyre gonna do but im am watchign with popcorn

[salty-legend]

spoiler alert: something dumb

[warriorsthewinner]

im sorry... you can't combat against us :)

WE CAN AND WE WILL

I, THE GREAT WARRIORS, WILL NOT BE BESTED BY A NUT

[salty-legend]

hope you both fight and rid this world of all warriors

[salty-legend]

What are you thinking about salty

well, i’d like to focus on understanding who turned us all into fucking food but SOMEONE has decided to just go off the deep end so i guess that’s what i’m thinking about rn

i’m not pointing any fingers but his name starts with ‘stupid dumbass’ and ends with ‘warriors’