Uh oh! Baby Boy is on Tumblr! I’m John Mulaney and this is my first post. I am silly but also a guys’ guy. This is my best photo.
I cant believe this is actually john mulaney and not a parody blog created for the sole purpose of making this shitpost
Claire Keane
Sade Olutola
Monterey Bay Aquarium
One Nice Bug Per Day

titsay
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izzy's playlists!

tannertan36
AnasAbdin
we're not kids anymore.

Discoholic 🪩
Three Goblin Art
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Sweet Seals For You, Always

#extradirty
will byers stan first human second
Show & Tell

oozey mess
DEAR READER
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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@samureik
Uh oh! Baby Boy is on Tumblr! I’m John Mulaney and this is my first post. I am silly but also a guys’ guy. This is my best photo.
I cant believe this is actually john mulaney and not a parody blog created for the sole purpose of making this shitpost
right now we have fortnite dancing
next, we should do sims dancing
catch me at the club like
do you ever think about the fact that like…. there’s rocks that were used to build castles that have since fallen and there’s rocks that have been launched in catapults and there’s rocks that have been used to kill people and they’re All Still Here like. some of them have probably eroded down and a few have become sand but the same atoms are in the same order carrying the same history. and we’ll probably never know it all! even the rocks don’t know!!
there’s a rock out there that’s had the blood of ancient kings spilled on it, that’s served as the foundation for old mead halls, that’s been catapulted over an enemy defense wall. and does the rock care? no!!!! homeboy’s just sitting in a field letting moss grow on and around him!!!! goals!!!!!
please stop calling Black children who have different interests and tastes white
it’s damaging and alienating
Always relevant
book legolas is pretty cool but film legolas reminds me of one of those incredibly beautiful, incredibly stupid long haired pedigree dogs that you sometimes see in grooming parlours having their claws painted purple. like you could just pick him up and look into his eyes and there would be nothing going on behind them. film legolas has the elvish version of elevator music playing in his head at all times and i honestly love it
someone doing a tarot reading for me: i don’t know what’s going on here like i just keep getting “the fool” over & over again? every card i pull. the whole deck is just “the fool” now. which shouldn’t even be physically possible
me, a fucking fool: figures
How Bert snapped
Ernie: “My waste paper basket. Bert, have you seen my waste paper basket?”
Bert: “Ask me that again and look into my eyes.”
these puppets are more real than real people
The Walt Disney Company: Get Disney to reverse their trademark of “Hakuna Matata”
They are just unbelievable!
THIS BITCH DISNEY TRIED IT WITH “DÍA DE LOS MUERTOS” TOO
you know who’s annoyingly good at this?? stephanie beatriz. (©brooklyn 99 fb)
PLOT twist, stephanie beatriz is the real life amy of the show
He’s doing such a good job 😭
me: oh yeah i’ll watch [insert mega popular easily-accessed netflix thing] at some point
me:
Lately I’ve been getting most of my pep talks from Mister Rogers.
Great. Now I’m disappointing Mr. Rogers.
Mr. Rogers is not disappointed in you. He’s proud of you for listening and thinking about what he said, and he hopes it plants a seed where sometimes maybe you notice yourself making an unhealthy choice and recognize it, because that’s the first step towards growth towards your best and healthiest self, which is a journey and a process, not an ideal state of which you are falling short.
Mr. Rogers loves you for just your being you.
me whenever i hear a girl with a deep voice talk
This single post made me feel so great. I’m very self concious about my voice 🖤 Thank you