Sassy Redhead

[princessred101-deactivated20230]

[onelittlekingdom]

Have you ever not been in the mood to do what your little does? Example, it seems like all the movies I pick out for my LDR date days are shot down (a majority being disney/smol movies). Do you run into this problem?

We absolutely have moments where we want to go in different directions. What it comes down to, is you have to compromise and work it out together before you, as the Dom, make a decision about what you will be watching. Here’s how I see negotiation movies long distance...

The lazy or soft Dom will let the little girl watch whatever she wants, whenever she wants. They won’t want to put in the work necessary to reach a compromise.

The Domly Dom who is all about their own Domliness will choose what they will watch every time, because he is in charge, and apparently this means their submissive no longer has needs, wants, or preferences worth being concerned about. 

A good Dom will find a way to make everyone happy in the end. Strive to be a good Dom in this situation. A good Dom might have their submissive make a list of movies they want to watch, and they will choose what they like best from that list. A good Dom might propose they take turns picking and exposing each other to their favorite films, or to let their submissive earn their individual choice of film with a task(s), but they will seek negotiation and compromise, and put in some effort before making their decision as to how the film being watched, will be selected.

A D/s dynamic is not the end of compromise, nor does it forbid the submissive from having a valid and valued voice within the relationship. Work it out together, then when you are satisfied with the compromise, tell her what you’ll be watching. 

[onelittlekingdom]

So me again! I talked to my dada, and told him I need him more than just sexually. Then he blamed it on How I'm just so beautiful he needs me sexually every day, when I told him I can't do that because physically I can't, I'm not comfortable his word were "don't make me heat on you".... I cried myself to sleep. We argued for a good four hours after. And he would say"stop being a brat" "I know you love me just say it" "I would never hurt you why are you doing this?" I... i.. don't know what to do

This is deplorable Daddy behavior Miss. The problem is NOT with you, and ENTIRELY with Him. If His reaction to you expressing your needs and wants in your relationship is to basically say He can’t change or help the way He’s doing things, and ultimately to blame you for not liking what He’s putting on the table in front of you, than I think it’s time to admit that your “new” Daddy isn’t very concerned about how to be a good Daddy, or about whether your wants and needs are being met, and cut your losses by cutting Him loose. You can teach Him His first lesson as a new Daddy, and that is, that if He can’t do His part in the relationship, that little girls are going to take back their submission, and leave Him without the privilege of owning one.

[desiretostimulate]

[tidewalker77]

I know many women like this, right here in Tumblr for example. Nurses that have battled the Covid war, mothers trying to hold it together with family members battling cancers and making sure the kids make soccer practice. The list goes on. Unfortunately, it is called life. Men go through it also. All you can do is push forward.

[alibabe48]

Absolutely this. I am so grateful that despite having not gotten a bit of sleep last night, I am not as tired as I was all week. Somedays our lives weigh us down. Thank you to those who reach out in support…🕉

[ambidisastrous]

I made these in response to hate crimes in my community. They are full size and free to download and print if you’d like to use them, too.

[ambidisastrous]

Since these are going around, I wanted to fill in some of the gaps! Here are seven more posters for communities under threat. As with the first set, these are completely free to download, print, share, repost, etc with no credit needed. This is open source activism.

[papaspuppy]

Boost @instructor144 @itsallprimal

[soontobedvm]

Happy Pre 4th of July!!

Friendly reminder to bring our anxious furry friends inside tomorrow! Closing the blinds and creating an environment with places for them to feel safe and away from the big booms can help ease their fear. Turning on music, or even having the AC on can help create ambient noise to drown the fireworks out.

If your pet is known to be frightened easily or is very anxious during fireworks, consider visiting your vet to get some medications to make this night a little more manageable. 

Let’s keep our pets safe, happy, and secure this July 4th! 

[haveuseenmyhalo]

Tumblr

Many have been here a long time and many are new to this magical land. Some come for nekkid pics, some come for stories, some come for advice, and others for inspiration.

Those of us that have been here a long time have learned a valuable lesson- people misrepresent themselves more often than not. Narcissists hide their ways, women pretend they are someone they aren’t, unreliable people delete and recreate blogs to try and weasel their way in again. It makes people very cautious - and you SHOULD BE. A blog that’s been here at least as long as I have had posted a phenomenal post about the why’s of being safe (then has a small freak out moment every year when I say “Happy Birthday” 😏😉).

But I’ll also tell you what it can do. It can create lasting marriages. Couples flat out move their whole lives across country for love. I’ve been here enough to see it. Oddly, you become invested in their happiness and can’t wait for them to be together. It also creates friendships that you never want to lose. You find your fridge decorated with their children’s achievements. Pictures of their pets or pictures of your vacations. Sometimes you find a gift you bought just because that you forgot to send 5 years ago (oops..) You cry with their losses and celebrate their wins. You know that in an instant if there is any possible way that you need them and they can help- a flight was purchased before you said “I need you”. You help name puppies, have baby showers from miles away, you lend a 2am shoulder. You inevitably will say prayers regardless of what god you believe in when they get sick, and cry in a way you never thought possible when they pass on. You feel fuzzy every time you see their advice and you slow down and read it over and over bc you know- they were brilliant. You take up running bc they inspire you (ugh… thanks for that) and you tag each other in things that make you think of them. Sometimes loyalty is won with just 4 words … (like “He’s Dead to me” ) Sometimes you buy a baby dragon stuffy just bc it will remind you when you are sad of someone that always makes you laugh. So while the talk of tumblr is forever changing- these are the things that don’t. I know I will forget some tags. I know some blog names have changed and any mistake are 100% mine. What are your thoughts?

@asubssoul2013 @atdaddysfeet @brilliantlybeloved @cravehiminallways212 @hissexydisaster @hiswifeslut @daddyslittleflame @demons--angel @dinodaddy @dori007 @dominantbydefault @submissiveinclination @submissivebydefault @instructor144 @lilmiss-d @itsallprimal @itsshinycollectordestinyworld @fetishrekindle @magpie-69 @slinkygrl @sleepinsidemysoul @slomosuicide @savage-gentleman-wolf @heygingergirl @thatgirljenifer @hecallsmehisprincess @love-protect-provide-discipline @lattes-laughter-andlovenotes @yes-i-could-be-the-walrus @velvtangel @schavage33

So many more that I’m drawing blanks. I’m even holding my hand made bunny by a good friend and for the life of me I can’t think of the blog. Smh. The pressure. Eek!

[submissiveinclination]

This is perfect. And true. Here is where i found my trove of women, learned so many things, let go of so many things… i love you @haveuseenmyhalo and all of my sisters (and some misters).💜

[everythingfox]

Beware of dog

(via)

[instructor144]

Your morning cuteness.

[manderz82]

[originallandlockedmariner]

[tidewalker77]

You are you know.

[ernmark]

We’ve Got Depression All Wrong. It’s Trying to Save Us.

New theories recognize depression as part of a biological survival strategy.

Sometimes the threat is so bad or goes on for so long, that the nervous system decides there is no way to fight or to flee. At that point, there is only one option left: immobilization.

This article has an interesting take on depression and why it exists in the first place– and some of this includes stuff that I and other depressed people have observed firsthand over the years.

Disassociation adds a layer of distance between the mind and the thing that’s causing it pain. Anhedonia cuts off all good feeling– but it dulls the intensity of harmful feelings, too. Those huge chunks of missing or fuzzy memory are often times when some part of your brain decided that you were more likely to survive if this period of time wasn’t clearly encoded. 

And it brings to mind that often, the first feelings that return when I start to rise out of anhedonia are anger and frustration and rage. Looking at this model, it seems like that’s the fight response booting back up so you can finally get yourself out of whatever situation hurt you in the first place. 

And I think that’s why a lot of people get brief episodes of serious depression– like after the death of a loved one or a natural disaster or other major things that they can’t possibly control– or even ‘less’ serious depression after a major disappointment, a breakup, etc. And then there are people like me where that protective mechanism went a little haywire and it kept going even after I got to a better situation. 

And I think this is valuable to know– because if a major trigger is the feeling of no control, then understanding it properly can put some of that control back into our hands. 

[three--rings]

I’ve always said about depression that a lot of depression is a response to environmental stimulus.  Sometimes it’s acute, like a death or whatever.  But a lot of the time, in our modern world it’s chronic.  An employment situation that is necessary to endure.  Modern schooling.  An abusive family one can’t escape.  An unhappy marriage.  Dealing with chronic illness.  (Poverty on its own and in conjunction with the above, of course.)  Pervasive racism. 

In those cases, it’s not so much that the brain is simply wired badly, it’s that it’s trying to cope with a stressor that we must endure rather than flee or fight.  Medication and therapy can help with both innate depressive brain malfunctions and ones that have environmental causes, but the treatment should be angled slightly differently.  And it’s always worthwhile to consider how to escape or remove the underlying cause WHEN POSSIBLE. 

But yes, in some people, this mechanism isn’t so much heywire as super sensitive, I believe.  I see most mental illness as similar to normal human brain processes that exist in everyone, but dialed up all the way to 11 with the knob broken off.

[rumade]

When I first experienced depression as a teenager, I was being bullied at school and then going home where my brother would literally repeatedly tell me over and over that I was worthless and ret*rded. My school had a strong academic focus and constantly felt like I was failing, which was stressful and gave me such bad anxiety I would wake up at 5am and rush out to school. I remember beating myself up because I “had nothing to be depressed about”.

A few years ago I was sharing the story of the start of my depression with a friend and they said “of course you were depressed and wanted to die- who wouldn’t when enduring that every day”. And suddenly I could see it.

[instructor144]

An interesting perspective on depression. Over the years I’ve come to think that there really ought to be some granularity with depression, much as there is with diabetes. We have Type 1 and Type 2 diabetes. One is a basic biological defect, while the other might be called “situational” or “environmental” diabetes. I think a similar distinction is in play with depression. We might speak of “Type 1 depression,” a basic brain chemical defect. And we might speak of “Type 2 depression,” caused by our environment, situation, life experiences in the past, etc. Even experiences one endured very far in the past can contribute to “Type 2″ depression if those long-gone experiences still carry the same “emotional charge” for a person as they did when the experiences originally happened. “Type 1 depression” is best addressed with medication, while “Type 2 depression” is a somewhat more convoluted knot to unravel. I guess one would say it’s best treated with “therapy,” broadly defined. My boy TR had classic “Type 2 depression,” and his “therapy” was to self-medicate with vigorous, relentless activity. I’ve emulated that method for my own “Type 2 depression,” to good effect. But I think everyone needs to find the “therapy” that works best for them.

[nurseaware]

Hey, lovely! 💖 I have a question! During your journey as a submissive so far, is there anything (rule, task, sex-related stuff, etc) that you expected to enjoy but ended up not enjoying it? Or didn’t expect to enjoy but ended up enjoying it after all?

Oh goodness, these are excellent questions!

Something I thought I would enjoy but didn’t... Something I didn’t expect to enjoy but do... Turns out they are one in the same.

Originally, I thought I wanted a strict Master. (I’m seriously looking over my shoulder right now making sure SS isn’t seeing this 😂)

I really had an ideal in my head of a Master/slave relationship with little-to-no wiggle room, high protocol, and swift punishments. In hindsight, I think this was more of my fantasy of D/s rather than the reality.

What I’ve found that I never expected is that my husband, my Dom, has been a Caregiver and a Daddy all along. What I ‘found’ was a new way to see what his actions really meant as opposed to my assumptions. Please hold your gasps and understand that these realizations were truly surprising to me in my journey...

He can still be in charge when he’s serving me. Whether it’s making dinner, putting gas in my car, or getting me a glass of wine, it’s his decision to show his love through acts of service.

His decision to ‘talk about’ an error rather than punish is still his decision. He is still in charge.

When he chooses an option (in any situation) that I suggested, that is his decision. He is still in charge no matter who suggested it.

When he boops me on the nose after our morning protocol, it doesn’t detract from the meaning. He’s not less of a Dom if he thinks I’m adorable.

When he praises me for things I think I should be expected to do, he means it. He’s not trying to flatter me.

It’s okay to ask for rules, to ask to be held accountable, to ask for punishments when you need them. Asking does not throw your dynamic into chaos. He is still in charge of his response.

Indulging in my desires (my wants) does not make him less of a Dom. This one is still hard to remember. He knows he can say no. When he chooses to let me buy something I don’t need, when he let me adopt another kitten, when he lets me stay up just one more hour... I know he’s indulging me. But it’s his choice to do so.

These things all turned my original expectations about D/s upsidedown! One thing that helped me through our early months was this mantra: Let go and let him lead. Okay, let’s be real, it still helps. Our D/s looks nothing like what I imagined starting out. Instead it is so much better!

[nyxidervish-deactivated20210518]

Oh I love this @nurseaware 🧡 great description of discovering the dynamic unique to you both as individuals rather than working top down and trying to act in service to an ideal.

[triskeleaficionado]

Depression Gotcha?

Take a shower. Not a bath, a shower. Use water as hot or cold as you like. You don’t even need to wash. Just get in under the water and let it run over you for a while. Sit on the floor if you gotta.

Moisturize everything. Use whatever lotion you like. Unscented? Dollar store lotion? Fancy 48 hour lotion that makes you smell like a field of wildflowers? Use whatever you want, and use it all over your entire dermis.

Put on clean, comfortable clothes.

Put on your favorite underwear. Cute black lacy panties? Those ridiculous boxers you bought last christmas with candy cane hearts on the butt? Put them on.

Drink cold water. Use ice. If you want, add some mint or lemon for an extra boost.

Clean something. Doesn’t have to be anything big. Organize one drawer of a desk. Wash five dirty dishes. Do a load of laundry. Scrub the bathroom sink.

Blast music. Listen to something upbeat and dancey and loud, something that’s got lots of energy. Sing to it, dance to it, even if you suck at both.

Make food. Don’t just grab a granola bar to munch. Take the time and make food. Even if it’s ramen. Add something special to it, like a soft boiled egg or some veggies. Prepare food, it tastes way better, and you’ll feel like you accomplished something.

Make something. Write a short story or a poem, draw a picture, color a picture, fold origami, crochet or knit, sculpt something out of clay, anything artistic. Even if you don’t think you’re good at it. Create.

Go outside. Take a walk. Sit in the grass. Look at the clouds. Smell flowers. Put your hands in the dirt and feel the soil against your skin.

Call someone. Call a loved one, a friend, a family member, call a chat service if you have no one else to call. Talk to a stranger on the street. Have a conversation and listen to someone’s voice. If you can’t bring yourself to call, text or email or whatever, just have some social interaction with another person. Even if you don’t say much, listen to them. It helps. (You can always call/text/message me!)

Cuddle your pets if you have them/can cuddle them. Take pictures of them. Talk to them. Tell them how you feel, about your favorite movie, a new game coming out, anything.

May seem small or silly to some, but this list keeps people alive. 

*** At your absolute best you won’t be good enough for the wrong people. But at your worst, you’ll still be worth it to the right ones. Remember that. Keep holding on.

*** In case nobody has told you today, I Love you and you are worth your weight and then some in gold, so be kind to yourself and most of all keep pushing on!!!!

*** People don’t fake depression... They fake being ok.

Find something to be grateful for!

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

Hours: Available 24 hours. Languages: English, Spanish.

800-273-8255

~

Text Crisis Hotline:

Text 741741

~

Canadian Suicide Prevention Service:

Phone [phone]

Text: 45645

~

Canadian Crisis Text:

686868

💙

[justcatposts]

What is going on here  🙌😂🐈  THIS SHIT MY FAVORITE SONG JUST DON’T KNOW THE WORDS

(credit: crispy flan on tiktok)

[onelittlekingdom]

A Note For Dom(me)s Managing A Sub’s Turbulent Emotional State…

Nine times out of ten, you are not responsible for your sub’s emotional state. Maybe the day has become challenging in a way that’s overwhelming for them. Maybe something has happened that has triggered emotional upheaval. Whatever it is about, if it isn’t about you and your relationship, you need to remind yourself that you cannot control your sub’s emotional state, and NOT put yourself in a similar state when attempting to help her. You need to let go of this idea that because she has given you control, you now should be able to magically snap your fingers and make her all good again when the shit hits the fan. You can’t change or control her emotional state like that, and to make yourself crazy about it is a help to neither you, or your sub.

What you can do, is implement strategies and methods that are likely to help her harness her chi and come back to herself. What you can do, is remain calm and communicative, to remind your sub that you are there, that they are not alone, and to let them see your strength and control. 

When your sub loses control of their emotions, you need to go the other way. Counterbalance their fear and sadness with your strength, their confusion with your focus, and their turbulent heart, with your focused mind. 

JerseyDaddy🌹

[writingsforwinter]

If you lose interest in someone, tell them. 

If you’re not looking for a relationship, tell the person you’re seeing.

If you’re thinking of ghosting someone, tell them.

If you can’t handle meeting up with someone after all, tell them.

If you’re terrible at responding to messages, tell people.

If you prefer talking in person to texting, tell people. 

If you’re seeing several people at the same time, tell them.

If you’re looking for sex rather than dating, tell the person you’re seeing.

It is not difficult to be a decent and honest, open, communicative human being. Respect those whom you interact with and have relationships with by telling the truth instead of leading them on or being deceitful.

[sixpenceee]

A beautiful work of art called: “Slipping Through My Fingers” Part of an art collection called “Synchronism” | source