Message me if you wanna buy me a sex toy

I'm Fiona and the future hates me Am I gay still? Maybe. Maybe not. Probably bi. INFP 21 PA (she/her/they/them) Tagged/aj is my tagged/me

[bigmeatpete69420]

You can give a cat a pill 3 times and then they will have your move set memorized and will animation cancel a swallow

[flipchild]

[flipchild]

[powerburial]

picking the torture option and the next day the first thing he does right off the bat is make me eat a really big live spider

[wyrmicelli]

me tongue-deep in a sandalwood candle: 🤤

the tjmaxx employee loading a fourth tranquilizer dart into their blowgun: i need backup

[quixoticornithologist]

there are sounds that only bald people can hear

[wizardlyghost]

[dogpuppy]

[kosmicpowers]

"nuwho is too sexual" every character in classic who is 000.1 seconds away from fucking sloppy style have you fucking seen Delgado Master and the way he looks at the Third Doctor with some sort of psychotic need to bend him over and take it raw

[iwannabeaswampwitch]

Lots of drama in our household

[iwannabeaswampwitch]

Lots of drama in our household

[cheddar-baby]

i could smell your boytoy coming from down the road. Wretched little rotted morsel of a thing, may he fall to time and become carrion

[deirdreskye]

Dude frying my tendies at the raising cane's has the black nitrile gloves over the hairy forearms this is not good. Puppy's leaking. The situation in my Target boxer briefs is gonna go from Gushers to Go-Gurt real fast here. I'm so horny I deserve to have copper wire snaked through my teeth

[rednines]

If the backrooms post can get a movie then so can this

[malkavianbrat]

I want to believe

[silliest--billiest]

i love making art

[silliest--billiest]

-1hp

[silliest--billiest]

-1hp

[silliest--billiest]

-1hp

[silliest--billiest]

-1hp

[silliest--billiest]

-1hp

[orcarriagesthatwork]

I think about this cake every day

[tizzymcwizzy]

sorry for exposing your tags but this is hilarious

[microsuedemouse]

OP, I hope you don’t mind me making an addition:

When I turned 17, we ordered a cake at the grocery store for my party, as we’d done many times before. If you wanted something written on the cake you’d write it into a section of the order form. We requested, very simply, “Happy Birthday Courtney”. When we went to pick it up the day of the party, this is what we got.

The bakery employees had absolutely no explanation for this. The order form, attached to the box, very clearly did not contain any of those extra names. Whomever had done the writing was no longer in, so there was no one to ask how this had happened. The fact that the name ‘Juan’ is misspelled bewilders me to this day. (I’ve never seen ‘Miley’ without the E, either, but it’s believable that someone might spell it that way.) Did this cake slip in from an alternate universe where I’m one quarter of a set of Hispanic quadruplets? Dyslexic Hispanic quadruplets, maybe?

This cake became the focal point of my party. At least two of my friends regularly called me ‘Courtney Mily Jaun Pablo’ for years to come. My siblings and I still reference it sometimes, eleven years later. It is probably the funniest thing ever to occur at any birthday celebration of my life, and may well remain so for the rest of my days.

I love a botched cake.

[helenarth]

one time me and some pals spotted one of those big cookie cakes in a store. it was done up with red icing and little X's for kisses and in the middle it said

No One Like You

now, it took us a while to realise it meant "(there is) no one like you". at first, we all parsed it as a botched "no one like(s) you"

for ages after when we'd wind each other up we'd declare "NO ONE LIKE YOU ☹️👎"

[itseasytoremember]

I just feel like it's important to post the Sacred Texts

[piesollo]

I love this creature so much

[animentality]

me.

[the-rainbow-of-doom]

To give more context: The reviewer was Jean Lorrain, who also was gay. Both showed up to the duel and both missed on purpose.

[stardusted-cirby]

gay people can never just ask each other out

[jbweld]

tumblr users act like any day now the first weed overdose death is coming

[jbweld]

let's all green out together and pass away

[mochlus]

Disney is doing crazy things in the japanese mobile game sphere rn

[mochlus]

you may be familiar with disney twisted wonderland, the gacha game in which various disney villains are used as direct inspiration for handsome anime boys. well that game was so successful that disney is trying to do it again but this time they're just animeboyifying whatever

here's mickey, goofy, donald, and chip & dale. yeah they turned mickey & friends into anime boys. they're an idol unit or something. they're technically not anime boy versions of the source characters, they have different names. mickey's guy is "Neo Michel". not michael, michel, like he's french. chip & dale are "Ruska Moncrief" and "Ranka Monk", they have different last names, they're not brothers anymore so that they can be yaoibait instead, anyways this post isn't actually about these guys I'm just setting the stage for the actual humanizations I wanted to show you

They also did monsters inc. And. Well it's obvious from the designs who mike and sully are. but you will also notice. the blonde one on the left. with glasses. monsters inc is kind of famously about just the two guys so they didn't really have a lot of other non-villain characters to take anime boys inspiration from, I guess, so, well,

Yeah it's her. they made an anime boy version of the mean receptionist slug. her name is roz btw, as all of boygachagame twitter has become extremely aware of in the past 3 days as we speculated prior to the release of the full image who tf the third guy was. the anime boy's name is "noah slugger". at this point no parody of the types of things gacha games will make gijinkas of will ever be able to live up to what disney is officially spending their own real money on designing

[sentienttoast]

this is the truest thing I've ever read in my life