Saturn 🥴

@officialsaturn but all the random shit i post lol

[gengario]

staying up really late is comforting. the world stops expecting things from you. it’s just quiet for a while.

[amphibifish]

never do any sort of collaborative storytelling with your friends youll get addicted for life

[penis-keeper]

You guys know how to travel in a car with your canes, right? You know where to put them so they don’t kill you in an accident? You’re not just holding them on your lap?

[penis-keeper]

For the record they go under your feet or under the seat. That’s the safest place for them except the trunk. Pls don’t let your mobility aid kill you in a freak accident

[sageinterlude]

I’ve been driving with my cane wrong the entire time 😃

[penis-keeper]

If this post saves even just one (1) person from ending up with a broken jaw/face/windshield I will be happy tbh

Nobody deserves to have to deal with maxillofacial surgeons or worse…. auto glass repair shops

[abbiistabbii]

The Germans really cooked making "Hobbyless behaviour" an insult. It is both devastating, applicable to a wide range of people and behaviours, and doesn't resort to swearing.

Man ranting on the internet about the Superbowl halftime show or complaining that something is "woke"? Hobbyless Behaviour. Girls mocking another girl for not looking right? Hobbyless Behaviour. Mindless vandalism? Hobbyless Behaviour.

It is more powerful than "get a life" or the English "You're Sad" because it gets to the central point of the matter, and that is wonderful. Danke, Deutsch.

[saturnshitposts]

in the mood for a specific vibe of fic that kny but alas, the regular haunts have failed me :(

[sprigsniffing-nymph]

Help a transfem move out of an abusive home

Hiya, I'm Kaelli. I'm currently stuck living in an abusive home with transphobic parents, all trapped inside a transphobic southern state. I have the chance now finally to have somewhere to go, but I need help getting and staying there. Moving isn't cheap, especially fleeing from your country. Please, if you have anything you might be able to give, I would be so grateful to have support to be able to move and live with my wife in a safer country.

My goal is to have enough money to get a plane ticket there, as well as having enough to cushion for a small bit of time on getting there to pay for bills and food and any further needs as I get a job there.

If you cannot donate, that is ok, all I ask is to please share this to help me get reach on this. $742/$5,500

Support Kaelli

Support Kaelli

[beemovieerotica]

the cognitive dissonance from people who want the products of modern medicine but get weird about animal research. like im sorry but this is necessary for the survival of the society we currently live in. and the scientists who work on these things are not evil cackling psychopaths. anyone you talk to in animal research has incredibly complex feelings about their work and incredibly complex relationships to the animals in their care. there are regulations and oversight and penalties in place to make the work as humane as possible and scientists are overwhelmingly the ones enforcing and advocating for better care.

[beemovieerotica]

@velvetdemon I'm doing a full reply because I want to give this question the time and space it deserves, and I really do appreciate your curiosity about this.

The short answer: It is deeply unethical. There are nowhere near enough willing patients in the world to be able to do this, and it would be criminal to put them through this.

The long answer: The one side of the equation you're focusing on is: how much of a drug is too much, to the point where it will cause negative side effects or even death? And this is crucial to know. But it's not just a matter of finding out the lethal dosage of a heart cholesterol medication, you need to know that it can actually lower the cholesterol of any living thing. There is no way to know this without giving it first to...a living thing.

But beyond this, I need to emphasize: The goal of a drug trial is to effectively cure people who are already suffering from disease, who are living on limited time.

Drug trials don't just happen on any member of the public, they need to happen specifically on people affected by the disease you're trying to treat. There is at any time a very limited and very marginalized population of the world affected by early onset, familial Parkinson's disease. Because you cannot ethically induce disease in a human being, you are working with, speaking with, and helping patients and their families who are hopeful and desperate for a cure.

If you were to jump straight to human trials from petri dishes, not knowing absolutely anything about how the drug functions in a living, breathing animal body, it would look like this:

We didn't know that minute quantities of the drug interact lethally with x, y, z medication that people are commonly also taking. X number of patients have died as a result.

We didn't know that the drug is fatal to people with [common variant] in their genetics. X more patients have died.

We didn't know the drug exacerbates x, y, z chronic illnesses. X number of people have acquired permanent, lifelong disabilities.

We didn't know the best way to deliver the drug, so we tried multiple ways: the people who received it intravenously are now suffering from a painful, costly, and debilitating condition that did not happen with the ingested form.

I could go on, and on, and on.

The vast majority of these problems can be nearly or almost entirely averted by testing other animals first.

These are all people who possibly could have waited for the normal progression from animal testing to human testing and thus received better outcomes. Some people will pass away in the time it takes to get to that point, and that's heartbreaking, and we all wish science could be faster.

But the cost of expediting science could mean a life of profoundly greater suffering or an even shorter life than the one where no intervention happens at all. And at that point, you have completely exhausted your trust, your goodwill, and your patients' hope, after you've failed to do anything or even worsened the lives of people who are already deeply suffering.

[manslaughter]

hi, i’m an animal research professional. making sure laboratory animals stay alive, healthy, and enriched has been my full-time job for several years now.

animal research is not the mad scientist wild west that PETA wants you to think it is. there are extremely strict federal laws in place to protect the well being of these animals. animal welfare organizations like AAALAC ensure that lab animals are treated with dignity & respect and are given enough specialized care & enrichment to be happy and content in captivity, just like AZA accreditation with zoos.

not a single animal from a zebrafish to a mouse to a dog to a macaque goes unaccounted for. if an animal gets moved to a new cage, paired for breeding, has a procedure performed on it, gives birth, gets sick or injured, dies, etc. it is legally required that this information is recorded and kept on file for the US federal government to access. failing to record & retain this information is very much punishable by US federal law.

let me tell you - if you abuse or kill an animal, even a mouse - you are almost certainly getting both fired & blacklisted from the industry. if you abuse or kill a more ‘advanced’ animal, such as a dog or monkey, you will likely face criminal charges. killing a monkey is as serious and disastrous as a nuclear meltdown. you are expected to reasonably explain every illness, injury, or death of an animal under your care. you must record all of this information. animals that are clearly suffering with low QOL are required to be euthanized according to AVMA guidelines.

research animals are highly expensive. yes, even the "lesser" animals like mice. the cheapest mice will run you a few hundred $ per individual, with some of the most expensive mice i've cared for being $25,000 per individual. in research we have the "three Rs" - reduction (reduce amount of necessary animals to a minimum), refinement (refine processes to ensure research is accurate and animals feel no pain or distress), and replacement (replace animals with non-living research models as they become available). i can assure you no proper research team is wasting animals (*do not* say "b-b-but elon musk--" his research team is actively being investigated for animal abuse by the government).

research methods that do not require live animals are currently being looked into & efforts spearheaded by - you guessed it - the animal research industry itself (notice how the animal rights people are strangely silent & unhelpful when it comes to this?) but current technology is rudimentary and does not compare to live animal models.

some research animal fun facts (US edition):

all species of animals are only allowed to have one single major surgery performed on them in their entire lifetime.

institutions with nonhuman primates must have a behavior program in place (run by knowledgeable primate specialists) to ensure that they are happy and receiving enough daily enrichment and social interaction.

institutions with dogs are required to have physical exercise programs in place. this means every individual dog gets a substantial amount of leashed AND free-roaming exercise daily, including playgroups with other dogs.

a majority of nonhuman primates get to retire to sanctuaries like peaceable primate sanctuary, and almost all dogs get retired and adopted out by organizations like homes for animal heroes. some institutions will also adopt out unneeded young rabbits, guinea pigs, rats, etc.

some strains of mice glow neon green (or orange or blue) under UV light. this is not harmful to them and is commonly seen in cancer research.

so yes, you can rest knowing that laboratory animals are treated with the utmost respect by their caretakers. and you can stop this awful, ignorant talk of human experimentation that will only end in the abuse of nonwhite people, LGBT people, disabled people, indigenous people, and so many others. please just take a look at this wikipedia page if you think “ethical” human experimentation can exist.

[cali]

soundscape of young green martian playing with pvc pipes

[dralphabet]

[dehydratedlydia]

I love this video so much it brings me so much joy every time it crosses my dash again

[saturnshitposts]

I’m getting “old” ahahaha

and yeah i do mean that literally. i AM indeed getting old… er. But! that is not my plight today OHNO!! no my dear friends, let me take you on this travesty of a tale.

and forgive whatever format this comes out in, this is in fact being typed on my phone and WILL NOT BE CORRECTED EVER!!!

So here’s the thing, i graduated hell high school in 2023 after 5 years of that crap (stfu i had my reasons) and decided that working with children was my calling!!

Now here’s some very important things to know about me outside my career!!

1. I dislike every child who is not blood related to me (yes as what is basically still a child i am saying this)

2. i never want children. ever.

3. i am not a particularly well tempered person outside of my workplace

now here’s the thing. i don’t really use social media anymore for a myriad of reasons, but a big one is the amount of young people on these platforms. gen alpha.

NOW DO NOT GET ME WRONG!!!!!! I WAS A POS WEIRDO TEEN AND CHILD!!!! THIS IS NOT THE PROBLEM!!!

the problem is there are very young children with access to these platforms, and they aren’t having positive experiences or healthy experiences in the long run. there are so many kids who are about to graduate highschool and can’t read, or do basic math. there are students who didn’t know how to do their own laundry or clean their bathroom properly. there is a level of blatant ignorance and disregard for education in all forms that just truly makes me want to yell into the void about ‘kids these days’…

maybe i’m just an unpleasant and shockingly early reflection of the same old people we used to mock about their hatred for us. about kids those days. but it bugs me. we are quickly sliding backwards in history, and it starts with our youngest..

[willgrahamscock]

there’s absolutely nothing better than reading a 100k word fanfic, that is until you remember you have a body that is starving, thirsty and incredibly sleep deprived and hasn’t used the bathroom since the sun set 8 hours ago

[willgrahamscock]

me cross eyed and seeing double:

[orpheusilver]

masturbation is evil not for any puritan anti-fun reason but because it has permanently claimed so many verbs

[orpheusilver]

nobody can crank anything anymore. and god forbid you jerk

[orpheusilver]

turning off rbs at 75k btw so get your last reblogs in now

[enderwalking]

man. remember when phil was chilling in techno's house and left the doors open so a creeper wandered in and exploded in his face like 15 minutes before lore was scheduled to start, so he and ranboo had to frantically reassemble the whole room including trying to piece together all the map fanart before techno got home. cannot believe we got an absolutely top tier character moment out of philza minecraft zoning out and forgetting to close the doors while he talked to chat. just absolutely impeccable.

[enderwalking]

the clip for those asking!

[smallishbabes]

EDIT: And here’s an animatic of it too!

https://youtu.be/ukquxONMQeE

[enderwalking]

in honor of 2k notes on my silly reminscing, some additional details i remember:

people have pointed out that phil did not in fact just zone out, he was having technical issues with his stream and was alt-tabbed fixing things, and just. forgot that he was still logged into the server at the time. you hear the explosion of the creeper while he's in full-screen facecam, then he switches back to game view to a scene of complete devastation.

(it was, however, still his fault for leaving the doors open. sorry phil, can't defend you for that one.)

phil pulled up the same video tutorial that techno used for his cabin for reference during his repairs, and had a good laugh over discovering the fact that the maker of the tutorial had changed the title to include "technoblade's house"

ranboo enters the scene to phil frantically piecing together map art and just. looks on in horror for a good few minutes before they eventually join a call together. he futilely attempts to message phil in the game chat that the art he is working on requires an extra row of item frames. it does not work.

techno starts his stream in the nether and begins by saying that for Some Reason, his dogs have teleported to him. he has no idea why this could be. (it is because the explosion broke the boat they were sat in.) his entire chat is filled with people saying NO SNITCHING, to which he acts very confused.

when techno finally makes it back home, it is largely fixed up, and he is greeted by an overly cheery phil and ranboo. at some point into the conversation, he casually says, "why does it smell like gunpowder?" and phil and ranboo quickly usher him outside.

this will not be the last time techno references the incident; later, when he tours ranboo's house (shortly after ranboo finally adds walls to his shack), they discuss having parrots, and ranboo brings up the annoyance of constant creeper noises, saying that he would rather not just get desensitized to the sounds of creepers in his home. techno replies by saying, "yeah, but it's not like a creeper would actually get in my house, you'd have to leave the doors open for that". ranboo laughs and quickly changes the subject.

to summarize: funniest bit of All Time

[i-reblog-technoblade]

This post has Technoblade in it

[secundus-cinaedus]

cure of ra

[madame-helen]

Now its blessing of Ra

[thereadingaddic7]

"Sunburn will give you skin cancer"

Ra, God of the Sun

[sindri42]

Fungus has done so much for humanity. Penicillin. Radiation cleanup. Delicious mushrooms. Deadly mushrooms. Psychadelic mushrooms. And now my boy RA has chosen the humble mold spores as his vessel through which to cure cancer.

[cyborbs-deactivated20231020]

best thing tumblr ever did for me is the term "rotating it in my mind". it's really true that sometimes you think about something real hard but you can't tell what the thoughts are exactly. it's revolutionary stuff, i might even say

[vulpineprince]

sometimes the subject of your thoughts is just in this thing

[ablondpanda]

Ah, there it is!

The TUMBLER!

[knitmeapony]

The tumblr blorbo in the blorbo tumbler.

[gallusrostromegalus]

At the gate for my flight home from visiting friends and there's a woman here with a service Shiba Inu. No pics because he has a Do Not Disturb vest and taking pics of strangers is illegal but I need to stress how ON DUTY this animal is. Ears up. Eyes doing Lazer scans of everything. Examining everyone who passes within 10ft like a security guard. Ass planted on her feet. I have never seen a dog with such intense chivalric guardian energy before. He has tiny eyebrows and they are FURROWED with concentration.

[gallusrostromegalus]

Man behind me having unhinged phone conversation. There is an internationally famous dairy in the area I was visiting and he was commissioned by the lady on the other end of the phone to collect specific cheeses from there. The lady is very high strung about the type and condition of the cheese.

The man does not know from cheese. The man "ain't never seen no cheese but orange before" and "I showed ya list to the cheese lady so if it's wrong it's her fault ok?"

I am 80% sure she sent him there for a really specific bleu cheese, 40% sure he does not have the very specific bleu cheese, and 100% sure he's done with her shit.

Our flight is delayed.

He does not have the cheeses in a cooler, just a regular backpack.

[gallusrostromegalus]

I need to emphasize that there is no cooler bag in the backpack. He has Jansport backpack that is jam-packed with cheeses. There is apparently $405 dollars worth of cheeses in that backpack, which I know because he has been trying to get the lady to venmo him the expense, which she has failed to do. It is unclear whether his relation to the lady is romantic, familial or what, but I'm leaning towards "what".

Two more people have joined us. One is a very elegant man with a perfect manicure in a tailored business suit, the other is a neon-haired person of indeterminate gender wearing a fox kirigumi. The Shiba Inu has been staring at the latter for three minutes now.

[gallusrostromegalus]

Uh oh.

Cheese man has been demanding payment because apparently he went like six hours out of his way and paid with his own money and between the cheese and price of gas, he is pretty sure he does not have enough money in his account for an Uber home.

The lady is FLABBERGASTED that he is demanding payment at all, as she was under the impression he was doing this for her out of the goodness of his heart.

He's not having it. He's insisting she told him she would pay him back- he would have gotten her maybe one cheese somewhere closer to his business in the area out of love, but he went out of his way because she agreed to pay him costs+ extra to cover it.

[gallusrostromegalus]

HE RECORDED THE CONVERSATION IN WHICH SHE PROMISED TO PAY FOR THE CHEESE, SHE'S THAT MUCH OF A FLAKE.

I am about to offer this man cash for some of these cheeses because our flight is now more delayed.

[gallusrostromegalus]

"YOU ALWAYS DO THIS! YOU ALWAYS DO THIS AND I FALL FOR IT EVERY TIME! NO! NO! FUCK YOU! IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA PAY ME, YOU DON'T GET FANCY CHEESE."

"OR ELSE WHAT?"

"I'm gonna-? THE BABY SHOWER? MONICA CAN'T EVEN HAVE THIS CHEESE SHE'S PREGNANT!"

"The cheese lady asked if it was for someone because the mushrooms or whatever in the cheese are dangerous for the baby or something?? You wanna poison Monica?"

"WHY WOULD I LIE ABOUT THAT?"

"YEAH OF COURSE I GOT THE CHEESE, THATS WHY I DON'T GOT MONEY FOR UBER!"

"YEAH, GO TELL! GO TELL MOMMA I STOPPED YOUR STUPID ASS FROM KILLING MONICA OR THE BABY! FUCK!"

*hangs up phone*

*head in hands, borderline hyperventilating*

The man in the three piece suit is in the chair next to him. He waits a moment, then reaches into his carryon and pulls out an entire bottle of wine with the TSA pre check sticker on it, and taps cheese guy on the shoulder.

"If your friend doesn't want it, would you be amenable to having it right now?"

[gallusrostromegalus]

Naturally, I have volunteered my box of wheat thins and offered to buy one of the harder cheeses which should be fine if it makes it home.

[gallusrostromegalus]

Meanwhile, Kirigumi has noticed that the Shiba Inu is staring at her and is correctly intimidated.

[gallusrostromegalus]

1. This is some fucking great Camembert. I have compensated cheese guy accordingly. So have like six other people. He's recouped like half his losses.

2. Cheese guy is crying a little about the cash and opening up about his problems. The cheese lady is his younger sister. Suit guy is being very generous with his Pinot Blanc. We are having a picnic/improv family therapy session.

3. This is apparently the latest in a long string of his sister asking for something and then flaking when he asks to be paid back. Started with paying him back only some of what he was owed, then claiming something she paid for him was of equal value when it was not, then recently telling him his memory is wrong and he said it was a gift or that he'd do it for free.

"Yeah, the specific thing of trying to convince you your memory is unreliable is called gaslighting and it's really fucked up." I say

"yeeeeah. The other stuff I forgave because she's never really had a good job so she can't pay me back all the time but at least she was making an effort y'know? But that was. That was over the line."

"If you haven't already, check on the rest of your family's finances. My brother started trying to gaslight everyone when he started stealing from our parents." Says Pinot Blanc.

4. Shiba Inu Lady has purchased a cheddar. Apparently, the dog's name is Donut, and he's her service dog because she's severely visually impaired.

"Oh, he's a guide dog?" Asks cheese guy.

"oh, no." She laughs. "He's too short, and the way my eyes are, it's easier for me to navigate with a cane. No, the problem I have is that some morally impaired people see the cane and think they can get away with stealing my bag or assaulting me because I wouldn't be able to give a description- which is wrong, but rather than deal with that I got Donut, and he helps me by howling at anyone who gets in my personal space and biting anyone who grabs me!"

"Uh." Says Kirigumi. "He's been staring at me do I need to back up or..?"

"Ohdear! No, no- He wasn't looking at you! He loves cheese but he knows he's not supposed to beg so he decided the way to deal with something he wants but can't have is to stare in the other direction."

"OKAY!" Says Kirigumi. "I'm wearing fox pajamas and thought like. He thought I was another dog or something."

"No, no- he doesn't care about dogs, and you get a warning before he goes for the calves. Very helpful, when I was living in Italy!"

"Oh what part? I have family in Tuscany." Says Pinot.

"Does he want a cheese? There is still so much cheese." Says cheese guy.

[gallusrostromegalus]

Plane may be arriving. I am paying for in flight WiFi to keep y'all updated.

[gallusrostromegalus]

1. Cheese guy has sold all but two or three cheeses that he an Pinot are going to eat on the flight.

2. I know they're planning to continue because Pinot talked to the gate agent so he and cheese guy can sit together and talk about family drama and cheese.

3. Pinot has been teaching him about different types of cheese and how to enjoy them.

4. Cheese guy apparently repairs computers and other technology devices for a living and is currently doing the software version of scraping barnacles and other crap off Pinot'macbook.

5. Pinot is now convinced that cheese guy is the smartest and most interesting man in the world.

[gallusrostromegalus]

Ok so the Wifi wasn't working on the plane (also like, nonstop turbulence) and also they got seated in a different row from me, but:

Now that I've heard the word aloud, and they are an astrophysicist. Who correctly believes in being comfy as fuck on planes. They are also familar with the concept of a meet-cute and is rooting for them too.

Got to walk the nice lady and her Tactical Assault Shiba to her next gate because it was on the way out and talk for a bit. Donut is called that not because he is the color of a Donut (which he is) but because he likes to sleep curled up in a perfect circle. He has a sister who does the same thing named Bagel.

Lost track of Pinot and Cheeseguy for a bit but when I saw them again at Baggage claim, Cheeseguy was holding both their jackets, and Pinot was on the phone to his hotel about "Well do you have any rooms with TWO beds?". The rest of the call indicated that yes, there were rooms with two beds, but Readers, I Had A Moment.

:)

Anyway, it's 2AM, I need to sleep, if you feel like supporting this kind of hard-hitting reporting, I have a Tip Jar!

[thatclockworkdoll]

Happy (late) Pride Month to Cheese Guy and Pinot Blanc

[valtsv]

i love when i share what seems to me like basic entry-level critical self-awareness advice with other people and they react like i'm a terrifyingly transgressive but tempting corrupting influence. i really missed my calling as one of those villains who are unimpeachably ideologically correct but undermined by a personal deficiency of character that makes them hideously unattractive to anyone more socially adept.

[valtsv]

me: oh no! this person is experiencing shame about something they don't need to! we should offer them a kinder, more forgiving perspective!

the ghoulish wraith in black robes that lives in my throat and speaks all my lines for me: 𝕱𝖊𝖊𝖑𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖌𝖚𝖎𝖑𝖙 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝖘𝖍𝖆𝖒𝖊 𝖆𝖇𝖔𝖚𝖙 𝖙𝖍𝖎𝖘 𝖔𝖓𝖑𝖞 𝖘𝖊𝖗𝖛𝖊𝖘 𝖙𝖍𝖔𝖘𝖊 𝖜𝖍𝖔 𝖘𝖊𝖊𝖐 𝖙𝖔 𝖈𝖔𝖓𝖙𝖗𝖔𝖑 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝖑𝖎𝖒𝖎𝖙 𝖞𝖔𝖚

[glowcowboy]

does anyone wanna hold hands until we feel a little braver

[its-your-mind]

the reblog map is all of us holding hands btw

[beautifulterriblequeen]

We are each other's night sky. No one is alone here.

[dear-ao3]

night sky continues to get brighter. theres always people here for you