VioletWylde

fandom fun, sexy stories, and whatever tickles my fancy

[butchfagminotaur]

just overheard my wife spelling something on the phone and i shit you not saying the words “E as in Eeyore” i am on my hands and knees wailing screaming crying pleading and begging people to learn the NATO phonetic alphabet

[butchfagminotaur]

like the reason this exists is because none of the words sound like each other, which means that even with a terrible signal both parties should be able to clearly understand the words being spelled

i am dead serious that i believe this should be taught in school

[violetwylde]

One time I was reading off a microchip ID and I was like "8-B as in Boy-4-3-E as in... Eye". I immediately knew it was a mistake, but for the life of me couldn't think of another word that started with an E. The client, who was writing down the number, stopped and looked at me. I just pointed to my eye.

[s4mm4n]

God I miss the days when you could show up to a stranger’s farm and he’d say “What’s your name, boy?” and you’d take off your hat and hold it to your chest to better let him see your face and reply “Why I ain’t got none, sir, on account of my mammy passed on before she could give me one” and he’d tell you he’s real damn sorry to hear that and ask what he can do you for and you’d tell him that you can’t read nor even write neither but you’re mighty good with horses and can mend them fallen fence posts what you saw on your way in and won’t ask for nothing much more than a hot meal and a warm barn to sleep in and he’d keep his wife and daughters inside but send his boy who ain’t got married yet even though his mama tells him he needs a woman out with a lantern and some stew at night and the two of you’d get to talkin and he’d throw you his flask to take a swig from and watch you drinkin from it while he leant against the door frame and when he finally got called back on up to the house again he’d take a sip from it too real slow-like like it weren’t the whiskey what he were tryna savour

[daily-spooky]

[violetwylde]

My neighbors would call 911 based on the volume and shrillness of my screaming

[stevenrogered]

it’s almost that time of the year again, so you know what that means

[gaynfl-moved]

[fullmetalfisting]

You know, that’s fair

[faithdeans]

time to see if my old mpreg player works ahhh!!!

[faithdeans]

IT WORKS!!!!

[faithdeans]

MP3 PALYER

[faithdeans]

[gothfoxgirlboy]

Spellcasters hate this fact but if you just stick your fingers in their mouth while they're casting a spell with a verbal component it's literally more effective than a counter spell.

[gothfoxgirlboy]

This also works with pinning their hands against the wall when they're trying to use somnatic components.

[gothfoxgirlboy]

Basically if you make out sloppy style while pressed against a wall the spellcasters can't do anything

[violetwylde]

What bard wrote this?

[animentality]

[violetwylde]

[nadjasnandor]

consuming media like

[redwing]

JAJAKDJFXJKWKAK&&3&;992lekda+{}{+\=\==2858/9/9/&38;9/&:;&:&/&:.

[arctic-ham]

[honuofhawaii]

Maybe it’s not Daddy issues, but you got some issues if you’ve willing put the mark of Cain on yourself!

[feywildfox]

What other people put on their body is generally no one else’s business, and they do not have “issues” for doing something that has meaning to them. Don’t reblig shit to sound condescending about people you don’t know, regardless of what personal meaning that symbol has to you. Let people be people jesus christ

[redwing]

[bundibird]

What @redwing said

[gnashingmaw]

who cares about supernatural can we talk about the way his tits bounce

[gnashingmaw]

[spnblr2021heritageposts]

Date of origin: Apr 4, 2021

[coffeeshib]

WOMEN—

[secretfan03]

The comments on the video crack me up 😂

[sunflowercandie]

[violetwylde]

I'm gonna be real with y'all. I've watched this so many times... And I've never turned on the audio. I'm assuming she's doing a good job. But honestly I don't care.

[ryebreadgf]

[ms-demeanor]

You're on a train in the alps with a beautiful boy,

[nonasuch]

not for long you aren’t

[argumate]

from a moral standpoint tentacles can pleasure men just as much, however male tentical erotica is not as common

I’m sorry a… moral standpoint?

[not-afraid-of-laplaces-demon]

Happiness is a moral imperative.

Now climb into the tentacle pit like a good utilitarian.

[argumate]

grumpily succumbing to the moral imperative of tentacle delivered ecstasy

[gaysie]

[berlynn-wohl]

[laeffy]

Hey tumblr???? Hey fucking tumblr?????

[violentoffender]

hello?

[sreegs]

i am posting once again to remind you that ads with this icon in the top left are from Google Adsense and they use your google history/cookies to customize ads based on what you consume online

next time you go to post some weird fucked up ad on tumblr and you see this icon in it, you may be sharing something you don't others to know about your browsing history

[laeffy]

[wizardpostsdotorg]

“blue hair” this, “pronouns” that. find someone with flowing silver hair and spells

[facelessoldgargoyle]

and big naturals

[gunsandfireandshit]

[starrycattupabove-deactivated20]

tumblr when ur at home: heres some nature pics. heres this cat.

tumblr when you open it in public: H3RES MY LONG AWAITED CLIT REVEAL!! . HERES THIS GUYS ASS.

[wild-moss-art]

This is why I read the reddit comments

[awsydawnarts]