Timor mortis conturbat me.

"The fear of death confounds me." Angry elf mage of 5'1 height. I am: daughter of Hephaestus, INTP, Melancholic, Chaotic Neutral, possessor of Rain flames, Howler

[misscromwellsmonocle]

The Little Art Connoisseur (1863) August Friedrich Siegert

[darnitjack]

Last time this came around I showed my three year old and he said "He's little like me!" and stared for a whole minute (v. Long in toddler time).

[what-even-is-thiss]

Yeah I saw the lovecraftian horrors and didn’t succumb to madness. What- no I’m not a cultist, James. For Christ’s sake. What you’re forgetting my friend is that HP Lovecraft wasn’t a flexible man. His brain simply wasn’t stretchy enough to take it all in. I however, have short term memory issues. Flexibility is the name of the game when you can’t remember if you ate lunch or not. What’s the size of the universe? Big. You knew that already, James. Come on now. You don’t need to witness the terrifying ocean at the base of the entirety of reality itself to know that. Pass the brandy.

[what-even-is-thiss]

You must imagine the character I’ve created here wearing a suit and a monocle, by the way.

[thesilvertophat]

During a Eldritch Horrors based tabletop RPG my character was a young dandy who wasn't particularly interested in all this monster mystery stuff but his father (my brother's character) was a researcher who WAS very into it, so Bertie went along to make sure the old man didn't get into too much trouble. It was your average Eldritch Horrors RPG in that you don't make your characters with the expectation that they will survive for very long, both the game itself and the genre are very intent on turning your characters inside out, driving them insane, and blowing them up in no particular order.

The thing was, everything in this nightmare hellscape just seemed to keep coming up Bertie because the man was too stupid to realize what genre he was in. Every time he had to roll for a sanity check whenever he saw something crazy, the dice treated him so well that he just... didn't get it. Gee that sure is a funny costume. There's something wrong with that dog. These mean guys in stupid hats are trying to hurt that young lady, we can't have that! I had not built him this way, his intelligence stats weren't even that bad, random chance just made it so that this man was living a scooby doo adventure while everyone else was being consumed by The Horrors. The final straw was at the end of an adventure when Bertie escaped from the cultist headquarters by breaking out through the mansion's front window on a motorcycle with a hot rescued sacrificial maiden clinging to his back and leading the cultists on a merry chase through the hedge maze while the other adventurers escaped. His sanity score? HIGHER than when the adventure had begun. He had found the whole experience quite thrilling and felt very good about life in general! Bertie retired from adventuring to marry the maiden he rescued and care for his aging father and delight and bemuse his friends at the gentleman's club with stories of his 'wacky' adventures. I didn't want to risk breaking his ridiculous lucky streak.

[stuckinapril]

I think part of getting better is complete ego death. Like you’re not above setting a timer for 5 minutes and focusing on a task. You’re not above doing a very simple 3 minute workout to start. You’re not above reading for 10 minutes a day when you first get out of your reading slump, even if you used to read for hours. You’re not above starting slow and then building up to where you want to be/where you once were. What you are above is total inertia. Doing something really is better than doing nothing. Radically accept where you are, radically accept your limits, and go from there. Don’t let your ego get in the way.

[softbladee]

im sorry but fenris and carver would have the most IMMACULATE brother-in-law vibes

[sreegs]

the existence of uncanny valley would suggest there is also a canny mountain

[radwolf76]

Canny Mountain, Charlie!

[thememedaddy]

[the-big-mood]

SqueezeIt introduce their new “Color Changing Squeezit” 📺 (1996)

[ruinedchildhood]

[rockonmyfriends]

Okay but the Big Bad Beetleborgs ad

[real-language-facts]

a verb just jumped out of my trash and bit me im really scared do i need to get tested for conjugation

verbs don't carry a lot of diseases actually, if it was a noun then you'd have to get a vaccine or risk getting a bad case of the cases

[official-linguistics-post]

while nouns do carry a risk of cases, PLEASE do not dismiss a verb bite. depending on species, they can carry inflection (such as conjugation, as anon mentioned) or worse: derivation.

[tiktoks-for-my-besties]

[kaogrrl]

[tragbarerpanzrabwehrkomplexfagot]

[hometoursandotherstuff]

[crazy-pages]

Sometimes you try to write one research paper and your subjects inform you that you will be writing an entirely different one.

[paper-wounds]

“If I Am Killed For Simply Living” — Althea Davis

[writing-prompt-s]

”I’ll just get to the point; the dragon that terrorizes our farms isn’t evil, she’s lonely. Solve that and I’ll give you whatever you want within reason. Please.”

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

The knight paused in thought. “Alright, it's a tall order, but I don't mind a challenge.” He snapped his fingers. “Bring me a fireproof suit, all the olive oil you can find and five— no, make it six— bottles of whisky. Tomorrow I ride out to the dragon's lair alone, and NOBODY is to follow me.”

A few hours later, the villagers watched him riding off in his fireproof suit, his oil and whisky in a cart behind him.

“Do you think he's really going to…”

“Surely not.”

“I mean the oil…”

“At least he's considerate.”

“At least he needs whisky.”

For the rest of the day, the villagers went about their chores in the shadow of the mountain where the dragon made her lair, trying not to think about what might be happening up there. At one point there was a sudden rise of smoke, as if a great fire had been lit. Followed by a draconic roar.

At the end of the day, the knight rode down again. The cart was empty. His suit was blackened. He looked exhausted, and was sheened with sweat.

“Job done,” he said as he got down from his horse.

The villagers stared.

“Poor girl is barely out of her first shed. Poor thing. Never been in heat before, didn't know what to do.”

The villagers kept staring.

“Should be alright now.”

The head man of the village felt like he should probably say something. “Are you… are you alright?”

The knight looked down at his suit. “This? Oh yeah, she sent out a few warning shots. Didn't like me getting too close to her lair.”

“So you…” the head man's sentence was cut off by another roar, and the sound of wings flapping overhead. The villagers ducked as one, the knight simply looked up, grinning.

“Olive oil and whisky, never fails.” He looked around at their confused faces. “See, normally the female is meant to build a fire herself to draw the males to her. She produces an oil from her cheek glands that lets them know she's in heat. Burning olive oil and whisky mixed smells the same— at least to a dragon— so you can use it in a pinch.” He pointed upwards. “That'll be the male.”

The villagers were silent. The knight began to feel rather unnerved. “Hey, why are you all looking at me like that?”

[joylessdivisionnn]

I would delete your shitty caption addition in every lifetime

[dailycatsblog]

[anarchopuppy]

dnd setting where dungeons are as ubiquitous as roman ruins are in parts of europe

"i was just trying to dig a pond in my yard when i hit some kinda puzzle door, now i gotta get the adventurers guild involved. they say its gonna take at least 3 months to explore the whole thing, can u believe that?"