FTP

The crown has been sitting on my head for too long it’s starting to give me these lesions

[beardedmrbean]

[beardedmrbean]

Spite can be a incredible motivator

[ryanphantom]

Yeah, a 100% straight guy wore a Brony shirt to school. I just became 20% cooler.

[ryanphantom]

[saintd0nna]

happy pride to him

[trollrider1111]

Gay broke sober king 🤴

[doctor-direst]

Just letting you know that a friend of mine made a freaking ISOPOD bag from leather!!

Name: Zod

Gender: Pod

[jamiebythesea]

Leather Isopod Sling Bag PDF Pattern

Video tutorial: https://youtu.be/jr7K3eDd9hc This sling represents a Giant Deep Sea Isopod, and it's absolutely not an insect, beetle, cockr

[emotionalwords]

i’m such a “i want your attention” but “won’t bother you” kinda person

[virtualgirladvance]

Got that vampire autism where you gotta invite me in every time

[ankle-beez]

So you agree? Countries that supply weapons to other countries that are enacting war should be held responsible for their actions?

[guerrillatech]

[utah-mountain-drifter-deactivat]

[poorghost]

no one follows the trees warning

[rapidashrider]

You know the parable about how the foolish man built his house upon sand and the wise man built his house upon rock and it’s always about having a sturdy foundation well there is also the fact of location which is that the sand probably used to be rock except it’s been eroded to sediment because it’s a FUCKING FLOODPLAIN

[bestest-goblin]

I feel like a dumbass, but @rapidashmascot just revolutionised my understanding of that parable.

[themythicalcodfish]

My family quotes that parable loudly every time another planned housing community on a former floodplain gets inundated with water.

[just-shower-thoughts]

There’s a certain part of the population who knows exactly how large of a cucumber will fit in their anus

[adaswordlace]

christ

[ultimatebottom69]

Non non ils ont raison.

[catchymemes]

[romanceyourdemons]

first day as a second century warlord i have my men tie branches to their horses’ tails to stir up dust and make it look like there’s a lot of us but i forget it just rained so there isn’t any dust and the enemy can clearly see there’s like twenty of us all spread out in a line

[romanceyourdemons]

second day as a second century warlord i bribe a bunch of kids to start singing a nursery rhyme i carefully crafted to spread misinformation and further my strategic ends but they change the lyrics to be about poop and the enemy isn’t misdirected at all

[romanceyourdemons]

third day as a second century warlord i lure my enemy into a narrow valley and send a team of archers to shoot them from the high ground but there was a feral hog napping on the trail up to the overlook and they couldn’t decide whether to try and shoot it or just go around and by the time the hog woke up and left on its own the enemy had already passed safely below

[romanceyourdemons]

fourth day as a second century warlord we attempt to join a battle on the side of the guy we want to ally with but he and the guy he’s fighting have really similar names and it’s finally dusty and i misread the standards and attack the wrong guy. so now we’re stuck with this total loser of a liege lord, because how the fuck do you explain that after a battle?

[romanceyourdemons]

fifth day as a second century warlord and some sort of wizard wanders into camp, my loser liege lord wants to execute him for being a wizard but i convince him to let the wizard stay, because i want to do more weather-based strategies and i’m pretty sure having a camp wizard can help with that. after the welcome to the team banquet the wizard steals half the treasury and my liege lord’s wife and leaves

[romanceyourdemons]

sixth day as a second century warlord my loser liege lord sends me to reinforce a city he’s taken, but in the confusion of leaving i forgot to take the token that would have gotten us into the city, so my men have to wait outside the city walls for like eight hours while i ride back to get it

[romanceyourdemons]

seventh day as a second century warlord and my loser liege lord finally joins me in the city, it turns out he’s actually a pretty cool guy, and he isn’t even that mad at me for letting the wizard steal his wife. i decide to shoot my shot but i’m really nervous and keep on stalling because what if i mess up our relationship and by extension jeopardize the security of my men, and eventually he just says goodnight and goes back to his room, where an assassin is in the process of setting up to kill him

[romanceyourdemons]

eighth day as a second century warlord and my loser liege lord tells me to fake defect to his rival warlord, the one i originally wanted to ally with, to find out if he was the one who sent the assassin and why. but my whole way over to the rival warlord i’m worried that this has something to do with the wizard thing or how awkward i made it last night

[romanceyourdemons]

ninth day as a second century warlord i try to tactfully ask my fake liege lord if he sent the assassin to kill my loser liege lord and it turns out the idea of using assassins never occurred to him, but now that i’ve suggested it he’s really into it. in order to save my loser liege lord i volunteer to be the one to kill him

[romanceyourdemons]

tenth day as a second century warlord on my way back to my loser liege lord’s city i realize i won’t be able to collect my men from my fake liege lord until i bring back my loser liege lord’s head. this would have been a great thing to think of before i got myself in this situation. i go back to my loser liege lord and ask him to rescue my men, and he tells me that if he could sack my fake liege lord’s camp he already would have. that doesn’t change the fact that my men are still trapped. they’re prisoners, even. i go back to my room to sulk

[romanceyourdemons]

eleventh day as a second century warlord i find a little caged pigeon in the rafters of my loser liege lord’s room and deduce it belonged to the assassin. without asking permission or telling my loser liege lord goodbye i let the pigeon loose and follow it north. don’t ask what i was doing in my loser liege lord’s room. it’s not important

[romanceyourdemons]

twelfth day as a second century warlord i disguise myself as a wizard and enter the camp of the coalition leader the pigeon led me to. in the middle of my little sleight of hand performance i make eye contact with the coalition leader’s second-in-command. IT’S THE WIZARD THAT STOLE MY LOSER LIEGE LORD’S WIFE. after the banquet i corner the fake wizard and ask him what the fuck is going on and he just says “wouldn’t you like to know” and leaves. i don’t know what to say to that so i just let him go

[romanceyourdemons]

thirteenth day as a second century warlord i’m honestly so sick of not knowing what’s going on, so i adjust my wizard costume to passably disguise myself as a woman and break into the women’s area of the camp, where sure enough my loser liege lord’s wife is. i ask her what she’s doing here and she tells me the fake wizard overheard her singing a poem she overheard on the street, not knowing it contains the coalition leader’s formation’s weaknesses. the fake wizard kidnapped her and assigned an assassin to kill her husband before they figured out the poem’s significance. she shares the first couplet with me but i’m discovered and thrown out before she can share any more. she doesn’t need to. through a bizarre coincidence of homophones, it’s the poop version of my misinformation nursery rhyme

[romanceyourdemons]

fourteenth day as a second century warlord i go back to my loser liege lord and tell him everything, urging him to join with my fake liege lord to attack the coalition leader according to the weaknesses in the nursery rhyme. he tells me frankly that he doesn’t trust me anymore. i ask him to execute me if that’s really true, because i can’t bear to live if i can’t protect him and i can’t protect my men. he agrees to attack the coalition leader

[romanceyourdemons]

fifteenth day as a second century warlord. due to the information in the nursery rhyme, and thanks to my loser liege lord reminding me of the weather conditions multiple times while planning our battle strategy, our alliance carries the day. my loser liege lord gets his wife back. my men tell me that our fake liege lord actually treated them really well and they’d like to stay with him if i don’t mind. i do mind, now that neither the men i love nor the man i love have any use for me, but i don’t tell them that

[romanceyourdemons]

sixteenth day as a second century warlord i’m preparing to leave to i don’t know where, maybe to try to become a wizard for real, when my loser liege lord stops me and asks me where i’m going. he says he had hoped i would continue to work as his advisor. i was unaware i was his advisor in the first place. i agree, and he tells me he’s truly honored to have me in his service at last. he has known i am a rare and talented man with a strategic intelligence far above his ever since the day he witnessed me tying branches to my horses’ tails in six inches of mud, and could not for the life of him figure out why

[chronicallyonlinesworld]

[marvelgifs]

[the-hockey-werewolf]

This turned me gay

[nico-incognito]

Being reminded of this as a queer adult is so wild because you realize some very overt shit. Like, Bobby emits ice from his whole body. Grabbing the bottle was enough! In fact, he didn’t even have to grab the bottle, a simple poke would have worked or he could have shot ice from a distant. Him blowing on this bottle was 3000% overt flirting and honestly the gayest thing I’ve probably ever seen a mutant use their powers for and Wolverine was here for it all and no one will tell me differently.

[mantis-lizbian]

…i’m vaguely recalling that Bobby is canonically gay in the comics? or am i wrong?

[foone]

He is, but that only happened after this movie.

[animentality]

[brunhiddensmusings]

historical note- the beginning of most LGBT rights in law started with the MIME RIOTS of 1968 over the right to preform lewd plays (it was about a candlestick maker and was openly bisexual, the candles used were exactly what you are imagining) enshrining public displays of sexual identity under the right to free speech aggressively clowning to destroy the systems of oppression is a noble tradition to keep alive, and historically speaking it works

[ms-demeanor]

Remember when that girl tried to say that firefox was bad because a former CEO was homophobic and I pointed out why that was a terrible take (throwing out the baby [open source non-google web browser with great extensions] with the bathwater [dipshit who left like ten years ago and also developed javascript and i don't see you ditching all sites with java for your principles]) and she went and looked through my posts and tried to call me out for supporting hyperconsumptive capitalism and encouraging anorexia because I'd reblogged a photoset from a runway show and I was like "bitch I don't care about fashion, I've got a latex fetish" and then she blocked me?

That was very funny.

[awkardvagabond]

[ms-demeanor]

We have a dedicated one of these to use on my posts:

[netherworldpost]

This is a great, great story.

It feels like “custom drive through window meme response icon” is a hugely untapped art market with (relatively) low risk/work ratio.

[halles-comet]

it makes me so mad people won't leave this poor kid alone but every single response he shoots off is funnier than if you gave me a week to think of one

[juelzsantanabandana2]

Lil nas x is like if bugs bunny were a real person