i dont care if monday sucks... tuesday cost me sixty bucks... wednesday thursday give no fucks. it's friday im a duck
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

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@scyleste
i dont care if monday sucks... tuesday cost me sixty bucks... wednesday thursday give no fucks. it's friday im a duck
The new Odyssey adaptation has inevitably gotten people talking about a Muppet version of it, and they’re frequently suggesting Kermit as Odysseus, Miss Piggy as Penelope.
I’m sorry but that’s thinking way too small, hear me out:
We need to have Miss Piggy as Odysseus, and Kermit as Penelope.
Think about it… who’s the more fickle, prideful, warlike one in that relationship? Who is absolutely ready to go ham, at a moment’s notice?
It ain’t Kermit
Miss Piggy tied to the mast while Statler and Waldorf heckle her from the sea
But who is the single human cast member in this tale? Who gets to put in an Oscar-worthy performance alongside the Muppets and what role are they to play?
There’s no single human, everyone is a Muppet except for one scene. Circe, played by Janice, turns Odysseus’s crew into humans who still behave animalistic and are all played by Academy Award winning actors.
So how much longer are we gonna pretend "higher than normal call volume" is a thing that exists. I think its normal call volume actually and you just arent hiring enough people. I think if you experience higher than normal for a very long time its no longer higher than normal its just normal and youve failed to adjust accordingly
people who are like "but with universal healthcare you'll have to pay taxes!!! Up to 8%!!!" Are so funny. Like as opposed to the 16% of my gross paycheck that goes to private insurance, that won't cover shit unless i call my insurance company, then my doctor, then my pharmacy, then my doctor again because theyre pretty sure insurance got approved then my insurance company because they didn't get the letter, then my doctor again, then the pharmacy again, and then the copay i still am on the hook for.
nodding my head to show that i approve of all the shitty things this character has done because i'm a bad person
Just tried to play an ancient flute and it started filling the room with this awful miasma that wont go away
Why does staff still allow people funnier than you to leave tags on your posts. They should have fixed that by now
Image description: a screenshot that reads the following;
“Nobody:
Girls that bullied goth kids in high school:”
Attached images are of Taylor Swift, a white woman with sunglasses, blonde hair, a black tank top reading “this is my fight song”, and green shorts. She is wearing a leather bondage harness. It is backwards.
my favorite genre of humor is alt text being just completely factual and somehow reading the image for filth
i don't really want to weight in on the "using big words in your writing is ableist" discourse happening on tiktok because i'm like 90% certain it's an anti-intellectual psyop to stir up drama in online circles to promote the use of ai to summarize literally everything and thus feeding the LLMs and lowering the populace's mistrust of such tools but i also have to say: dictionaries and thesauruses are the most accessible they've ever been. if you use an e-reader of any kind you can look up a word without leaving the page. there's a plethora of online dictionaries and if you just type a word + "meaning" into google it'll usually give you a definition. we used to have pocket dictionaries we used when reading in class. i have two on my shelf right now that i used in high school. stop letting the fascists purposefully misuse anti-ableism rhetoric to trick you into never thinking again.
Also, isn’t it ableist in itself to imply that disabled people are inherently incapable of reading and understanding big words? I don’t think that infantilizing disabled people and treating them as inherently dumber and/or less capable than non-disabled people is the most progressive thing to do when it comes to advocating against ableism.
It can be easy to confuse the two, but you don't actually "wish you were more disabled", you wish your disability was taken seriously and was properly accommodated and that you had access to the support and resources you need - and that desire is so valid. You deserve more. But the sad truth is that no level of disability actually guarantees a sufficient level of support. So you have to work to separate your very understandable desire for more support from the incorrect assumption that other disabled people are consistently receiving what you aren't. All of us are getting fucked over in this society, and no group of disabled people actually has it easy.
middle aged lady on my bus just called someone's partner "your whimsical idiot boyfriend" over the phone . with sincere frustration might I add
my best tip for anyone trying to get back into reading is to remember that you can read books to avoid other responsibilities in ur life and it can become a vice if you play your cards right
My therapist always says “reading is a healthy hobby” and every time I’m like “girl not how I do it.”
who up wasting their only shot at life through complete and utter inaction
▽ The first envelope was a pair of wings.