happy holidays

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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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@seablack
happy holidays
Talking to my traumatized friends like “take your time responding and don’t feel any need to cater to my opinion in this matter just tell me the truth about what you feel. Your feelings are valid. ” and it’s about like choosing where to go to lunch.
Y'all do not know how long it took for me to finally realize "telling other people what I think they want to hear" is not the nicest kindest choice for me to always make. And neither do I, because I'm still learning it, but as soon as I do I'll be sure to tell you How Long It Took.
Because, haha, it turns out? Most people actually don't need to be constantly right, always in control, and perpetually being reassured. And they'll feel funny (negative) when you treat them like they do. Because people mostly assume that how you treat them is a direct reflection of how you perceive them, and they will never assume you're treating them that way because of someone who literally isn't currently in the room.
Wild, I know.
In actuality, people already know you have a preference because that is a very normal thing to have. And because you're never as slick as you think you are, you definitely won't fool anyone by pretending you don't. So the actual kindest choice to make is to just be honest about what you want, because most people will feel most comfortable when they know for sure that the decision you've both made is truly a mutual agreement.
Genuinely? Mind-blowing concept. But a very helpful thing to remember.
man, The Character really strikes me as someone who would struggle with Same Problems I Have, for no apparent reason
my cat sits next to my chair and meows so sadly until i help her onto my lap and im like. baby i love you but i have witnessed you achieve 6ft vertical leaps onto the fridge. do NOT play with me.
We need to figure out how to communicate "thank you, that was very cool" to whales. And also "please do not do that, that was scary", but that's secondary. Imagine what kind of shit humans would get up to if any time you're out and doing things, there's an above zero chance that you hear a handful of beetles making a tiny sound of waow. nice. and a round of teeny tiny applause.
courage the cowardly dog is not cowardly because that poor dog will be facing the flayed corpse of god or some shit every episode. courage the reasonably horrified dog
OK Can I just say something? *unending harrowing silence*
(alien being shown yaoi) and you're saying, the men... have sex with each other? the men?
(alien being shown yuri) ohhh ya we do this shit too lmao
“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted
#tapping the reblog button with utmost care because i’m handling a historical artifact (via @malarkiness)
holy shit OP is not only still active but is still making absolutely banger posts in this exact style 11 years later
A 2025 update
thinking about the time a dude with a booth trying to get sign ups (no recollection of what for) approached me and said “Hey! do you know how much a polar bear weighs?” the correct response to this is “i don’t know”, so that the original speaker can say “enough to break the ice!” however, he did not count on Animal Facts Georg saying “i think about 990lbs?” which destroyed any hope for a normal and productive conversation
me: [posting in the maid gc] yeah my lady screamed at me and threw bottles at my head cus i talked while she was reading her novellas again. any advice
maid 1: poison her
maid 2: yea poison her
maid 3: i have a connect on some really strong untraceable poisons if you want
me: girls she makes me try all of her food before she eats it how am i gonna poison her
maid 1: put it in her mouth while she sleeps
maid 2: ^this. worked like a charm for my sister
maid 3: yeah dm me i have a bunch of techniques that might work
maid 4: have you tried seducing her? maybe she just needs to have her heart warmed so she may show you the kindness you deserve
maid 2: MARY
maid 1: cmon mary
maid 3: just because YOUR lady has sex with you doesn't mean everyone's lady does
me: no wait she does like to put her fingers in my mouth to check if i swallowed her food. and i'm pretty sure she squeezed my ass once
maid 4: yeah exactly. message me i can tell yoy more
maid 3: whatever. if you need the poison just hit me up
maid 5: girls do you know how to get wine out of satin
maid 1: how recent is the spill
maid 5: a few days old
maid 2: you're fucked
Actually upon further inspection that shit really hurted my feelings
Killed this ant that came in the kitchen and the next day it came right back but it was holding a needle. Killed it again and it came back the next day wearing a cape and then I noticed I had a giant HP bar labeled KITCHEN BEHEMOTH and I was like man cmon dont call me that