could you compile a guide to the smiths, please?
John Martin Maher, aka the Angel of Radness
legally changed his birth name to Johnny Marr so it would be a pun on the French phrase j’en ai marre (i’m fed up)
the most precious, the most pure, the most rad of all the cinnamon rolls that ever have been or ever will be, the most unproblematic of all faves
im not even kidding he has never done anything terrible in his life you will find no reciepts, everyone loves him, no one has ever said a bad word about him
the greatest guitarist of his generation, quite literally changed the face of british pop and rock, entirely possible that without him there would be no such thing as indie or alternative music today
married to the wondrous Angie (they left school together when they were 15 and have been together ever since). they have two grown up kids and a dog called Riff
hes super healthy he doesnt do drugs or smoke or drink AND he’s a vegan and runs like five miles a day
he’s fifty one and wears eyeliner and silver nail varnish what does one even say to that
the B) emoji is based on johnny marr
has an honourary doctorate from salford university so technically he’s Dr. Marr
HE’S TINY LOOK AT THIS! HE CANT EVEN REACH THE MIC!
you would think that he is too indie pop 4 u but he has a secret life as a FUNK MASTER, his first band was named FREAK PARTY and he’s bffs with The Nile Rogers and named his son after him (exhibit a: johnny gets down and funky with chic)
oh ye i made eye contact with him at a gig and he winked at me
sorry this is long and personal but i love my Guitar Dad
Stephen Patrick Morrissey, known commonly as just Morrissey, but also as Moz, Mozzer, Misery Mozzery, and Steve
the word ‘problematic’ was invented specifically for morrissey
im just gonna get the bad stuff out the way to start with: has said a bunch of awful racist/misogynistic things, yes he gets taken out of context, no they cannot be justified or excused, he shouldnt say them and it pains my heart to think of it bc everything else he says is so good and wonderful how are they the same man
likes: manchester, tea, cats, oscar wilde, sixties girl groups, james dean, bikes, flowers, the new york dolls, animals, johnny marr, being alone
dislikes: manchester, margaret thatcher, robert smith, the monarchy, the meat industry, people who eat meat, people in general, being alive
has very few friendships or relationships and just sort of lives alone with his cats
a fan once wrote to him and told him she felt self concious wearing her hearing aid to a gig and after that heused to wear hearing aids onstage :)
other things he liked to do onstage: swing around large bunches of flowers and stuff them in his arse pocket, lie on the floor, hug fans (it became a problem), write things on his chest and rip off his shirt to reveal the message, yodel
“I have always personally been starved of romance. However, in 1982 someone stepped on my foot in Woolworths. That’s about the closest I’ve got.”
he used to say he was asexual in the eighties and then said he wasnt and was only celibate and most recently said he was “humansexual” (”attracted to human beings - but not many”) but im woefully uninformed on this topic someone else can help you perhaps before i put my foot in it and say the wrong thing
always really really sweet to his fans he used to always respond to fanmail in the eighties and its just? really sweet? i mean he also hates all humanity so its a weird dichotomy but
when he published his biography in 2013 is was entitled “Autobiography” and published on release by penguin classics
honestly its a real/love hate thing? either you despise every hair in his quiff or you would die for him theres no inbetween
sweet sweet precious andy
childhood friend of johnny marr, left school with johnny and angie, was in Freak Party with johnny
honestly just! the most beautiful
oh yeah he had a daughter at nineteen so all those photos of andy in the smiths are photos of an Actual Father, a bona fide Hot Dad
what else is there to say i love andy
aka “””Milk Juice””” (thats a tumblr fandom thing tho dont take that into the real world)
oh wait someone already did
there’s a bit of bitterness here bc he sued moz and marr in 1996 for a 25% share of the smiths royalties (expect lots of 25% jokes)
please dont hate him tho hes a good man and an excellent drummer
morrissey wishes him “the very worst for the rest of his life”
he used to be in a punk band its very ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
the hidden fifth smith not so many people know about him
in 1986 andy was fired from the smiths (for his drug use i think), legend says that he woke up one morning to find a postcard from morrissey on the windscreen of his car which said “You have left The Smiths” (morrissey denies this but andy doesnt and honestly i believe andy over moz) (also im very sketchy on the details so dont eat me)
he was gone for two weeks and in the meantime craig gannon took over on bass, but when andy came back he stayed on as rythym guitarist and played on a few tracks and toured with them
a good and beautiful guy honestly (tho i think he also sued for royalties so :/)
here he is (to the left of morrissey)
sorry abt the pic they just look really good here and i want to cry
the smiths formed in manchester in 1982 when johnny marr knocked on morrisseys front door and pressed his face to the glass. please read this article abt the whole thing i cry
morrissey descibes their meeting. im fine :) (thats me screamin with my mouth closed)
what can i say? johnny and moz were phenomenal together they wrote so many good songs (they wrote ‘half a person’ in four and a half minutes! FOUR AND A HALF MINUTES!)
“He was different with me than he was with everybody else. I couldn’t have given my music to anybody - anybody else, and he appreciated it more, because he just fell in love with it, and that went on all the way through the band. In many ways he was my biggest fan really.” - Johnny Marr
but they were only together for five years :( johnny and morrissey fell out and everything got really stressful and. yeah ill just give some quotes bc im sad
“One night we had a conversation and he said “ I think it’s about time and I’ve had enough” and I was saying “Yes I understand” but I really didn’t mean it I really didn’t think he’d completely pull the plug.” - Morrissey
“Morrissey asked me to do a farewell gig at one point, but I said no. It just seemed like a bad idea… We actually got together a few times [afterwards]. We went for a walk in the country, we went out to dinner one night, and later we just went for a long drive. It was really good to see each other away from any scenes. Like everyone, in private we’re quite different characters. I know the real Morrissey and he knows the real me.” - Johnny Marr
“I think Johnny understood Morrissey more than anyone else in the world… It was almost illogical, the gulf that was coming between Johnny and Morrissey, and you couldn’t put it down to any one thing. Again, it was almost like Morrissey living out his doomed fantasies. I think at some point one of them thought, “I can’t do this. You’re saying you want to be on in this stuff but when I move towards you, you move away. Or vice versa. There’s no rhythm between us.” Whereas before, they were finishing each other’s sentences.” - Grant Showbiz (sound engineer)
and then johnny wrote moz this letter which he kept and kept and printed in his autobio in 2013 more than 25 years later :) :)) :))))))
their first album and one dear to my heart
recieves a lot of criticism from fans and the band bc of the mess surrounding production and the poor sound quality but! who cares its beautiful
caused quite a stir when it came out bc it was so subversive and unapologetically Not About Hetero Romance so the press were scratching their heads a lot
the first single had this cover and andy talks about the mortification he felt trying to show his dad his bands first single can u imagine
tbh the subject matter is very weird and ambiguous and a bit morbid (theres a song about the moors murders for example) but its also very sweet and funny. typical smiths tbh
the cover is a still from an Andy Warhol film called ‘Flesh’ but morrissey wrote the album notes as CULLED FROM ANDY WARHOLS FLESH which sounds a lot more ominous
unhappy with the quality of The Smiths the band decided to put out a compilation early on
essential listening tbh - u will learn soon enough that all smiths compilations are necessary
oh yeah some smiths records had a secret etched message from morrissey. on this album: THE IMPOTENCE OF ERNEST/IAN (ian was johnnys brother)
the album that inspired a generation of vegetarians
ITS SO GOOD i cant ever stop listening to it tbh
so so many classic tracks
a bit more stridently political (vegetarianism, jabs at the monarchy and english school system, railing against the injustices of corporal punishment)
secret etching: ILLNESS IS ART / DOING THE WYTHENSHAWE WALTZ
considered by many to be their finest album (not by the band tho they think strangeways is the best)
every single track on here is so sublimley good how do you even articulate your feelings towards i know its over or frankly mr shankly or some girls are bigger than others WHAT DO I SAY
THE BOY WITH THE THORN IN HIS SIDE. CEMETRY GATES. THERE IS A LIGHT THAT NEVER GOES OUT.
secret etching: FEAR OF MANCHESTER / THEM WAS ROTTEN DAYS
personally this is my favourite smiths compilation altho its often overlooked bc most of the tracks appear elsewhere
HOWEVER it contains stretch out and wait and money changes everything so its like. objectively the best (fight me irl)
the better known american compilation album
REALLY REALLY ESSENTIAL SONGS its so good i love it
Strangeways, Here We Come
technically and musically their best its really ~experimental~ and different (for them)
Morrissey - “We say [that it’s our best album] quite often. At the same time. In our sleep. But in different beds.”
features moz on piano in death of a disco dancer
title refers to strangeways prison in manchester
im gona weep if ur gonna go this is the way to do it
secret etching: GUY FAWKES WAS A GENIUS
the posthumous live album
released as a contractual obligation so mozzer had to pick all the tracks by himself after they’d broken up :(
he wanted to call it The Smiths In Heat but the label wouldn’t let him
contains the instrumental track The Draize Train and a really neat Marie’s The Name (Of His Latest Flame)/Rusholme Ruffians mashup
feat. craig gannon on guitar
secret etching: PEEPHOLISM
moz went solo after the smiths broke up and hes been massivley successful
the sideburns got more intense and he gradually got grumpier and grumpier
idk this is just my opinion but i feel that solo moz is a very different creature to smiths moz? sort of. less tender and gentle? there’s a line from i know its over that says “its so easy to laugh/its so easy to hate/it takes strength to be gentle and kind” and i feel maybe solo moz stopped caring about that so much. not that he was incapable of it -theres a lot of heartbreakingly good stuff he wrote as a solo artist- but i feel he tends more towards sarcasm and polemic than the dry humor he had in the smiths
THAT BEING SAID i love solo moz’s stuff there’s some glorious stuff in here so to all the angry asks im gonna recieve i say its just my opinion please dont eat me alive
hes released 10 studio albums as a solo artist; Viva Hate, Kill Uncle, Your Arsenal, Vauxhall And I, Southpaw Grammar, Maladjusted, You Are The Quarry, Ringleader Of The Tormentors, Years Of Refusal, and World Peace Is None Of Your Business
hours of entertainment can be gleaned from merely perusing the titles of solo morrissey tracks, do yourself a favour and have a look
after he left the smiths johnny formed an ALTERNATIVE DANCE SUPERGROUP with New Order frontman Bernard Sumner and occasionally with Neil Tennant of the Pet Shop Boys
its pretty much the greatest thing that ever happened to me its the perfect intesection of every one of my interests
three albums; Electronic, Raise The Pressure, Twisted Tenderness
they never officially dissolved things but they havent really been active since 1999 so
johnny is a massively prolific musician and has collaborated with almost everyone on the planet, including but not limited to:
then he had a sort of band called Johnny Marr + The Healers and they had one album (Boomslang)
and then he was the guitarist for Modest Mouse for three years
and then he was The Cribs guitarist
helped hans zimmer with the soundtrack for inception and amazing spider-man 2, is working on something else with him atm i think
then in 2013 he went solo! he sang on his own album! everyone died bc who knew that Guitar Dad had such a beautiful voice!
his two solo albums are The Messenger and Playland
and then he played on Noel Gallagher’s Ballad Of The Mighty I and we all died a bit more
morrissey is a gemini which explains almost everything
johnny marr’s birthday is on halloween! ooooh spooky
johnny marr was sort of the world’s first oasis fan - his brother bumped into noel at the hacienda, who gave him a demo tape to pass on to johnny, who then took noel to doncaster to buy him a new guitar and then he and angie took him for sushi. oh yeah and then he gave noel the holy grail of all his guitars and then noel broke it over a fans head
morrissey loves coronation street and he had a cameo on it when he was 16
morrissey affects a melancholy air while he discusses his childhood
before he was in the smiths morrissey published two books: one on james dean and one on the new york dolls
david cameron, the awful prime minister of england, once mentioned that he liked the smiths, to which johnny instantly tweeted “No you don’t. I forbid you to like them.” and then morrissey wrote him a long letter explaining why he wasn’t allowed to listen to the smiths
morrissey is really really good at football and athletics and won loads of prizes in school
one time johnny was kidnapped by the happy mondays
at the smiths first ever american show they were supported by madonna
at this same show morrissey didnt wear his glasses and fell off the stage
please watch this important video of moz and johnny dancing
in this video the smiths take a group of schoolchildren on a trip. “where are we going?” asks a small girl of morrissey. “we’re all going mad” is the reply. sandie shaw then joins then for a singalong while moz and johnny giggle helplessly and mike joyce gives a kid a piggyback ride
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