As I proceed to have finished 1/2 of Quiet by Susan Cain, (and by no means is this an exercise in the book), upon reflection, I am a mix of introvert vs extrovert, if I had to estimate, 70% vs 30%. I am very social, but require a lot of downtime. For example, I was out yesterday for over 13 hours on an excursion marathon. Prior to, I spent an enormous amount of time alone for the first 5 days, "sinking" into my vacation, waiting to plan this sport adventure and for a few days kept postponing it until one day in advance. My awareness during this time was only taking in what I could, which was a lot. I was not overstimulated by the slightest, because I did moderate activities, reading, hiking, tanning, exercise, surfing, all of which I was mostly alone. Today, I haven't left the hotel once. I've increased my capacity to read, and feel perfectly at ease with being alone and occasionally dropping by my room and doing a few push ups. In essence, I needed this under stimulated day, and not just to do nothing because I am tired. Mentally, I want it. In general, I've learned to adapt to my surroundings and be a social spider-fly. When I'm out, though, my stimulation is increased but still relaxed; meaning my extra awareness doesn't take away from my speaking when I'm aware of people observing me (a conscious and inbred beautiful thing) and what the person I am talking to could potentially be feeling or what kind of mood they are in by subtle cues. I'm a "feeler". But if it were to happen all the time, that extroverted part of me would probably get fierce, over confident or under, and uptight, thoughts flying everywhere, and I would probably be more prone to make irrational decisions and so forth because I have yet to process and charge my brain, aka, have my down time. It's the same when you are in a relationship and you are constantly doing something for that person when truly you want your time. That's a sign to stop. And that person should be okay, if not support, you doing that. Being alone is not a bad thing at all. I actually have come to realize a lot of my friends require some sort of processing and down time. And I've actually admired the few well known individuals mentioned in the book who have become so great in our lives and in history, who simply liked grazing the grass with their feet 24/7, alone, bringing a number of insightful information down on paper we use today. This also means you can rewire your brain (like I know I did) to become more outgoing. That, my friends, is the beauty of free will and some well-intended conditioning. Just remember, some of the greatest inventors of our time (and dating back centuries ago) were not in groups, (also known as "group-think"), because being alone is way more direct, fulfilling and fascinating. It doesn't mean you can't talk to anyone. Or use some suggestions and pick at people's brains. It means, having that time to be alone in solitary confinement is where the magic happens. You are focused, willpower is increased, and you gain a confidence you will never have if you are constantly surrounded by others. It doesn't mean sitting in a room with your thoughts racing and not knowing what to do with yourself. Practice is a sure thing and meditating definitely helps. If you can't handle being alone, a part (if not a huge part) of yourself is not at peace with yourself. You have to overcome that first and relearn yourself in a lot of ways. Creativity will eventually shine through at its finest. You'll start wanting and needing it, even if it's at a lesser degree than some. Ps: And by "solitary confinement", I say that with a smirk. It is slightly humorous to me that solitary is defined as lonely, friendless and someone who is a hermit; and that it is considered a form of punishment to not have any human contact, (which in government conditions are completely necessary). In our lifetime and a bit before, it started becoming the "norm" to talk without thinking and to be aggressive and very competitive. I think this book is triggering the "other half" of these people called hermits, and shining the light on their shells to reveal their magnificence. It's better to choose a shell carefully vs a quick (competitive - even) decision for a cracked one. Society should be confident about these attributes and realize the significant role each of us play. One good example of this in the book was Parks and King. They were a team, with very different personalities. I encourage anyone to read this book. And remember: there are a lot of shells you will come by. Written by Sebhia Dibra
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