I FOUND THE TWEET THAT GOT ME TO WATCH PRIDE AND PREJUDICE
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Claire Keane
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@selenornis
I FOUND THE TWEET THAT GOT ME TO WATCH PRIDE AND PREJUDICE
Here is my video (for now) on raccoon “domestication” and why that study is BS with actual statistics. Enjoy.
My autistic brother created a new family Christmas tradition
Okay, so last year, my mom bought this Christmas moose that she lovingly named Barry
This is him
Cute, right?
Well, for whatever reason only known to my brother, he decided that he wanted to put Barry in different rooms of our house and it usually scares the shit out of whomever happens upon Barry; usually the person who finds him is the person that my brother wanted to scare.
So far, Barry has been found
On our dining room table
On my dad's side of my parents' bed
In my parents' closet
Outside their bedroom door (at 5 in the morning and scared my mother shitless)
Near the kitchen door
Near my fucking bed
At the bottom of my sister's stairwell
In our bathroom
And down the hallway
This has gone on for 9 days and it doesn't seem to show signs of stopping. Most of the time we know who gets Barry because it's always followed with a very loud "FUCKING BARRY!!!!!"
My brother is the funniest fucking person I know.
Update:
He found his way into my sister's room.
And my brother is cackling maniacally downstairs.
Holy fuck this doll is creepy
Another update:
The soft glow of the Christmas tree seems to quell his bloodlust
vote to replace the evil surveillance Elf on the Shelf with Barry the Chrismoose
Broke: Elf on the Shelf Woke: Moose on the Loose
An old woman will arrive at the station at 2:47 AM, she will not have enough money to pay the fare, let her in anyway. She will then board an unscheduled train at 3:00 AM. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO TURN HER AWAY UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.
It was either a joke or some train executive's wife, that's what I thought when my manager gave me those specific instructions.
He proceeded to stress them again three more times during orientation. No biggie, I figured, and set a reminder on my phone for 2:45 just to be safe. Other than that I was just shown how to work the ticketing machine and where to find the spare D Batteries for the ancient flashlight they provided me with.
At 11:50 PM the last scheduled train departed. By 00:20 AM all the disembarked passengers had milled off. There was only one other person at the platform, a young homeless man missing a leg. Probably a veteran of one war or the other, there had been so many recently. He was sleeping on one of the benches. My manager had said I was to politely urge any passengers remaining after midnight to leave. He did not seem like a passenger so I let him sleep. It is how I was raised.
At 2:45 AM my alarm went off. I put aside my book, made sure my booth was tidy in case the executive's wife or mother or whoever would come was going to inspect it.
At 2:47 AM she was there.
I did not hear a car, nor approaching footsteps. The Babusia was simply there when she had not been before. A heavily wrinkled old woman, with a crooked nose and a scarf tied around her brittle-looking grey hair. A knobbly wooden walking stick was held by an equally knobbly left hand. She did not seem like the mother of some rich rail tycoon. She reminded me of my grandmother.
But I had never met my grandmother.
"One ticket, please." she requested in a firm voice, placing a small handful of coins on the counter without looking up at me. Most of the coins were obsolete Kopeks, and even counting those it was not enough for half a ticket, but as I was told before I nodded my head and accepted her money. "Of course. "
It suddenly occured to me that I was not told how to print a ticket for this unscheduled train. Before I could remark about it, I saw that the ticket was already at the mouth of the machine. It was green, with red lettering, something the black-and-white printer should not have made. But yet it did. The printing seemed in cyrillic of some sort, but I could not read it.
"Your ticket." I presented, and without thinking added "Do you require assistance to climb the platform stairs, grandmother?" It is how I was raised.
"Yes. Assist me." she replied curtly, beginning to shuffle slowly through the dark station towards the platform. I locked up my booth, and caught up with her just before the stairs. I switched on my heavy flashlight with my right hand, and offered the woman my right to brace herself. Her grip was strong. She probably would have had no issue climbing by herself, but assisting a grandmother was always the right thing to do, even when her sharp fingernails dug painfully into my palm.
We arrived at the platform. The clock hanging from the ceiling read 2:56. She released my hand and took a few steps, then looked at the sleeping man on the bench. "A friend of yours?" she asked. I thought about lying; if she was truly an executive's family, perhaps hosting a friend would be a lighter offense than turning a blind eye?
"No, grandmother." I responded truthfully. "He is not breaking the rules, so I left him alone." It is how I was raised.
The woman hummed. She seemed taller than before. Taller than me. The night draped her shoulders like a shaul and my torch did not reach it. Her gray hair shone like woven starlight, and her eyes were the night sky. I could not look away.
"You are a well-mannered girl." she said, her voice echoing in my ears like silence. She placed something small and hard in my hand.
A train arrived. It had only one car. I think it had a steam engine. It may have walked on chicken legs. I could not look at it.
The Grandmother boarded her train without another word. I was alone in a perfectly dull train station. Almost. The homeless woman behind me mumbled and stretched her legs in her sleep.
In my hand was a wrapped piece of hard candy.
An Oven is a kind of European above-ground umu typically constructed from metal and ceramic. Originating in the 18th century, ovens are primarily used for preparing several kinds of Western-style hāngī, such as Sunday roasts, casseroles, and pies, which are cooked in various types of specialised poti. Ovens are usually constructed off-site in dedicated facilities before being installed in the whareumu, or kitchen, of a European whare. They are typically not able to be moved once installed, quite unlike umu which may be constructed anywhere and are readily deconstructed and moved as needed. Another limitation of ovens is that due to their small internal volume relative to their overall size, they are generally restricted in the amount of kai they can produce. An oven will produce only enough kai to feed a few people, whereas a hāngī cooked in an umu can feed an entire village.
Thank you for sharing this piece of quaint European culture (or is it Europeanne? so bad at spelling haha 😄) It's so interesting how the European word for umu, oven, is seemingly not contained in the European for whareumu (kitchen). It sounds like a product of evolution of the ancient language, coupled with the instability of warring tribes. Fascinating!
this is true, with some caveats: the earliest ovens in europe actually date back to 29,000 bce, but these kinds of ovens were also found across the indus valley and egypt about 20,000 years later so they’re not strictly european. more sophisticated ovens were found across the middle east and also greece and modern-day italy for many thousands of years after this, and there were other kinds of “ovens” used across europe during the middle ages, but i would argue that none of these were in a form that recognisably correlates with modern in-home ovens in the western world (commercial ovens are a different beast entirely).
the date i used in the original post was the invention of the cast-iron stove, which was circa 1700s, because imo it bears the most similarity to modern ovens in form, material composition, installation, and use, compared to all its predecessors. it is also i think the point where european ovens diverged significantly enough from umu for this post to make sense.
of course i put none of this in the original post because then it wouldn’t be funny, but now i have an opportunity to lore dump about ovens, so thank you :)
oh my god this vid from a /ck/ thread is incredible
my kinda diet
What
This video looks like how it feels when youre crying in your bed at 3 am out of anxiety and youre trying to cheer yourself up by watching videos but all it does is make your brain feel more erratic.
The :)
What the FUCK
The lack of music makes it 10x more brain-fucking
Don’t forget the olive :)
It's that time of year again...
image description: bsky post by @/kyamae, reading;
I heard there was a Cohen song,
And all the Christians or it wrong,
But you don't really get the meaning do ya?
Cause you see its about getting laid,
It's sex, and love, and Jewish faith,
But all the gentiles heard was "hallelujah!" /end description
Republicans think Trump can outsmart others because he outsmarted their lazy asses.
I feel that this is important to add
The miller wanted to impress the world, so he said "my daughter can pass any multiple choice test!" And the child was shown into a room with only a number 2 pencil and a Scantron, and told to pass the test or else she would surely die.
"But I do not have the time to study so much!" The girl cried, and then a little creature appeared behind her.
"I can make sure you pass the test, but what would you give me?" Said the creature.
"My healthy sleep schedule," said the girl. He accepted the bargain, and she passed the test.
But then she was put into honors classes, and again found herself locked in a room with only a pencil and a Scantron.
"What would you give me if I help you pass?" Said the man, appearing behind her again.
"I would give my active social life," said the child, and the bargain was again struck.
Then the girl was put into another room, with more tests than she knew what to do with. When the creature appeared again, she said she had nothing left to give.
"Of course you do," said the creature, "simply give up your identity and self esteem, and you shall pass the tests!"
The girl gave it up, and she graduated with high honors. But she was not happy, and neither was her cruel father, for his prized child was no longer in school and so he could no longer brag about her.
Finally, she went to therapy and the therapist helped her name the creature: he was guilt and shame, familial expectations, a system designed to crush children to pick out the "gifted," the melancholy of lost opportunities and the anxiety of the future. Knowing the creature's name, the girl was at last able to reclaim her sleep, then her friends, and finally her sense of self.
"What you really need," said the therapist, "is a hobby."
"I've been thinking of getting into spinning actually," said the girl.
i love this new gen of pop stars so much
an absolutely humungous update they just keep getting better
I think this needs an important addendum:
Not only did Billie Eilish donate $11.5M, she also called out a room full of billionaires, including Mark Zuckerberg, directly to their faces, saying "If you’re a billionaire, why are you a billionaire? No hate, but, yeah, give your money away, shorties."
The $11.5M she's donating is about 1/4 if her net worth. Imagine if a billionaire did that? If Mark Zuckerberg donated 1/4 of his net worth, it would be about $55 BILLION... and he's still have over $100 billion left.
And, yet, unsurprisingly, people are mad at Billie Eilish for what she said and not at the billionaires for hoarding all the money and resources
This would have had me crucified on tumblr 10 years ago but maybe we are ready for this conversation now:
If you are a socially anxious person, you have to socialize. Your panic/anxiety attacks will only get worse and trigger more frequently if you constantly avoid contact with The Public. Not saying that you need to be a social butterfly- but there is a genuine problem with not being able to order your own meal at a restaurant. And it cannot be solved by always having someone else do it for you.
This is a PSA to about 3/4s of the Portland Youth populace
everyone who reblogs this and is like "I ordered my own tea this week" or "I only barfed once when I had to give a presentation'- you are doing amazing sweetie. Have patience with yourself, you are relearning a skill so difficult that people get 4 year degrees to do it professionally.
Oh good I'm not the only one who noticed I thought I was going insane. 90% of the stuff that people seem to want to automate with LLMs to 'revolutionise [X] industry' was already being automated much better with bots, which is depressing because before this wave of LLMs we were all complaining about how shitty all the bots make everything when they're used to do things that shouldn't be automated, but now even a misimplemented non-AI bot is a comparative relief.
oh my god god god god god my dad just tried to complain about me wearing earrings with ghosts on them because they're "not very festive" so i said Well Actually ghosts are very appropriate for christmastime and he said tell you what if you can show me a single christmas themed thing that has ghosts in it i won't say another word about your fashion choices this entire holiday. i Promise. so i got him to lean in realllllll close as i opened up the browser app on my phone and slowly began to type "A CHRISTMAS CAROL" while the blood rapidly drained from his face.
There's this whole story unfolding on TikTok right now about this account that got popular — a woman in the US who calls up churches & pretends to have a starving newborn that hasn't eaten since last evening & asks them if they could help her out with a can of formula. Unsurprisingly, none of the ridiculous megachurches actually ever say yes, and the churches & other religious institutions that did say yes are getting lots of support from people.
But I just saw a video of a TT user explaining that they decided to do their own little social experiment — by walking up to drug dealers on the street, telling them there's a young woman with a baby who needs help with formula, and literally all of them immediately reached into their pockets. In this story, the OP did have a real neighbor with a baby who ended up getting some much needed baby supplies. Thanks to the charity of local drug dealers.
A lot of Americans are learning that their rich white Christian churches are less willing to help their communities than black churches, mosques, buddhist temples, the satanic temple & apparently also crack dealers.
I got a label maker for my small business and am using it for very serious business purposes