Because it seems no one wants to talk about it in its entirety.
Contents of a very long post:
The dialogues of each time you can ask Astarion for a polyamorous relationship with the different companions
My breakdown of each reaction
Overview putting those reactions together
A tad bit of metaknowledge
Conversations:
Lae’zel
Player: You may have heard... about me and Lae'zel.
Astarion: Not that I wanted to hear it, but you and Lae'zel are louder than worgs in heat. Although the shouts and screams do sound more tender and loving lately.
Astarion: So, will you want to keep yourself for your new, true love? Is this the end of our late-night trysts?
Astarion: Even though they were an awful lot of fun?
Player: I can be with you both, if you're comfortable with that?
Astarion: I am in no way comfortable with that! Lae'zel would never approve and I value my life too much to get on her bad side.
Astarion: Trust me, you will have more than enough on your plate without me there too. This is for the best.
Shadowheart
Player: You may have heard... about me and Shadowheart.
Astarion: It's hardly a surprise you'd invest your heart in our Sharran. I'm sure she's a delight, even if she's a little... conflicted.
Astarion: So, will you want to keep yourself for your new, true love? Is this the end of our late-night trysts?
Astarion: Even though they were an awful lot of fun?
Player: Why have such a restrained view of love? Can't I keep seeing you as well?
Astarion: Maybe if Shadowheart had more experience in these affairs, or if you two weren't just starting out, but this? No.
Astarion: Take it from someone with experience - hearts are built to break. They do it over the smallest things.
Astarion: And if our favourite Sharran's heart breaks, I'm worried she might get a little... murdery?
Player: I can see why you might want to stay out of that. / Player: Are you sure you don't want to try it? / Player: I'm surprised you're willing to give me up. I thought you'd be more possessive.
Astarion: Trust me, you will have more than enough on your plate without me there too. This is for the best.
Karlach
Player: You may have heard... about me and Karlach.
Astarion: You and Karlach? Well that's certainly a... unique pairing.
Astarion: Imagine forgetting how it feels to hold someone. All because of what some devil did to her.
Astarion: But she has you now. I'm sure that's some comfort.
Astarion: So, will you want to keep yourself for your new, true love? Is this the end of our late-night trysts?
Astarion: Even though they were an awful lot of fun?
Player: I'm sure Karlach wouldn't mind if we kept seeing each other.
Astarion: Darling, healthy relationships are not my strong point, but even I can see she loves you.
Astarion: Normally I'd be all for finding an arrangement, but hearts are fragile things at the best of times. And Karlach's?
Astarion: After what she's been through, it will need a very gentle hand. So let's not complicate things, hmm?
Player: I can see why you'd want to stay out of something like this. / Player: Are you sure you don't want to try it? / Player: That is... surprisingly mature advice.
Astarion: Trust me, you will have more than enough on your plate without me there too. This is for the best.
Wyll
Player: You may have heard... about me and Wyll.
Astarion: Wyll's the sort of prince-type I would have once dreamed of marrying. When I was about thirteen.
Astarion: So, will you want to keep yourself for your new, true love? Is this the end of our late-night trysts?
Astarion: Even though they were an awful lot of fun?
Player: Actually, if you're comfortable with it, perhaps I can keep being with both of you?
Astarion: Come now, Wyll won't agree to that. He's stuck in the past, and that's coming from a vampire.
Astarion: But if you ever get tired of your decades-long devotion to one another, I'm always here for a sordid affair.
Player: Trust me, that's never going to happen.
Astarion: Never say never, darling.
Player: I might bear that in mind.
Astarion: You little scoundrel, you.
Player: You know you're a terrible person, right?
Astarion: Only when it comes to morals. I'm very, very good where it counts.
Astarion: But for now, I'm more than happy for you and your newly-acquired Blade. If only he was as sharp as me.
Gale
Player: You may have heard... about me and Gale.
Astarion: Gale of Waterdeep: a limp passion.
Astarion: So, will you want to keep yourself for your new, true love? Is this the end of our late-night trysts?
Astarion: Even though they were an awful lot of fun?
Player: You can care about more than one person. I'd like to keep seeing you, too.
Astarion: Oh my dear, you're sweet, but we must have standards.
Astarion: I am not interested in being in any love triangle that involves Gale.
Player: Thanks for taking this so maturely. / Player: Well, that's that, then.
Astarion: If it helps, I'm more than happy with where things are.
Astarion: After all, I know you'll spend the rest of your days dreaming about the nights we spent together. You lucky thing, you.
Player: I hope we can still be friends.
Astarion: We can try, but it may be difficult.
Astarion: After all, I know you'll spend the rest of your days dreaming about the nights we spent together. You lucky thing, you.
Halsin
Player: You wouldn't believe the conversation I've just had with Halsin…
Astarion: Ah, ha ha ha, I was wondering when you were going to ask me about this.
Player: How could you tell? / Player: Did he talk to you about it?
Astarion: I guessed. The man can't stay quiet about 'enjoying the freedom of Nature's gifts'. I bet he'd outlaw clothing if he could.
Player: It's all right with you? You don't sound fazed…
Astarion: The druid is unique. He has a lot of experience with this type of arrangement.
Astarion: Thus, I'm sure it would be quite a harmless affair.
Player: So, you wouldn't mind? If I had something with him? / Player: I wouldn't even consider it if it bothered you. / Player: I'm still not sure about it. I wanted to get your thoughts.
Pre-Cazador:
Astarion: I'm happy for you to have as much Halsin as you wish - but I do have one question.
Astarion: It's not because... you know... we haven't... in a while?
Player: Gods, I don't want you to think that for a moment.
Astarion: I know I was being foolish. But thank you for saying it.
Player: I've admired Halsin for a while, that's all it is.
Astarion: I'm fairly sure the only one in the camp who hasn't is Withers, but even with him one can never be certain.
Astarion: Even jerky was meat once.
Player: He propositioned me out of nowhere - I just want to see where it goes.
Astarion: What hovel were you living in, that you didn't see this coming back in the grove? Honestly. But that's fine.
Player: What I have with you is wholly different and very special to me.
Astarion: Aww.
Astarion: I know I was being foolish. But thank you for saying it.
Player: I don't want you to feel bad, but I have felt frustrated.
Astarion: Oh. Well, you would. Wouldn't you? It makes sense.
Post-Cazador, Spawn:
Astarion: I trust you to make choices that are not going to hurt what we have.
Player: I want to see what happens with him.
Astarion: Honestly, so do I. What an adventure for you!
Astarion: You're lucky I'm such an open-minded person.
Player: I care for you a great deal. That's never changing.
Astarion: After all this, I've realised it's all right if it does change. If anything changes.
Player: I don't know what lies ahead, but I trust you, too.
Astarion: You're lucky I'm such an open-minded person.
Post-Cazador, Ascended:
Astarion: It doesn't concern me. You are mine. No one can change that.
All end with: Astarion: Go right on with Halsin. Far be it from me to hold your hunger against you.
Individual Breakdowns:
Lae'zel
"Not that I wanted to hear it" and "sound more tender and loving lately" -- He knows about the relationship, and he knows it is already becoming "something real" faster than he was able to ask for "something real." This isn't news to him. He's had time to think about it.
"I am in no way comfortable with that!" On a first glance and initial hearing, at this point it can seem he doesn't like sharing despite already having done so. But then he continues: "Lae'zel would never approve and I value my life too much to get on her bad side." He knows (or rather, assumes) the answer is already a no from Lae'zel for this question. And Lae'zel is an intense woman who knows how to fight and isn't one to shy away from it. He knows agreeing to trying a polyamorous relationship with her and the PC is going to become a potentially slipper slope, especially when Lae'zel isn't romantically or sexually involved with him, too. She can easily become angered over the idea of sharing her partner if she does not agree, or she can easily become angered over any number of potential things in the future, be it jealousy or Astarion making mistakes from her perspective.
The fake, seductive relationship he has started with the PC is not worth the threat of death.
Shadowheart
"It's hardly a surprise you'd invest your heart in our Sharran." Aww he likes her <3 But in seriousness, once again, he is -- as he literally states this time -- not surprised. The relationship with Shadowheart becoming "official" may be news to him, but the connection she and the PC share is not.
"Maybe if Shadowheart had more experience in these affairs, or if you two weren't just starting out, but this? No." He is outright saying that the aspect of sharing the PC is not his concern: it is Shadowheart herself. Her lack of experience and fresh new relationship that was not started with this arrangement in mind is where he is drawing the line. But then he also adds: "Take it from someone with experience - hearts are built to break. They do it over the smallest things." He cannot personally see this working out. Shadowheart is dealing with a lot and can't even remember much of her own self. He isn't even worried about himself (yet) but Shadowheart being harmed by this. He's not assuming she will say no, but that she will say yes and get hurt because of him. This makes me feel as though he cannot see himself ever giving the PC "something real" beside Shadowheart, that him being there can only cause problems. I mean, that's all he knows, right?
"And if our favourite Sharran's heart breaks, I'm worried she might get a little... murdery?" Here it is again, right after his more concerned insight: "I'm afraid it will kill me. Literally." Lae'zel and Shadowheart are, after all, known for their "girlfighting" and how neither backs down. Lae'zel may be consistently intense, but Shadowheart is a dagger in the dark: something Astarion is very familiar with. He doesn't want Shadowheart to be hurt anyway, he doesn't want her heart broken, but he also knows with that comes the very real fact he could become a target. When he doesn't feel he has anything real on offer, it's just simply not worth the risk.
Karlach
"You and Karlach? Well that's certainly a... unique pairing." Funnily enough, Karlach seems to be the only one he is somewhat surprised by. But, that doesn't stop him from having very caring insight into her and the PC's relationship. "Imagine forgetting how it feels to hold someone. All because of what some devil did to her. But she has you now. I'm sure that's some comfort." Astarion and Karlach have a lot of dialogue throughout the game about understanding each other, and before the offer is even made he is saying he understands how important it must be to have someone care about you in the way you need it most after such torment. He knows having the PC is comfort: he was learning about that comfort, too.
"Darling, healthy relationships are not my strong point, but even I can see she loves you." I love this line so much for the irony of it. He isn't good with healthy relationships -- he hasn't had the opportunity to have one until now -- but he's talking on so many points of someone wanting the best for their friends and partner, even if that means losing his partner. He is seeking out the healthiest possible outcome he can think of by way of avoiding all the bad shit he knows. No, he's not perfect about it, but he's really damn good about it for where he's at.
"Normally I'd be all for finding an arrangement," PAUSE. Replay. "Normally I'd be all for finding an arrangement," is something I want to scream from the rooftops some days. He is blatantly stating here that the polyamory is of no concern to him. He's fine with it! Normally he would say yes. But this isn't his normal.
"[...] but hearts are fragile things at the best of times. And Karlach's? After what she's been through, it will need a very gentle hand. So let's not complicate things, hmm?" He is once again saying he doesn't want your other partner to be hurt. He's not saying he wouldn't share, he's saying that he can only see things ending poorly for the other partner. He wants you to give Karlach your full, careful, soft, loving, gentle attention. He thinks anything less would hurt her after she's only known hurt for a decade.
And while this is not an Astarion quote, I do want to highlight an option the PC has that summarizes my thoughts on most (definitely not all lol) of his reactions: "That is... surprisingly mature advice." He is actually thinking about how things may work instead of just jumping into it blindly or brushing it off for nothing. When he cares, he cares deeply, and he can explain these things.
Wyll
"Wyll's the sort of prince-type I would have once dreamed of marrying. When I was about thirteen." Ah, the beloved quote of all Wyllstarion shippers (hello). Astarion, being himself, of course has to brush off this little comment, but it is just another example of him caring about the other companions. It also lends itself to the thought of comparison. How Astarion views Wyll as the Perfect Hero type, while Astarion himself is a monster who can only harm; everybody can love Wyll, but no one is pining after the evil spawn.
"Come now, Wyll won't agree to that." Once again he's assuming a no from the other party. "He's stuck in the past, and that's coming from a vampire." A weird thing Larian does here (and a couple times elsewhere) about how polyamory is "newer" in an age and setting where that is simply not the case. However, going with it being seen that way: Astarion is saying that Wyll is obviously monogamous while Astarion is not. Ye old vampire spawn is "up to date" and open to such relationships, while the Dashing Young Hero is obsessed with the old fairytales of monogamous marriages who live happily ever after alone. Astarion isn't saying no to the idea of polyamory, he is saying that Wyll would say no.
"But if you ever get tired of your decades-long devotion to one another, I'm always here for a sordid affair." Astarion here is basically saying he's down to take the PC back in secret, since it is obvious to him that Wyll would say no, while also downplaying the "boring" partnership. Wyll may be a monster hunter, but Astarion is not actually afraid of him by this point. He doesn't worry about being attacked like with Lae'zel and Shadowheart. He doesn't even worry about hurting Wyll, quite honestly, but Wyll is also the type to hide his hurt very quickly. Those of us that care to look can see it, but perhaps Astarion is still too busy with the monster vs monster hunter and comparisons in his head to notice. "If only he was as sharp as me." Yes, Astarion, you need to put down the hero so you can feel a little better about yourself.
Gale
Now for, in my opinion anyway, the most amusing of Astarion's responses. "Gale of Waterdeep: a limp passion." A lovely start of putting down the other partner.
"Oh my dear, you're sweet, but we must have standards. I am not interested in being in any love triangle that involves Gale." This time he isn't assuming the other partner would say no, he's not assuming anyone will be hurt, but he is saying that he has standards for such an arrangement: not Gale. No deeper reasoning this time. Which is perfectly valid to just not vibe with the idea but is very funny when he has thought about the details for everyone else.
"After all, I know you'll spend the rest of your days dreaming about the nights we spent together. You lucky thing, you." And he ends it still talking down on Gale. The idea is fine, but Gale is not, and you'll miss me for it, next topic please!
Halsin
Halsin, Halsin, Halsin. The one everyone wants to talk about, but never in full, and never with respect. Astarion has not one potential conversation but three! Due to the timing of Halsin's confession, Astarion can be in three very different states of mind, and that changes how he approaches the topic with the PC -- but never changes his answer.
"Ah, ha ha ha, I was wondering when you were going to ask me about this." He knew! And, not to get out of order, but I must also bring up a later line: "What hovel were you living in, that you didn't see this coming back in the grove?" Some of the others he knew about, some maybe not so much, but he still (generally) gave careful thought to how sharing the PC as a partner might go within the timeframe of Act 1 into Act 2, if not on the spot. But Halsin? He saw it coming in the grove. He saw this conversation coming from months ago. He knew! So he has had more time to think about how Halsin would go about things than any other companion. He has had more time to figure out why it would not work out and just how he could say no to this like all the others. But he doesn't come up with anything.
"The druid is unique. He has a lot of experience with this type of arrangement. Thus, I'm sure it would be quite a harmless affair." Now, Astarion is assuming Halsin has done this "a lot" where he has -- even temporarily -- a partner with multiple steady partners, maybe multiple himself. But there is a certain level of trust and expectation with Halsin. Astarion doesn't have to worry about hurting the other partner: Halsin is asking for this type of relationship upfront. Astarion also doesn't have to worry about being harmed himself: Halsin isn't seeking to take from him, isn't possessive or jealous. This isn't Act 2 where the others are racing to claim the "real" relationship status. This is Act 3 where Astarion has "something real" with the PC and was chosen by them, and is now being asked his thoughts. The PC isn't going behind his back, they are seeking out a conversation about where their relationship is at, what it is, and if it could be open to at least one more.
First, the pre-Cazador conversation, the one that most people talk about.
"I'm happy for you to have as much Halsin as you wish - but I do have one question. It's not because... you know... we haven't... in a while?" Now, before we get to Astarion himself, I need to make one thing very clear that apparently isn't widely understood: polyamorous people are also people. Full human beings with the same wide array of emotions and feelings as monogamous people. Polyamorous people can get insecure, jealous, feel neglected, etc. no matter what their arrangement is. It does not mean they are not "really polyamorous," it just means that more communication needs to happen, potentially followed by change. A monogamous person may feel a little down about their relationship but can talk things through and come out the other side stronger with their partner together. This is the same with polyamorous people and their partners as well. Communication and respect is how you build all healthy relationships, not jumping ship at the first tiny pebble in the road. They are work, monogamous or polyamorous. And all relationships are unique to the partners within them -- even monogamous relationships are not “one size fits all,” no matter how people like to act that way. Now, back to Astarion.
"I'm happy for you to have as much Halsin as you wish [...]" He starts this with his answer upfront: yes, the PC can be with Halsin. He saw it coming, he doesn't see it as an issue, so yes. "[...] but I do have one question. It's not because... you know... we haven't... in a while?" Cazador is not dead yet, and Astarion is still stuck in his head. He's grown and healed just enough on this journey to have it in him to realize he does not need to be used anymore. He does not need to use himself. And he can say no, but he still isn't so certain on why the PC is with him. Astarion still can't see what he has to offer to someone who agreed to "something real." He still sees himself as a partner who is lacking, and so he can only assume Halsin is filling a void rather than expanding and adding to a whole.
As for how you can answer his insecurity...
"Gods, I don't want you to think that for a moment." is responded to with "I know I was being foolish. But thank you for saying it." He held a trust in the PC to bring it up -- something he couldn't even get the proper words out for -- and now he gets to hear it confirmed. He isn’t “lacking.” That’s not what they were thinking about when Halsin confessed, and that’s not how they view him. He is insecure and being supported by his partner.
"I've admired Halsin for a while, that's all it is." is responded to with "I'm fairly sure the only one in the camp who hasn't is Withers, but even with him one can never be certain. Even jerky was meat once." He's making a bit of a joke about it, as he does, but this also includes himself. Astarion has admired Halsin. It's not as sweet as two of the other responses since the PC isn't outright saying "no, this isn't just about the sex," but he is still unsurprised and basically veils a "me, too" response.
"He propositioned me out of nowhere - I just want to see where it goes." is responded to by what I brought up earlier: "What hovel were you living in, that you didn't see this coming back in the grove? Honestly. But that's fine." It almost feels like he's so surprised by the PC's oblivious comment that he entirely forgot about his insecurity. His partner wasn't thinking about sex because his partner was blind to the option? Wow! It must be an oddly reassuring response for him to be told there was no goal, they're just rolling with it. No, they weren't "missing out" because he was withholding sex.
"What I have with you is wholly different and very special to me." is responded to the same as the first but with an added "Aww." Now, I won't lie, his little "aw" feels a bit sarcastic -- like he is trying to make light of their sweet comment. After all, the sweet and nice things are not something Astarion knows what to do with ("Eugh, don't be so nice to me! It makes me want to be nice back." with the "Astarion approves" popping up in the corner, anyone?). Those aren't things people say about or to him! But he still says he knows it was foolish and thanks the PC for verbalizing their support, something he needed to hear in this moment. Ideally there would be more to this, but, alas, it is but a game. It is also a comment that builds up Astarion to push down Halsin, which personally rubs me the wrong way. But it is firstly just one of the options, and secondly in line with how Halsin is generally treated by the writing and game itself -- so I can't be too surprised it is there as a "supportive" remark.
Lastly, you can confirm his insecurity: "I don't want you to feel bad, but I have felt frustrated." is responded to with "Oh. Well, you would. Wouldn't you? It makes sense." Oh! Astarion wasn't actually expecting it. He put trust in his partner -- a very vulnerable thing to do for him to begin with -- to try "something real," and put more trust in asking for reassurance and now didn't get it. Oh. He follows that up with basically going "of course." Of course it was too good to be true that he wasn't a burden. Wasn't a lacking partner. But that isn't enough for him to rescind his answer from the start. "I don't want you to feel bad." The PC is still saying that they care. They still want him for who he is while they have been dealing with their own personal sexual frustrations. They didn't bring it up before and only brought it up now because he outright asked about it. Because "I don't want you to feel bad." Sometimes giving people what they need to grow and heal can leave you with minor and temporary inconveniences, frustrations, whatever they are for the situation. Despite his insecurity, I think he still understands this to at least some extent. His partner has stayed with him -- and is still staying with him -- to figure things out together. Because they want him, Astarion, not just his body. If it were truly a big issue, this would not be the conversation it is, nor would the PC have agreed to go without sex for so long.
Second, Astarion's reaction to the proposal post-Cazador while staying a spawn, which many seem to not know exists:
"I trust you to make choices that are not going to hurt what we have." If you think about how he reacts to most of the other companions, this is huge. First of all, even just the fact that he is outwardly stating that he trusts the PC, zero insecurity, is a major win for Astarion and his healing journey. He was already assuming that Halsin knows exactly what he's doing and won't be an issue, but now he's trusting that it also won't be an issue from the PC. He never mentions thinking about the PC hurting him before, only others. And now his only mention is that he trusts them not to? That, to me, feels like the start of something beautiful. The PC has given him the space he asked for and has helped him free himself of his abuser. The PC is now asking him for his thoughts, his approval, his consent. He sees them as someone to grow and heal with, someone that will respect him and do their best not to hurt him, someone that will communicate things, and fix mistakes should they arise despite all of that. The PC has proven many times over that they care about him and given him reason to actually believe he is more than his body to them. There is no fear anymore.
"I want to see what happens with him." is responded to with "Honestly, so do I. What an adventure for you!" Astarion is excited and enthusiastic! He wants to see his love be in love, see his love receive even more love. Not to quote Halsin here, but Astarion doesn't feel the need to "hoard" the PC all to himself. It has never once been a concern before anyway, but he is now explicitly saying he thinks this is going to be a fun adventure he's interested in watching unfold.
"I care for you a great deal. That's never changing." is responded to with "After all this, I've realised it's all right if it does change. If anything changes." One of my favorite lines, and a sentiment he can also repeat in the bedroom between the fall of the Netherbrain and the epilogue party. Astarion is safe and secure in himself. He knows he will be okay even if his love fades off to something or someone else. He is calm, soft, content. He loves the PC and knows they love him back, but he also knows that sometimes things change. But he now knows that change isn't the end of everything. Change can be good or just neutral. And even if it is bad, Astarion is a survivor. He will be okay, no matter what his new freedom throws at him.
"I don't know what lies ahead, but I trust you, too." is responded to with "You're lucky I'm such an open-minded person." (As does the first one, but this is the only line for this response, so I split them.) Again, being a bit odd that this is somehow not anywhere close to the norm, but we're rolling with it. This little interaction, to me, reads like two people taking their first steps into a great unknown. This is their first step together into the world of polyamory together. Whether the PC was poly before or not, or had experience, this is the first time Astarion gets to experience this with consent. And the PC is even admitting they don't know what this open relationship with Halsin will lead to, but they are putting trust in each other regardless. Trust, the thing that Astarion couldn't afford to give in centuries, and now it is mutual and satisfying. And he's a little silly once more, giving his little "you're lucky" comment. Almost teasing about how great he is. Like, "yes! I can be a good partner, too!" And in a way that doesn't even mention the bedroom.
Third, Astarion's reaction post-Cazador when he ascends:
"It doesn't concern me. You are mine. No one can change that." This time there is no option for the PC to respond. It is a simple "no one can take you from me, Halsin means nothing to me." The proposal doesn't bother him, because the proposal doesn't even touch him. "It doesn't concern me." Astarion who ascends feels he has all the power in the world, and, more than likely, has made the PC his spawn by this point. Even if not, he cannot fathom the thought that anything could take the PC from him, certainly not the carefree druid they met via having to rescue him. He feels that he can give them everything -- a little roll in the hay with the bear of an elf is nothing more than a tiny treat for his partner to be distracted by until bored. They will always come back to him.
And lastly, each ends the same way, just as they start the same way:
"Go right on with Halsin. Far be it from me to hold your hunger against you." He's teasing once more, but he is sincere. He's not taking back what he said or pulling out the rug from a false hope. There was no pushing, no convincing, no persuasion, none of that. Just a conversation between partners communicating about their relationship. And a vampire pun.
(Before moving on, I just wanted to note that there seems to be no way to offer him a polyamorous relationship with Minthara. He simply has the generic "Is it true? You've decided to replace me?" conversation. I would love to know his thoughts on it, but I assume they would be fairly similar to Lae'zel and Shadowheart: he would rather not die!)
Putting It All Together
The TLDR; of this all is: Astarion does not have any hang-ups about polyamory, and even says he basically is poly himself!
He is actually thinking about the idea of a polyamorous relationship with all these people and what that may look like, not just brushing it off at the initial proposal. He may only see the potential for bad because that is basically all he knows (and he doesn't think he has anything much to offer during most of this), but he still thinks about each person individually in such a relationship. He is never looking down on the idea of sharing but rather looking into each person as an individual within such an arrangement. He sees people he cares about getting hurt after they start to see the light in the PC. He sees people becoming angered by the PC being shared with someone like him and harming him. And he sees Halsin, someone who he sees as being experienced and safe.
Astarion cares more deeply than he lets on, while also looking out for his own physical safety, but still has an emotionally intelligent thought process when he is given such a topic. Is he a bit pessimistic when it comes to the origin companions? Maybe, probably. Is he by chance wrong about some of them not working out? Also maybe! Could he be wrong about even Halsin being a safe bet for this first experience of his? Yeah! Anything is possible. He is making a lot of assumptions. But he is making them based on observations and looking deeper than each person's masks. He had to pay attention for survival, and now he is using that to see his friends more deeply.
In a world where large games got the time they needed, and in a world where the inclusion of polyamorous options in those large games were treated with more care and respect, we would actually be able to have true conversations between the partners themselves. They would interact. We as players could explain no parties involved are "lesser" than another when such concerns were raised. All writers involved would understand that the proposed relationship was still romantic and not "just a fling" and treat it accordingly -- not leaving it in a way that makes some players confused as to what they are agreeing to.
But, we don't have that, so we can only get Astarion's assumptions. And to be quite fair to him? He seems to know what he's talking about. He pays attention for his own survival, and, even when he talks about just himself, he has a somewhat surprising emotional intelligence. He doesn't mind the idea of sharing, but he wants to make sure it has a real shot at working out!
Some Extra Bits
The devnote for "What hovel were you living in, that you didn't see this coming back in the grove? Honestly. But that's fine." is simply "affectionately." Teasing his oblivious partner! Cute <3
The devnote for "Go right on with Halsin. Far be it from me to hold your hunger against you." is "genuine about it." That's the tone he's meant to be using: genuinely. No matter where he is at, Halsin is safe to him! He couldn't come up with a reason for why or how Halsin would be harmed or harm him in months of thinking about it.
And a little semi-personal note: This whole thing? Written by someone who does not even consider themself polyamorous. It is okay to say that Astarion's (or anyone's) poly option is just not for you. It is okay to say you don't like how it was handled, especially in the only path you may have gotten in-game. But it is also very easy to sit back, remember this is a game limited by many things, and not start talking about extremely polyphobic and infantilizing things for the sake of "protecting" a fictional man who actually makes himself quite clear multiple times.
Listen, and let him have his newfound autonomy. If you cannot accept a "yes" because you "know what is best for him," then you're merely one step from not accepting a "no" for the same reason.
turnnoffyourmind
snowghoul
blakekathryn
areudirty
origamiaround
tangentwithtanner
gracieabrams
