i am the whole circus.

S ❤ They/it ❤ Please read /byf ❤ Remade 11/19/2019

[selwynparent]

if you’re going to try to send me anon opinions on how kids who hiss are actually idiots who need to be bullied:

your baggage isn’t my problem. go to therapy and work it out, stop expecting me, an autistic person who was severely bullied to the point of leaving school for being ‘cringey’, to say your opinions are totally right and there’s nothing wrong with bullying and abusing a child. get professional help, and get off a website that has a large amount of teenager users before you cause harm to one of them and do something you can’t call an accident anymore.

[homemadegirlbossbattle]

ROUND 1 / SIDE A / POLL 10

The Storytelling Witch "Story" (@cloverses) vs. Eve Harrison (@thetechnicolorphase)

Story info:

Description: A witch who acts at the whims of fate as the 'darker' side. She takes great pride in her work- perhaps a little too much, considering what it involves...

Crimes: Murder, stealing, arson, 'the ends justify the means' type things, corruption of innocents, cursing children (literally), general storybook witch nonsense that's too numerous to list... And in her free time, giving power to people who shouldn't have power, making deals that are horribly skewed in her favour, having a corpse in her basement, almost definitely poisoning people for fun and not profit, and ignoring the laws of nature.

Other notes from the submitter: she's 7'8" if that counts for anything also. and single. but i really don't think you want to get involved with her romantically.

Eve Harrison info:

Description: Meet Eve! The local lesbian science teacher in a small town who has a passion for biology AND a passion for being the center of attention for everything. She's friendly, but also really really eccentric and self-serving. She has not a care in the world for anything but whatever crazy schemes she decides that she wants to do (and they can get REALLY crazy). She's wacky, a little unhinged, and loves to make dad jokes. I think her clashing socks and patterned button-ups sends a pretty good representation of who she is. Also, she has a bit of a pathetic streak because when she doesn't get what she wants she makes like the sad SpongeBob face and it never gets her anywhere. She is a certified #girlboss and is making the most of the fact that she is living through the microbe apocalypse (much to the dismay of the protagonist of this story!) Oh and how could I forget! She's evil. She is so evil, she loves being villainous and isn't afraid to show it!!

Crimes:

Attempted to get one of her students (the protagonist) killed by microbe aliens. After getting turned into one of said microbe aliens she has killed like, at LEAST 50 people. Probably more. Including her own students and friends. Has been purposely spreading alien microbes to people in order to grow the hivemind that's formed from the microbe apocalypse. Has unethically experimented on people, animals, and herself for her own studies and goals. Currently is hunting down the protagonist to try and experiment on her.

Other notes from the submitter: #EVESWEEP she is so silly and so so evil it's like all the evilness of her town got wrapped into one very eccentric lady, I hope everyone enjoys her >:D

WHO WINS?

The Storytelling Witch

Eve Harrison

Voting ended onApr 13, 2023

[cloverses]

more reasons you should vote story:

pt 1

pt 2

thank you for your consideration! ♡

[homemadegirlbossbattle]

ROUND 1 / SIDE A / POLL 10

The Storytelling Witch "Story" (@cloverses) vs. Eve Harrison (@thetechnicolorphase)

Story info:

Description: A witch who acts at the whims of fate as the 'darker' side. She takes great pride in her work- perhaps a little too much, considering what it involves...

Crimes: Murder, stealing, arson, 'the ends justify the means' type things, corruption of innocents, cursing children (literally), general storybook witch nonsense that's too numerous to list... And in her free time, giving power to people who shouldn't have power, making deals that are horribly skewed in her favour, having a corpse in her basement, almost definitely poisoning people for fun and not profit, and ignoring the laws of nature.

Other notes from the submitter: she's 7'8" if that counts for anything also. and single. but i really don't think you want to get involved with her romantically.

Eve Harrison info:

Description: Meet Eve! The local lesbian science teacher in a small town who has a passion for biology AND a passion for being the center of attention for everything. She's friendly, but also really really eccentric and self-serving. She has not a care in the world for anything but whatever crazy schemes she decides that she wants to do (and they can get REALLY crazy). She's wacky, a little unhinged, and loves to make dad jokes. I think her clashing socks and patterned button-ups sends a pretty good representation of who she is. Also, she has a bit of a pathetic streak because when she doesn't get what she wants she makes like the sad SpongeBob face and it never gets her anywhere. She is a certified #girlboss and is making the most of the fact that she is living through the microbe apocalypse (much to the dismay of the protagonist of this story!) Oh and how could I forget! She's evil. She is so evil, she loves being villainous and isn't afraid to show it!!

Crimes:

Attempted to get one of her students (the protagonist) killed by microbe aliens. After getting turned into one of said microbe aliens she has killed like, at LEAST 50 people. Probably more. Including her own students and friends. Has been purposely spreading alien microbes to people in order to grow the hivemind that's formed from the microbe apocalypse. Has unethically experimented on people, animals, and herself for her own studies and goals. Currently is hunting down the protagonist to try and experiment on her.

Other notes from the submitter: #EVESWEEP she is so silly and so so evil it's like all the evilness of her town got wrapped into one very eccentric lady, I hope everyone enjoys her >:D

WHO WINS?

The Storytelling Witch

Eve Harrison

Voting ended onApr 13, 2023

[cloverses]

more reasons you should vote story:

pt 1

pt 2

thank you for your consideration! ♡

[homemadegirlbossbattle]

ROUND 1 / SIDE A / POLL 10

The Storytelling Witch "Story" (@cloverses) vs. Eve Harrison (@thetechnicolorphase)

Story info:

Description: A witch who acts at the whims of fate as the 'darker' side. She takes great pride in her work- perhaps a little too much, considering what it involves...

Crimes: Murder, stealing, arson, 'the ends justify the means' type things, corruption of innocents, cursing children (literally), general storybook witch nonsense that's too numerous to list... And in her free time, giving power to people who shouldn't have power, making deals that are horribly skewed in her favour, having a corpse in her basement, almost definitely poisoning people for fun and not profit, and ignoring the laws of nature.

Other notes from the submitter: she's 7'8" if that counts for anything also. and single. but i really don't think you want to get involved with her romantically.

Eve Harrison info:

Description: Meet Eve! The local lesbian science teacher in a small town who has a passion for biology AND a passion for being the center of attention for everything. She's friendly, but also really really eccentric and self-serving. She has not a care in the world for anything but whatever crazy schemes she decides that she wants to do (and they can get REALLY crazy). She's wacky, a little unhinged, and loves to make dad jokes. I think her clashing socks and patterned button-ups sends a pretty good representation of who she is. Also, she has a bit of a pathetic streak because when she doesn't get what she wants she makes like the sad SpongeBob face and it never gets her anywhere. She is a certified #girlboss and is making the most of the fact that she is living through the microbe apocalypse (much to the dismay of the protagonist of this story!) Oh and how could I forget! She's evil. She is so evil, she loves being villainous and isn't afraid to show it!!

Crimes:

Attempted to get one of her students (the protagonist) killed by microbe aliens. After getting turned into one of said microbe aliens she has killed like, at LEAST 50 people. Probably more. Including her own students and friends. Has been purposely spreading alien microbes to people in order to grow the hivemind that's formed from the microbe apocalypse. Has unethically experimented on people, animals, and herself for her own studies and goals. Currently is hunting down the protagonist to try and experiment on her.

Other notes from the submitter: #EVESWEEP she is so silly and so so evil it's like all the evilness of her town got wrapped into one very eccentric lady, I hope everyone enjoys her >:D

WHO WINS?

The Storytelling Witch

Eve Harrison

Voting ended onApr 13, 2023

[cloverses]

more reasons you should vote story:

pt 1

pt 2

thank you for your consideration! ♡

[homemadegirlbossbattle]

ROUND 1 / SIDE A / POLL 10

The Storytelling Witch "Story" (@cloverses) vs. Eve Harrison (@thetechnicolorphase)

Story info:

Description: A witch who acts at the whims of fate as the 'darker' side. She takes great pride in her work- perhaps a little too much, considering what it involves...

Crimes: Murder, stealing, arson, 'the ends justify the means' type things, corruption of innocents, cursing children (literally), general storybook witch nonsense that's too numerous to list... And in her free time, giving power to people who shouldn't have power, making deals that are horribly skewed in her favour, having a corpse in her basement, almost definitely poisoning people for fun and not profit, and ignoring the laws of nature.

Other notes from the submitter: she's 7'8" if that counts for anything also. and single. but i really don't think you want to get involved with her romantically.

Eve Harrison info:

Description: Meet Eve! The local lesbian science teacher in a small town who has a passion for biology AND a passion for being the center of attention for everything. She's friendly, but also really really eccentric and self-serving. She has not a care in the world for anything but whatever crazy schemes she decides that she wants to do (and they can get REALLY crazy). She's wacky, a little unhinged, and loves to make dad jokes. I think her clashing socks and patterned button-ups sends a pretty good representation of who she is. Also, she has a bit of a pathetic streak because when she doesn't get what she wants she makes like the sad SpongeBob face and it never gets her anywhere. She is a certified #girlboss and is making the most of the fact that she is living through the microbe apocalypse (much to the dismay of the protagonist of this story!) Oh and how could I forget! She's evil. She is so evil, she loves being villainous and isn't afraid to show it!!

Crimes:

Attempted to get one of her students (the protagonist) killed by microbe aliens. After getting turned into one of said microbe aliens she has killed like, at LEAST 50 people. Probably more. Including her own students and friends. Has been purposely spreading alien microbes to people in order to grow the hivemind that's formed from the microbe apocalypse. Has unethically experimented on people, animals, and herself for her own studies and goals. Currently is hunting down the protagonist to try and experiment on her.

Other notes from the submitter: #EVESWEEP she is so silly and so so evil it's like all the evilness of her town got wrapped into one very eccentric lady, I hope everyone enjoys her >:D

WHO WINS?

The Storytelling Witch

Eve Harrison

Voting ended onApr 13, 2023

[cloverses]

more reasons you should vote story:

pt 1

pt 2

thank you for your consideration! ♡

[ladyshinga]

My roommate introduced me to a D&D podcast called Dungeons and Daddies about a group of dorky suburban dads who get transported, along with their kids, to D&D land. Anyway it’s fun, hilarious, the story is well done, etc.

But something they do at the start of every episode is something called Dad Facts. Each player lists off a dad fact about their character, something about their interests or history or personality, that the other characters would have known but “off camera” rather than having all these details RP’d out. After all, your characters in games spend a LOT of downtime together in between scenes, this sort of stuff WOULD have come up.

So, now, just about EVERY RP game I’m in has incorporated Dad Facts, including ones where I and my roommate are the only ones who’ve heard the damn podcast. Some players don’t even know why we CALL them “dad facts”, but they still run with it.

Anyway I recommend it to every RP group. NOT right away, if your characters have JUST met, because some of this shit just flat out won’t be known until after you’ve already had that downtime together.

Some of mine are big and revealing, some are as simple as “Zenrae doesn’t like eating fish” or “Theria only drinks sweet wine and otherwise finds alcohol offputting” - little moments and traits and stuff you want to get out there but haven’t been able to. It helps you flesh your own character out, helps you get to know the other characters better, and helps RP along SO. MUCH. I have used others’ dad facts to help RP in game and I can’t stress enough how fun that is

And I swear in my groups I tried, like, two whole times to coin a term OTHER than “dad facts” but nope. Dad Facts is sticking.

Anyway that’s my ramble for the day

[selwynparent]

i came back to this blog with no hate in my inbox... man i expected worse of you all since that post is huge now

[spiderworries]

Welcome to my bathroom. Please make yourself at home. I assure you, you will sustain no long term damage from your stay. Now. Wouldn’t you like to take a soak in my lovely bathtub?

Isn’t that comfortable! What’s that? You like my wallpaper? I’m so glad!

I went to great lengths to acquire it. You see, they haven’t made this color in centuries. But don’t worry, i made sure this is genuine.

Now, would you like a cup of tea? You can pick a glass from my personal collection!

Green is such a stunning color, isn’t it? I’m so glad this space is getting some use. Well, I think it’s time for you to take your leave. How are you feeling? Relaxed? I’m so glad. Feel free to come back any time you like. I have health conditions that make it unable for me to be in this room for more than a few minutes at a time, and I’d truly hate for it to go to waste. Goodbye, then!

[spiderworries]

Radioactive? What do you mean! I assure you, my bathroom is not damaging to your health or well being in any way, shape or form. In fact, it’s good for you! If you don’t believe me, why don’t you take a rest in the bathtub and see for yourself!

[selwynparent]

does anyone know what the transition should be like for a western hognose to go from aspen to sand/dirt mix? ive seen some people who changed them over right away without any issue, but im wondering if i should change a portion to soil/sand mix and not all of it at once, or if my snake would be fine switching over entirely.

also, is there a certain mixture i should follow? like 1 part soil to 4 parts sand?

[selwynparent]

[floramaisel]

Hey here are some small tips and tidbits from a bartender so y'all can write some realistic bartender aus!

believe it or not we drink on the job, it's rude to decline a drink offered to you by a customer

yes. I've gotten drunk on the job. yes it was cause I was bought a number of jagerbombs. no I didn't go home or fuck up.

'kiss the bartender' is a popular dare at small bars and private functions. whether it's on the cheek or on the lips is totally up to you

I have been offered people's number in a variety of ways. sometimes I've been handed a note, other times I've just been handed someone's phone on the 'add a new contact' page. girls are more direct, guys try the subtler approach of flirting until declined

Your average bartender doesn't always know cocktails. Especially if they're not on the menu.

Y'all cocktails are potent. If your character is downing ten long Island iced teas they're going to hospital

we live for tips. You could be the biggest cunt in the world but if tip me a fiver I'll put on a fake af smile and pretend you're a sound guy

speaking of. Young people tend to buy you drinks, older people tend to tip you.

There's a number of bar calls we use. 86 means we're out of stock. 68 means we're back in stock. More relevant for fic writers however: 700 means a hot customer, usually aimed at women but can be used for guys too. eg. 'lady in red. 700'

If someone asks what 700 means when asked. We lie through our teeth. We usually say it means you need serving or you look drunk.

That's all I can think of right now. But if you have any questions send me an ask! I've been a bartender for a while now, so I like to think I know my stuff.

[floramaisel]

I don't know what y'all think bartenders do when the bar shuts but it's defo not hanging around at the bar with the cute customer sharing a drink. We've gotta clean that fucker. All the glasses get cleaned. All the stock gets replenished. All the sides get wiped down. It's exhausting.

Every cellar in a bar looks like a serial killers basement don't @ me (I have asked someone to come with me on 2 occasions when I needed to change a barrel when the electricity wasn't working down there)

(side note. If its a cellar like, hatch in the floor cellar, there is some solid content there for injuries and whatnot. I have seen people not realise the hatch is open and just,, step into a hole)

I dress for tips. My managers actively encourages this. A lot of managers at bars are kinda sleazy.

bartenders fight over who's serving the hot customer through extreme staring and power walking

Nobody is more attractive than the person who brings their empty glasses back to the bar (ily)

in the UK it is ILLEGAL to pour someone a triple. You can pour someone a double and a shot on the side and if the customer pours the shot into their double then that's on them, but you as a bartender cannot serve a triple in one glass.

Its also illegal to have a happy hour but if y'all wanna forget that for a 'I'll make it a happy hour *wink wink nudge nudge*' pun, go feral

my absolute favourite term in bartending is lizard. If someone orders a round and then at the end is like 'oh and two guinness' absolute lizard behaviour

someone clicks their fingers to get your attention? Lizard. Also not getting served.

I love it.

You don't smell of cologne and fine whiskey after or during a shift. You smell like you've been on a week long alcoholic binge and missed your mouth the entire time. You fuckin reek and require a shower.

[luimnigh]

BTW, the reason why ordering Guinness last is bad: a proper Guinness needs to be poured most of the way, then given time to settle before pouring the last of it. Usually around a minute and a half.

Otherwise, the Guinness doesn't achieve the distinctive head that it's known for.

So with Guinness having the wait time built in, most bartenders will pour the Guinness first, and do the rest of the orders during the wait, then finish the Guinness. Ordering a Guinness last means they have to drop the drink they're currently making (because they will have started making your order as you speak, especially for a round order) to make the Guinness, or otherwise they will have to wait the minute and half alongside you. Which would really piss them off.

And as an extra note: you can't drink the Guinness immediately after the second pour. You need to wait for the second pour to settle. You'll known it has done this when the brown frothy liquid beneath the head has turned a uniform black.

Source: Brother is a bartender, and I am born, raised and living in Ireland.

[sawasawako-archived]

me giving relationship advice: communicate or end it

[sawasawako-archived]

like, i genuinely believe most problems in the average relationship can be dealt with if the people involved just had an honest, open conversation with each other. it doesn’t have to reach a resolution or be peaceable or anything, just hash things out. air out dirty laundry. all parties have a responsibility. one person can’t be doing all the work while the other just stonewalls, indefinitely. work your shit out, no matter how long it takes and how messy it is, bc that’s the test of love/friendship. you fail it if you end things prematurely, and you fail it if you unilaterally fashion yourself as the victim/wronged party and the other as the perpetrator/aggressor. a relationship should be 50/50, and that means taking on the share of the work it takes to mend and maintain relations when the going gets tough. relationships require effort, and a lot of it is just conflict mediation & resolution, which requires all parties to play their part. easier said than done, obviously, but that’s all the more reason to work at it

[dingdongyouarewrong]

i went on what was ostensibly a bi activism blog and about 12 out of their most recent 20 posts were all about how Pansexuals Bad. i swear this bi vs pan shit is just a psyop to stop people from talking about bi issues that actually, like, affect real people’s lives in a material way

[doubleca5t]

me every other day on this webbed site

[selwynparent]

dude i used to hiss/snarl/growl.... and i still do it A LOT... i didn't know it was a thing others did too afhbjj. i've been thinking maybe i'm on the spectrum and am working towards getting a screening and this just ... helps. thank you

while not everyone who does it may be on the spectrum, it definitely seems to be a very common trait- if you already suspect you might be, then odds are, you are!!!

honestly that post is my legacy and i like it as a legacy bc... i’ve had so many people comment on it or tell me they did it so much, and used to shame themselves, and that my post helped them realize that it was likely FROM being shamed by others.

people don’t do stuff like that without a reason. and hey, maybe they did it literally just bc they loved animals and were that kind of kid! that doesnt mean they’re any less valid, and you’re still bullying an actual human being- usually a child, at that.

[timesuggestion]

forgiving yourself is the hardest step you can take in recovery, but once you do, everything else comes easier. you don't need to forgive everyone else, you don't need everyone else to forgive you; it's hard, but the most important person holding the grudge for all that you've done in your past is you.

you were young.

you learned better.

you grew.

you don't scold a flower for needing extra water on dry days. you won't hate yourself forever. it's hard to believe, but one day, you'll look back with love for how naïve you were, and wish you could hold yourself tight and whisper, "i'm sorry for taking so long. i love you."

[bakwaaas]

hard pill to swallow: the idea that your ‘soulmate’ or ‘the one’ will know exactly how to make you happy without you ever having to communicate is fake. the fantasy that you will have all your needs met in a relationship without ever having to be vulnerable is fundamentally not true. sometimes you have to express your needs and desires, you have to ask for things, you have to communicate how you want to be loved, it’s uncomfortable and clumsy but relationships are about learning to love each other not being a mind reader

[selwynparent]

spare a nod towards my poetry please..........