You're gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow @serialcouchpotato - Tumblr Blog

shit man tomorrow is christmas eve i swear yesterday was June 2010

As is tradition in tumblr culture the locals unearth the corpse of a long deceased figure and drag it across the streets merrily, laughing at what is preserved of the person’s words. This custom, seen as morbid in other cultures, is instead done gleefully and with an unmatched enthusiasm

calkestis

IAN McDIARMID as EMPEROR PALPATINE on the set of Obi-Wan Kenobi | Obi-Wan Kenobi: A Jedi’s Return (2022)

iamnmbr3

legit thought this was the character saying it at first

forkingandcottage-deactivated20

via indiarosecrawford

Frog Paints a Water Lily Pond 🪷🎨🐸

𝑓ₒᵣ ⲕᵢ𝑛𝑔 ₐ𝑛𝑑 𝑐ₒ𝑡𝑡ₐ𝑔ₑ

grumpygreenwitch

Ok, I adore the Frogs to begin with, but the sheer finesse and dedication of this one boggles my mind.

hms-no-fun

me: this is cute and precious

my brain: 45 years ago this person could've made a public access television show that ran for half a decade on the strength of this concept with the right framing device and it would've been paid for with federal arts grants and maybe even national syndication rights. now they're begging for a single minute of engagement on tiktok in the hopes that maybe someday the abstract metrics of digital media platforms will translate into a tangible career

me: yeah me: cute frog though

my brain: it is a cute frog

amwult

my least favourite turn based strategy game is email

autism-affirmations

cracked and bleeding hands are not more tolerable than the feeling of lotion

headspace-hotel

This account has just punched me in the face like 12 times

viktor-the-leshen

kira-serialfaggot

7kqe3j9fzdwm-deactivated2025110

he would not say that.

alexiaroselikethewine

I was there when he said it actually

7kqe3j9fzdwm-deactivated2025110

"oh yeah even if your opponent has an unexpected advantage that completely turns the tides of battle (you thought they were unarmed when they aren't) you shook totally just keep going with your current plan, otherwise you're a coward"

he would not say that.

alexiaroselikethewine

you're just afraid of a big thick girlcock

gnilliam

abalidoth

Whether Sun Tzu would be into girldick is completely orthogonal to whether he would give bullshit bravado advice that will get you killed. He's the "logistics win wars" guy.

His ladycock advice would be more like "The wise general chooses an adversary who uses familiar techniques."

fallenangelvictorious

there is a lot we will forgive for girlcock on this site but misconstruing Sun Tzu is NOT on that list

homunculus-argument

Things cats were right about all along:

Fuck staying hydrated by drinking enough water - eat! more! wet! food! (watermelon, cucumbers, SOUP!)

Feels great to be really high up in your house where you can see the whole place (loft bed loft bed loft bed loft bed!)

Express yourself as clearly as possible when people are touching you and you don't want them to.

Optional, but you can also express yourself clearly when your people are not touching you and you want them to.

Sometimes it's important to just go "hmm. actually, I don't care" and wander off.

You don't have to be the strongest or toughest to defend yourself, it's enough to just be difficult enough to not be worth the trouble.

Ghosts will eventually leave if you stare at them for long enough.

batsandboba

o/ <- person waving

o7 <- person saluting

ol <- person raising hand

o1 <- person scratching head

\o> <- person stretching

chaos--themralds

\o/ <- woohoo!

the-text-party

<o> <- EXTREME STRESS, LIKE "OH FUCK OH SHIT" STRESS

mijomii

orz <- the person is on their hands and knees, on the floor, god what happened to them

OTL <- same, but we are now closer to them (mb softly pat their back or something)

brightsunnydaysofcastamere

or2 <- the person is still on their hands and knees but they've got a fat ass now

deepinourengines

im pregnant and its nobodys. it aint even mine

puter-wizard

Two reactions

bean-wrld

There’s a lot of things you’ve done that Becky doesn’t know about

cityelf

#“thanks! and same”

foldingfittedsheets

Back when I was first leaving the mattress store in 2017 I interviewed at a few places. One was Tesla, the other a jewelry store. I wasn’t a fan of Musk, but I liked the idea of electric cars and I’ve always excelled at sales so I felt like it was worth considering.

I arrived and chatted with the sales manager who said everyone started on phones before they could work their way up. I was a little wary of that as I’m not a phone person but she laughed and said, “Well, you know. We’re still just a startup, so everyone has to put in the hours.”

I stared at her in confusion. Tesla. A startup. In 2017. What???

I laughed a little and suggested that it was past that stage of growth but she doubled down and repeated it later. I remained baffled. After the interview she offered to let me talk to an employee to see how happy she was.

I readily agreed. The manager left. I asked the employee how happy she was.

She said that sometimes pay was late, that promotions were promised that didn’t manifest for months, but that overall she liked working there and cut them slack because they were still just a startup.

I stared at her. It was like listening to a cultist repeating a phrase that was in direct contradiction with reality. I wanted to ask what she thought a startup was but I just thanked her for her time.

I got offered both jobs, Tesla or jewelry. Jewelry offered four more dollars an hour. When I turned down the Tesla lady I kindly said that I didn’t feel there was as much job security in a startup.