Revenge Bedtime Procrastination! It's $Free.99!
My sister telling me she saw a video about revenge bedtime procrastination and she IMMEDIATELY thought of me.
I'm BUSTED

if i look back, i am lost
tumblr dot com
🪼
Acquired Stardust

PR's Tumblrdome

Discoholic 🪩
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
wallacepolsom
No title available
ojovivo
$LAYYYTER

oozey mess
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

tannertan36
Cosimo Galluzzi
DEAR READER

⁂

@theartofmadeline
occasionally subtle

seen from Russia

seen from United States
seen from Canada

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Hong Kong SAR China
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from Singapore
seen from Singapore
seen from Australia
seen from United States

seen from Singapore

seen from Malaysia
seen from Netherlands

seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
@serphantel
Revenge Bedtime Procrastination! It's $Free.99!
My sister telling me she saw a video about revenge bedtime procrastination and she IMMEDIATELY thought of me.
I'm BUSTED
it's hard being a polyamorous action hero because whenever i have flashbacks to all my dead wives it takes like 20 minutes to get through all of it
it kind of sounds like youre just feeding local women to the deadwife montage
@serphantel's Valentine and Night's White Day Response
@serphantel sent this Valentine to the deer, the kitten, and Night respectively:
Night's White Day reply:
"Haha, the deer and the kitten look really cozy on that boat...or are they actually there to judge you while you woo?"
"Why would they be there to judge - huh...you know, they are looking pretty intensely...maybe it's a good thing we're not on that White Day outing?"
"What are you doin' on a date that you're worried about a deer and a cat lookin' at you? It's just a deer and a cat."
"It's not 'just' a deer and a cat! It's a deer and a kitten!"
"'kay. Big whoop."
"if you aren't careful...they'll eat all the food while you're on your White Day trip!"
"Right...don't think that's what the two bozos are nervous about."
"Oi!"
"Who are you calling bozos?! You don't think it would be odd to be stared at throughout the whole evening?"
"And to have to watch your food all night..."
"Speaking of food, I spy with my little eye something...interesting."
[He looks at the woods. A bulky shadow sways from a distant tree branch. He heads over to take a look.]
"Aha, he's gone!"
[Ambrosia crouches down and reaches out to start stroking the kitten's head.]
"Aww, you're so cute...it took every bit of me to resist tellnig Sir X - Lady Bo-Peep is right! It's not just a deer and a kitten...they are absolute adorableness.
Hehe...I'm so glad Lady Serph gave me this secret extra something. Although, I didn't think he should have the full cookie so I ate most of it. It was delicious! If you have more, I would certainly be happy to partake.
Now, here's a treat for you, little kitty..."
[When Night has gone over, he sees a jar hanging from a branch with a rope. Inside the jar is a quarter of a cookie. He smiles as he reaches up for it.]
"And here, I almost thought there would be...something else hanging here. It's just a cookie."
[Popping open the jar, he withdraws the cookie and take a bite.]
"Mm...I know your taste, Serph. I'll be seeing you soon."
being online is so scary aren't you guys worried about the world wide spider
It took 36 years for someone to make this joke and by god it was worth the wait
I love this so much! Also it triggered a memory and I spent far longer than I want to admit trying to find this 2002(ish) pic from Aussie cartoonist Judy Horacek
i love this!
i did a bit of digging and found that some bloke named Simon Brooke used the OP's joke as his email signature at least as early as March 14th, 1995 according to this quoted text. it takes a while to find a preserved copy of something Simon said but here's an example from mid-96:
My bad
I love a highly specific pet advert
To anyone who saw my Part 1 post—welcome back! This is Part 2 of what I submitted for Poison Apple Tales’ annual Valentine Event!
Just like Part 1, this includes:
Friendship Valentine Grams for the ladies
Romantic Valentine Grams for the guys
And a few extra surprises I started 10 months ago before life got busy
I also included the animals from the game—Caramel, the kitties, and others I might’ve forgotten.
And for anyone who sees Valentine’s Day differently, whether you’re celebrating love, friendship, healing, or self‑love, I hope this brings you a little warmth today.
Special thanks to @poisonappletales for hosting this event again. Stay safe and take care, everyone. -------- P.S. Small typo in Wind’s Valentine Gram — I meant to write "What do you think?"
"Hahaha! What kind of wrestling tips are those?"
"Look, I had to fit them on candy hearts, all right? Besides, it totally makes sense."
"Those hot wings sure are good, huh?"
"I bet you would be the one to weep at the intensity of the spice."
"What, like you?"
"Tch! W-Well...it takes one to know one!"
"Thank you very much for the creams and everything! It will be so nice to have a ladies' spa trip. I just hope my advice before didn't you get you into any trouble with Sir Thunder..."
"My...lemonade is that spicy, huh?"
"is anyone going to explain why Onyx killed Tattoo Guy?"
"As you can see, it's on King Barium's orders."
"Okay, I see that...but why did he order it?"
[smiles]"Order what? I'm just ordering ice cream."
"Maybe he was just randomized. Like in Among Us. Ooh, let's play again!"
"Are you trying to get somebody else killed on Mars?!"
"Oh? Who says it has to be Mars? Let's fly to the moon instead...kehehe!"
"Ugh, the paper cut-out is seriously ridiculous..."
i need feminism because when jesus does a magic trick it’s a goddamn miracle but when a woman does a magic trick she gets burned at the stake
fabulous
i mean they did also kill jesus. that was a pretty significant thing that happened. like i understand where you’re coming from here but they very much did kill jesus.
#HAPPY GOOD FRIDAY
the item you held last {phone doesn't count} just disappeared, just poof stopped existing are you mad about it?
yes
no
happy actually?
NOOOOOOOOO
neutral
results
Tomatos🍅 ...practice arts! ^o^
Be honest do you think that actually learning things in high school is important
yeah dude or else youre gonna be that coworker people post about
this is by far the most insane example
every time i see someone call kirk and spock the oldest ship, i'm filled with the urge to go "hmm actually the holmes and watson girlies have been here for a hundred years now", and i refrain because i know the natural conclusion of this game is gilgamesh and enkidu
Hhhate it when people on my side of an argument are making bad points. You’re literally right why are you being stupid about it
I feel like a pizza chef and a glass blower would have fantastic cultural exchanges.