I have done my rewatch of these episodes with the sibling fight fairly recently while working on the later in life timeline for my Kya fic. And it cemented the take I'm running with for Kya and Aang specifically but also how Aang is with his children as a whole.
The closest we get to anything 'bad' being said about Aang is Kya being angry with Tenzin, and likening him to their father, for putting his responsibilities to Republic City and the legacy of their father/the Air Nomads first. Over his own family as well as, in that moment and I'm sure many many times prior, over his siblings' feelings and the reality of their upbringing.
Kya and Bumi are frustrated with Tenzin specifically for disregarding and outright denying their experiences. They never seem to take direct issue with Aang and if anything they, and Kya especially, understand the unique dynamic and struggles of their family (and father in particular). Shown when Bumi is talking to the statue of Aang saying he wishes he could have been an airbender but he did his best to protect the world like his father did and hopes Aang would be proud of him. And Kya knows and reminds Bumi that of course their father was proud of him. As he most definitely was of all of them.
I know this has been discussed before but Bumi and Kya are nine and four years older than Tenzin. By the time he's in the height of his own airbending training and likely traveling the world with Aang, getting specific instruction and training that the only airbending child would get? Bumi and Kya have likely either left home to live their lives out in the world or have already shown they might not have much interest in fully dedicating their entire lives to Air Nomad philosophy and tenets. And Aang is a person who would absolutley respect that and want for them to be happy. He would want them to live their lives how they want and he would be proud of them.
That being said I think it's pretty safe to assume, especially given that Kya eventually cites the gurus specifically as something that used to bore her, that Aang did spend time teaching all of his children about their people. Regardless of whether they were all airbenders or not. Going off how Aang was in ATLA (I realize people change as they become adults/also have more responsibilities. Particularly someone like the Avatar in this world, I'd imagine), the man loves a field trip. By the time we get to the TLOK timeline where this issue came up and all the siblings are traveling the temples together as adults, all the temples have been restored and are occupied by Air Acolytes.
So between the comics and TLOK, Aang likely often frequented the temples to oversee restoration as well as help out and continue advising the acolytes. I think it's, again, safe to assume that he took his young children to the temples to teach them of their people whenever he could. Sure it might not have been often and maybe only even once. But no matter the specifics or frequency, Aang did spend time with all his children to teach them about the Air Nomads.
Throwing in another TLOK reference point, all of the Yakone stuff was clearly something that could be considered one of Aang's responsibilities to Republic City that likely took up a ton of his time. This is the only event/issue we know of specifically that could be one of the things Kya is referencing when speaking about Aang's duty to Republic City and how it took precedence over spending time with his children often (as she then goes on to get angry at Tenzin specifically for when denying this in regard to himself as well as their father).
The Yakone business happened in 128 AG. Bumi was 18 and potentially already in the United Forces, Kya was just 13, and Tenzin was 9. The age discrepancies alone are probably a huge factor as to why Bumi and Kya are so frustrated with Tenzin and his refusal and inability to see things how they actually were. It does not mean that they had a poor relationship with Aang overall or felt neglected by him. I'm sure there were issues they had with Aang (and Katara for that matter) as children that affected them and were worked through or maybe not. But no family is perfect and no parent is perfect. And overall, we have evidence that all three of Aang and Katara's children felt loved and happy within their family. Just because they also had things that they struggled with doesn't negate this fact. It's just a realistic portrayal of a complicated family dynamic in a complicated world.
For Bumi, he was a nonbender and the oldest. During the flashbacks of the Yakone trial, we see that the Air Nomad representative on Republic City's council is an Air Acolyte. Not Aang. It stands to reason that if Bumi had shown interest in dedicating his life to the Air Nomads in a similar way that the Air Acolytes do, despite not being airbenders either, then he would have been able to be more actively involved. And thus maybe would've naturally experienced the equivalent of the 'airbender time/attention' that Tenzin evidently received. However he clearly did not and instead dedicated his life to protecting the world just like his father also did as the Avatar.
For Kya, she is a waterbender and the middle child. Her experience is a bit more nuanced here. She's obviously going to have training/teaching specific to her being a waterbender. I would argue that Aang probably had a hand in some of her teaching as well. He is a waterbender too, after all. And Katara might not have always been able (she assumedly is busy and has stuff going on as well). But obviously primarily we can assume Katara is her waterbending master and it would likely be very important to her to pass on her knowledge/skills/culture to her waterbender daughter.
Katara and Kya, like Tenzin and Aang, would have a very innate and special bond. When you additionally factor in her observance of her older brother's experience with not being an airbender and how that might have informed his interaction with Air Nomad legacy/culture? As well as how Aang might have handled it and supported Bumi's decisions for himself and his life even if that took him away from dedicating himself to the Air Nomad way of life? Kya is already existing within a reality of their family and the world where there are still no airbenders besides Aang and no framework for what carrying on that legacy would be like for someone who isn't an airbender. Let alone someone who is half Air Nomad but also a waterbender.
The way she and her older brother interact with their culture isn't going to be the same as it would be if they were airbenders. It just isn't. But that doesn't mean they didn't learn about it, appreciate it, and that it isn't important to them. It also doesn't mean that it wasn't important to Aang that he teach them of their culture. Clearly it was. Because he canonically did teach them about it. All of them. Not just Tenzin.
However there is no getting around the obvious which is that Tenzin is an airbender and all Air Nomads were airbenders. The way he is going to interact with his culture is vastly different than for his siblings. The way Aang is going to approach his teaching/training is going to be vastly different. Particularly when you take into account that, again, his older children have shown primary interests elsewhere for themselves/their lives and are even potentially off traveling and working by the time Tenzin is hitting the bulk of his airbender training.
Now, that's not to say that Bumi and Kya wouldn't have naturally had feelings of resentment or inferiority when it came to the relationship Tenzin and Aang would inherently have and when it came to not being airbenders. I'm very positive this is something they would have had to contend with and examine and process at some point in their lives and maybe often in adulthood too. Particularly after their father died and they are directly dealing with the grief of that and the responsibility of upholding his legacy. But once again, it doesn't mean that they had a neglectful or poor relationship with their father. And they very clearly knew this and felt this. They both seem very aware and realistic when it comes to how their lives were growing up and how the dynamic of their family was. They seem to accept and know that being children of the Avatar was complicated and not always easy but they loved their father and knew he loved them. Their main frustration was Tenzin's denial of this reality and his over idealized view of their father and their childhood as a whole.
Additionally, so much always wants to be said here about Aang and the Air Nomads and his role as the Avatar when it comes to how Bumi, Kya, and Tenzin were raised. But he is only one of their parents. And they are only half Air Nomad. All of them, regardless of bending or not, are all half Water Tribe as well. I'm sure they were all also taught the culture of their tribe and spent much time with this aspect of themselves and their heritage too. They most likely took trips south. It was probably just as important to Katara, the last southern waterbender, that her children were taught the ways of her tribe and for Kya specifically, to be taught waterbending and healing.
In TLOK, all three of them are in the south for the Water Tribe tradition of the Glacier Spirits Festival. They probably spent a lot of their childhood in a similar fashion. When considering their perspective of their childhood and the relationship they had with their father? As well as the time they felt they spent connecting with him and their Air Nomad heritage? I think it's super important to consider that they also have an entire second parent and entire second culture that informs their family dynamic and sense of self as well.
Furthermore, all three of them were raised in Republic City. A place of all nations. Not fully traditionally Water Tribe or fully traditionally Air Nomad. This too is going to be a huge factor of how they interact with the cultures of their people and how their parents raise them in regard to them.
A lot goes into their family dynamic, their childhood, and how they experienced it and perceive it as adults. Way more than simply 'Aang was a bad and neglectful father' or not. It's a bit absurd to jump to this conclusion, and also continue to run with it for years and years at this point, when it was also never said or harped on by the characters that people cite as evidence to why this is the case?
Before the three of them go on this trip to the temples where they have this argument, Katara is very visibly troubled and upset when she notes the strained relationship between her children. The relationship the siblings have with one another, not their father. She suggests they all take the trip together to their father's home because she is clearly hoping and senses this might be helpful for them to sort through the issues they have with one another. As a lot of those issues, particularly in Tenzin's case, stem from the relationship they all had with their father and the responsibility of their shared legacy.
Tenzin is clearly on the outside of Bumi and Kya during this moment that Katara picks up on and is concerned by. And why might that be? Maybe because he has taken it onto himself (due to a lot of factors that have been discussed enough and often so I'm not gonna here) to uphold this legacy of the Air Nomads and his father to an unhealthy and unrealistic degree. Which has resulted in this alienation from his siblings. Something that has harmed the relationship on both sides.
Tenzin clearly is unhappy with it and feels alone and isolated. Bumi and Kya are unhappy with it and feel invalidated and left out of their own legacy. This is the entire crux of their argument in these episodes. Aang and their relationship with him is solely a factor in this core issue and used as a primary example when expressing how they are all feeling about one another. Their father as well as how they love him and how he loved them is never the point of contention or in question literally at all. Not one single time.
At the end of their episodes long argument arc, all three of them are looking at the picture of their family. They are smiling and reminiscing and Tenzin says that it's a photo of a happy family, that they were a happy family. Bumi and Kya smile and are in agreement. They don't argue this statement or become angry again or accuse Tenzin of doing more of the same, denying their experiences or the reality of the nuances of their childhood. Because he isn't doing that in this instance.
Just because the three of them did have a complicated and not always easy childhood does not mean they weren't loved and happy. Bumi and Kya, just the same as Tenzin when he expresses as much while looking at the photograph of the five of them, consider their family to have been a happy one. Because it was. They all know that. And were never unaligned on that fact.
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