I hope you don't mind that I'm asking this anonymously, but this is a really important question for me. Within the last couple months, I've started identifying as asexual. And I thought, well, I should tell my friends. Makes sense, right? But when I tell people, their response is often something like "but that doesn't make sense! All people experience sexual attraction!" So my question is- is that true? Is there something wrong with me because I don't feel sexually attracted to anyone?
It’s not true. Asexuality is a thing. It’s very difficult for people to imagine experiences outside of their own, and with sexual attraction having varying levels of intensity, for some people sexual attraction is so omnipresent that it’s really difficult to imagine living without it.
And, of course, there’s nothing wrong with you. You experience the world in the way you experience it. People are different from each other, society only works because of that diversity.
This post is better than cake!
I have always appreciated the vlogbrothers’ inclusiveness when they talk about relationships. There’s a great moment from one of John’s videos back in January 2013, “How to Be More Than Friends: Question Tuesday,” that I have always interpreted as a nod to people seeking/involved in asexual relationships, quoted below:
“Hey, how do I know when someone wants to be ‘just friends’ or ‘more than friends’? Yeah, you should use your words... But wait, what do you mean, ‘just friends' and 'more than friends'? Like, when did we hardwire into our language the idea that the step past friendship is mutual face-licking? Like, the Yeti and me are more than friends, not primarily because of the face-licking aspect of things, but because there are important things we share responsibility for, like a car, a mortgage, and a human child. Like, this is Shannon [shows picture], and we lived together for more than five years in our twenties, and I really take offense at the notion that we're 'just friends' simply because we never made-out. I mean, Shannon and I have been together for the worst and best days of each other's lives. We're not just friends, we're not just anything. So yeah, you shouldn't say, "Do you want to be more than friends?" you should say what you mean. You should say, "Do you want to be monogamous face-licking partners?" And yes, I realize not all romantic relationships involve making-out, but you should say what you mean.” -John Green
As happy as Hank’s response make me (and truly, his last paragraph is good advice for pretty much anyone, not just aces), I was equally happy (or perhaps happier) to see just how many reblogs/reposts it’s gotten so far! Apparently I’ve been looking in the wrong places, trying to come across Ace Nerdfighters (AceFighters) on Aven; we’re all hanging out here on tumblr!
