Shingeki no Potato

Death is coming, pass me a hotdog

[tariqah]

Interspecies lesbianism

[onedeadkitty]

It’s cute guys

[mehsince1996]

Look at the tigress y‘all!

[youngstero]

I’m at a wealthy middle-aged christmas party with my best friend a woman came up to me and said “you have to try the gouda” and I said “is it firm?” and she said “yes I wouldn’t have anything less” and we both threw our heads back and laughed and I’m still not sure why

[rosalui]

wheres that pic from parks and rec. you all know the one

[meso-mijali]

[rosalui]

yES

[whitmanic]

My mom kept all our baby teeth but she didn’t separate them so there’s just a box she had with like. Three sets of random teeth mixed around

[whitmanic]

Okay I’m so sorry this isn’t actually funny but it’s like. Really funny. I’m so sorry

[bigasspants]

wtf dogs lose their teeth. also who the fuck keeps baby teeth that’s horrific

[pottamux]

My mom kept my baby teeth. And then my second set fell out so I kept those in a little bag and now we both have a set of my baby teeth.

[chambylin]

wait what. how many teeth do you have im so confused.

[pottamux]

I had 3 sets of teeth. So did my older brother. It was weird cause I’d had them for a few years and then they all started coming out all at once. Had a full new set in like 2 weeks. My dentist said it was fine since nothing grew out of place so idk.

[whitmanic]

I’m sorry what you grew teeth like a shark? What?

[shadovvlurking]

When i was younger I watched my babysitter take a plastic bag containing all her baby teeth and crushed them all into powder under the leg of a chair bc she was bored

[whitmanic]

Excuse me?

[hotboyproblems]

i want a restraining order on everyone who doesn’t wear deodorant 

[has-claws]

Deodorant is nasty. What do y'all think people smelled like up until 70 years ago??

[yung-starbucks-deactivated20210]

[sneakyfeets]

my wife’s so cute because we both love animals so much but her way is very pure and genuine whereas my family is:

me, holding up my cat: stinky

wife: no!! don’t be mean!!!

me, swaying him back and forth in the air: stinky bastard man

wife: No!!!!!!!!

my mother, not looking up from chopping veggies: naughty boy. brat cat

wife, distraught: NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[sneakyfeets]

In case anyone doubted the validity of my claims: 

[beatlesweatles]

The wife:

The mom:

[captainlordauditor]

some iconic dialogue that sounds like its from the great canon of literature but are actually from memes

I will face God and walk backwards into Hell

“I’ll do whatever you want” “then perish”

I have been through hell and come out singing

feel free to add more!

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

There are no gods here

Do I look like the kind of man who dies

God’s dead and soon we will be too

I thought there were no heroes left in this world 

[helloitstrash]

• you kneel before my throne unaware that it was built on lies

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

Impudent of you to assume I will meet a mortal end

This is hell’s territory and I am beholden to no gods

Bury me shallow, I’ll be back

[hubriscomplex]

- take this gift, for the gods surely won’t

[unheavenlycreatures]

God wishes he were me

One day, you will be face to face with whatever saw fit to let you exist in the universe, and you will have to justify the space you’ve filled

[tyrannosaurus-rex]

Violence for Violence is the Rule of Beasts

[sexynakedblackguy]

People: “So tell me about yourself”

My introvert ass thinking about who I am:

[ewfadsasddsdasd-deactivated2018]

[memecage]

[staff]

[despazito]

banished for poop related crimes

[funnelcloudd]

Would you like to file a report

[despazito]

who are you

[pr1nceshawn]

What A Great Idea!

This billboard is made of 2,000 cheeseburgers that anyone can take for free.

This bag of chips has two perforations so you can open it more the further down you eat.

This pill bottle lid tells you when you last opened it.

This is a phone charging station where you can pedal to get power.

Trash bins in Copenhagen are angled so cyclists can toss their trash while biking.

This dressing room has labeled hooks to help you separate your clothes.

Choose a cup and let everyone know about your current status.

Doghouses near a supermarket in Copenhagen.

There’s a special place for your pet in this supermarket cart.

A cafe in Poland provides its guests with water for their pets. 

 These bananas are sorted by how ripe they are at the moment.

This pharmacy has a magnifying glass so people can read medicine labels more easily.

This pizza place has a display with all their pizza sizes and how large they are compared to each other.

[cooltoy101-deactivated20210309]

Big Dave

[birdrhetorics]

reblog to have Big Dave bless your dash with user centered design

[jawbone-the-tenth]

Hey, if we’re mutuals don’t forget that:

You can ask for my Skype

You can ask for my Steam

You can ask for my Discord

[buippy-deactivated20210405]

 You can kill me in one hit

[route80s-deactivated20191222]

[meme-theft]

[sangombra-2]

HOLY SHIT 

[the-memedaddy]

me irl

[eangelic]

documenting trisha paytas’ meltdown of 2016. in the span of four days lol