Sorry but it's not complete without...
Noah Kahan
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Misplaced Lens Cap
Sweet Seals For You, Always
EXPECTATIONS
we're not kids anymore.

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RMH
Peter Solarz
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Show & Tell
Cosmic Funnies
todays bird
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

Origami Around
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year

Discoholic 🪩
Mike Driver

izzy's playlists!

Kiana Khansmith

seen from Hungary

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seen from United States

seen from Israel
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seen from United States
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seen from Malaysia
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@shit-just-got-serious
Sorry but it's not complete without...
she is a princess and you are a dragon. she will be married tonight. do not keep standing outside of her room like that, go inside. go get her. that is what proper dragons do.
not that you have ever been a good or proper dragon. when you hatched out of your egg, your eggtooth was too smooth. the other dragons were rough with you, put little holes in your wings.
you were not bold. you were odd. you liked rippling water and the shine of chitin when bugs scuttle and of course the movement of the stars. those were all acceptable interests albeit maybe not traditional. perhaps you had inherited these through some great-great-uncle or something. certainly a dragon may be wise, or clever, if they are not bold.
yes, you have been a great deal of a puzzle to the other dragons. your body is smaller and rather more soft than it ought to be. so speed should have been yours, perhaps - your mother said it would be like fighting a shadow. if a dragon is not aggressive, it may instead be cruel, sly; a backstab. but alas your scales - so iridescent that they almost shine like the moon at night, a glow from within - you are not a shadow, you are a beacon like the flash of a knight's blade. your father has said at least you would make a fine egglayer, a nice mate to a good male. a dragon like you may still be a good mother perhaps; and that is a fine thing to be; although of course it would have been better if you'd been a trove-hoarder instead.
what a dragon must not be is kind.
you have watched her now for six moons. what a good and proper dragon would do is to go inside and to snatch her. a very proper dragon would have kidnapped her many times over, but you will be the delight of your brood to princess-snatch even at all. when you catch her in your jaws and bring her home, they will love you, then. they don't think you're capable of it, but you are, because you're a proper dragon. you can show them that. if you go in, now, right now.
you are rather too glossy to hide in the shadows, so instead you have learned how to appear flat and round, a puddle of light. (how your siblings would mock you! a dragon should be matte, to blend with the night). you dapple your flank with mud. you perch in odd angles atop of trees, scuttle like the bugs you love - hither, tither, frantic.
what you must not do is fly with your wings full-out. alight, you will be limned by the moon's corona. you will be a beacon. you must remember this when (not if) you snatch her.
____
you found her because of the lake. this lake in particular was your favorite - nestled deep in the woods, between two mountains. it is very quiet; there is nothing to horde there so no other dragon bothers you. a gentle waterfall spills over into a deep cove, and there are many mossy caves you've spent your afternoons napping in. while it is not proper for a dragon to prefer such things, you like to lay in rolling tenure just under the water. you have become excellent at holding your breath, can do it for hours. it is the easiest way to appear as a patch of sunlight.
she was not sunlight. she was the night's joy. the dark press of water. her face at first concealed by many diaphanous layers. her breathing quick and quiet.
she had pulled them back to drink from her water flask. and there she had been: a princess. your first very-real princess. right there, only the reach of a single talon from you. if you had simply lunged then, you would have been able to take her easily, in one single movement.
but you did not take her.
Disregard everything I said earlier about Eridians making Grace some Earth plants so he doesn't get sad - new idea!
One of his students finds out about the "human no see plant get sad" phenomenon and gets the class together to make him lil plants for his bubble so he doesn't become sad.
They're children, so the plants are not even vaguely plant shaped. They're mostly just rocks that have been painted with something they're are pretty sure is "green."
Anyway he loves them so much he starts leaking everywhere and puts them in special places all over his bubble. He's incredibly protective of his lil "plants" and is completely devastated when they get confiscated for being accidentally suuuuuper poisonous to humans. So the Eridian scientists make green paint that won't accidentally kill him and his students redo them.
And once it ends up in the news, he starts getting "plants" from kids all over the world. He's like Santa receiving letters if those letters were all incredibly heavy attempts at alien plantlife by blind children. He couldn't be happier.
I saw this on reddit and tracked down the source (Dinara Fakhritdinova, _climbinggirl_ on instagram), because I know there's a lot of girls here on tumblr who need to see her back muscles
If you want to see the best in their field, Google "top women pegging"
Lawyer: How would you like to handle the custody agreement?
Parent: I want my wife to take one of my infant daughters to the UK and I’ll take the other one and we will never see each other again.
Lawyer: You want to fucking what?
my apparently very exclusive breaking bad fan theory
Another one for "objectively funny crimes should not be punished"
I cannot describe how much I laughed at this.
Sound is VERY important.
On this weekly episode of 3 idiots in a tin can-
Simon bachelor specialization is trying to stay alive. The Graces make first contact, again, and Simon has regular panic and then gay panic (PREV - Next)
Yeah
I tried my hand at one of those two-column (contrapuntal) poems! I have a new level of respect for anyone who writes these lol
You can also read it on ao3 where I learned how to code an HTML table for this.
oh man the painting on this drawing is insa- fuck do you mean #minecraft build
the specific build in question btw
I looked up some of the artist's other builds and they're all just absolutely incredible
This sketch is incredible. Perfect moment to capture. 10/10 for the artist.
Link to post
A hearing in Luigi Mangione’s state murder case in the killing of UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson was postponed until Wednesday after pr
Dude, your glasses
i like when mary and armando act silly too
and out of the darkness - you you you you you