ask not for whom the baja blasts

PESTICIDES DNI MY SKIN IS HIGHLY PERMEABLE

[depsidase]

[spaceshipsandpurpledrank]

[t00thpasteface]

me before i get my paycheck: i'm so excited to spend this on essentials and save the rest wisely

me as soon as that direct deposit hits: you know i've always wanted to learn the theremin

[achesspiece]

the real moral lesson in chess is that you can only move forwards 5-6 times in your life before you're turned into a beautiful queen but also rarely you might be turned into a horse

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

the meaning of life? is to make your bedroom as comfy as possible. that's it that's the purpose

[argumate]

“my bonnie lies over the ocean, my bonnie lies over the sea,”

are we talking about the same body of water here, which is weird, or different bodies of water, which is even weirder

[theinflammablemammal]

this makes more sense if you assume both are the same body of water but the time between the statements is about 50 million years

[argumate]

you’re right, that’s significantly less weird

[argumate]

toasthaste said: maybe there’s more than one bonnie

blocked

[lalaithion]

A hypothesized geography.

[truth-shitposting]

i bless the bonnie over africa

[dark-magician-girl-meets-world]

The bonnie is in geosychronous orbit, thus over all the Earth’s bodies of water

[special-lucky-chosen-one]

the bonnie is merely moving very fast, perhaps at hypersonic velocity, relative to the singer

[special-lucky-chosen-one]

my bonnie lies over the ocean

my bonnie’s exceeding mach 3

[ruffboi-mags]

So apparently, over the summer, Quibi (the shortest-lasting streaming service ever lmao) did a quarantine project called “Home Movie: The Princess Bride” where a bunch of celebrities recreated The Princess Bride in tiny chunks at home.

And like there was no permanent cast, all these celebrities seem to have gotten a scene or part of a scene to do (i’m not sure exactly, I did not ever watch Quibi and thus haven’t seen this yet), and then they just… recreated it as best they could. At home. Under quarantine.

So like, you had Jennifer Garner in a blanket cape playing Princess Buttercup AND the Booing Old Woman with a crowd comprised entirely of stuffed animals:

Or Taika Waititi paying Westley off a badly-drawn Inigo on a piece of cardboard held in front of someone’s face:

And it’s all just delightful.

But my absolute favorite part of this thing that I’ve sadly never seen but assume is probably absolutely hilarious and a treasure and I want to find it some day and watch the whole thing… is that Carey Elwes is in it.

As Prince Fucking Humperdink.

[movebackintime]

https://youtu.be/lR8pA_WV9QI

Here ya go

[laziestgirlintown]

In case you need a comfort watch and because Youtube search nowadays sucks rancid putrescence, I remind you of the Princess Bride Home Movie from the lockdown, starring everybody

[triceratops-skeleton]

Adam Sandler Grandpa I’m dying

[catilinas]

tidying my desk and found what was one of my favourite visual gags from when i was like 17

it’s my heartfelt apology :/

[importantpics]

[narcissa-black-supermacy]

i thought the “this is the face that launched a thousand ships, although now it would maybe be five-hundred.” line was just an internet joke but apparently that's a line Menelaus actually says in Nolan's Odyssey??

Not only that the language itself sounds straight out of a marvel forcibly funny haha moment, but Menelaus? The Menelaus who all thoughout human history, from Homer, to Sappho, to Euripides, to Virgil, to Shakespeare, to Brooke, to Barth; from Classical vases to Medieval poetry to Reinessance art, has been known as the man whose sword fell from his hands at the sight of his wife after 10 years apart?

"What joy for me to hold my wife" Menelaus?

"He flung the sword away, and kissed her feet" Menelaus?

"I believe all. I understand nothing. I love you" Menelaus?

"I have no fault to find; my wife, he daughter of Zeus and Leda, is mine again, she whom her brothers on their snow-white steeds, whilst torches blazed, made my happy bride, but gods removed her from my home." Menelaus?

The Menelaus who was picked out of the suitors by Helen herself? The Menelaus who couldn't kill a begging Trojan so his brother had to do it for him? The Menelaus who rescued Odysseus and got out Patroclus' body? The Menelaus who volounteered to fight Paris one on one so everybody could go home? Who kept expressing his guilt about himself being the cause of war through every assembly he spoke at in the Iliad? Who after 10 years away at Troy, took his wife through a 7-year long journey at sea back home, where he reinstated her as the queen of Sparta? Who wept like a child in front of Telemachus recalling the war and his brother and all the friends he lost and the only consolation being his wife' gentle hand on his?

You want me to believe that man scarred Helen's face and called her only worth half the ships because of it?

I'm actually physically sick just thinking about it.

[targetedknowledge]

[frankiesbullshit]

someone tell OP i did it, i spent about 3 hours on it

[calidotgov-deactivated20240108]

congratulations piracy

[livefromtheloam]

Ad agency: Please don't steal the King's potatoes, no matter how easy it is.

Regular people: Wait, the King has easily stolen potatoes? How do I get in on this?

Internet users who have been stealing potatoes for years: We made a machine that picks so many potatoes and also that machine is free. Enjoy!

[commandtower-solring-go]

Ad agency: you wouldn't steal a movie?

10 year old me with 0 income and no movie: YOU CAN STEAL MOVIES????

[can-i-make-image-descriptions]

[Image ID: Headline from IFLScience reading: "You Wouldn't Steal a Movie" Advert May Have Led To More People Stealing Movies /End ID]

[geekysteven]

[teaboot]

Fun fact! Both the music and the font in that ad were incorrectly sourced and did not provide compensation to the creators

[6qubed]

less fun fact: the temptation to perform the forbidden action is the sole reason that tobacco companies fund anti-smoking/vaping PSAs

[shocotate]

I broke a ramune bottle to get the marble out for my dragon.

[wickedwonderlandd]

The dragons face never changes, but I still feel like he looks happier in the 2nd pic 🥺

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

The orb delights him

[aromanticduck]

Free service with ads: Well, if I'm not paying for it they have to foot the bill somehow.

Paid service with no ads: Well, if they're not funding it with ad revenue, they need to charge us something.

Paid service with ads: Well that's bullshit.

"We used to be a paid service without ads, but now we're putting ads in it! If you want the ad-free version you have to pay more for preeeeemium": Fuck you fuck you fuck you

[juststarsandthemoon]

Free service with no ads: Okay so these guys are stealing my data

[saltwaterandstars]

For my birthday my best friend got me a set of glasses that, when you stack them, look like a fish! Genius!

[valhelos]

[sqrt-73]

screw ray bradburys 6 word poem. here’s my 2 word one:

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