Shit Professors Say

Occasional language, constant humor.

[shitprofessorssay]

It's imaginary, but it's still there.

-Power Electronics Prof, explaining reactive power.

[shitprofessorssay]

"All right, what's the product here? It was in the homework, guys! ...Guys, come on. Don't make me work this out on the board, you know I'm bad at math."

- Electromagnetism Professor at University of Colorado.

[memeseverdie]

[shitprofessorssay]

professor: so why do we think this first generation of college educated women mostly didn't marry?

me: they were lesbians

everyone: [laughter]

professor: no like stop laughing...that's the correct answer.

[kvotheunkvothe]

Did anyone leave two books up here? Uh, their titles are… Well, one’s the Holy Bible… and the other one’s The Erotic Word?!

my Judgment and Decision-making professor on this day 7 years ago (thanks for reminding me of this, FB)

[shitprofessorssay]

"My water bill is usually about $400. I have three teenage boys, and they take long showers -- I don't ask"

[gallusrostromegalus]

No , Dadaism isn’t daddy kink, you ANIMALS.

Things my art history prof has had to clear up. (via gallusrostromegalus)

[shitprofessorssay]

"Henry was a massive cunt."

-History lecturer, Oxford. Talking about King Henry VIII

[shitprofessorssay]

Why would they give you him as an advisor? I'm better. Just come to me and I'll pretend like I'm your advisor.

Calc professor during office hours

[shitprofessorssay]

No no, if you do that you'll stop being a person. If you do this instead, you'll want to kill yourself less.

Calc professor seeing my plan to graduate early

[marisatomay]

ive never seen a grown adult blush and stutter as much as my history professor just did when i asked him if his green and grey scarf was a slytherin scarf

[hashtagloveloses]

BUT WAS IT

[marisatomay]

“I thought it was innocuous and generic enough that no one would recognize it” -a direct quote from my professor

[mathprofessorquotes]

“I know at least 3 of you in this room want to punch me right now. I don’t know who, but I can feel it.”

Multivariable calculus professor when introducing triple integrals in spherical coordinates for the first time (via mathprofessorquotes)

[shitprofessorssay]

"As a historian I must tell you that Andrew Jackson, if you do not know, was an asshole."

-History Professor in museums course. UWEC

[shitprofessorssay]

Same Prof, same

Professor: "Have a good weekend everyone!" Student: "It's Wednesday." Professor: "Shit."

-Professor at UWEC

[shitprofessorssay]

"Good morning penis... let me try that again. Good morning pianists!"

-Music Professor at UWEC

[shitprofessorssay]

"Google Earth is the geographer's crack cocaine."

-Geography Prof at UWEC

[shitprofessorssay]

"And if any of you have any questions for me, you can find me at the Joynt."

-UWEC Professor

(The Joynt is a hipster bar on Water Street, which is the street in our with all of the bars on them)