[lavenderprose]

To be clear. Shane's whole thing about Ilya being a Sex God is because of the limerence. Ilya is nineteen and he can get a rhythm going and that's about it. He was throwing shit at the wall when he hit that 'Get on your knees' in Nashville but only he knows that because Shane's brain turned OFF. Ilya said "Let's do a little experiment here" and the results were "Oh my god oh my god oh my god." Shane came hands free because he was that obsessed with the idea of Ilya Rozanov being inside him. Ilya said "Do you like that do you like that" because he's nineteen and he needs the validation and Shane was like "YES YES YES I LIKE IT OH MY GOD YOU'RE SO DEEP YOU'RE SO GOOD" and objectively. It was okay. Ilya fully did not know where to put his hands a couple of times. He forgot about Shane's dick. Luckily, Shane is God's special angel who can come from the idea of Ilya's cockhead being in proximity to his prostate a few times. Mind over matter, says Shane Hollander's dick. And then Ilya said "Oh God Hollander" because it was also, objectively, one of the hottest things that had ever happened to HIM, Ilya Rozanov. Shane sits on that step afterwards plotting about how he's gonna get this over and over and over again for the rest of his life and he has no idea that there are women in Boston who have Ilya listed in their contacts as "Hockey Guy 6/10". Shane Hollander cannot fathom a world in which Ilya Rozanov doesn't lay the maddest pipe this side of Lake Michigan. "Ilya Rozanov is a some kind of nineteen year old sex God" No Shane honey he was just designed in a lab to score goals and make you cum and he's done scoring goals for the night.

[lucylehane]

Jacob with some spot-on Ilya character analysis (and general thoughts on sex-as-self)

It's Open With Ilana Glazer

[hrgifs]

hudson & connor at the meta gala [via alexa chung, sinna nasseri]

[handsywoman]

conbush is back nature is healing

[moonlightsonatah]

hang it in the louvre

pt 35/?

[imsodishy]

One thing about the Hollander men; if you hit them with a social situation they don't know how to react to, they will straight up leave ✌️

call that the Hollander Goodbye

[penandinkprincess]

thoughts and prayers to ilya, who is marrying into a family of flight risks 🙏

[hrgifs]

they were really just doing any ol' shit in that pool huh

[sobadbad]

[rozy-babey81]

It's killing me that Ilya Rozanov is Mr. I'm gonna kiss your inner thigh after I suck you off, Mr. I'm going to look deep into your eyes while I take your vcard and make absolutely sure that it feels good for you, Mr. I'm going to plant kisses up your spine after I cum inside, Mr. I'm going to caress your ass and hold you against me and kiss any part of you that I can reach before I pull out.

But one Shane Hollander forehead kiss had him spiraling like a cyclone. Like bruh. You were already a goner. You've BEEN a goner, Mr. They told me nothing, was my idea. Girl bye 🙄🤚

[femdreamland]

Ilya Rosanov planning that joint photoshoot is Dan Howell posting about Muse coded

[iknowhowthestafflikestobetreated]

you still want?

1×02

[totearup]

I have a headcanon that for a birthday or a Christmas or something Shane gives Ilya the title to the cottage which is now in both of their names so that it's officially THEIR cottage and THEIR special place and obviously they both have thought about it like that since their marriage (or before) but this is official documentation and Ilya tries very hard not to cry while also saying something like, "of course you give me boring real estate paperwork as a gift Hollander"

[parttimehuman]

Forever thinking about how this was their first kiss after watching Scott Hunter kissing his boyfriend on the ice in front of the world. About how they are in broad daylight. About them being at the cottage together after Ilya told Shane that "you know we can't do that, Hollander" - but they can. This is how they kiss after everything that happened in Tampa Bay and at the hospital. This is how they kiss knowing there is no going back to pretending they're just fuckbuddies. This is how they kiss knowing they have two weeks alone together and they get to relax and talk and be silly and sleep next to each other and cuddle after sex and finally, finally, it's not just a few hours in between games and events and flights.

[merrinish]

[assignedilyaoftheday]

your assigned ilya of the day is fighting for his life in that bathroom, trying not to kiss those freckles

[hrgifs]

Good luck tonight.

[endlessly-ranting-antheia]

My favorite part of Shane’s Ottawa plan is when he says “then when people see us out together it won’t be so crazy.” That means dates! Shane wants to take his man out on real dates! He has going on dates with Ilya on his mind and he’s making plans and moves to make that happen for them!!!