Audio Dramatic

i hate ~professional phonecalls in full generality but like, listen. i understand being on hold for a zillion years. i know places are shortstaffed. i get it. however i think i should not have to navigate more than 1 phone tree submenu in order to get to the point of being on hold. i was going to compare this to a labyrinth but i think that would be more fun and less stressful honestly. yes even with a minotaur

the hold music just got real distorted for a sec right after i posted this and i was like oh fuck. the minotaur

#everyone pause im trying to conceive of an audio labyrinth (via @theunfairfolk )

sorry are you telling us we have to hold

cipheramnesia

Yes, however the post is very important to us and we'll respond to this post in the order it was received. Unfortunately we have a very high post volume right now. You can also ignore the post and we'll @ back as soon as possible. Thank you again for waiting. This post is very important to us, and we also offer the option of posting by phone. Did you know the Tumblr landlines offer great new ways to pay? To save time, you may step back from the website and use our new customer service phone line to submit your payments, buy new services, make payments, pay for additional services, or simply make a payment. Your post is very important.

[near tears] please i just want to see the sun again

cipheramnesia

all of our operators... are busy :-(

#gigglefit

imperfect-cherry-blossom

lightblueminecraftorchid

[Image ID: A greentext post from an anonymous user with a wizard Pepe icon. The post says:

Be me, sleep deprived DM, half an hour ago.

Get startled by my phone ringing.

It’s one of my players.

Me: “Dude it’s midnight you good?”

Friend: “Yeah yeah, sorry if I woke you. Can I ask you for a favor?”

Oh God he killed someone .gif.

Me: “Uh, sure? Shoot.”

Friend: “My daughter can’t sleep, could you tell a quick story over speakerphone? She loves listening to the recordings of our sessions before bed, but I left my laptop at the office so I can’t play them.”

Nani the fuck .mp3

Me: “She listens to us to fall asleep?”

Friend: “Yeah, but she really likes your plot and NPC acting bits. She calls you ‘dumb dumb mister’! Guess dungeon master is a bit hard for a preschooler.”

Me: “Wow… well, if it will help her sleep, then sure.”

Friend: “Thank you! Okay, give me a sec to head back to her room.” (Pause) “Okay, you’re on speaker.”

Me: “Hey, [daughter’s name], it’s Uncle Anon.”

Daughter: (happy gasp) “Dumb dumb mister!”

I’ve never been happier to be called a dumb dumb .jpg

Me: “You ready for a story about… (DM improv skills engage) …the time your daddy and his friends went deep into a cursed temple to save a frost dragon egg?”

Daughter: (incomprehensible happy squealing noises)

I then proceed to spend nearly 20 min spitballing a story over the phone for the most fascinated little girl until she eventually fell asleep. Friend thanks me for my help and says he’ll see me on game night.

Lay down in bed, actually feel content and comfortable for once. I should have thanked him.

I am the Dumb Dumb Mister.

End ID.]

bigandlong

If you see this on your dashboard, reblog this, NO MATTER WHAT and all your dreams and wishes will come true.

jae-felidae

Oh hey! Haven’t seen this in forever! Didn’t reblog it when it came across me before, not gonna skip it this time, I need some good vibes.

iced-coffee-chronicles

openin’ the door to the microwave one second early because you don’t need all the hootin’ and hollerin’

delta-orionis

I'D LOVE TO ELABORATE because this is one of my favorite astronomy stories.

Okay. So in the field of Radio Astronomy, there's this phenomenon called a "fast radio burst", a very short, strong radio pulse picked up by a radio telescope. They're still poorly understood, and are considered very exciting to radio astronomers because of how rare they are.

In the 2010's, astronomers working at Australia's Parkes Radio Observatory identified a number of radio signals picked up by the telescope that appeared to resemble fast radio bursts, which they called Perytons.

However, they quickly realized that the signals had to be terrestrial in origin due to the strength of the signal.... as well as the fact that they always occurred during weekdays, around the same time.

The signals tended to be clustered around midday... hmm...

Further evidence that the signals were man-made... this trend also followed daylight savings!!!

(Unless aliens also follow Australian daylight savings conventions, which is highly unlikely...)

It took the astronomers several years, but they eventually tracked down the source to a microwave oven in the facility's break room.

They were unable to recreate the signal, until they tried opening the microwave door before it beeped. Turns out the microwave was letting out a tiny amount of radio emissions when the door opened, which the nearby telescope was sensitive enough to detect.

The Peryton signals had been popping up in the data for over a decade, presumably because astronomers taking their lunch breaks had been opening the break room microwave prematurely for the same reason cited by OP.

I imagine they must have a big sign reading "LET THE MICROWAVE FINISH BEFORE OPENING" hanging in the break room now.

TLDR: If you work in radio astronomy, let the microwave beep before opening it and removing your lunch.

(PS: I highly recommend reading the paper explaining the origin of Perytons, it's short and also pretty entertaining.)

#fascinating history

boobookittenartblog

Pretty Bad Co.

this website’s easy watch. *dangles a bunch of greek gods like keys*

i know what i’m doing dw

Keep in mind I only know like. Two Greek gods by name. Homer is one of them, and he was good friends with Odysseus I think?

Wait fuck Homer isn’t a god he wrote the fucking thing. Fuck

POST CANCELLED NO ONE LOOK

desperately google searching for “greek gods to pray to when people notice your online idiocy”

pluto-officially

You're failing.

You don’t think I know that, God of Death? Can I pray to you so I can DIE ALREADY

communist-mannyfesto

Pluto is Roman, not Greek

?????

enigma-system03

Short version is that Pluto is a later name for the god of death, which is often associated with the Roman era/Roman mythology. Hades is the earlier name.

I set up my own house made of sticks and it has promptly fallen on me

HE’S NOT EVEN REAL?????*

I made this post thinking I knew what kind of fire I was playing with. Hephaestus, God of Fire, looking upon me from his fuck off tower or whatever said “Oh you think you know? Check this shit” and promptly set my post ablaze for everyone to observe

legionoftuna

Hephaestus doesn't have a tower, he lived in a volcano

FINE THEN. BIG FUCK OFF VOLCANO. WHATEVER

wrong.

pointless-achievements

Achievement Unlocked:

Lightning Bait

You're basically doing the post equivalent of standing out in a field during a storm with a ten-foot copper pole, you better hope Zeus is busy hiding from Hera.

FUCK'S SAKE NOT AGAIN

taco-bee

I need you to name every greek God you know and what they are for plz

For science

OKAY FINE HERE'S WHAT I'VE FOUND

HERMES: DA FUNNY ONE

ZEUS: DA LIGHTNING (NOTE: THOUGHT HE WAS NORDIC, FATHER OF THOR)

POSEIDON: DA SEA ONE

HEPHAESTUS: DA FIRE/FORGING/STEEL ONE

APHRODITE: DA HOT ONE

KRATOS: GOD OF WAR

HADES: DA HELL ONE. ROGUE LIKE

APOLLO: DA DODGEBALL/PROPHECY ONE

boxxed-juice

ares is the god of war, not kratos

WHY THE FUCK DOES THE GAME CALL HIM GOD OF WAR THEN

ironwoman359

I can't believe this post is less than 24 hours old, it feels like something out of classic tumblr lore

mysticalblue09

It just keeps going. Hey op, would like a shovel to dig that grave a little bit faster?

*yelling out from 12 foot hole* NO THANK YOU

6qubed

I'm personally offended that you didn't mention Hestia, given how many times I've mentioned her on this post alone, as well as the obvious fact that Hestia is Bestia™

imsopopfly

I’m absolutely DYING at the mix up between Zeus and Odin. Can you imagine those two switching places?

racist-sundown-site-deactivated

MAN FUCJING WHATEVER. LIGHTNING BOYS

plantyhamchuk

The tribe has been trying for decades to reclaim the land.

"The Winnebago Tribe of Nebraska will soon get back about 1,600 acres (647 hectares) of land the federal government took more than 50 years ago and never developed.

A new law will require the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers to return the roughly 2.5-square-mile (6.5-square-kilometer) tract of land along the Missouri River in Iowa it took in 1970 through eminent domain for a recreation project that was never built.

The tribe has been trying for decades to reclaim the land.

“This is a truly historic moment for the Winnebago Tribe as lands that were taken from us over 50 years ago will soon be restored to our tribe,” said Winnebago Tribal Chairwoman Victoria Kitcheyan."

#landback

Fundraiser Flash Week 10!

We're getting ever closer to helping @siraj2024 meet his goal! If you haven't checked out his page yet, I highly encourage it. Siraj is a dedicated journalist and updates frequently. #219 on the spreadsheet here, thank you to el-shab-hussein and nabulsi

His ultimate goal is to rebuild his house. He is determined to have a proper home for his family, who are currently living in a tent. Or, rather, two tents. Siraj is currently hosting quite a few extended family members, and he is trying to provide for all of them. Over twenty people are currently relying on this campaign in order to buy food, water, medicine, soap, all the basic necessities to survive.

The rules are the same as always, let's keep this rolling! I'm hoping for a stronger showing this week!

- My default contribution will be $10

- If you are able to donate, send me the screenshot and I will add $5 to my contribution

- If you can't donate, and are in the US, I will do so on your behalf! Send emails to your congressmen (both senators and your representative), and send me the "Thank you for contacting my office" screenshots. For all 3, I will add $5 to my contribution. If you're only able to do one or two, send those screenshots and I will add $1 or $2 respectively

- If you're able to both donate and send some emails, go for it! Send me all those screenshots and I will add $10 to my contribution

- Reblogging is encouraged!

[Donate Here]

If I am unable to continue adding onto my final contribution, I will update below. Let's get this family fed!

[ X ] Keep it Coming!

[ ] Can't Keep Up, Good Work!

#palestine #free palestine

Lol it’s all ‘we should center the voices of the victims of Imperial core’ till people here realize that this has to be a sustained effort that would need the same energy from beginning to end, no matter how many days, months or years go by. Really crazy that just when so many Gazans are on the site trying to reach out to us, Palestine seems to be falling out of relevance because the coverage of protests in the imperial core has begun to die down

I laugh but it is terrifying how American hegemony works that we can track it in real time through the dwindling of donations to gfms across the platform. Gazan families want to talk to us about all that they have lost, at great costs to themselves so that they can get some much needed help, and what they find instead, is an allyship that is easily influenced by a hegemony where western voices speaking up about any of this matter the most, and when that dies down, they struggle to find a sympathetic ear, resulting in the support being whittled away to almost nothing right in front of their eyes.

You are really only proving that zionists were right when they said that people would eventually forget and stop caring. It is going to be 11 months of GENOCIDE- how does it not galvanize us to speaking up MORE? I don't know how you all are not realizing that should a time come when we truly stop talking about Palestine, we would stand complicit in normalizing these crimes against humanity!

So please don't stop talking!! Don't let Palestine fall out of relevance, the second western media stops talking about it in the mainstream. And please, please boost and donate to the fundraisers.

My friend, Siraj ( @siraj2024 ) is struggling to get steady donations for the past 2 months. Recently with his extended family getting displaced due to the violence of the IOF, his fundraiser is now having to support FIVE FAMILIES belonging to his married siblings and parents instead of just the one. I cannot overstate how urgently he needs these funds right now.

He needs to get to 65k by Monday, but is currently only at $61,524 CAD

He managed to get only $248 CAD in 12 hours and this is terrifying to him!!

Please keep sharing and donating. Siraj and every other Gazan need your support now more than ever.

People who jump onto fundraising posts and go, "you have to pressure the government who have the power to change the situation instead" tell me that they haven't been paying attention. Palestinians are requesting you to boost and donate to the fundraisers so that their people, their families, their friends may have a chance at life. This post makes an observation about how attention has started to slip from fundraisers the moment news of Gaza have stopped making rounds in mainstream media. I am not going to sugarcoat that to coddle you...not when Siraj tells me how many risks he takes everyday to get to the internet point to campaign for his fundraiser. His family (both his own and extended) of TWENTY THREE members need food and basic amenities to try and survive since they are not evacuating. Please understand this before commenting. Anyway as I have always said donate if you can , and if you can't then boost and try to circulate the fundraiser amongst your friends and family. And since we are talking of pressuring government officials, check out @/ladycelebrianofimladris 's pinned post- in this way you can both help Siraj with donations and pressure your representative into enacting a change.

Currently at $63,273 CAD.

schoolhater

there is also a raffle that ends TODAY

he has only raised $57 CAD in the past two hours. that is unacceptable especially when there are so many people crating incentives to donate

#palestine #free palestine

$63,779 CAD has been raised till now.

This is a reminder that we have to reach 65k by tomorrow and we still have 1.2k left to go. Food prices have been skyrocketing for months and now with the suspension of UN food programs after the occupation's recent attacks on the workers, things will get much more difficult. So please donate and participate in the raffle while you still can. And if you can't, then boost and check out @ladycelebrianofimladris's pinned post.

dayvan

from 2014

closet-keys

“After every atrocity one can expect to hear the same predictable apologies: it never happened; the victim lies; the victim exaggerates; the victim brought it upon herself; and in any case it is time to forget the past and move on. The more powerful the perpetrator, the greater is his prerogative to name and define reality, and the more completely his arguments prevail.” -Judith Herman

#palestine #free palestine

kii-tty

bombplot-foiled-deactivated2025

i mean, ‘guilt trip’ posts aren’t necessarily infallible but ever since the student encampments ended there has been no national attention on palestine, protest turnout has halved, donation campaigns have been subjected to extreme harassment and liberals have made it clear they will be a danger to anyone who criticizes kamala harris. more than ever you need to stay attentive, you need to go to demonstrations, you need to keep up pressure on your representatives. palestine always cycles in and out of relevancy in mainstream western periphery but we can’t afford for that to be the case this time.

plaguedocboi

I think Ishmael Mobydick would really flip out if he learned how sperm whales sleep

plaguedocboi

#elaborate?

fuckblast

If Herman Melville knew this we'd have a whole chapter about the pillars of damnation

I like stories where a normal human child is being raised by a sinister supernatural being who is totally malevolent except when it comes to their kid. Those are so much better than the “kids are scary” changeling type horror movies.

Like a perfectly well-adjusted well-mannered friendly child that is like “This is my dad, Surazal. He comes out of the mirrors in dark rooms. He makes really good blood pudding but he’s bad at playing catch. Most people can’t see his corporal form but I can because he says I have special eyes.”

“Mom says that you can stay over but you have to promise not to leave my room between midnight and 1 am. You can play Mario Cart with me! But you have to knock on every closed door in the house before entering just because dad might be in there and if you look upon his visage without drinking the holy fruit juice, you might go crazy or something. Also dad is really excited I have a new friend and he’s going to to make hardtack and mystery stew for us! You’ll love it!”

In high school the kid gets a friend that is an amateur demonologist who initially befriends them in hopes of exorcizing their house but ends up becoming buddies with Surazal too because they crave parental affection.