hey, it's me

*The duality of man: yearning and the mortifying ordeal of being known* *June (they/them)* *Icon by @spicymochi*

[discodeerdiary]

The age of writing DUMP HIM in the women's restroom stall is out, the age of writing TRY TESTOSTERONE in the women's restroom stall is in

[balaclava-trismegistus]

Pasadena police "horseplay" accident

[gunsandfireandshit]

Rules of gun safety:

1. Have fun and be yourself

2. Pointing loaded guns at your friends is always funny

3. Trigger discipline is overrated

[changelingsrule]

Where I live, if a cop so much as removes a gun from their holster they are punished. Even if its necessary. The laws are made to reduce police brutality. Something like this is so stupid.

[balaclava-trismegistus]

Damn you should change your laws so it's easier for them to shoot each other

[the-quasar-hero]

We all got that one mutual that be going through the most treacherous situations a person could endure and then posting a few minutes later about why such and such should get fucked through a concrete wall.

[the-quasar-hero]

Mutual: my situationship partner just got caught in a tornado at a broken glass factory where they were cheating on me with my landlord who just increased my rent by 6000% and my pet marmot has a disease so rare they’re naming it after him and all my bones are becoming apricot jelly which I’m allergic to.

Same mutual 16 minutes later: Do you think Ronald McDonald and the Burger King ever explored each other’s bodies?

[cryptotheism]

Adam: Your older brother. Abel. He's dead.

Adams third child, Seth: What is that?

Adam: I don't know. This is new for me too.

[cryptotheism]

Eve: I think "dead" is what happens to dinnerbeasts.

Seth:

Eve: We might have to dinner him.

[yorgen-sh]

[winterweary]

This made me laugh out loud

[76ello]

Reblogging in honor of the first day of baseball season.

[ceruleanfuckup]

The pitcher that exploded the bird is a photographer now, this is his logo

[mortalityplays]

last week I was deep in the trenches ploughing through work and mid-afternoon realised I'd neglected to open the blinds and the room was a little dim, so I got up to do that and discovered that a car had flipped onto its roof directly outside my flat and the entire street was closed and flooded with emergency service while they dragged someone out of the vehicle and packed them into an ambulance. so now every time I open the blinds I'm a little like the dog with the ham sandwich bush. what the fuck could it be today.

[berlynn-wohl]

Me in 2006: I’m still bitter about that

Me in 2016: I’m still salty about that

Me in 2026, probably: I’m still umami about that

[allaark]

Well, are you?. We’re waiting.

[berlynn-wohl]

There’s a lot to be umami about these days.

[nongunktional]

i really hate the way the "boobs vs butt" thing got broken down into this implicit idea that butt is the nobler stance. it's really stupid. personally im a woman guy. [realizes how that sounds] [purses my lips in thought] [nods confidently] im a woman guy

[innerchildabortionclinic]

❔

[innerchildabortionclinic]

tornado spawn point

[lumsel]

Despite it all I can't hate solarpunk. It's caramel-apple sweet-simplistic, a desire for a greater world on one simple axis without grappling with any kind of political reality. You can chip at its ankles but unfortunately it will still be kind of awesome epicsauce at its heart. Sometimes you really do need to just cut past all the hard-nosed realism, get back to the kid looking up at you with those big blubbering eyes saying "what if everyone was nice to eachother?" That kid does not know an ant's arse about the real world or how it works, but they're still 1000 times more correct than all of us trying to explain why it can't be done. You can't lose sight of the stupid, hopeless dream. You can't lose sight of it. Otherwise you turn into a dickhead.

[amberautumnfaebrooke]

has anyone noticed recently that it's expensive

[sociallyawkwardrevolution]

times like these really make you appreciate pouring river water in your socks

[melynnwaters]

I just remembered I had a dream where there was a new chess piece that had really insane mechanics that included mechanics for being able to move up to 32 spaces (a regulation chessboard is 8x8 spaces.)

it was a bust of benjamin franklin's head that was allowed to move x number of spaces based on the types of pieces that were in the first 16 rows on front of it (a regulation chess board is 8x8 spaces.)

different pieces had different values when it came to calculating the score that decided how many spaces the piece could move, but it was widely agreed to be the most powerful piece due to not only it's wide range of movement, but also being able to clear out all trees on the board within its movement range (there are no trees on a regulation chess board.) and grant you resource tokens for each tree destroyed.

[whereserpentswalk]

"Creatives deserve to be paid" and "We desperately need community spaces for creatives that aren't focused on trying to make money or advance careers where we're allowed to make connections and experiment" are two statements that can and should coexist.

[wirelessmousegirl]

You're just saying that because your a sick pervert who gets off to themes and ideas

[hppjmxrgosg]

"going out to get milk" is a common turn of phrase used to describe a man abandoning his family.

the "milkman" is a common figure in stories depicting a woman's infidelity and adulterous affair.

this implies that the ability to provide milk would both decrease the likelihood of a man abandoning his wife and children, as it would eliminate the need for leaving to get milk AND would secure that man's marriage, as his wife would have no need to seek milk from an extraneous source.

therefore, all men should produce milk, through various means such as:

- being a cow

- being an almond

- being a woman

- being a coconut

- being in the omegaverse

- being an oat

(list is exemplary and not finite)

in this essay, i will redefine the nuclear family and explain the seductive and inflammatory nature of the 1993 "Got Milk?" commercials.

[hppjmxrgosg]

you shut your mouth.

[intactics-deactivated20250505]

the well ok of it all

[lesbianboyfriend]

the best part about having a job is being able to go through doors other people aren’t allowed to use the worst part is everything else