Ill Found Booty

[mochacoffee]

soon may the wellerman come, your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

[tallahasseemp3]

[ijaazat]

i will not let the email find me at all

[harehollows]

modern day retelling of sisyphus where instead of pushing a rock up a hill he’s having the worst time getting a fitted sheet onto a queen-sized mattress

[romcommunist]

self discipline is so hard like. i know the sucker who's in charge...a pushover who hates authority and loves hedonism

[kilbygirrl]

these 20’s really aint roaring man

[mellie-mp3]

stop saying "sorry for party rocking", instead try "thank you for your allowing me to party rock" or "I appreciate you being patient with me as I party rock, in the house tonight"

[amarveloustune]

what's a non-covid reason that you like wearing a mask for? mine is that it hides my mouth-breathing on long flights of stairs

[swordlesbianopinions]

I think women in ponds giving out swords is a fine system of governmence actually. May i have one

[matthewjohnsons]

spotify wrapped but it’s your bank showing you your 100 worst purchases of the year

[creepish]

sorry for killing the vibe. it will happen again

[anxietyproblem]

[semifinaldestination-deactivate]

Women be treating themselves to Special Coffee Drinks to motivate themselves to accomplish tedious errands

[mjalti]

[killowave]

[strawbeb]

it’s not ‘talking to myself’ it’s called a soliloquy you fuck

[mistermaxwellboucherdieasilived]

“even fate picks its favorites” is such a raw fucking line so it’s no surprise that it comes from the cinematic masterpiece Megamind (2010)

[nocontextgoodplace]

[the-poor-decision]

This is an underrated joke