Everything I want to say but never will

sshhh

[shyshybrain]

I always thought if it happened once, it can’t happen again. I thought I’m safe, but the truth is, your only loved one, can also be the most cruel one.

- any

[shyshybrain]

When I try to explain my feelings to someone, I suddenly can’t find the words anymore.

It’s so hard to find a person who understands what you can‘t say.. who understands you and accepts you with every bit of it.

-any

[shyshybrain]

If found, sometimes it’s just understanding each by the glimpse in the eyes, no words, no touch, just the present hurting both of you, together.

[shyshybrain]

Sometimes there is no poetry, it’s just my brain screaming one thing:

Die!

-any

[shyshybrain]

TW!

Almost one year later, I can’t stop questioning.

Ten doctors running around the hospital bed, trying everything to safe my life, even though it seems impossible. All this, no matter who I was, no matter how I looked, no matter what I achieved and not.

Inside I said goodbye to everyone and everything, thought I surely wouldn’t wake up anymore. I was ready to leave but suddenly

I woke up.

Why?

a miracle?

[shyshybrain]

“Find something you would die for and live for it.”

I found it and I’m still fighting the urge to die everyday again. Till today, I’m questioning my existence. When will it stop? When will I finally find peace?

- any

[shyshybrain]

No one treated me that bad as I treated myself.

I always wanted an apology from everyone, now I realised, I owe myself the biggest one.

- any

[shyshybrain]

When I try to explain my feelings to someone, I suddenly can’t find the words anymore.

It’s so hard to find a person who understands what you can‘t say.. who understands you and accepts you with every bit of it.

-any

[shyshybrain]

Now you might think there have to be someone come rescue you but while you’re searching for the one, you will understand that you have to learn how to rescue yourself.

Your inner child don’t need just someone, it needs you.

- any

[shyshybrain]

Having your life completely in your hands too soon destroys your child being. Now I can be in a room full of people I love, still knowing that I’m fully alone.

-any

[shyshybrain]

I just want to be ok, why is this so hard.

-any

[shyshybrain]

no matter what’s in front of you, no matter what’s in your head, you just have to breathe

till the bittersweet end

-any

[shyshybrain]

Today was like ‚how?‘.

-any

[shyshybrain]

Now, the only thing I can say is what the f*ck.

-any

[shyshybrain]

Sometimes i just want the people who are talking about me knowing what they don‘t.

-any

[shyshybrain]

If words aren’t enough, music is the way to express feelings.

-any

[shyshybrain]

I remember too much.

-any

[shyshybrain]

My fear of future is unbearable.

- any