Imminent Danger

Sicarius; [ Male ] Murderer, Assassin Name is James. I do not identify with Bucky. Not completely, at least. [M!A - None ]

[techmaestro]

Ill-Thought

[techmaestro]

sicarixs:

He frowned lightly, twitching again lightly. “Huh.” he said softly. “Yeah.. Please uh.. help.” he muttered, looking over at the other, knowing it was killing him not to help.

“Oh thank god.” He immediately released his cufflinks, his whole body and attention swiveling as his hands went for the one that Bucky was using to abuse himself with so he could pluck the tool out of his fingers. Looking down was definitely not as bad as he was worried it might be, thankfully, and he caught his wrist in one hand to bright the damaged gear up so he could look at it better. 

“So what, exactly, were you trying to do here?”

[sicarixs]

He let the man do this, knowing that there was no way of stopping him now, anyways. So he watched, quietly, as Tony made it look so much easier by just holding the tool he’d held just seconds ago. “Uh. I can’t move the thumb properly, it’s like something’s stuck.” he answered quietly, looking at the other. “Thought I could fix it, since I didn’t want you to have to handle this.”

[ahawkinthevents]

“I’ll leave the light on, okay? Look, it’s not dark.”

Clint looked up at him, grey eyes shadowed beneath from lack of sleep. It had been like this every night for the last six days, unable to sleep more than an hour or two before the nightmares–everything hazed in blue and his actions dictated by the voice in his head instead of his own consciousness–woke him with a scream.

“James,” he mumbled, reaching for him only by sliding his hand along the bed. He didn’t have the energy to lift his arm.

[sicarixs]

He frowned a little, moving towards the other and into the bed. He hummed quietly as he took the other’s hand into his own, gently squeezing it. “I’m here.” he promised gently, leaving the light on as he gently tugged on the other to get him closer. “Cuddle?”

[ahawkinthevents]

“Please?” It came out weak and more than a little needy. He curled into the man easily, burying his face in James’s stomach as he breathed him in.

[sicarixs]

He hummed and held him close, gently brushing the fingers of his human hand through the archer’s hair. “It’s okay. I’ve got you.” he promised, rubbing his back.

[ahawkinthevents]

“I’ll leave the light on, okay? Look, it’s not dark.”

Clint looked up at him, grey eyes shadowed beneath from lack of sleep. It had been like this every night for the last six days, unable to sleep more than an hour or two before the nightmares–everything hazed in blue and his actions dictated by the voice in his head instead of his own consciousness–woke him with a scream.

“James,” he mumbled, reaching for him only by sliding his hand along the bed. He didn’t have the energy to lift his arm.

[sicarixs]

He frowned a little, moving towards the other and into the bed. He hummed quietly as he took the other’s hand into his own, gently squeezing it. “I’m here.” he promised gently, leaving the light on as he gently tugged on the other to get him closer. “Cuddle?”

[dama-lara]

[dragonroleplaystarters]

Starters (Helping with Mental Illness)

“Hey, look at me. It’s not real. There isn’t anything there.”

“It’s okay! Nothing is in here, nothing!”

“Describe what you see to me.”

“Ssh, I don’t hear anything. We’re alone.”

“I don’t know how to make something that I can’t see go away!”

“Here, squeeze my hand. You can hold onto me. I’m real, I’m not going anywhere.”

“We’re going to play a game. Focus on yourself and the things around you. Focus on what’s real, and count. There is one book, there are two chairs. You have two arms, you have two legs. Okay? Keep counting and focusing on the things around you.”

“Take a deep breath in, that’s it, now let it out. Come on, you can do it again. Just breathe.”

“Can you hear me?”

“Sometimes, I can’t even recognize you.”

“Who are you, anymore?”

“Why are you shaking so much?”

“Hey, hey! You’re okay, you’re safe here! Please calm down, you have to breathe.”

“Here, I made you something to eat. I know you’re never hungry, but…”

“Have you had anything to drink or eat today?”

“Did you take your medicine today?”

“How did you sleep?”

“What did you do to yourself?”

“Let me see…please?”

“Here, I’ll clean and bandage it. Alright? Will you let me?”

“Why do you do this to yourself?”

“Stop, stop it! You’re hurting yourself!”

“I’ll leave the light on, okay? Look, it’s not dark.”

“I’ll stay right here. You’re not alone, okay? I’m here.”

“Hey, anxiety’s a bitch, right? I’ll go with you!”

“Hey, I’m proud of you. You did great.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“You’re not broken.”

“Wake up! It’s just a bad dream!”

“You don’t have to be afraid.”

“Come on, we need to go the hospital. You’ll be safe there.”

“Please…talk to me.”

[techmaestro]

Ill-Thought

[techmaestro]

sicarixs:

“Huh.” he made, shifting to lean over the arm a bit more, twitching as the somewhat loose part shocked him. “Oh. It’s probably not supposed to do that.” he added, frowning, before he glanced at Tony. “I can’t believe you’re actually actively not looking.”

“If I look I’ll probably cry, so not looking really seems like the best idea until you tell me you’ll let me fix whatever you did to yourself.” His tone was conversational, a little wry, and he half closed an eye, in the wake of the jolt because he heard that. He tugged a bit more persistently at his cufflinks and sighed. “So you can do that any time now.”

[sicarixs]

He frowned lightly, twitching again lightly. “Huh.” he said softly. “Yeah.. Please uh.. help.” he muttered, looking over at the other, knowing it was killing him not to help.

[fuckthisbloganditscurses]

Happiness Will Come To You.

[12goblins]

when tho

[fuckthisbloganditscurses]

When You Least Expect It. Probably Late March

[wizardshark]

reblog for happiness to come for you in late march!

[zigxortega]

[zac--efren]

I reblogged this last year and I hung out with blink-182 backstage on March 30. Reblogging again because it worked the first time.

[scientiablr]

honestly, last year one of the best days of my life happened in late March

[mnsreetusa]

I have my interview with Disney this week…

[tardisandtiaras]

I reblogged this a couple weeks ago, and then found out I finally got approved for a house and i move in at the end of March!

[swompwolf-deactivated20200619]

[techmaestro]

Ill-Thought

[techmaestro]

sicarixs:

He pouted. “I’m not sure, I guess I didn’t want to bother you.” he said quietly, shrugging then. “Just doesn’t want to work the way I want it to.” he murmured, frowning as he leaned towards the table to get a bigger tool.

“Well, do you actually know how to do what you’re trying to do or are you just poking it with tools and hoping one of them does the trick?” He turned his gaze skyward, fingers tugging at his cufflinks a little as he gave his head a shake. “Because that doesn’t tend to work with really fine electrical matrixes like what you have there.”

[sicarixs]

“Huh.” he made, shifting to lean over the arm a bit more, twitching as the somewhat loose part shocked him. “Oh. It’s probably not supposed to do that.” he added, frowning, before he glanced at Tony. “I can’t believe you’re actually actively not looking.”

[techmaestro]

Ill-Thought

@sicarixs from X

“Well, if you promise you won’t look, you can stay.” he murmured, leaning back over to try and fix something on the metal hand himself. He could do this, no problem.

“Too late.” He closed the eye on that side, a rough breath leaving him all at once as he did his best to not flutter over the whole thing. “Not to put too much of a point on the whole thing but why are you doing it yourself?”

[sicarixs]

He pouted. “I’m not sure, I guess I didn’t want to bother you.” he said quietly, shrugging then. “Just doesn’t want to work the way I want it to.” he murmured, frowning as he leaned towards the table to get a bigger tool.

[techmaestro]

“C’mere, you can sit in my lap until I’m done working.”

He hummed lowly, then made his way over, settling himself without a word as he looked over what the work in question even could be. “I didn’t know you had any ongoing projects right now.”

[sicarixs]

“Well, if you promise you won’t look, you can stay.” he murmured, leaning back over to try and fix something on the metal hand himself. He could do this, no problem.

[sicarixs]

||

Hello - someone home?

[stilltakingmetoschool]

“Pay attention to meee~!”

@sicarixs

[Meme] Send me “Pay attention to meee~!” for my muse’s reaction to yours draping themselves over mine’s lap 

“Oh, cool!” Tony responded–a little to pleased sounding.  He brought in the hand that had been propped on with armrest…with a large glass of ice tea.  “A convenient lap-table!” With his other hand, he yanked his uninvited sofa companion’s shirt up his back and set the bottom of the wet, icy-cold glass on a smooth patch of skin just under a last rib.

[stilltakingmetoschool]

“Bucky, I need you to listen to me if you trust me,” Tony said as gently as he could.  “If I did something to you that made you stop feeling safe or cared about, that means I injured you.  I didn’t mean to, but we need to talk about what I can do to give you back the feeling that you’re safe with me here.”

[sicarixs]

He listened, looking at the other. “It’s okay.” he said quietly, not able to help the small shudder running down his back. “You didn’t mean to. Just.. Don’t do it again.” he murmured, glancing up at the other. “I don’t blame you.”

[stilltakingmetoschool]

“I won’t do it again, and I’m still sorry,” Tony told Bucky sincerely, “Blaming someone for doing something wrong and having a reason to not feel safe with someone are things that are hard to define,” he tried hard to define.  “You can not blame me and still not feel safe with me.  All I can do is try to earn that back and let you know that I didn’t mean to take that away from you.”

[sicarixs]

Bucky nodded. “You didn’t know before and now that you do, you can change things.” he murmured, leaning in to gently kiss the other’s shoulder. “I forgive you.” he added then, still trying to calm down as much as he could. “I should be better with cold by now. And I’m still not.”

[stilltakingmetoschool]

“Thank you,” Tony acknowledged Bucky’s forgiveness with simple gratitude, but protested.  “There’s not ‘should’ about being feeling better about something that’s injured you.  I still get edgy if I ever have to travel through desert areas or anywhere near Afghanistan,” he admitted bitterly.  “I’m just now not feeling like I need to get away from people when anything touches my chest.  I still do when I’m in crowds of people I don’t know, but it’s not as bad as it use to be, and it’s been years.”

[sicarixs]

“I’ll try to get that into my head. It’s just my first instinct to apologize if I end up making someone’s day worse. You know? I just.. I wish it was easier. I wish I was easier.” he muttered, shifting to be able to look at the other again.

[techmaestro]

It’s Just Practicality

[sicarixs]

Attention hadn’t been brought to him in the past, at least not positive one. He huffed softly as the other went to scratch behind his ears, although they twitched lightly as he heard the man’s words.

There’s another wolf here? he asked, his tone somewhere between neutral and worried. He didn’t want any fights, and he sure didn’t need them right now.

[techmaestro]

“No, not right now anyway. He doesn’t live here. His scent is probably everywhere though. Lightly though since it’s been a while since he’s had time to visit. He’s uh, bigger than you by a bit. Just forewarning. I don’t think you’re going to have any issues with each other to be honest though, he never had any with me.”

He didn’t so much as pause in the attention.

[sicarixs]

Bucky’s ears twitched at those words, worry apparent in him.

Huh.

He wasn’t sure what was going on with that other one, but he didn’t care much for it, if he was being honest. He just didn’t want to start any fights, really.

Why doesn’t he live here?

[techmaestro]

Some Sort of Treaty

[techmaestro]

sicarixs:

James glanced at the man, as it seemed the other wasn’t as defensive anymore as he had been just moments prior. Maybe he could get his point across with honesty, as he had worked with that in the best way, really. 

“A chance.” he said, simply. “A chance for my people to stop the hunger, to stop the pain of losing loved ones. We’re a strong folk, but it doesn’t have to be this way. I want to possibly rebuild our partnership and get back to trading. We both know your country grows the best crops, and ours is known for our strong forests and mines. It’s all I want in return. I don’t want to be at war, I don’t want to see my people die from it. Or from hunger, or nature.”

Tony was quiet for a long moment then, taking in his words and releasing a soft sigh. He was aware of what a formidable force their two peoples once were together, how they’d been nearly impossible to topple. Yes, his own country was still strong on its own, but it had had to change how it was strong to survive.

The country led by the man before him hadn’t had that option. 

“I can agree that such an alliance would have definite benefits for both our peoples… should trust be rebuilt sufficiently to reach it.”

[sicarixs]

James nodded a little, thinking about his next words carefully. “I..” he started, then looked down a little. “Of course. What would be needed to rebuild trust from your side?” he asked, his gaze finally finding the other man once more, as it definitely interested him, and would form what his next thoughts would be and how they’d be voiced. “I can assure you it’s all I really want. I just want my people to be able to let go of some worry.”

[captainspangly]

sicarixs :

Bucky just follows Steve’s voice and his tug, because his sight is a little blurry, and he feels like just laying down and never getting up again. The problem was that, if he were to do that, he’d really not get up ever again. So he lets himself fall down onto the chair Steve puts him on, with his hand pressed to his side. “Uh-huh.” he answers, swaying even while only sitting as he presses more onto the bleeding side, hissing softly as pain shoots through him. 

He’ll be fine, though, he will always be fine. He has to take care of Steve, so he can’t just go and die or something. So he won’t. Instead, Bucky fights to keep his eyes open, and it’s never been this hard, really, as they just want to close and send him back to sleep.

Bucky’s lack of a reaction to the teasing makes Steve all the more worried about Bucky’s blood loss. If he can get the wounds closed though, Bucky will surely be okay, right? Steve makes quick work of getting the scissors and getting Bucky’s shirt off to assess the damage. “It’s not that bad, Buck, you’re going to be alright,” He assures him as he tosses aside the bloodied shirt and hurries over to the sink to fill a bowl with warm water and soap so that he can clean the wounds before he starts sewing them shut to prevent any infection from forming.

“This is going to hurt, it’s okay to hold onto my shoulder just as tight as you can, I’m right here for you.” Steve insists, trying to keep up communication with Bucky to keep him in the now.

[sicarixs]

Bucky hums lightly, nodding. He slowly takes his hand away, ignoring how sticky with blood it is. He just keeps nodding, trying not to drift off,although his body sways a little as he tries to just stay there. “‘s fine.” he murmurs, nodding then, before he swallows at the pain of Steve cleaning up the wound, but it helps as it keeps him awake and somewhat alert.

[captainspangly]

sicarixs :

His hand brushes gently over her hair, and through it, warm lips of his meeting the top of her head as he just holds her against himself. “And I’m lucky, too.” he murmurs, letting the moment settle for a little while, his heart thumping in his chest, strong and happy. “We’re gonna be parents..” he murmurs, yet it still doesn’t sound scary to him, really.

The idea of that still makes Sarah’s heart skip a beat unpleasantly. She’s worried about all the things that could go wrong not just after her pregnancy but during. The baby might be as sick as she was, but she prays that he might get all of Bucky’s strength and charisma while he’s in there. Her little body wasn’t made to carry babies, so what if that somehow ruins the baby, what if after so many months there’s no more room for him to grow? What if giving birth kills the baby? What if it kills her? And then after, how will she know how to be a good mother when she only had her own for a little while? She can’t remember all the things her mother taught her, how will she know what to do? Does the baby come home from the hospital with an instruction manual?

She tries not to let this distract her from the way that it doesn’t sound like Bucky is dreading becoming a father at all and the way that his lips feel against her skin, trying to lose herself in this moment rather than her own insecurities.

[sicarixs]

He smiles a little, but he can almost feel Sarah’s head thinking and thinking and thinking. She always did, and he wanted to stop it. Gently, he kissed from the top of her head down to her cheeks, pressing warm kisses along them, down to her lips to capture them in a gentle kiss. “You’re not alone, Sarah. Everything’s going to be okay.” he whispers against her lips, shifting her more against himself. “I love you so much...”

[lostmeadowjade]

burn this city down for you

[lostmeadowjade]

Tony took his time and made a thorough job of it, wiping his hand clean on the sheets when Bucky came back down to him. Reaching back, he drew up the blanket that had been folded at the foot of the bed. Pulling it up over them as he came back up along side Bucky. “Hey, handsome,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to Bucky’s shoulder. “How you feeling?” he asked, laying his arm across his mate’s stomach.

[sicarixs]

Bucky smiled happily as the other came up to be next to him. He shifted into him immediately, nuzzling him as he offered him a gentle purr in return. He was content, warm and happy as his arm came around to cuddle against the other, eyes closing. “Mm...” he made, sighing happily. “So good.. love you.” he whispered, warmth spreading in him more and more.