I Got Too Much On My Mind

[sick-puppyy]

[sick-puppyy]

Can someone please take JK Rowling to the woods and put her out of her misery before the franchise becomes the next Fast and the Furious

[sick-puppyy]

I find the most unrealistic thing about the Matrix is Neo not at least asking what would happen if he takes both pills

[sick-puppyy]

One of the best life advices I can give is that if you see a toilet in your dreams, don't use it.

[sick-puppyy]

Watching a documentary about a serial killer who was fascinated by an ancient God called fucking PAZUZU of all names like I couldn't take a Pokémon called Pazuzu seriously much less sth that looks like a deformed emaciated moth with a permanent erection ffs

[sick-puppyy]

Bitch trying to work from fucking Mars but doesn't want employees working from home smh

[sick-puppyy]

I go to Starbucks today for the first time in 4 years (cause their coffee sucks) and I'm nervous cause I'm meeting an old friend I haven't seen in a couple years. Barista tells me he loves my curls and wants to curl his hair like mine and we spend around 5 minutes talking about leave-in conditioners, after which I'm no longer nervous. Thank you, random Starbucks barista! I hope your curls end up defined and shiny <3

[sick-puppyy]

[sick-puppyy]

[sick-puppyy]

Goodbye, Henry Hill. You'll never be forgotten 💔

[sick-puppyy]

When normal people are depressed: Spend all day in bed, watching a sitcom for the 20th time

When I'm depressed:

[sick-puppyy]

Imagine going through the death of a loved one in 1791 and then Mozart comes out with Requiem

[sick-puppyy]

Friend: Let's see if you can pass this taste test

Me, blindfolded: Hmmm, spicy leather, stale bread, undercooked cheese, 5 year old meat, vegetables 3 days past expiry date. Pizza Hut!

Friend: Wow, absolutely correct

[sick-puppyy]

I love how Martin Scorcese made a whole movie with A list celebrities just to say Don't stick your dick in crazy

[sick-puppyy]

Van Gough's friend: Hey Vincent did you hear about the dude who donated a kidney to his girlfriend?

Van Gough: That's nothing. Hold my ear

[sick-puppyy]

In the spirit of the season I thought I'd share the original Firestarter

[sick-puppyy]

I started watching a lot of shows cause I couldn't read anymore I just abandoned books in the middle and never finished them. Now I start a show, reach episode 12, completely interested still, also never finish it. Now I start YouTube videos and never finish them. If my attention span continues to diminish I'm gonna have to tape my forehead to the back of the chair and my hands to whatever it is I'm doing.