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[chalala-chan]

[ghostdata]

[vedettepersona]

oh to be the person in someone’s heart shaped locket

[alwaysbewoke]

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[diaryofamanipulator]

The rules of the Sugar baby job...

You guys need to understand that being a sugar baby is almost like a job! You have to go on interviews, you have to look presentable, and you get paid. You wouldn’t drink at work and this is no different! 

-No drinking or drugs on the job

You should not be under the influence of anything while working, it changes you and takes the control out of your hands. You should be in control of yourself and the situation 98% of the time. You would be very upset if something were to happen and you were not in control of the situation.

-always look and smell presentable

You may be beautiful and have an amazing body and great personality, but if you show up to a daddy looking sloppy, or smelling bad it won’t be long before your investor decides to go else where.

-Don’t get caught up in the money

Don’t let the promise of money cloud your better judgement. Just because someone promises you 1,000 and he seems serious doesn’t mean you should bend any of your rules. If he doesn’t seem like the kind of guy who would give you 1,000$ he probably isn’t. I’ve made this mistake before once. It was probably the worst night of my life.  Make sure this guy is real and can afford your time before agreeing to meet him. Which brings us to the next rule.

-Never… and I mean never agree to be alone with someone you haven’t met in person yet. 

SCREEN, SCREEN, SCREEN! The screening process of this is very important, skype, call, text, google all information they give you and you should always meet your POT daddy in a public place. During your first meeting you should be judging him, check out what he’s wearing how he pays for the meal, the way he speaks, and behaves during your date. Don’t worry he’s doing the same with you. Figure out who he really is, and what he wants from you in your head before he tells you. It’s better to assume he’s dangerous and get out of there than to give him the benefit of the doubt and get hurt. When I met my Daddy who’s an attorney (I can’t remember what fake name I gave him for this blog) he wanted me to dress up and come see him in his office. I didn’t agree because anything could have happened where I wouldn’t be in control of the situation. We met at a restaurant near his office and he gave me half of the money towards my tuition, it was a great sign that he was for real and after that I allowed him to take me places where we would be alone. 

-Never work for free. 

Time is money and this should be taken very literally in the sugar baby world. You shouldn’t be spending time with him, chatting with him on the phone excessively, texting back and forth, and especially sending nude or other photos of your self to this guy unless he’s already agreed to sponsor you, you have met him in person, and he has already in someway sponsored you. I don’t even meet guys unless they agree to a meet and greet fee. If you give him your attention he will take advantage of it. Any guy would. Why buy the cow right?

I hope you girls read these rules and take them into consideration when you are with your daddies. I wouldn’t take my time to post them if they didn’t work. I’m just sad to hear about girls being taken advantage of when it can be totally avoided. Have fun and be safe ladies :)

I almost forgot!!! The number 1 SB RULE is

-TRUST YOUR GUT!!!

If something just doesn’t feel right. Leave, delete, skip, hang up… sometimes your woman's intuition is the best judgement, or even the only judgement you can use!

-The Manipulator

[saccharinebabe]

The Psychology of Persuasion for Sugar Babies.

As a possible psych major, I thought I’d pass on these concepts I learned last year in class that are important for any sugar baby to know about. These are tips and concepts that will allow you to persuade a POT or SD into giving you what you want.

Foot in the Door- ask for something small; when they give it to you, then ask for something bigger. They have already said yes to you, and are therefore more likely to continue to say yes to you. Use this when out shopping, or when asking for an allowance raise. EX. Ask to go to one store for something you “need.” While your there and their buying you that thing, pick out other stuff too. Again, they are less likely to refuse you because they already agreed to buying the first item. The suggest popping into another store “while we’re out.” Same concept with allowance. Say something along the lines of “the allowance you’re giving me is already so generous, but another $1,000 would really help me out”

Door in the Face-  make big request, when they refuse, ask for something smaller. It will seem reasonable in comparison, and they will be more likely to say yes. When asking for an allowance, ask fore more than you really want. Best case scenario, they agree to it. But if they don’t, when you then ask for your REAL desired allowance, it will seem like a bargain in comparison, and they are more likely to agree to it.

Other tips

Repeated exposure to something makes it more appealing. Seeing your POT a few times before agreeing to an allowance may be in your best interest.

Agreement and praise make you more convincing. During your date, compliment your POT and agree with what he says, even if you don’t really agree. This makes him easier to persuade.

On that note, people with low self esteem are more prone to social pressure. If you think your POT has low self esteem, praising him makes him more likely to do what you want.

Context is important. Pleasant surroundings make people more agreeable. Have the allowance talk in a nice place when your POT is in a good mood, it will work in your favor.

[saccharinebabe]

Shit To Pay Attention To On Dates.

These are small things that, in my opinion, distinguish the sugar from the salt.

Location: Where are you meeting? Is it nice? Does it feel like a place a wealthy and mature man would frequent? Is it perhaps well known or famous?

When you get there: It should go without saying that he should pay for everything. But watch his reactions as you order. Is he cringing when you order something expensive? Is he encouraging you to get whatever you want? Is he rushing the meal or is he taking his time, making sure you’re enjoying the meal?

Form of payment: Try to slyly check out what kind of credit card he’s paying with. Not foolproof, but seeing a well regarded card, like a platinum amex, is a good sign.

How he looks: Think beyond “handsome” because he probably won’t be. What I mean, is does he look hygienic? Do his clothes look good?

Discussion: In my experience, salty dudes shy away from discussing allowances and arrangements. Genuine sugar daddies, however, are quite comfortable discussing terms, and letting you know what they want out of an arrangement.

After the date: I don’t think a cash gift is always necessary after a date, especially when you’ve agreed on a multi-thousand dollar allowance, which you expect on the next date. But he should compensate you for any travel expenses. 

[thesugaringescort]

5 Questions to ask BEFORE agreeing to an allowance offer

1. How much is the allowance?

Obviously, we all have a magical number in our heads, but if we are unable to have these numbers met, then I feel that the next best thing is compromising. Hopefully it’s a win-win situation. It should be a number you are happy with, not stuck with.

You should clearly know the amount that your allowance will be and any of of the major details of the arrangement, before you begin acting upon any of those details together, and not be told something such as “well it may take a while to see if we have any real chemistry first, if you know what I mean” wink wink…umm nope.

2. How will the sum of your allowance be paid to you?

Will it always be paid in the same manner, so that you can count on it? At the very least, if he can not pay you in cash every month, as is the preferred method, try to figure out what his second and third favourite options are. This will save both you and him possible hassles later on. Maybe it will be variety of pre-paid visas, cash, direct deposits, certified cheques ( no regular cheques ladies!), email money transfers, or perhaps one month he decides its all in gift cards to Walmart…then what??

3. How often will you receive your allowance?

Its fair to say that most SB’s receive their allowances monthly, however it is becoming quite common for SB’s to receive their allowances either biweekly or per visit with their SD.

**And before anyone jumps down these ladies throats for accepting “per visits” often times it is the married SD’s themselves who suggest paying the allowance this way to hide larger financial transactions from unsuspecting wives or girlfriends who would become suspicious of larger amounts of money being withdrawn. I actually prefer it this way, money in my hand on the day my time was given/accounted for, makes for a very happy me, instead of waiting a month and wondering if it will come, if he’ll remember or if it will be late etc etc.

The main reason to know how often you will receive your allowance is to be able to plan ahead with your own finances. If he plans on giving you your allowance at random times when he can “sneak away” money, than that may not help you plan ahead for your rent that’s due on the 1st of every month, your car payment that’s due on the 15th or your schools tuition payment schedule etc. Whether its monthly, biweekly, weekly or daily, you’ll need to plan ahead wisely so your prepared either way.

Like the old saying never live pay cheque to pay cheque, it’s important to get yourself to a stage where you’re not living “allowance to allowance”.

4. What do you need to do to get your allowance?

The all important question. Just like they ask us the inevitable “What does that get me?”, we need to ask them and ourselves the important question of “What do I have to do for that?”

Here are some basics, there are more but here’s a few:

* How often would you like to see each other?

* Is this a mutually exclusive SD/SB arrangement?

* What time frame would you like these dates to be for?

* What types of activities would you like to do on these dates?

* Would you like for me to travel to you, you to travel to me, both, or meet in the middle, or a combination of all?

* Is there any chance of out of town travelling or overnight night stays together?

* If so, what would you like to happen in that instance, a shared room or separate rooms?

* Would you like me to attend certain social/work functions with you?

* How often would he like you to communicate and through which means? Email, phone calls, texts, Skype?

* What are his AND your sexual expectations?

* Etc…

Basically, you need to clarify what it is he wants from you, for you and of you, in order for you to receive your money.

5. What can you do that would hinder receiving your allowance?

This is self-explanatory. Assuming his requirements are within reason, you do not want to do anything that would ruin a good arrangement with a respectful, charming, selfless, genuine and honest Sugar Daddy, not to mention good looking ,)

However, something that may make him think twice about giving you your allowance is if he suspects or finds out you have another SD or have been entertaining a Pot, when he thought you were exclusive. There are ways to hide this, but that’s another post.

Things that can hinder obtaining your allowance can range from what may seem insignificant to one person to an absolute deal breaker to another. It all depends on the details and requirements that you both agreed to when establishing your arrangement. This is why it’s important to ask the questions listed in #4, so you know whether or not it’s the right arrangement for you.

It’s a good idea to ask him for specific examples of things that would be deal breakers for him, so that you know ahead of time, what to avoid, or what to be sneaky about.

Something to keep in mind, is “What can you do to increase your allowance?”

Now, I’m not saying to go and flat out ask for a raise in your allowance, unless you have maintained a successful arrangement with the same SD for a fair bit of time, then by all means go for it! But if you are new to the arrangement or the bowl in general, think of it this way, “treat others how you would want to be treated”. Make them feel special, go out of your way to remember the little things, mention the little things and do the little things, that the other people in their lives have taken for granted. Show them that you care.

“Arrangements are work. The allowances are the pay cheques.”

Good luck ladies ;) and please add on!!

[mademoisellehypergamy]

Mademoiselle Hypergamy’s Safety Guide to Dating Hypergamously

Ladies, I care about each one of you, and although being in a hypergamous relationship is our goal, don’t risk your life for it. Your safety is not worth a handbag. I have compiled a list of important things to do while dating hypergamously to protect yourselves. Make sure you have this post saved, you never know when it’ll come in handy. 

🌙DO NOT MEET SOMEONE IN PERSON UNTIL YOU HAVE VETTED THEM! PERIOD. I don’t know why I have to outline the obvious, but some of ya’ll are so desperate for a quick fix that you would risk your wellbeing for a Louis bag! Before you meet someone, make sure you do EXTENSIVE homework on who they are. This means if you cannot write me a good paragraph about who he is/his background before meeting, then you need to get more information.

Do not be shy to ask men questions to be able to vet their identity. I tell men all the time, “I don’t feel comfortable meeting just yet… I would feel more comfortable if I could confirm your identity prior to the first date”, then I list out ways this can be confirmed. Social media pages, occupation information, and pre-meeting phone calls are all good ways to do this!

A high value man wants a woman to be protected. He will have no problem easing your concerns.

🌙 Have a Burner Phone. Ladies, this is a must! Get a prepaid phone for $30, and use that number when dating men. Whether a man approaches you in person or wants to transition from a dating app, GIVE THEM THIS NUMBER ONLY! 

By giving a man your real number, not only are you giving him easy access to contact you, but your number is tied to MANY things (Facebook account, Snapchat, IG, public records). 

If you can’t get a burner phone for whatever reason, use Google Voice or a similar app that can give you a fake number for free.

🌙 Confirm their Employment Through Linkedin. I love doing this for two reasons:

1. Most people will not take the time to fake a Linkedin account. The moment I find a man’s Linkedin, I know (professionally at least) he’s a real person, and probably not lying about his job. 

2. Estimate his income! When you are able to verify his job title, you can look into his possible salary range.

🌙 Invest in Self Defense. Whether its self defense lessons or carrying mace, ALWAYS be ready to defend yourself.

🌙 Use Your First Name ONLY, or an Alias.  If you’re using an alias, make sure its close to your first name (like a nickname) or your middle name. Never give out your full name.

🌙Do Not Give a Man Access to Your Social Media. Unless a man connected with you through social media to begin with, DO NOT GIVE THESE MEN ACCESS TO YOUR PAGES. Not only will this tip protect you, but it aides in seduction by keeping you mysterious.  

🌙 No House Dates. Ladies, a man should not be coming into your home, and you should avoid going to his. I know with this pandemic men will try to justify having ‘home dates’. Do not fall for that nonsense.  Most men who suggest a date in his home hope it will allow for easier access to sex. Not only is it low effort, but it is also potentially dangerous to you. Delay going to his house for as long as possible!

🌙 Do Not Risk Your Children. Okay, this one blows my mind. Ladies. DO NOT EXPOSE YOUR CHILDREN TO THESE MEN. He should not be meeting your children until the talk of marriage is on the table! Bringing random men in a child’s life is disruptive, and these men can be dangerous predators. Don’t post your children on dating apps either. Why would you expose your child to these apps???

🌙 Have a Hypergamy Buddy. As some of you know, my younger sister is my partner in crime on my hypergamous journey. Whenever I am out with a man, she is ALWAYS tracking my location. She also has full details about him (his name, phone number, occupation, social media, and pictures). We also have a safety plan in place for her to call me at certain times in case she hasn’t heard from me. 

Having my biological sister as a fellow hypergamous woman has helped me tremendously. I realize this isn’t a luxury most hypergamous women have (especially with jealous women out there who may try to sabotage you). If you do not have a hypergamous buddy, I recommend telling a close friend that you’re going on a date with a man you met and you wish to share your location with her for safety reasons. You do not need to explain hypergamy to this friend, just let her believe it’s just a regular date and you’re concerned about safety. No need to give too much information.

Stay safe, and stay hypergamous. ❤️

🌙 Follow me on IG for more: @mademoisellehypergamy 

[mademoisellehypergamy]

Hypergamous Reminders:

Mademoiselle has some reminders for you all tonight. Please review these and see where you can improve:

1. If you’re afraid of losing him, that means you’re prizing him above yourself. Level up, sis. You are the prize. 2. Always have a roster. If Plan A acts up, quickly go to Plan B. Or Plan C-Z. 3. Check your emotions. Why are you getting emotionally invested in a man that is not your husband???? A man that’s not even paying all your bills??  4. Move in silence. Don’t tell anyone what your plans are. Don’t tell anyone who you are dating. Shut the f*ck up. See how smoothly your life goes when you’re silent. 5. Date with a purpose. Yes, we are all dating to marry hypergamously, but if that is your only goal, you are foolish. You should have dozens of goals to achieve along the path to marriage. 6. Your looks won’t make you marry hypergamously– but girl, it sure will help. Don’t wait until you meet a high value man to start taking care of your appearance, start now. 7. Respect your body. Having a roster does not mean to have sex with multiple men. 🤦🏽‍♀️ 8. Only broke men/dusties have a problem with hypergamy. High value men enjoy caring and providing for a woman. 9. “It’s just as easy to fall in love with a rich man as a poor man”.  10. 90% of your questions about hypergamy can be answered by you levelling up mentally. I promise.

[2018glowup-deactivated20180814]

How to attract Happiness, Confidence,  and Self-Love:

Disclaimer: A couple months ago, I used to be in a very bad state of mind. I was struggling with depression, an eating disorder and very very low self esteem. I would see these sort of tips and automatically thought “bullshit”. But one day, I gave those tips a chance, and a promise you that my life is changing. I still have dark days and I’m not 100% happy, but I’m slowly getting there!

- Tip #1: Treat yourself the way you want others to treat you

Treat yourself the way you want others to treat you. Would you feel happy if someone walked up to you and told you “you are useless, you are ugly, etc…”? Obviously not, so why do you say these negative things to yourself?

-Tip #2: Stop saying negative comments about yourself 

Like tip #1, stop saying negative shit about you. Even if it’s ironic comments like “I want to kms” or “I look so fat all the time”. When you say those things, you subconscious mind absorbs it, and the horrible things that you are saying probably have a chance of becoming true if you keep saying and believing them.

-Tip #3: Say positive things about yourself, even if you feel ridiculous

Say positive things about yourself. Look in the mirror and tell yourself “wow i look hot”, “wow i’m so beautiful”, etc… And even if your surroundings try to bring you down, let’s say if your grandma tells you that you gained weight, reply with something like “what do you mean? I look beautiful and I have a perfectly healthy body, I’m beautiful, etc…”. Even if you feel ridiculous saying those things, your subconscious mind will absorb these facts and they will become true and you will end up believing in them and become confident! You can even write  down those positive comments. 

-Tip #4: Be thankful:

 Even if you feel like your life isn’t the best, try and still be thankful for the things you have. You don’t need to believe in God to be thankful. I don’t believe in God but I am still thankful for having a roof on top of my head, having food, access to water, a supportive family, etc.. You can write those things down if you want to.

-Tip #5: Have small goals everyday:

Every morning when you wake up, set at least 3 goals for the day. It can be the smallest goals, like: do 20 squats, or: drink a smoothie, or: make your bed. Whatever those goals may be, they will help you do something, get out of bed and feel like you accomplished something. The more smaller goals you achieve, the more you will be able to achieve you bigger goals in the future!

-Tip #6: Visualize what you want:

Visualize or write down the life you want. If you write it down, write in the present tense as if you already have everything and focus on your emotions and how these things make you feel. And while you do so, don’t think “I wish I had this life”, think: “I have this life and it makes me happy”. Once something is true in your brain and subconscious mind, it will become true physically. You will manifest what you want. (keep your goals realistic though)

-Tip #7: Spread positivity:

What you let out in the universe, you will get it back. The more compliments you give out, the more compliments you will receive. The more money or gifts you give out, the more you will receive. The more good vibes you give out, the more you will receive. However, the more negativity you give out, the more you will receive. 

-Tip #8: Live as if you already have your dream life.

Wanna be happy? Smile more, surround yourself with good people, get rid of all things, people, or habits that make you unhappy. 

Wanna lose/gain weight? Start buying clothes of the desired size you want to fit in.

Wanna have a partner/soulmate? Stop being desperate and living the stereotypical life of crying and eating ice cream in front of love movies, and start living your life as if you already have someone, but that someone is you. Once you stop focusing on that empty stop next to you and living life as if you already have everything you want, I promise you that you will attract someone.

Don’t become delusional, but basically, fake it till you make it. If you live as if you are confident, happy and that you love yourself, and that you represent your own goals, you WILL be the person you wanna be right now.

[sunkissedme]

I will be everything I long to be

[sushiandplutonium]

I decided to become Vegan

After watching the documentary The Game Changer, I get it now. All my misconceptions/fears about plant based diets are gone! (I do need to fact check them, tho)

A meat-based diet was created by the meat industry itself. It's the current age public addiction equivalent of the cigarette industry in the XX century. If you don't eat meat, you're lesser of a man. Meat protein is better absorbed than plant based protein. You're not gonna grow bigger without a lot of protein/ a lot of meat. You won't have enough energy. Etc, etc, etc.

I have then decided to go stricter on my diet. Right now I am cooking vegan dishes for my lunches throughout the week, and the test of the days/meals, I'll reduce meat consumption.

The fact is, i don't even feel like I need meat anymore. It does taste nice, but I have explored so many different flavours that I don't feel like I have to always have that umami, salty flavour. It's just one of so many different flavour profiles. It's a shame most people only like to explore the sugaryandthe meaty profiles.

Anyway, I hope I manage to keep up. I'm gonna start this week, although I do have some mealprep in the fridge with animal products So I'm gonna eat those first and then start the challenge, because one thing worse than eating meat is food waste.

[severelynerdysheep]

That’s soo great that you’re making the change to veganism! I havbent watched the new documentary myself but thats really great if its helping break down some of those misconseptions about veganism and health. I’ll add some down below links to some fab resources below on going vegan with but my ask box is also always open if you have any questions or queries!

~ Free goveganworld guide

~  The Ultimate Vegan Guide: Compassionate Living Without Sacrifice

~ Viva, a fab UK charity which has loads of info!

~ More info on veganism and all the areas of animal exploitation from the vegan society

~ The stingy vegan (great recipes)

~ Youngbrokevegan (more fab recipes)

~ A great facebook group!

~ 54 cheap vegan meals that dont skimp on taste.

~ Land of hope and glory (another documentary set in the UK)

~ Dominion (and another one set in Australia)

~ A fab article from @acti-veg with some great tips! (and their whole website and tumblr is full of really great information and is really helpful!)

~ The vegan societies nutrition advice

~ Veganuary starter kit

~ Vegan nutrition guide

[90smovies]

[mad-quixotic-tales]

WHAT!?!?!?!!?! @captainquixotic

[nsfwbbabyy]

current mood: soft touches that are enough to keep you leaking and horny, but not enough to get you close at all. just a low level of arousal that you can’t escape, no matter how much you beg sweet baby.

[sunlightporn-deactivated2019020]

Underrated kink stuff: casual bdsm. Watching a film together but the sub is gagged and bound. Playing boardgames but the sub has a vibrator strapped to them. Cooking dinner but the sub has a plug in their ass and their nipples are clamped. Hanging out together reading a book or something but the dom has their hnds between the sub’s legs. The possibilities are endless.

[dominance-by-design]

Love this stuff.

[female-orgasm-denial]

Amen to that.

[bearded-master-c]

I love doing this kind of thing.

[bisou-bisou-bisou-bisou-deactiv]

It’s going down; I’m yelling Tinder

Now, I’m not going to front like I’ve ever had a “real” sugar daddy, because I haven’t. However, I am extremely smart and have noticed that things for me have changed since I began doing this in December, and I’ve recently caught (and kept) the attention of two whales, I’m going to give advice that has helped me immensely become a more experienced SB. 

All of this is advice anyone can use, honestly. It’s about what comes out of your mouth, and how these men may perceive you in the beginning. Basic communication.

Why I began sugaring? Because I’m tired of being broke. 

In the beginning: I had prepared, but not enough, for what I was indulging in. Seeking Arrangement was not working for me, at all. Craigslist gave me decent men here and there, but most of them were creepy guys or guys that had already responded to my ads a million times. SugarDaddie never really worked, and I’m pretty sure most of the profiles on that site are fake. Freestyling I’ve never even covered, because I have crippling social anxiety. 

Tinder has, and always will be, the best medium I’ve used to sugar. That’s where I’ve met my whales and true potentials. 

As of late: Seeking Arrangement is still garbage, CL is dry, SDaddie I don’t even mess with, and freestyling remains the same. 

Tinder remains the medium in which I get better results. I talk to these men the same way I’d talk with a vanilla.

Back when I began: I’d constantly get asked things like, “what do I get out of things?”. 

No one has even mentioned such to me lately. I’d have a copy paste saying shit like, 

“Hi x! I like x, y, z, and I am seeking a f, g, h. I don’t have a lot of time to date/don’t date guys my age/etc. Let me know if this is something that you are interested in.” 

It wasn’t working for me, and I was receiving results from guys that weren’t material for what I was even looking for. Also, Tinder had already froze two accounts of mine, and I didn’t want there to be a third. 

I was simply spewing what I had to offer, but after a while, after too many CL responses of men giving me the ultimatum of sending my photos or facing a waste of time, I decided that I was the boss. 

These men are here for me, not the other way around. So, I cut my losses, and changed my attitude. 

So, on Tinder, instead of messaging men, I decided to let them come to me. I decided to make it so easy and transparent for them to know what it is that I am seeking. My most recent profile went along the lines of the following:

City I live in. University of X grad, class of Y.

Things you enjoy doing.

Adjective about yourself, adjective about yourself, and adjective about yourself SB. 

If I am swiping in your city, I will be there next/I’m coming for you/insert projected dates of trip.

My entire point was to put SB SOMEWHERE in my profile. Not sugar baby, but SB. So, when a man asks me, “Where you from/what are you looking for/school, etc.,” I can tell if they have even read my profile in the first place, and also saves a lot of small talk, bullshitting, and time. There are some men that say that they aren’t looking for gold diggers/SBSD, and it’s only fair to be upfront if that is your thing. 

Also, when they ask the questions above, you can hit them with the “did you read my profile?” in a playful way, to make them feel stupid. If they ask what a “SB” is, I unmatch. I do not entertain it for another second.

None of my photos were really risque, except for the first one. It caught the attention of many, many men. The rest were all of me, headshots, because I didn’t have body photos that didn’t cut my head off in the “square” cropping.

NOTE: Men are visual creatures, I get it, and I said fuck that because I’m unconventional, and it worked for me. I’d still suggest putting out photos of your body, if you can. It will save you one of my steps. 

So, now you’ve matched and he begins to speak to you. Now what do you say, what do you do?

I suggest remaining in control of the conversation, at all times. This way he will see you are not acting flakey, and also gives you control over how much you get to learn in the beginning, and about what, who gets to talk more, and very importantly, what their career choice is. It also shows him that you want to know the man, himself, and when money talk comes he cannot say that’s the only things you are interested in.

Did they have a fun day/weekend? If it’s a weekday, I ask if they are being productive, this gives me incentive to ask what they do for a living, without it coming “out of the blue” (a past mistake.). When they answer, I respond with my own job, saving them a line. Depending on their profession, I either continue speaking, or cut it. 

Now, this only applies to people like me who are after men primarily 45+, but somewhere in the mix I always ask the man if they always date a woman 20 something years younger than them. This will say a lot, as a SB, as what he responds with could be a red flag, or signs of experience.

If he says yes, you can ask him how it worked out. 

If he says no, personally, I consider it cut at that point, but don’t always write them off. Most men want a younger woman, but someone in the past had incentive to date this man. Why?

I always mention myself that I prefer older men, don’t have interest in dating men my age, so he can get rid of that deep down feeling that I’m just doing this “for the money.”

If he says shit like, “yes, I once dated a woman around your age, and we had a lot of fun together. We would go out, dance, shoot the shit, and have amazing sex. Unfortunately, we broke up, she moved away/wanted other shit/other bullshit”

I cut it. Nothing in there mentions helping her, or doing anything not vanilla. He’s probably vanilla. 

Now, if they bring up, “what are you looking for?”, what I do is similar to what I read from @sugardaddyjournal​. In this post, he explains an outline of how to tell a man you are looking for a SD. I don’t quote that verbatim. 

In fact, I can’t believe I am saying this, but you should never quote any advice from a Tumblr blog or otherwise, verbatim. A bunch of other girls are already doing it. Don’t copy and paste shit. If you have issues with thinking for yourself, and basic communication, I would highly suggest getting that worked out before pursuing any of this.

I ONLY tell them what I am seeking, when they ask me, or when they are getting closer to asking me on a date. What I say:

To be completely honest, POT, I am looking for an ongoing relationship with a man that can enhance my life, and is happy to do so. If being a SD is not your thing, I understand! But, that is what I am looking for.

STRESS “ONGOING RELATIONSHIP”. Many men use SB as another word for “escort” and may be looking for just that. If you’re not okay with p4p, I suggest stressing “ongoing relationship”.

Now, if he has done it before, this is the part where he brings that up, or he brings up how he does not need to “pay for sex”/”gets pussy all day blah blah blah. If it’s the latter, cut it. 

If it’s the former, I immediately derail from that and go back to him. What does he like to do? Where is he living? Has he ever been to your hometown? Get to know the damn man.

WHAT I DO NOT DO ON TINDER:

I do not bring up allowance. Ever. 

Mainly my paranoia of becoming reported again, but I just don’t do it. I judge by his profession and history of being a SD if he is true potential. It’s still pretty early to ask about that, as I would be upset if he asked about sex and shit that soon as well. Somewhere between meeting and the meet and greet, I suggest having that talk. Just not over Tinder.

Now, another thing that I mention about myself, to be safe.

I tell them my body type. I’m a size 14, Coke bottle/figure 8 shape, with 36E breasts and a round ass. To some many men this shit matters. This is a superficial line of sex work. If a guy only dates women a certain type, cut it. I am highly intelligent, educated, and am loyal to a fault. If a man doesn’t see that because of my size, he isn’t worth my time.

I say, 

Just so we are on the same page, POT, do you have any reservations about voluptuous/bigger/curvy/fat/skinny/colored (yes, this matters to some as well) women?

If he doesn’t care, I’ll feel dumb but relieved. If he isn’t into it, he probably will dry up, or lie about it, to be honest. All the same, cut it.

From there, take note of everything that he says. How does he speak to you? 

This is universal. If a man speaks to me in any of the following ways…

Extremely sexual, asking for tons of photos, nude photos, dirty talk, or general time wasting

Asks “how much are you looking for?” and does not budge

Extremely overbearing in talking to you, but does not talk about helping you, or even showing interest in doing so

I cut it.

One, it’s sexual harassment to ask me sexual shit when I don’t know you from a hole in the wall. If they ask for pictures, I ask for money. Quid pro quo. Fuck their feelings.

Two, if he has been a SD in the past, he should be willing at some point to tell you how he plans to benefit your life, and that is also regarding an allowance. I always tell them that I cannot be trusted to write a number on a blank proverbial check, because I do not know their means. When that doesn’t work, I tell them a number “in the mid-to-upper 4-digit range”, or tell them a specific number I received in the past. If he won’t take it, he can’t afford you.

Three, guys like that are probably more vanilla and lying about wanting to be a SD, or want to “spoil” you with mediocre gifts here and there. 

Voila. This is how I sift through the bullshit. It’s a much clearer way of avoiding the long game, and avoiding being “too quick”. 

The most important part of this entire post

Now, I will reiterate that if you cannot speak for yourself, and cannot communicate adequately, you will waste your time. You should not be asking your peers things like “what do I say when he asks what I’m looking for?” “what should I ask as an allowance?” “if a man is asking for nudes, what do I do?” 

You should already know what you are looking for, and not looking to another SB, who is in another place in life, for the answers to what you should have decided in the first place. You should not be looking to strive for things other people have worked for. They look differently, speak differently, walk, talk, have a totally different personality, etc. You can’t be someone that you are not. You have to be confident in who you are because these men can smell the bullshit and weakness.

If you really can’t figure it out, treat the man like you would any cute vanilla boy. It might be easier to charm his pants off this way.

Don’t let the luxe porn and money shots fool you, this shit will not happen overnight, two nights, months or even a year. You have to work for it, and deal with a lot of bullshit. Patience will always help you in the end, because a lot of this is truly luck.

[kotobukiyo-blog]

great advice here!

[sugarcoatedpeach]

I pretty much agree and can take value with everything except putting ‘sb’ in your bio.