Notebook

about thoughts, time, losing and finding, feeling and living, falling and healing and of course bittersweet love♡

[silent-sound]

melted chocolate in your eyes, a steady fire reflecting your soul, your blushing lips, a bed of a beard, your waterfall hair tangling mine, a velvet smile, an alluring glimpse, my heartbeat in sync with your breath, fast spoken words, soft and sweet, you are mine and I am yours

I love how your eyes shine in the dawn and the inner child you never hide I love the way your fingers play with mine how you kiss my feet, how you bite my toe I love how your lashes frame your eyes and how your sun-kissed face has a golden shine I love how your voice carries a scent of stars how you and I feel like venus and mars I love how I hate to feel your breath at night and how I yet hide in your arms from all the dreams I fight

the inner child you made me save so yours and mine can always play and whoever you shall be in the next year or the ones coming I will always love you with all the strength my heart can offer you leo beauty, my water eyes, I am yours and you are mine

[silent-sound]

the past; a secure space I hold in my mind easiness laid on our skin now it is dust we got old in just a couple of months I miss these new felt days where kisses lasted for hours a new touch opened  a new thirst our smile reflected in each other eyes we used to find passion in an old bed and dirty sheets Yet today; the present promises pain, we found insanity in the soulmates we tried to be

[silent-sound]

old cigarettes and bitter black coffee a taste of discontent on the tip of my tongue closing my eyes to enter a storm of endless thoughts, a dusty brain sometimes my body feels too heavy to carry so I lay down and just stay in a strangers bed for as long as I can get away with it old sheets and red-stained walls a strangers bed became my home

[silent-sound]

I got lost in your sheets in the tightness of your arms in the rhythm of your breath in the warmth of your heart

yet I found myself in love a place of tenderness I found myself with you a place of lost and found

[silent-sound]

lone lovers

we were, we are we used to be two strangers, two souls wandering through a world of small towns and drunken nights same days and a questioning mind of when there will be a time of passionate lovers, red roses and thirsty kisses and here we are now 9 months later two lovers, two dreamer wandering through the same world fed up from kisses, and drunk of desire we found what we wanted yet loneliness: even lovers can't fill all the empty spaces they carry within themselves 

[silent-sound]

You placed your heart closely next to mine and I felt warm I felt whole I felt like my heart will never beat again if it isn't close to yours

[silent-sound]

another night has taken my heart, ripped it out of my hollow chest, to feed it to the moon and her shining children stars

this easy I've lost my heart, as easy as I did with you. oh baby I've been bagging you to forget our unspoken words. silence hurts differently and I know mine burns the worst

I have become a monster, rough claws, a hateful voice, green eyes, red lips, cold bones. are you ready to fight my demon? because oh baby, I have already lost the war

[silent-sound]

Go on, my love let's change our sheets let the dull whiteness reinvent our desire

Let's move, my love find a new house to call it home and ignore the empty space we can’t fill on our own

Let's go, my love what do you try to say? you would rather leave then to stay forever the same?

[silent-sound]

finding myself drifting to sleep in your arms knowing that waking up next to you will be a great reason to wake up for

[silent-sound]

today I love you

tomorrow I hate you

next week we are forgotten

today you love me

tomorrow you miss me

next week we are forgotten

[silent-sound]

don't let me go

if I try to leave

hold on, hold on

or I am gonna fall

just by proving you

I could fly on my own

without your wings

saving me from my

heavy stubbornness

[silent-sound]

You have to take actions they say but how to move when I am paralyzed by the speed of time which sometimes moves too fast and sometimes don’t move at all

[silent-sound]

When will appear the day where I am finally ready to open my eyes? Stop hiding from days, months, years which I apologize with "Today is just one of the other kind"

Where I will stop dividing days into "this kind" and "good kind"

Where I won't fear falling asleep because of how terrifying it feels waking up and living without changes

Where driving home won't feel like an obstacle I can't overcome but end up panicking every Sunday all over it again

Where I am ready to open my eyes and perceive the colors of the world swallow them and start to see what I am missing by holding my eyes closed

[silent-sound]

I am tired

of the numb feeling

of tiredness

which drugs

my mind

until I feel

nothing

[silent-sound]

I desired to learn so many things

Like trusting, instead of searching affection in your night sky eyes

Like loving, instead of rushing only to control and not to lose

Like healing, instead of hurting myself and everyone I feel around

Like being thankful, instead of sorry for all the words which leave my mouth

Like living, instead of dying with every day I waste for nothing

Like living, like living like living time as easy as you do

Why do you feel so alive?

[silent-sound]

distant soulmate

our timelines do not cross in a million lifetimes I am here, you are there you are here, I am gone only the lonesome nights we spend on our own letting us dream of something more

how to fall in love if there is nothing to fall for? and believe me a stolen laugh is not nearly enough to call our nothingness an illusion of love

[silent-sound]

fallen for the moon

I used to adore the night fill my soul, fill my heart with the soft cold light of the moons shining tears and drink them until I am nothing but a dream drunk demon in love with the fading promise of an everlasting love between the moon and me connected with those nighttime wanderers which bear the same fate searching her light   even when she is fading waxing, full and new holding on to something I am way too small for