I’m back... sorta
I’m back on here real quick. An update on what’s been going on with me:
About a month or two ago, I deactivated all my social media accounts except Tumblr & Reddit, since I forget about those apps. I did this because so much shit is happening in the world that I can’t avoid hearing about via social media, and it was mentally taking a toll on me.
Spending too much time endless scrolling for nothing on different platforms- subconsciously comparing myself to others, also began to affect me mentally.
I’ve had the urge to reactivate my Twitter, and get back active on Facebook. But I know that if I go back, I’m gonna get hooked again- and I don’t have the discipline to control when enough time is enough.
I have my first counseling session next week. It has been since about 2014 or 2015 since I last went to counseling. This one is going to be different for me, because I realized, now at this age, my upbringing has always affected who I’ve been and who I am with others- especially my relationships; to the point that my defense mechanisms are fuckin’ it up for me. So this journey is going to be healing and forgiving the things/people of my past and restructuring my mind and my ways. That’s what I expect to come out of this.
I moved out of state. I thought that the move would maybe hit me when I got to my new home. But nothing has rly hit me, and that’s probably because I’ve been mentally preparing myself for a while. Gratefully, I have my dog with me. He’s the best. He’s such a comfort to me.
I’m trying to be more accepting of the many temporary eras/experiences life gives me, and not take everything so serious, or feel like I’m boxed in where I am. I guess for as long as I can remember, I’ve always thought our passion needs to be our career, and that that’s our purpose in life. But something my boyfriend said was a huge realization to me; our passion doesn’t have to be our career. We could get bored or tired doing our passion as a career, and then end up having to find something new. It can be a hobby- something we do on our free time.
So that’s the update for now. There’s so much more- but the gist of where I am mentally, is like “ in progress... “
Kylo right now... how I wish to be him.
