Lilacs and Gingersnaps

A blog about my interests. Pleased to meet you.

[ozempicofficial]

[regardo1975]

...wrong server buddy!!!

[viralfrog]

[bedupolker]

[special-lucky-chosen-one]

I like when someone invents a new and disturbing way to Decorate Wrong

[isawken]

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

[bluelois]

Blue Lois

[isawken]

can i help you

[redmarge]

Red Marge

[isawken]

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[isawken]

i deserve a medal for this post. not because i was particularly funny but because i survived an onslaught of nearly one hundred gimmick blogs in the wake of this post popping off, and the fact that i didn’t try to track any of them down and snuff them out with my bare hands is a testament to my immeasurable strength and should be rewarded. at one point i had “the official letter h” add on to this post. you wanna know that blog’s gimmick? the really funny and original and worthwhile gimmick the official letter h blog had? yep you guessed it they just gave me the god damned letter H and then fucked off. only jesus knows the suffering i endured over that harsh winter, and he wept for me

[crossroadsbishounen]

dave and busters what the fuck is a sticky creebler

[stickycreebler]

First of all put some respect on my name

[markovchaingang]

RULES FOR DATING MY DAUGHTER:

my daughter cannot, through action or inaction, harm a human or allow a human to come to harm

a daughter at rest or in constant motion remains at rest or in constant motion unless acted upon by another force

daughters are never created or destroyed, only transformed

always treat every daughter as loaded, even if you know she isn't

you do not talk about my daughter

[abalidoth]

6. If x and y are my daughters, then there exists a set that has x and y as elements.

7. You can fold my daughter through any two points.

8. I have exactly one daughter parallel to a given line passing through a given point.

[inthefallofasparrow]

9. If my daughter is hung on the wall in the first act, then in the following one she must be fired. Otherwise don't put her there.

10. When two or more daughters are offered for a phenomenon, the simplest daughter is preferable.

11. Any sufficiently advanced daughter is indistinguishable from magic.

12. Without a clear indicator of intent, it is utterly impossible to parody my daughter without someone mistaking it for the genuine article.

13. My daughter is nine-tenths of the law.

[charlesoberonn]

14. Anything my daughter can do wrong, she will do wrong

15. You do not talk about my daughter

16. The number of my daughters that can fit on a microchip doubles every 18 months

[thewelllitweenie]

17. Never attribute malice to my daughter which can be equally be attributed to ignorance.

[charlesoberonn]

18. The human whose name is written on my daughter shall die

[yellow-cat]

nothing good left in this world.

[once-a-polecat]

Local restaurant having trouble with whores apparently.

[thatpinkkwitch]

i just heard the phrase “if you wouldn’t trust their advice, don’t trust their criticism” for the first time and i don’t think i’ve ever needed to hear anything more

[dhia-dreaming]

And once I was told "if you don't agree with their actions, why do you seek their approval"

[beemovieerotica]

is it ok to get "white girl wasted" if you arent white?

yes

no

Voting ended onFeb 19

[beemovieerotica]

why am i being ratioed here...no's come to my defense

[beemovieerotica]

is it ok to get "white girl wasted" if you arent a girl?

yes

no

Voting ended onFeb 19

[beemovieerotica]

this is the discourse im here for

[beemovieerotica]

[apollosdrunkenmixup]

prev tags

[filmphotofranz]

[kaban-bang]

[depsidase]

[iapislazuli]

when i was at walgreens (at 3 in the morning which explains all of this) the cashier was talking to her coworker about how shed rather be a werewolf than a vampire because vampires are condemned to hell but werewolves arent and then she asked me what i thought and i said vampire because im already condemned to hell and she said in the nicest tone of voice “i dont think anybody is condemned to hell….” paused, stared at me for a few moments, and added on “…not even gay people” 

[iapislazuli]

Happy pride month to the filthiest most brutal read I’ve ever been given in my life

[dogpuppy]

[noelledeltarune]

before pride month ends does anyone wanna admit they have a crush on me

[noelledeltarune]

posting this on the first day of june so you all have plenty of time to gather your nerves and whatnot

[tortellinigirl]

men really be like “well this woman has studied this subject her whole life, and i am a man, so we have equal knowledge on this”

[hcrzallerliebst-a-deactivated20]

it’s ok you could have just said “i hate men”

[tortellinigirl]

okay, i hate men

[1dietcokeinacan]