A note/open letter/goodbye
I’ve been contemplating for a while leaving most social media platforms where I’ve carved out an “internet life” for myself. The one thing that always kept me from doing that is the friendships I have made, mostly because they were important to me and I thought of those friends as real, genuine friends that I could count on. After a few months of radio silence in some places, more to do with the fact that I’ve been focused on work and my professional life as well as dealing with some personal things, I’ve realized that the value of these friendships was incredibly one-sided - and that was a very, VERY sobering feeling. Time to get honest. Some may take this as whiny, some as dramatic, but I don’t care at this point because it’s how I feel. I used to come to social media to escape the pressures of life and converse with like minded people about my likes and dislikes. I thought I had built strong relationships, but in my mind, if you don’t care enough about a person to check up with them every once in a while, then that relationship is not strong. If I noticed an internet friend disappeared for a while, I’d worry. I’d DM them or ping them just to check in and make sure everything was okay. Nobody did that for me. And that’s okay, but it doesn’t make it less hurtful. If you don’t care about me like I care about you, that’s okay. It’s on me to adjust my expectations, and if I built up a friendship in my mind into something it wasn’t, again: that’s on me. I’ve struggled a long time to grasp the fact that not everyone will treat you in the same respect as you treat them. The Libra in me - the person who expects balance - makes it difficult for me to understand and accept this. And that applies here: it’s hard for me to accept the fact that I can be so giving to a friend and not have them be that compassionate in return. I know they are capable of it because I see them do it for others. But alas, the realization that I am just not as important to someone as they are important to me is very real. Consider it a character flaw. So consider this my final note here on Tumblr and my fandom Twitter. The time I’ve spent here on this site has been a great memory to take with me, but that time is up. Wish the best to all, always. xo Ale













