take my ass to torture city where the grass is ouch and the girls are hit me
nope. funkytown again
I'd rather be in outer space šø

izzy's playlists!
ojovivo
𩵠avery cochrane š©µ
will byers stan first human second

JVL
noise dept.

Discoholic šŖ©
Show & Tell
Today's Document

shark vs the universe
One Nice Bug Per Day
sheepfilms

Product Placement
Aqua Utopiaļ½ęµ·ć®åŗć§čØę¶ćē“”ć

@theartofmadeline
NASA

tannertan36

bliss lane
Claire Keane

seen from United States

seen from Malaysia
seen from Spain

seen from Germany

seen from T1

seen from Philippines

seen from Russia

seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from Venezuela

seen from Japan

seen from Canada

seen from Malaysia

seen from Germany
seen from India
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia

seen from Canada

seen from United States

seen from United States
@silvermastermind
take my ass to torture city where the grass is ouch and the girls are hit me
nope. funkytown again
Malicious unreliable narrator who really wants to lie to the audience for fun getting increasingly frustrated as every bit of bullshit they spin inexplicably later turns out to be technically true.
All right, hold on ā is there anyone in this room who wasn't grown in a tube by a shadowy quasi-governmental conspiracy as a living weapon? Anyone at all?
Mine was a sphere
you guys got your own containers? I was grown in a high-capacity vat with the rest of my batch
Bougie mf over here with a high-capacity vat acting like they were soooo much worse off than those of us grown from the fucking SOIL
Fuck y'all, I'm going back to the ditch ooze.
I think I might be in the wrong meeting room but I brought cookies if anyone wants one.
wedding dresses are white specifically so that if the bride goes axe-crazy you can rest assured you will see the blood stains all over her and it'll be sick as fuck
I'm currently living in a two-cat household, and there's a thing that happens where the first cat is calling for me, the second cat shows up like "you rang?", and the first cat immediately smacks the second cat in the face like "not you, knucklehead". They do this every day.
The second cat always comes running when the first cat calls for me, even though it gets her dope-slapped with 100% reliability. I suspect she simply enjoys the attention.
weighted blanket's not enough i need to be compressed by a hydraulic press
this website gets me
Periscope up
Green heron (Butorides virescens)
birds have secret bones we're not allowed to know about
its been 6 months and im still not over this. easily best and most hilarious play in baseball history
for those who dont really understand:
-the first baseman had no reason to chase BaƩz, if he just stepped on the bag he was automatically out
-theres two outs, so if hes out, the inning is over. even if the runner on second base gets home, the run doesnt count. its not until hes safe at first that the run scores
-theres no specific rule in baseball about running backwards from first, just that you ācannot retreat to home baseā meaning so long as if you dont touch the plate, its fine
-BaƩz ran backwards to kill enough to get the run to score, and then stole and extra base on the base on the bad throw
-HE TOOK THE TIME TO UMPIRE HIS OWN PLAY AND CALL SAFE
what a fucking sport yall
@fractaldunes
Javier BaĆ©zās nickname according to those announcers is El Mago which is spanish for The Wizard
Well earned
love how the explanations do not help at all
Let me see if I can break this down a little more.
Javier BĆ”ez (the batter, a Chicago Cub, wearing blue) has just hit the ball. His job is now to run around the bases - 1st, 2nd, 3rd, back to where he started (āhomeā), at which point he will have scored a point. In practice, he will probably stop partway, wait for the next batter to get a hit, and try to make it home from there.
The Pittsburgh Pirates (in white) are fielding. Their job is to stop the Cubs from scoring by getting them out, by various combinations of catching the ball and tagging people or bases with it.
The scoreboard (top left) shows that one Cub has already made it to second base, so he will resume running now that Javy has a hit. It also shows that two Cubs are out. If a third Cub gets out, their turn to bat will be over, it will be the Piratesā turn to bat, and the Cubs canāt score anymore (for now, but thatās not relevant).
The Pirate at first base (the first baseman) has the ball. All he needs to do is step on first base while holding it before Javy gets there, and Javy is out. This is probably the number one most common thing a first baseman has to do.
He does not do it.
For some reason he starts chasing Javy, presumably trying to tag him with the ball directly. This is a perfectly legitimate way of getting him out, but also completely unnecessary.
This has never happened to Javy before. Unsure what else to do, he just kind of⦠jogs backwards away from him.
Meanwhile, the Cub who was at second base (Contreras) has made it all the way back to home. Because the Piratesā first baseman has helpfully walked the ball back home, he can easily toss it to the Pirate at home (the catcher) who will tag Contreras out.
The catcher doesnāt tag him in time.
The umpire signals that Contreras is safe (not out).
Javy also signals that Contreras is safe, just for fun. Heās never been nearby when a teammate makes it home before, and heās enjoying himself.
Notice that the score has not changed, even though Contreras made it home. Thatās because Javy is still technically running to first base. If he gets out before he reaches it, the Cubsā turn to bat is over, and nothing else thatās happened since he hit the ball matters.
Javy remembers this, and heads back to first base. The catcher throws the ball to another Pirates fielder, who is frantically running to do the first basemanās job.
He doesnāt catch it.
Javy is safe at first. Contreras scores (although the scoreboard wonāt change for a second).
Javy notices how far away that ball landed, and decides he can make it to second base before anyone picks it up and tags him out.
An offscreen Pirate throws the ball to second base, where another Pirate is ready and waiting to catch it, tag Javy out, and end the Cubsā turn to bat.
He doesnāt catch it.
Javy is safe at second. The video doesnāt show it, but he will go on to score as well.
This should have been a very easy out for the Pirates, but through two dropped catches and one truly bizarre decision from the first baseman, they snatched defeat from the jaws of victory and turned it into two points for the Cubs.
The Cubs won this game by two points.
HAPPY OPENING DAY OF BASEBALL 2022 YALL. LETS PRAY FOR MORE OF THIS BULLSHIT
I know Iāve reblogged this before, but hereās a version with an explanation for folks unfamiliar with the game* and this amazing comment:
Never change, Pittsburgh
all of those are brown
here is the picture from the AƱo Nuevo State Park instagram, the colour is suspected to be from rolling in red algae
That one is porple
thereās a t-shirt that says āI survived a bad day and all I got was the rest of my lifeā and yeah I still think about it
conversation i just had
desperately want to draw want nothing less than to be drawing
this is how many pillows I want
Where does the you go. In this scenario
? what do u mean
Ah another fan of the classic children's roleplay, "neolithic burial"
yeah u get it
look at this wonderful gif of scallops getting scared and scattering like a flock pigeons
whatever. go my scallops
last night I had the experience of "referencing a tumblr post that you think is widely known but turns out to not be as widely known as you thought it was" last night and it was this post. whatever. go my scallops
Happy let Papyrus say fuck day!
A free-range group therapy called "get herded, idiot", where you and everyone in your group is set loose to run around on an open field while a highly trained shepherd dog tries to keep you all in one group. I am not sure what benefit this would have for anyone involved.