I have done a lot of work on myself around grounding energy, positivity, and not allowing negativity to have a consistent role in my life. I love this about myself. However it becomes maddening when you have made this change in your life and it has become easy to navigate your life in these ways, and yet your loved ones still struggle with this. Your family, friends, coworkers, partner struggle to find happiness, they struggle to find positivity, they are in no hurry to make sometimes challenging changes in order to better themselves or find happiness, they're thinking is negative and they have to work very very hard to be consciously aware of this and change it. It's exhausting and quite sad to graduate from counseling and finally understand what it feels like to lead a happy, healthy life and realize the ones you want to share this growth with either are in no hurry to meet you in your growth, or still have a lot of work to do before they can meet you. It's lonely.
I am learning more and more about people at their core. And it helps me. It helps me: not take things personally, it makes me think about people's actual intentions and not just my percieved ones, and it helps me accept that some people are just the way that they are and most people probably won't change-even if I want them too. But it also makes me sad when I grow close to someone who's core qualities I start to understand. It's sad to learn that some people are just rude and negative. They don't try to be. They don't work hard to be. They don't seek to be. They don't intend to be. They just are. And they have to consciously be aware of when they are coming across this way to others and have to try and have to really work to be nice and positive. I'm realizing not everyone has genuine qualities of happiness and positivity and compassion at their core. And while this makes logical since because each person is made up of a different personality, it still shits all over my inner Peter Pan childlike syndrome expecting everyone to naturally have these qualities deep down inside.
